Fulfilling Promises
by fiona1987
Summary: COMPLETE.Fiona goes to great lengths to join Easy Company to continue the work of her deceased friend, an Easy Soldier. When she finally gets there she bonds greatly with them, with two of them in particular. Bill/Babe/OC. Please read and review :
1. Chapter 1 Aldbourne

Note- I did a bit of research to be as historically accurate with this story as possible but if anyone notices anything wrong please let me know

**FULFILLING PROMISES- a Band of Brother story.**

**Ok, this is a story idea I've had for a long time but I never got round to writing it til now cos I moved and when I finally got connected to the internet in my new place it broke and I didn't have it again for ages…that and I haven't written a fic in a long time so I was worried I wouldn't be able to do it right. So…this first chapter is a little short and basically just a bit of a tester. If you don't like it let me know and I'll stop or if you want me to go on tell me and I will lol. It's a little slow starting but there will be a Bill/Babe/OC romance along the way**

**Note- I did a bit of research to be as historically accurate with this story as possible in terms of war facts but if anyone notices anything wrong please let me know. **

**

_(3 Years Earlier- South Philadelphia)_

"_I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," I said, poking at the mostly uneaten food on my plate._

"_Come on, Fi, you think you'd be glad to be rid of me," James joked. "Lord knows you joke about it often enough."_

"_Maybe I ended up jinxing it, huh?" I said, sadly._

"_Don't be so down, I won't be away that long," he said, putting his hand over mine._

"_James, you might never come back," I asserted. "You're my best friend. How am I supposed to sleep knowing what you might be going through over there. How am I supposed to face the gloomy South Philly streets without you?" _

"_Fiona, the world is at war…you can't think about yourself," he replied firmly._

_Embarassed at appearing self-centred, I changed the subject. "So that's why you're not thinking about yourself?"_

"_Exactly. But it's more than that. Can't you tell that this war is a fight that's going to change the face and history of our country and the world forever? It's a fight I want in on," he said._

"_Wow, who knew you could be so deep," I half-smiled. "Okay, I get that. But why this? Why do you want to be a paratrooper?"_

"_Hey, at least I'll get to see the world," he said, evidently dodging the question._

"_Mmm yeah…I hear Germany's lovely this time of year…"I said, dryly. "Answer the question."_

"_Well the article said…"he started._

"_I know what the damn Life Magazine article said," I retorted. "I bought you the copy. Wish I never had now."  
"Don't sulk like that. And don't be so against me trying to join the paratroopers. I know it's dangerous but at least I'll be trained to be the best," he said. "I'd be getting drafted either way…at least I get the edge this way."  
"I guess that much is true…" I admitted._

"_See, you know it makes sense," he smiled, hugging me. "…and I'll make you damn proud of me."_

_**_

(Aldbourne, England)

Getting out of the car and taking my first step into Aldbourne was like walking into one of those miniature models of an idyllic town. It was so far removed from anything I'd seen back in South Philly that I might as well have been on a different planet. Quaint little thatched cottages and bungalows nestled in neatly amongst the vast acres of rolling countryside…quite different to the five-storey walk-up I'd been raised in back home. I'd never seen so ,much green in my life.

Startling me back to reality, the bubbly blonde who'd been my companion in the car got out behind me. "Oh my gawd…have you eva seen anything like this in your whole life?"

"Honestly, no," I said, breathtaken.

"It's gawjus," She exclaimed. "Nice to know that some places are still pretty when the rest of the world is being torn to shreds."  
I smiled at her sentiment. "So…how come Beverley didn't travel with us in the car?"  
"Oh please, Miss 'Star of the Show' gets her own car. Refuses to travel with the help. Ridiculous, know what I mean?" the girl said as we were led to our lodgings.

"Is she really bitchy though, cos I'm nervous as it is," I said.  
"Well, yeah…you shoulda heard her yelling at the girl you're replacing when she got food poisoning. Poor gal. Still, at least you got a job out of it, huh? You're lucky you don't work full-time with her though, like me. I swear, I've done around 20 USO performances with her all around Europe and every time I get that close to shoving her microphone down her throat, know what I mean?" she rambled. "I'm Judy by the way, I woulda introduced myself in the car but you slept practically the whole way."  
"I'm Fiona. Yeah, I haven't really slept…in months, actually."  
"Well you'd better get a good nights sleep before the show tomorrow. Least the beds look comfy enough here," she said as we were led into our bedroom. "Looks like we're sharing a room. I promise ya I don't snore!"

She lied. But that was only part of the reason that I couldn't sleep. It was shared with nerves both for the performance tomorrow and for whether I'd be able to achieve what I'd come to Aldbourne to achieve. I was a trained Army Flight Nurse who'd been working in France for the last few months…and somehow I'd managed to get to Albourne on a few days leave to be a backing singer for the music sensation Beverley D'Angelo on one of her dozens of United Service Organisation performances all around Europe. It was a stroke of luck I'd managed to get her, really…I swear, if one of her original backing singers hadn't eaten some dodgy dinner I don't know how I would have managed to get myself here.. I know it sounds bad, but I honestly couldn't have cared less about fulfilling the USO's mission statement of providing entertainment and boosting morale amongst the soldiers serving for their country. Truthfully, I had other reasons for getting myself to Aldbourne. I started to reflect on this when I finally fell into a deep sleep…

The next night, I stood backstage with Judy. My hair was put up in a bouffant and I was dressed in a glittery pink dress. I felt like a Barbie doll. Instantly, I recognised the star of the show, Beverley. I knew it was her because she was surrounded by people, fussing around her…and she was shouting orders at them all. She marched up to Judy and I. "Ok new girl, it's like this. You're not the main attraction here so don't pretend to be. You stand next to Jenny here and you do exactly what your job description says. You back up my vocals. Don't try and out-sing me and and don't try and attract any attention to yourself. Do that and we'll get along just fine. Don't do it and you'll be sorry…got it?". She stalked off to have a last minute application of powder.

Speechless, I simpy uttered "What a Bitch!"  
"I know, right!" Judy agreed. "I can't believe after all this time she's still calling me Jenny! I swear if I ever get the chance I'm gonna-"

Judy didn't get to finish as the music started and that was our cue to get ourselves on the stage. Positioning myself behind my microphone, I scanned the crowd thoroughly. There were so many soldiers and the lights were so bright. I couldn't see the company of men that I was looking for. I didn't even know how I was going to recognise them. It was almost funny watching these great defenders of our country, and how they were turning into shrieking monkeys in the mere presence of women. Men were rushing down the front of the stage to get a better look at Beverley and cat calls echoed around the auditorium. I knew that if I wanted to find out the information I was looking for, I'd have to get chatty in the bar later. Just as I was thinking this I realised Beverley had come out and finished her whole song…and I had forgotten to sing along to any of it. Shit.


	2. Chapter 2 Avoidance and Introductions

After the applause subsided I got away from the stage as quickly as possible

After the applause subsided I got away from the stage as quickly as possible. Away from the wrath and inevitable berating by Beverley, plus I was eager to get out into the bar and "socialise". So, after making my face and hair look normal and more human again, that's exactly what I did. I figured that being in a town where there were much more men than women, the chatty men would find me if I just sat at the bar…and those were the type I was looking for, the ones with loose lips.

"Orange juice, please," I asked the barman.

"Hello there," a voice behind me said.  
I turned round to stare at the man who'd propped himself up on the bar next to me."Good Evening."

"Swell performance," he congratulated me.

Unsure of whether he was being sarcastic to me, I mumbled "Thanks".

"Awfully good of you ladies to entertain the soldiers," he continued.

"Well, you all have been doing such a fine job fighting the jerries," I said, trying to flatter his ego. "But I can't tell you all apart at all. What regiment are you in?"

"506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, " he beamed, proudly.

"Oh?" I smiled widely, a paratrooper…could be on the right track.

"D Company", he finished.

"Oh", I said disappointingly. I didn't want to offend the soldier, he had every right to be proud of his regiment…but I had to find the people I was looking for. "Well you paratroopers are truly inspirational. Will you excuse me? I need to use the ladies."

I moved further down the bar.

"Buy you a drink?" Someone asked me.

"Sure," I said, turning round to face the mystery man. He was average-sized, muscly and handsome with a cheeky face.

"What's your poison?" he asked.

"White wine, please" I replied, trying to look sexy by fluttering my eyelashes.

"Have you got something in your eye?" He asked as he ordered my drink.

"No," I said, dejectedly. Some women just can't flirt, huh.

"So…did you suddenly become temporarily mute or just a really bad case of stage fright?" He asked, referring to my performance.

I laughed, the wine taking away my humility. "Honestly…I just forgot to sing. I know that sounds stupid but it's true."

"Honestly…that does sound a little stupid," he teased and I playfully hit him.

"At least you looked good up there," he told me flirtily, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Soldiers get flirty when they're female-deprived and tipsy.

"Well gee, thanks," I replied. "So, what do you do in the army?"

"Me? I'm a paratrooper," he replied. "506th Parachute Infantry Regiment…Easy Company."  
Bingo.

"Impressive. Paratrooper, pretty tough job," I said.

"How'd you know?" he asked, but not in a nasty way.

"Knew one once," I told him, smiling.

We were interrupted by Judy, who walked up to me with about 5 soldiers in tow.

"Hey, hon, look out. Beverley is on the warpath after the performance. She's got people looking for you because, you know, she's too much of a diva to come out here herself."

"On the run, huh?" Bill asked, amusedly. "A few of my buddies in my unit are waiting for me down at this local pub we go to if you wanna come?"

"Sure," I smiled. Honestly, I wasn't worried about Beverley. I already had a job in the army, she could do nothing about that except shout at me…and I wasn't prepared to stick around for that. But at least this way I got to go and be amongst Easy Company men, exactly where I'd been hoping to be.

"Okay, you two get outta here then," Judy smiled. "Also, don't worry about tonight, we all get stage fright."

I hugged her as Bill led me away. As we walked out of the door he turned to me and asked. "You from Philadelphia?"

"South Philly, yeah. Just like you!" I replied.

"I could tell," he said.

"Me too," I laughed.

Walking into the "Generous General" pub, you wouldn't even guess there was a war on, well… except for the fact that it was filled with soldiers. The place was alive with excited chatter, hazy smoke and free-flowing booze. Bill led me up to a table of men who were talking animatedly in the kind of slurred English you only get from knocking back too many pints.

"Bill, where the hell you been?" One slurred.

"Sorry fellas, I was chattin to this fine lady," he smiled. "Fellas, this is…this is…wait, I haven't even asked your name yet have I?"

"Smooth, Bill," the same man slurred again.

"It's Fiona," I smiled. "You're Bill, I see."

"Yeah," he laughed. "Fiona?...Irish?"

"Scottish," I said in unison with one of the other men. I looked over at who had said it and saw that it was a red-haired man with rosy cheeks. He looked about my age. "How'd you know?"

"Figured, cos it's not Irish," the man replied. "I'm Irish."

"Yeah, that's Babe. He's a mick," said Bill.

"A mick from Philadelphia I think?" I queried.

"Yeah he is. South Philly too, we're making quite a little gang here huh?" Bill laughed.

"Where in South Philly you from?"

"Front Street," I replied.

"Oh yeah? Me too? I never seen you around before," he said, as if trying to place me.

"No I don't recognise you either, I live in the apartments above Finnigan's Groceries," I told him.

"Oh ok, I'm waaaay at the other end," he laughed.

"Ok, other introductions. This is Johnny Martin, Chuck Grant, Frank Perconte, Joe Liebgott, George Luz, you know Babe, Joe Toye, Smokey, Hoobler, Lieutenant Compton and this is Captain Winters. Sir." Bill saluted the captain, who returned the gesture. I knew a Captain wasn't the high authority I was after, but at least it was the right direction.

"Well gentlemen, I think I'll call it a night," Captain Winters stood up and turned to leave. "Nice to meet you, Miss."

"Goodnight, Sir," Bill replied. "Hey Fiona, you wanna sit? Hey fellas, make room huh?"

"So was he, like, your boss?" I asked acting dumb as we sat down.

"Of my company yes," Bill replied.

"Oh, so not like the whole battalion?" I asked, keeping up my dumb pretences.

"No, that would be Colonel Sink…why?" he asked, a little.

"Nothing, I just get a little confused with the status names and who does what," I smiled, mentally noting the name _Colonel Sink_.

"Ok," he said.

"So, Babe, you ever eat in a place called 'Martha's Munchery'?" I asked, changing the subject.

Babe laughed. "Uh yeah, for free…my aunt owns it. She is Martha. Aunt Martha"

"Wow, no shit. I used to eat in there all the time with my friend," I told him.

"Anyone for some darts?" Luz asked.

"Oh yeah, sure," Babe said, standing up. "Fiona, you play?"

"Yeah, I do. My Uncle taught me. The upside of having British relatives, huh?" I smiled.

"Ok great, what's say you and me team up against George and Babe?" Bill asked, reaching for my hand.

"You're on!" I laughed.

(one hour later)

"Dammit, I blame you George," Babe said. "Four beers all round? Losers buying?"

"Ok, why don't you guys go get them then?" I laughed as they walked away.

"I think a well-deserved victory. We should be proud of ourselves, very proud," Bill said, happily.

"We? What we? You neglected to tell me you suck at darts! I totally carried us through that game," I laughed, hitting him on the shoulder.

"Alright, alright, you are truly superior to me at darts. But, listen, don't tell the guys I said that when they get back cos, y'know, got a rep to protect, capische?" he jokingly warned.

"Ok, it'll be our little secret," I said, winking sarcastically.

"Four Beers. There we go," George said, passing them around as they sat with us again.

"So Bill, could you suck any more?" Babe asked.

"I know, he just admitted defeat to a girl," I hiccupped.

"Hey, what about that promise?" Bill laughed.

"I know but…but…the _beer_," I squeaked, laughing.

"So, you feel better about the performance tonight?" George asked.

"Yup, alcohol definitely works. To be honest though, I wasn't that interested in the performance. Got me away from France for a little while," I admitted, drunkenly.

"Why were you in France?" Bill asked. _Shit_.

"Oh my, I really like your tie, Bill. I don't think I've ever seen one like that before!" I said, trying desperately to change the subject.

"Uh…yeah," George said, sarcastically. "It's a very original tie…that we're _all_ wearing."

"Maybe it's time for you to go home, Boozerella," Bill suggested.

"I think that would probably be a good idea," I laughed. "Though I blame you all for getting me tipsy."

"Come on, I'll walk you home," Bill said, standing up.

"Ok, it was so nice to meet you all," I waved at the guys.

"See you here again, tomorrow?" Babe asked.

"Sure," I smiled, as Bill led me out.

"So, you really can't drink, can you?" Bill joked as we walked home.

"Pfffft, yeah I can! I'm from Scottish stock…we swill whiskey," I laughed. "Just I haven't had a drink in quite a while, so I'm a little rusty."

"Just as well, you'd embarrass the guys if you could drink better than them. They like to think they excel at it," he laughed.

"Well just wait til I get back up to speed," I retorted.

"Oh dear, we'll need to watch out then."

"Damn straight," I giggled. "Well, this is me."

"Okay. So, will you really be making an appearance at the pub again tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," I smiled. "Maybe this time with a little less alcohol, or we're talking hair of the dog."

"Fair enough. I'm glad Babe asked you…saves me having to do it."

I smiled. "Ok, good night Bill."

"Very nice to meet you, Fiona," he smiled, kissing my hand.

"How gentlemanly," I joked.

"I'm the full package," he laughed, as he turned away. "Oh, and you may not have sang at all tonight…but you certainly lit up the stage with your beauty."

I laughed off the comment in a jokey way, but after he said it I definitely felt my stomach fill with butterflies.


	3. Chapter 3 Talking the Colonel Round

Sorry if the last chapter was difficult to read

**Sorry if the last chapter was difficult to read. I put more spaces between all the scenes so as not to be too confusing but it came out all clumped together when I uploaded it. Any suggestions on how to fix this?**

……………………

I woke up the next morning with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. Then the splitting headache kicked in. Hangover. Looking over to the vacant bed next to me, I figured it was probably why I hadn't heard Judy leave at all. Forcing myself to stand up, I set my mind on getting a cup of coffee and shaking it off. I had a lot to do today.

…………………..

Wearing my nurse uniform, I walked as casually as possible towards Battalion HQ, smoothing out my hair before I walked inside. Scanning the room, I saw a small-framed man wearing glasses sitting behind a desk.

"Excuse me," I asked, politely. "I'm looking for Colonel Sink."

The man looked me up and down, snootily. "Do you have an appointment to see the Colonel?"

"…no. But It's very urgent," I stressed.

"I'm sorry, the Colonel has a busy day," he said, dryly.

"So you're telling me he doesn't have any spare time in his schedule?" I stated.

"Miss we're at war, I highly doubt he has any free time," he said, staring down at me.

"I'm very sorry to insist, but this is a matter of extreme importance," I said, almost through gritted teeth.

He smirked. "And what exactly would this be in reference to?"

"It's…personal," I said, weakly.

"I'm very sorry, Nurse. The Colonel can't see anyone," he said firmly, putting both of his hands on the desk, signalling that this conversation was over.

"But I…", I started to argue, but looking at his face I knew it was hopeless and I walked away, dejected.

………………….

Out in the hall I couldn't stop my self from ripping off my Nurse hat off of my head, slamming it off the wall and screaming "Son of a Bi-"

"My my, Young Lady, what's the problem?" A moustached man said, walking up the corridor towards me.

"Oh," I said, trying to compose myself. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Not a problem. What's got you all flustered?" He asked.

"I just really wanted to see the Colonel about an important matter, but the man behind the desk says he has no time at all…which I, personally, think is a load of cr-…nonsense.," I blushed.

"You might be right," he chuckled. "What was this important matter?" He queried.

"It was just something…very private and very close to my heart," I said, not giving anything away.

"I see…well in that case you'd better step into my office," He smiled, and motioned the way to Colonel Sink's office.

"You're…," I said, glancing at the insignia on his collar for the first time. "Yes Colonel Sink, sir. Right away."

He led me to his office, past the clerk whom I stuck my tongue out at…hey, he deserved it. The office was very plush, despite having a look that suggested it had been thrown together in some urgency. I sat down in a plush chair at the Colonel's request.

"Now, Miss…what's the problem?" He asked, sitting down in his chair.

"Well, Sir, firstly thank you so much for agreeing to see me," I said sincerely and he nodded in acceptance. "Sir, I have a request to ask of you. I know I have no right to come to your office and ask, given your rank and especially given mine but I wouldn't be here if this wasn't incredibly important to me."

"Go on…," He said, motioning.

"Well, Sir, I'm a qualified Army Nurse and I'm stationed in France. I've been there for some time now since D-day. Whilst I realise that there is important work that needs to be done there, I would really like to be transferred into your regiment…specifically Easy Company, Sir."

He was silent for a few seconds. "Why is that?"

"It's a long story, Sir," I said, honestly.

"Then give me the short version," He commanded.

I sighed. "My best friend was in this regiment, but he died in Normandy. He was a very good soldier and I guess I'm here because of him."

"Forgive me, but that doesn't seem like a very good reason. That kind of emotion is dangerous in combat," He told me.

"I beg to differ, Sir," I said, a bit too confidently. He looked taken aback. "Sir, I'm dedicated to the cause, passionate about it and I want to continue the work of a good soldier in any way I can. You need that kind of person in your regiment."

"Young Lady, don't tell me who I need or don't need in my own regiment," He said, warningly, but not overly nastily.

"Sorry," I said, remembering my place. "It's just…I'd work hard. What's more, I'm a qualified Army Flight Nurse, so I've had jump training."

"Is that so?" He said, looking like he was coming around a bit.

"Yes, Sir, that's extremely right," I smiled, pausing before I said my next sentence. "…plus I've heard that the regiment has a shortage of nurses and medics…which isn't good when you're returning to France."

"Watch what you're saying, Young Lady," He warned, again.

"Sorry, Sir," I said, looking at my lap and wondering if I'd blown in for myself.

He smiled lightly. "You know, normally if someone came in, talking to me in the way that you just did…I'd have them disciplined or worse. But truthfully…you may have won me round. However, I'm very sceptical about having women in my regiment, they have a tendency to be squeamish."

"Oh, Sir, I assure you that I've seen more internal organs and men being shot than you can imagine. I'm extremely hardened to it now…unfortunately," I assured him.

"Hmmm…well that's something. I can't put my finger on it, but you seem to have a sureness about you that's not to be confused for cockiness…and that's something I do like to see in a person," He said.

"So, you mean…" I started.

"I'll have to check with your regiment in France that what you've told me is correct but if it all checks out then…welcome to my regiment. You'll move out with us when we're next on the move," He said, standing up.

"Oh my…thank you so much, Sir. You won't regret this, I promise," I gushed.

"You just make sure and see that I don't," He smiled, opening the door for me. "Oh and Miss…sorry, what's your name?"

"Fiona, "I replied.

"Well, Fiona, that was your one favour you'll ever get from me," He smiled.

"Understood, Sir," I said, walking out into the corridor.

…………………………..

That night, after a loooooong nap to get rid of the hangover, which caught up with me again around lunchtime, I walked into the pub to look for Bill and the others.

"Hey, it's the silent singer," Bill smiled, as I walked up to their table.

"Evening, Bill," I smiled, as he kissed me on the cheek. "Evening fellas."

"You're just in time to watch me beat Buck at darts," Babe smiled.

"Excuse me, Private?" Buck warned, jokingly.

"Sorry, Sir," He apologised, but winked at me as the Lieutenant turned away. "Totally gonna beat him though."

As the beer flowed, the conversation got better. I was really starting to like these guys.

"Ok, Babe, since you threw a terrible shot there you have to tell everyone an embarrassing story about yourself," I giggled, sitting next to Bill and feeling the effects of the beer.

"Um…ok, let me think," He said, thinking. "Ok, you know the old lady who walks around Frinton Park with the shopping cart full of junk?"

"Yeah," Bill and I said in unison. "Crazy Cathy!"

"Yeah…that's my grandma," He said.

Bill and I looked at each other…and burst out laughing.

"Seriously, she keeps taking things from our house and puts them in that stupid cart…we don't even know where she got it!!" He said, laughing too.

Our conversation was interrupted by a man standing up and making an announcement, Carwood Lipton.

"We're heading back to France. Anyone who has not made out a will should make one. We will not be returning to England, boys," He said.

The mood got considerably down after this announcement, with the soldiers either looking down into their beer glasses or looking nervously around themselves. I too, was feeling a little strange. I was happy to be joining Easy Company, finally, but I hadn't expected to be parachuting again so soon.

"I think maybe I should head home, " I said, standing up.

"Uh, yeah…ok," Bill said. "I'll walk you home."

I hugged all of the boys in turn, wishing them luck.

"Bye Babe," I said, hugging him, feeling sorry for him as, being a replacement Private about to jump for the first time into occupied territory, he looked pretty damn nervous. "Best of luck, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks," He said, half smiling.

Bill led me out of the bar.

……………………

"So…do you still get nervous jumping?" I asked.

"Maybe a little," Bill replied. "But it's not so much the jump that's scary, it's what's on the other side of the landing that's scarier."

"I guess. But the fact that you're doing so much good for the people back home has to even that out, right?" I said, probably trying to reassure myself more than anyone.

"Definitely," He said. "Of that I'm sure"

I smiled, noticing he was slightly echoing James's viewpoints. "Well, here I am."

"The final goodbye, huh?" Bill said, a little sadly.

"I guess," I said, giving him a little smile.

"Pity you know, cos I think you and me coulda been something special," He said, cockily.

I burst out laughing. "Oh, is that right?"

"Definitely…and I may only have actually told you that because I know the chances of me ever seeing you again are slim to none," He said.

"Pity," I said, sniggering slightly because I knew the truth.

"It is indeed," He agreed.

"Well, Bill Guarnere. I wish you the best of luck," I said, going to shake his hand.

He grasped my hand in his and moved in closer to me...my heart started beating fast as I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he kissed me on the cheek, lingering a little.

"Goodnight, Fiona, it was very very nice to meet you," He smiled, still looking sad.

I watched him walk away…thinking about how I'd give him a shock of my own tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. sharp.


	4. Chapter 4 Missing Bull

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

…………

The next morning everyone had to report to assembly for a briefing on the mission, medical staff included. I sat at the back so as to escape any attention, and listened in on what would be my first and potentially my last mission in Easy Company. When Nixon told us that we'd be going to Holland, the first thing that came to my head was what James said that day in the café _"Hey, at least I'll get to see the world"_. How wrong he'd been, but I hoped I could at least see it for him. After Nixon had finished talking and dismissed everyone, it seemed to me that every man sat down for a few seconds longer before getting up. I don't know if they were simply processing the order they'd just been given or they were going through that "moment of realisation" that I myself was going through. Finding my legs, I stood up and walked to the medical tent to collect my supplies.

………………..

Armed with air sickness pills to dispense to the men, I made my way as ordered towards 2nd platoon, where I was informed my pack and parachute would be waiting for me. As I approached I wondered how recognisable I was with my helmet on.

"Ah, here's the new medic now. Finally, buddy, don't you know how late you…" Bill stopped. "…are?"

"Ah yes," said Lieutenant Winters, appearing behind me. "This is T-5 Medic Fiona Anderson, newly joined to Easy Company. A familiar face to some of you, I'm aware, but Colonel Sink assures me she is fully qualified and trained so please everyone give her a warm welcome."

"I've got airsickness pills for you all to take," I said, handing them around. Bill looked kind of in shock when I got to him, and didn't look me in the eye. "Ok, who has my pack?"

"Here it is," Babe said, coming up behind me., and helping me put it on. "Bit of a dark horse, aren't you?"

"Well, I didn't know I was transferred here until yesterday," I said. "Why? Not happy to see me?"

"Happy, of course," he smiled, and looked at Bill. "Just don't want to be seeing you get hurt is all…and that goes for all of us."

"Don't worry about me," I said, loudly enough for Bill to hear. "I'm a medic, not a soldier. Plus, like Lieutenant Winters said, I'm fully trained and I've had experience…I know what to expect."

"Didn't make your pack any light, Princess," A weasel-faced soldier jeered, walking past.

I turned round to face him, recognising him only vaguely from the pub. "I didn't ask anyone to."

"Cobb," Bill spoke up suddenly, apparently breaking out of his mini-trance. "Back to your Platoon."

I smiled at him, and he offered me a half one back as we boarded the plane.

…………

We'd been in the air for a few hours and I was only just starting to breath normally again. I'd flown and parachuted before, but I still had butterflies in my stomach every time I did it. It was the most extreme risk I'd ever known in my whole life, and I often needed to psych myself up for it. I noticed the other guys around me starting to talk to each other. It always seemed the it took a few hours for the conversation to start, and never before each men had come to terms with the jump they were about to make.

"You okay?" I said, turning to Bill who was sitting next to me.

"I'm fine, not too sure about him, thought," He said, motioning to Babe who was sitting opposite him, white as a sheet and staring at the ceiling of the plane.

"His first in combat?" I asked, and Bill nodded. "Poor guy."

"So, I take it this isn't your first, then?" Bill said, almost sarcastically.

"Uh, no…no it's not," I said, smiling. "Done it a few times."

"Kept all that to yourself, didn't you?" He said, looking at the floor.

"Like I told Babe, I didn't know I was joining Easy until yesterday, and I couldn't tell you last night because I didn't want you to be thinking about anything other than the mission. What's more, you didn't ask," I gave him a little smile.

"Fair Enough," he almost smiled back. "So what is your experience then?"

"I've been an army nurse in France since D-day. Luckily for this company, I also happen to be a qualified Army Flight Nurse," I told him.

"Since D-day?" He whistled, impressed. "More experience than I was betting on you having. So I'm guessing you've seen some horrible things…"

"More than I'd care to see," I nodded, confirming.

"Well, Fiona, this wasn't exactly hoping I'd see you again but I'll take it," He said. "Just be careful, I don't wanna have to watch your back as well as my own?"

"Oh please, I don't need you to watch my back, okay?" I laughed. "Besides, between the two of us it's me, as a medic, who'll most likely have to watch your back."

"Sassy," Bill laughed. "I like it. So, what made you want to be a nurse?"

"Well…," I started, but stopped. I didn't really feel like re-hashing old memories and getting emotional right before a jump. Luckily I was saved by Lieutenant Winters's cry of "GET READY! STAND UP!". "That's a story for another day, Bill…"

I stood up, shaking Babe's shoulder and bringing him back to earth, as it were. After the equipment check, the jumps started. Bill went to the door, offering me a look before he jumped. Soon enough, it was my turn. As I jumped, the world seemed to turn bright white as it always did when I was mid-fall…

…………..

Looking around the sea of orange streamers and Dutch flags, I was a little taken aback. I hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction for when we stormed into Eindhoven but it seemed that every resident was out, cheering and dancing in the streets. I walked through, dazed, and adhering to the cries of "Keep Moving!" that were continually drumming through my ears.

"Hey, Fiona! Get over here for this photo!" Babe interrupted my thoughts, yanking me by the arm. "Cheeeeeese!"

…………………..

The next day it was all systems go from 6 a.m., and I found myself on the back of a moving tank, kitted out with medical gear. I was distracted from re-arranging my straps more comfortably by the sight of a shaven-headed girl, cradling a baby. Leaning forward, I whispered to George Luz "Why is her head shaven?"

"Her head was shaved because she slept with one of the Germans," he told me, sadly.

"Oh," I said, shocked. I caught her eye, and in doing so saw a look of desolation on her face. I saw one of the new recruits hand down a ration packet to her, and smiled to myself at his kindness.

Pulling me away from all of this was the sound of gunshots up ahead. Looking up, I saw that one of our lieutenants had just taken a hit. Instinctively, I hopped off to run and help him, but was pulled down into a side ditch by Bill.

"Someone else will help him, don't need to go making yourself a target," he said, coarsely.

Sneaking along the ditch with the others, I glanced up to see that that replacement medic had been shot down. Luck and chance were a fine thing here in the balance of life and death, and I felt terrible for feeling slightly relieved that Bill had stopped me.

Running in time with the soldiers, I tried to patch up as many as I could, my experience helping me differentiate between the ones who could be saved and who couldn't, and the time limit and danger level making me leave those who couldn't lying there without a second thought. My eyes fell upon a soldier with arterial blood spilling out like a fountain. Hurriedly, I knelt down beside him, plugging one finger into the artery whilst fumbling in my bag for a bandage with the other. Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed me, pushing me back and shouting "Fall Back!".

"Bill, I need to help that-", I started, but he yanked me away.

"Fall Back!" He shouted, pulling me harder.

"Damn it, Bill! Stop trying to help me!" I cried, my anger spilling out, yanking myself out of his grasp and running on, not admitting to myself that I probably wouldn't have been able to save the guy anyway.

Running back along the ditch, I was stopped by the sight of Lieutenant Compton lying down, shot, shaking.

"Lieutenant Compton? Where does it hurt?" I cried.

"My…my ass," he choked out.

Rolling him over gently, I counted at least four holes. _Shit._ "Ok, Buck, it's gone all the way through!". I tried using his nickname amongst the guys to calm him down.

"Fiona, get out of here! Leave me for the Germans, it's okay," he said, shakily.

"No way! BILL, get over here!" I shouted out.

"What's up?" He asked, running over. "Shit, Buck!"

"I need you to get me some kind of stretcher, okay? A plank, a door…anything would do!" I said, pleadingly looking into his eyes. Turning, he shouted Donald Malarkey over to help before running off, leaving me soothingly stroking Buck's arm to keep him calm.

….

"One bullet, four holes," Bill whistled as we loaded Buck onto the back of the van.

"Yeah," I gave a little smile. "He's a trooper! He should be fine. Hey Bill, listen, I'm sorry I shouted at you back there…"

"Don't even worry about it," He said, but was slightly distracted when Johnny Martin walked by. "Hey, Johnny. We know where the Bull is? Where is he?"

"Don't know," Johnny said, looking down dejectedly.

I noticed the fear on their faces.

…………

That night, Bull Randleman was still missing, and the feeling was tense amongst the men. He was an influential member of the Company, and his presence was greatly missed. I noticed it most in two of the new recruits in his squad, Les Hashey and Tony Garcia, who were sitting on the grass, dumbstruck.

"Hey fellas, you okay?" I asked, sitting down with them to try and cheer them up.

"I never fired a single shot the whole time," Les said, fiddling around with his gun.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, you couldn't help what happened to Bull. He'll show up, okay?" I said, not really sure if I believed it but knowing it was important for them to believe it.

"No news?" Bill said, appearing behind me. We shook our heads and he sighed. "Listen, if there aint no body then there aint nobody fuckin' dead, understand me? I'm gonna go look for him."

"No, it's okay. I'll go," said Les, standing up.

"I'll go too," Tony agreed, standing up to join him.

"Ok, be sure and bring him back," Bill said to them.

"Good luck," I called after them.

After they left there were a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Wanna sit?" I asked Bill, motioning to the empty space opposite me. He sat down. "You're really worried about him aren't you?"

"Yeah, he's one of my best…," he stopped, and looked at the ground.

"He'll be fine," I reassured him, reaching over and putting my hand over his, feeling his tense up as I did.

"So, you never finished telling me on the plane the other day why you chose to become a nurse?" He asked, trying to appear manly.

"Oh, you don't wanna hear about that now," I said, laughing it off, not really sure if I felt like dragging up my past memories after the day I'd had.

"No, I would. Honestly, I could use the distraction," he said, smiling weakly.

"Well, honestly…it's all to do with Easy Company, more or less," I began, relenting. "My best friend in South Philly was a guy called Thomas Warren. James."

"Name sounds kinda familiar," Bill mused.

"Should do, he was a paratrooper with Easy. Died in Normandy," I said, my voice cracking at the last part.

"Poor guy, yeah I think I remember him" Bill said, sympathetically.

"Yeah, we were really really close. Not in that way, but he was my best friend in the whole world. I didn't want him to become a paratrooper, but he insisted. When his mother got the telegram I was devastated. I didn't know what to do with myself," I explained.

"So that's why you decided to become a nurse?" He asked.

"Yes, well sort of. I was trying to take the time to come to terms with it. One night a few days after, one of my other friends dragged me out to the movies to try and cheer me up. Well before the show they showed a news bulletin about the war effort, and showing footage of all the dead and dying soldiers," I said, almost angrily. "Well, while that was going on I noticed a row of girls in front of me. They weren't even paying attention to it. They were just talking away about make-up and hair and what they were doing that weekend. Then I looked around me and realised that no one was paying attention. It really got to me. It was like nobody cared about the sacrifices you guys were making to be out here…they sacrifice James made."

"Hey, come here," Bill said, scooting closer and wiping away the tear that had fallen down my cheek. "You don't have to tell me anymore if it's too hard."

"No, it's fine," I smiled. "I guess it's good to talk it out. Anyway, I just felt I had to get away from all those assholes who didn't even care. Being around them was making me feel so far away from James. So I decided to go where I'd feel close to him, and where I knew that good work was being done by people who actually give a crap…you guys. So, I decided there and then that I wanted to join Easy to…well…sort of take James's place. Finish it for him."

"Wow," Bill breathed. "Well, I think that's very noble of you…and if I may say it's the kind of sentiment and courage I've never seen from a dame my whole life. You're strong, kid. So strong to be doing this, and all for your friend."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"And…if it's worth anyway, I'm sorry for always trying to save you," He laughed slightly. "I see now that you don't even need my help, you've got it all sorted."

"Thank you again," I laughed. "Sorry again for snapping at you today, I was just bummed that I couldn't save that guy and…"

"No apology necessary," Bill said, smiling at me.

We spoke into the night about everything and anything: places we hung out in in Philly; friends we had in common; what the best food was in the local diners etc. I think by that point we were equally trying to help each other from thinking of the pain we were feeling, Bill for Bull and myself for James.

…………

The next thing I knew, it was morning. I must have fallen asleep at some point during the conversation. Rubbing my eyes, I realised someone had covered me with a blanket and put my pack under my head as a pillow. Looking around, I stood up to investigate the source of the shouting that had woken me.

"BULL!" Johnny Martin shouted.

I looked over, excitedly. It was, in fact, Bull walking over, looking a little worse for wear but generally safe and okay.

I noticed nearby Bill was sleeping soundly. I walked over to him, crouched beside him and gently shook him awake.

"Wha-?" He asked, sleepily.

I simply pointed over to Bull.

"Bull!" He jumped up excitedly, running towards his friend. "I don't know whether to slap ya, kiss ya or salute ya!"

I looked over, smiling. There was already quite a crowd around them. I started to walk over and then stopped…no, I'd let them have their moment. I didn't really feel like part of the unit yet, but hoped that that would come in time. Quietly, I gathered my things together, happy to have survived my first, albeit unsuccessful, mission out here in Europe and wondered what the war would next have in store for me.


	5. Chapter 5 Supplies and Alcohol

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Alone in an abandoned kitchen that was temporarily doubling as our aid station, I looked at the vast number of boxes I had to unpack compared to the amount of shelving available. I was no math whiz and even I could see this wasn't going to work. A boxful of plasma in one hand, the other holding onto a ladder, I began my ascent to the top shelf. Halfway there I realised the ladder was rickety and on the verge of breaking. As the wood began to separate I realised I had to grab the shelves- it was either me or the morphine. Instinct won out, and the box went flying. The next few seconds went by almost as in slow-motion. Bill appeared suddenly in the doorway and, seeing the flying box, leapt forward and, both arms out, safely captured it.

"Oh, my…talk about nice timing," I said.

"Oh, you know, it's no big deal," He laughed, standing up and putting the box on the table. He added sarcastically. "I'm always lookin for opportunities to test my reflexes, y'know. Plus you know, like to do my bit for the US military and all of the cute medical nurses within it."

"Charmer," I rolled my eyes, and then remembered I was still suspended off of the ground. "Say, couldn't help me down, could ya?"

"Certainly can," he laughed, effortlessly reaching for my waist and positioning me on my feet. "So what did I actually save in that box there?"

"Oh, the lives of about 30 soldiers at some point in this war. Not to mention my conscience," I laughed. "Otherwise known as Plasma."

He chuckled. "I'm thinkin, then, that maybe they made a mistake in choosing you to protect the lives of US soldiers."

"Shut up," I laughed, punching him lightly in the arm. "So, what can I do for you anyway, Sergeant? Not that I'm not grateful you showed up when you did."

"Oh, I'm just here for a morphine fix. I didn't even know you'd be here," He said, deadpan. "…and I can't continue that joke because the look on your face is just too tragic."

"Damn right," I said, smiling. "Who know Wild Bill was such a joker?"

"Someone's been telling you stories about me, huh?" He said, raising his eyebrows. "Anyway, I just came by to say hi and see how you're settling in. I'm on my rest from the line and I thought it would be best to come see you when I've had a shower and am clean. Doc Roe told me I could find you here."

"Considerate," I winked at him. "How are things out there? Not that I'd know."

"Yeah, I noticed they haven't had you out there as far as possible. Don't take it personally, I think Sink has enough of a bad conscience about sending the men out to their deaths without sending a woman, too," He sympathised.

"Yeah, well I wish he'd get over it. They need me out there. The medics are tired, overworked and having another person on the rotation would give them more rest time," I said, sadly.

"In time. They'll get you out there," He reassured me.

"So, Sergeant Guarnere…what do you want to do with your day off?" I asked.

"Well, I was gonna get drunk, hit the brothels and cause some general hell, buuuuut from the sight of all these boxes, I think I'll settle for helping a charming nurse unpack," He smiled at me.

"Oh don't do me any favours," I laughed, sarcastically. I motioned to the larger boxes in the back. "Ok, then. I'll put you to work."

………………….

Three hours later we were sitting with our shoes off on makeshift chairs made from flat-packed cardboard boxes.

"You know, I just had a thought," Bill mused. "What the hell was the point of all that when we're gonna have to move out soon and you'll have to pack it all up again."

"That's a good point soldier," I teased. "I guess maybe it's so you don't have to be rooting around boxes next time a wounded soldier comes in on the verge of death."

"Shaddup," He laughed. "You got a lot of sass, y'know? You don't often see that in a girl. Were you raised by guys?"

"Actually, more or less," I laughed. "Three brothers. Plus my best friend was James. I don't know, I've always found it easier to get on with guys than girls. Not in that way, obviously, but just in general conversation. Plus guys just like more things I do, like football."

"You like football?" He asked, surprised.

"Hell yeah," I cried. "My father reared my brothers and I to be Philly Eagle fans! Wow, I remember so many times he would take us to the Baker Bowl to watch them play. That's the first thing I'm gonna do when I get home again."

"Maybe I'll go with you," He said, a little suggestively.

A little lost for words, I just smiled. "So, you said something about a drink earlier. Offer still stand?"

"Yes, Madame," He laughed. "In fact, I have a bottle of whiskey hidden away."

"Excellent, Sir," I replied, standing up and offering him a hand. "I'm Scottish. We love whiskey."

"It's VAT 69," he told me, proudly.

"Wow, how'd you get that?"

"Won it in a game of craps against the fellas. One of them swiped it from Nixon's case. Apparently he had like 10 of them in there," He told me, as we walked out the room. He suddenly stopped. "But you don't know nothing about nothing, kapisch?"

……………………….

"Bill, I am cutting you off," I said, firmly.

"Pffft, you're worse than me," He laughed, holding on tighter to the bottle.

"Am not," I laughed. "Besides, we really shouldn't be drinking. We have to work in the morning."

"You're telling me! I'm back on the line tomorrow!" He sighed.

"That's a shame," I said, sobering slightly but not enough to stop me from uttering the next words. "I'll miss you."

"Oh really?" He beamed. "That so?"

I looked down, blushing. "Maybe."

"Why is that?" He probed.

"You're a nice guy, funny and clever. You care about me, too. I know I shouted at you for looking out for me but I really do find it sweet," I admitted.

"Oh yeah?" He teased. "Know what I think? I think you might have a crush on me."

"Get over yourself," I laughed, reaching forward to slap him on the shoulder, catching his eyes accidentally and unintentionally locking mine with his. My stomach suddenly filled with butterflies.

"Well anyway," He said, almost nervously. "You were right about one thing. I do care about you."

"You do?" I breathed, still locked in eye contact with him.

"Yes," He replied, slowly bringing his hand up to touch my face. "I care about you a lot. I can't explain it but…"

He leaned in closer to me. Electricity charged through my body as I felt the heat coming from his face as his lips moved towards mine. We were so close…and then the next thing I remember is blacking out.

…………….

Coming to, I sleepily opened one eye to realise that I was being carried somewhere. At that point I didn't realise who was carrying me, funnily enough it didn't occur to me to look up. I nuzzled into their shoulder and from the smell I knew instantly it was Bill. It was a comforting manly smell, mixed with that generic army soap from his recent shower. Seconds later, I felt myself being placed onto my bed. Being the only girl meant I got a box room with a single bed to myself. I felt him stroke my face after he placed me down and heard him whisper "Sweet dreams". As he left, I reached for his hand and held it.

"Bill?" I whispered, not opening my eyes and succumbing to the warmth of the covers.

"Yeah?"

"Come back and visit me again soon, promise?"

"You got yourself a deal, lady," He chuckled.

Then he was gone, and I let my drunken stupor carry me into a deep sleep, strong enough to block out the sound of rapid gunfire coming from beyond the tiny window.


	6. Chapter 6Medical Pressure and Accidents

Chapter 6- Medical Pressure and accidents

Chapter 6- Medical Pressure and accidents

"One, two, three, four…," I said aloud, ticking off the bottles I counted. Taking inventory was never fun but, with all the other medics doing rotations on the line, I felt I should always do it, to at least give them less work to do off it.

"You know, I hate to make assumptions about a nurse's medical knowledge," Bill said, appearing from round the corner. "But I don't know if you know that talking to yourself is considered a sign of madness."

Slightly taken aback by his sudden appearance, I managed to retort. "Then what does it say about you if you keep coming back to see me, this so-called "Mad Person"."

"That I live on the edge," he laughed.

"So I see they let you off the line again," I remarked.

"Yeah, long time coming," he sighed. "I've been living in wet boots for the last four days. All this damn rain."

"Hey, you need to be careful with wet feet," I said, worriedly/warningly. "You can't serve your country if your feet are all swollen and gangrenous!"

"Didn't know you cared so much," he smiled. "So anyway, I was wondering if my favourite nurse wanted to join me for some craps this evening?"

"Awww, that's so sweet," I smiled, adding sarcastically. "Well, Roe's right in there you can ask him yourself. Word to the wise, though, I don't think he likes being called a Nurse."

"Funny lady," he rolled his eyes. "So whaddya say?"

"Uh…sure," I smiled, bashfully. "What time?"

"Say around 7? I have an assignment to do first and then I'm all yours," he smiled.

"Oh…ok I'll see you later, then," I smiled as he walked away. I watched him until he was out of sight, smiling like a big dopey dog. _Stop It,_ I warned myself. _You're here to do a job!_ This was no time to be getting involved with someone, no matter what I was feeling. I made a mental note to keep myself in check.

Turning back to the medicine shelves, I was distracted by the dulcet Cajun tones of Eugene Roe coming from the next room. I peeked my head round to see him bandaging up a soldier's foot. Casually, I walked in to see if I could help.

"Morning, Fiona," Roe greeted me.

"Hello," I smiled. "What happened here?"

"Well, Sonny here…," He began.

"I tripped over a branch, fell hard and twisted my foot all the way til it broke," the soldier said, almost ashamedly.

"Goodness, that must have been some fall," I said, almost admiring the shade of purple bruises that he had on his foot. "At least you get away from the action for a while to heal."

"Means nothing," The soldier spat. "Don't even get a purple heart or nothing!"

"We're all done here," Eugene said abruptly and rather coldly, standing up and walking into the room.

"What'd I say?" The soldier asked me.

"Just take it easy, Soldier," I said, patting him on the shoulder.

………………..

Walking back into the other room, I found Eugene with both hands on a worktop counter, staring deeply into it as though trying to find some kind of flaw in the snow-white ceramic. I walked up behind him, sensing his agitation but not really knowing how to play it because we weren't overly close yet. I gently put one hand on his shoulder.

"Eugene," I asked, pensively. "Are you okay?"

"What?" He asked surprised, turning round and realising I was in the room. "Oh, I'm fine."

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked.

"No," He said, quite firmly.

"OK," I said, deciding to give him his space and not push. I made my way towards the door.

"It's just…," He said all of a sudden. Maybe he did want to talk.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to face him again.

"Soldiers like that just annoy me," He said, almost struggling to get the words out. "I mean, I bet that soldier didn't even notice that the man in the bed next to him was missing both arms and a chunk from his head! But noo, for that soldier it's all about medals and honour…that's what he's here for."

"Well," I began. "Some soldiers like him just think that they're doing such a good job for their country that they deserve medals for falling over and stupid things like that. It's not right, of course. It's totally unjustified."

"This is what I'm saying," Eugene continued. "It shouldn't be about that. Dya think the guy next to him is thinking about the medals. No, he aint. He's just thinking about surviving and prayin' he's gonna make it through the night."

At this point, I could see tears welling up in Eugene's eyes, and started to worry about him. This was about more than that stupid soldier next door. "You know, Eugene, if you ever need to talk…"

"Thanks," He smiled, weakly.

"I mean, we're doing the same job. So I understand what you're feeling."

"I appreciate that," He said, trying to compose himself.

We were then interrupted by someone coming in shouting "MEDIC!".

"I'll take this," Eugene said, grabbing his kit bag. "Need to get out of here for a while."

Watching them run off, I wondered what had happened and who was hurt as I went back in to see the soldier who had just shouted out into the air that he was in a lot of pain and that we'd better give him more morphine.

…………………

About an hour later, I was sitting at a makeshift desk finishing off and signing the inventory songs. I'd kicked my shoes off and was humming a Billie Holiday song when I heard the door open and looked up to see that Eugene had come back.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Hi," He returned it. "Listen, sorry to get so emotional on you earlier…."

"Don't even worry about it," I smiled. "Anytime you need to talk I'm here. So far I'm impartial on my thoughts on the sights on the front line out here as Sink wont let me anywhere near it. So if it's level-headed advice you're after, I'm your girl."

"Thanks again," He smiled, setting his bag on the table.

"So, what was the emergency? Who got hit?" I asked.

"Oh, Sergeant Guarnere was in a motorcycle accident," He told me.

Alarm bells started blaring in my head. "WHAT?"

"Yeah, he was turning the corner and the road was a little wet and the bike slipped and landed on his leg. Ambulance is taking him away now to the local hospital," Eugene explained.

I didn't need to hear anymore. Pulling my shoes on, I ran for the door without even bothering to grab a coat. I ran as fast as my legs could take me to the ambulance bay. The rain was pounding and my hair was sticking to my face as it bounced up and down but I didn't care. As soon as I'd heard he was hurt my heart had jumped in my stomach and was making my legs carry me this fast. Running along, I bumped into Bull and Luz, apologising hurriedly as I sped past them.

When I got to the ambulance bay, I was just in time…to see it taking off down the hilly road. I stood there, doubled over with my hands on my knees, gasping for air as I watched the Ambulance, along with Bill Guarnere, disappear out of sight.

………………………

When I arrived back at the aid station, I was soaked through.

"I'm sorry," Eugene said, coming up with a blanket to put round my shoulders. "I didn't know you two were friends."

"It's okay," I mumbled.

"Don't worry though," He soothed. "He's going to be absolutely fine. Leg will take a few weeks to heal is all."

At this moment Babe burst into the aid station, equally as soaked as I was. "Bill had an accident?!"


	7. Chapter 7 Mental Trauma

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Several evenings later I was in my usual post, tending the men who were waiting to go to the local hospital but weren't so critically injured that they had to be taken right away. Every evening was the same, consisting of check all bandages and dressing, making sure the men were comfortable and trying to settle them down to sleep at night. It was a routine I'd become so used to doing, using the usual questions on them as I did so so as to keep them as calm as possible and take their thoughts away from their injuries as best as I could. Since Bill's accident I'd been unable to concentrate and I spent all my time thinking about him . I tried so hard not to, annoyed that I could let matters of the heart interfere with my work at such an important time. To try and ease my head, I tried to tell myself that I was only concerned that a "good friend" was injured and in hospital. But I was only kidding myself. It actually hurt me that he was hurting, alone and away in one of those hospitals. With first-hand experience working in one of them in France, I knew they were unpleasant places to be. Surrounded by so much blood and death and the sounds of screams of "mercy!", "It hurts!" and "Mommy!" in the air truly messes around with your head, and you leave an entirely changed person. I hoped that Bill was strong though, strong enough that his time there wouldn't crush his wildfire personality and dampen his generally high-spirited nature.

Closing the door behind me as I left, I walked towards the supply area to get my coat. It'd been a long day and I needed some sleep. Yawning as I entered, I jumped slightly at the sight of Babe standing by the door.

"Sorry," He said. "I didn't mean to scare ya."

"No, it's okay," I smiled. "I'm a little on edge, anyway."

"I can imagine," He sympathised.

"So, are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "What brings you here?"

"I was just lookin for the Doc or yourself," He told me. "Wanted to find out if there was any news on Bill."

"Yeah, Doc Roe heard today that he's doing okay. Leg's in pain but he'll live," I gave a half-smile.

"Good," He said, relieved. "At least now I can give him a hard time about it in person when he gets back."

I laughed. "Tut tut. Don't be too hard on him, he is your friend, after all."

"Come on, Fi, guy gets taken out by a motorcycle instead of Jerry? I feel that mockery is necessary," He said, matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes as I put my coat on. "Well, I'm afraid I need some sleep, Private."

"Oh, okay. I'll walk you to your barracks," He said, standing up and then stumbling forward slightly.

"Woah. Are you ok?" I asked, steadying him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," He said, rubbing his temples. "I just haven't gotten a lot of sleep. I was worried about Bill and couldn't sleep, so I did a shift all night on the line."

"Soldiers need rest where possible. For energy," I said sternly, going into Nurse-mode. "Sorry, had to give you the lecture. Here, sit down."

"Thanks," He said as I propped him onto a nearby wooden chair.

"No problem," I said, taking off my coat again and, reaching into a nearby box and removing a standard ration candy bar.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Chocolate," I said, breaking off a bit and handing it to him. "Hopefully it'll give you a little pick-me-up. Eat."

"You could be the best nurse ever," He laughed, chewing. "You let me rest and eat candy. The nurses in Basic Training weren't so kind nor as easy on the eye."

"I like to think I give a well-rounded service," I said, laughing and winking. I stopped, horrified. "That didn't come out how I meant it to in my head."

"No worries," He said, taking another piece of chocolate that I handed him.

"So you miss Philly?" I asked.

"Every day," He smiled, almost sadly. "It's strange. I can't believe that I could grow up in a place that everyday I regarded as a shit-hole, yet now that I'm thousands of miles away from it I'd give my left nut to get back there."

"I hear ya," I nodded along. "So, did you know Bill from Philly or…?"

"Nah, we met in England. Not too long before you joined us, actually," He told me. The he joked "I was a replacement into Easy. Sadly, of course, this means I'm not a Taccoa Guy. I hope this doesn't lower your opinion of me as one of the toughest and most badass soldiers in Easy."

I laughed. "Hey, who am I to talk? From one non-Taccoa to another, I think you're doing okay here."

"Much appreciated," He laughed.

"So you never bumped into him at all in Philly? Don't you have friends in common?" I asked.

"Nah, well he's from 17th so I never saw him at all or heard of him. When we started talking here, though, we realised that we know people in common. Like this guy who work in "Johnson's Groceries", Johnny Waylon," He replied.

"Johnny Waylon from 16th?" I asked, and he nodded. "My brother knew him. They were in the same little league team in school."

"Small world, huh?" Babe smiled.

"Yep. Poor Bill in the hospital, huh? Does he have a lot of family in Philly?" I asked.

"Hmm, I dunno. We never really talked about…," He started, then stopped. "You ask a lot of questions about Bill, Fi. Are you sweet on him or something?"

I felt my cheeks flush red. "No! No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I'm a nurse, it's my job to know about my patients."

"Well, he aint your patient now," Babe said, cockily." What's more, your face now looks like a tomato."

"Don't get fresh," I mock-scolded, cramming another piece of chocolate into his mouth to shut him up.

Suddenly we were interrupted by Doc Roecoming in from the line, looking exhausted. Luckily his spiritis didn't seem _too_ low as he joked around. "Not letting the soldiers bribe chocolate out of you are you, Nurse?"

"Hmm, I dunno," I played dumb. "He said he hadn't slept and had no energy but now I' m wondering if he was just faking for the candy."

Doc Roe smiled, amused. He set down his pack on the table and went to take a seat to rest his weary legs. Suddenly we were interrupted again by the arrival of Lieutenant Welsh bursting in, red in the face.

"Doc, come quick! It's Moose! He's been shot!" Lt. Welsh shouted.

"Shit!" Cried Doc Roe, reaching for the pack he'd just discarded onto the table and making for the door. "Fiona, come on!"

Instantly I was on my feet and grabbing for my own supply bag.

"Do you need any help?" Babe asked, worried.

"No I've got everything I need…I hope. Now listen to me, I want you to get straight to your barracks and get some sleep. I don't want another injured soldier to take care of. That's an order, Private," I said, giving him a nanosecond of a cheeky smile after pulling rank on him. Then I set off running after Doc Roe.

…………………………….

Roe and I ran behind Lt. Welsh, who led us all the way to a disbanded railway track near the perimeter of our camp. Lying in the middle of the tracks was a bloody, shaking and pale Lieutenant Moose Heyliger. Winters was standing at his side along with a young, scared looking Private, whom I took to be the shooter. Roe and I immediately ran to his side. In the distance we heard the sound of a van pulling up near us, a van to take the Lieutenant to the aid station. It was tiny. There would only be space for Moose and Eugene.

"Did you give him any morphine?" Roe asked as we moved to hoist him onto the stretcher.

"Uh yeah. Two syrettes, maybe three," Welsh said. "We gave them to him before we came for you."

"WHAT?!" Roe and I said in shocked unison.

"You gave him three syrettes?" I asked, shocked.

"I…I think it was two," Welsh said, flustered.

"Jesus Christ were you trying to kill him?" Roe exploded with anger, setting down the stretcher and almost squaring up to Welsh and Winters. "You don't think it might be important to let me know how much medication the man has had, huh? Cos I don't see one syrette on the man's jacket!"

"Eugene…," I said, quietly, staring into his eyes.

"Sorry, Doc," Welsh aplogised as we loaded Moose into the van. "He was in a lot of pain and we didn't know what to do."

"Yeah well you oughta!" Roe exploded again, as he hopped into the van. "You are grown-ups. You are grown-ups. You oughta know!"

"Okay, Eugene, calm down. Lieutenant Welsh just didn't know. Let's just focus on getting Lieutenant Heyliger better, okay?" I said, looking into Eugene's eyes soothingly to try and calm him down.

Roe looked at the ground, but when he looked back up his eyes were still full of seething anger. "Well, it's a good thing he's a big man. Maybe he stands a chance…maybe. Let's move it!"

The van started up and Winters shut the door. The three of us watched it drive off, Roe's head bobbing up and down as he attended to Moose. Lieutenant Welsh walked off straight away, visibly upset.

"Lieutenant Welsh," I called, running to catch up with him. "Sir, please don't worry. Eugene's just upset."

"I know," He replied, looking at the ground. "But I was wrong."

"Maybe," I said. "But you thought you were doing the right thing. More often than not it's better to act than to not act. Moose'll come through this and thank you for it."

"I hope so. Thanks, Fiona," Welsh smiled slightly, then walked off.

I turned to run back to the aid station, coming face-to-face with Winters.

"You really think he'll be okay?" Winters asked, showing a rare moment of panic and unsettledness.

"Hopefully, if we got him soon enough," I told him. "He's a strong man, a fighter."

"Thank you, Nurse," He smiled, graciously. "Thank you also for talking to Lieutenant Welsh. It's no good having disheartened Lieutenants in my company."

"No problem, Sir. Goodnight," I saluted him, turning to make my way to the aid station.

"Oh and Nurse?" Winters called out. "Take care of him, will you?"

"We will, Sir. Lieutenant Heyliger is in good hands, don't you worry," I promised.

"I was talking about Roe."

……………..

Running furiously, I'd managed to make it to the aid station a mere five minutes behind Eugene and the van. Together, we'd managed to locate all sources of bleeding and bandage them up, stopping as much of it as possible. We'd worked speedily and efficiently. Luckily (if anything), the morphine had at least knocked him out almost cold so he'd remained still throughout. We'd done as best as we could. He'd still need to get to the local hospital to have the bullets removed by a surgeon and patched up properly. As a result, I found myself waiting outside for the nearby ambulance. When I saw it pulling up, I went inside to alert Eugene.

Poking my head around the door, I saw Roe sitting at Moose's bedside, holding his hand. His dulcet Cajun tones were whispering out a prayer. I studied Roe's face. From the look of his furrowed brow it became obvious the toll being a medic was taking on this sensitive, caring man. My heart went out to him. It has always been my opinion that medics and nurses had the tougher job during the war. Soldiers are trained to kill on demand and many have since told me that they often managed to block out most or all thoughts whilst doing it, operating simply as machines rather than human beings. Medics and nurses couldn't do that. Being on the flip side of the injury (tending to rather than causing) and actually coming face-to-face with the wounded is a heartbreaking ordeal every single time. During the war, a Medic and/or Nurse may have seen up to 100 patients a day, but we would retain the image of every charred face, every fractured limb gaping hole blown into torsos. These things we'd remember not through choice, but because we simply couldn't erase the images from our minds. Even at the young age I was then, I knew that the horrors Eugene Roe, myself and several thousand more of us faced everyday would haunt us well into our golden years.

"I'm…cold," Moose whispered, quietly.

"It's okay, Lieutenant," Roe said, stroking his forehead to comfort him. "You're going to the hospital. They'll take care of you there. Don't be scared, you won't be alone there. You see, Bill's there. Sergeant Guarnere. Lieutenant Compton's there as well. Buck. Most importantly, though, God is with you. Always."

I cleared my throat to announce my presence. "Eugene, the ambulance is here."

……………………….

After waving off the ambulance, I walked back inside to find Doc Roe sitting almost helplessly, slumped in the same chair beside the bed in which Moose had lain. He didn't even look up as I came in.

I crouched in front of him. "Eugene? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," He tried to say assertively, failing. "More importantly, Moose is fine. He will be fine."

"That's good," I said, positively.

"I guess…," He started. "I guess I should apologise to Lieutenant Welsh and Captain Winters."

"It's okay, Eugene. They understand," I said, reassuringly. "It was a tense situation and…"

"But, truthfully I don't think I should apologise! How could two commissioned officers believe that it would be okay to use morphine so freely when there is such a shortage. It's a complete lack of common sense!" He interrupted me.

"I know, you're right," I agreed with him. "But they just weren't thinking. They were panicked about their friend and fellow soldier. People react badly when they're in such shock."

"I know, but when I think about it…it just makes my blood absolutely boil and…and…," He said, getting really worked up.

"Eugene, calm down," I said, worriedly. I put my hand to his forehead. "You don't look well, and your forehead is warm. You need to sleep. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, defeated. " I guess I'll head to the barracks."

"No, no, no," I said, leading him to a nearby bed with fresh sheets. "Lie down here. Get some sleep."

I got him settled under the covers and stroked his hand until he fell into a deep yet troubled slumber. I blew out the candle on the bedside table and walked out, worrying whether he would make it through the war mentally unscathed.

…………

Nearing total exhaustion, I walked into the office to get my coat, as had been my plan several hours previously. I was shocked to find Babe in the same chair I'd left him in, sleeping soundly with his head against the desk. Smiling slightly, I lifted his head to put a blanket under his head to cushion it. Groggily he opened his eyes. "F-Fiona?"

"Yes, it's me," I told him. "You fell asleep."

"Shit," He said, rubbing his eyes. "I just wanted to wait and make sure you were okay…I mean, that everything with Moose was okay. Is it?"

"He's in bad shape, but he's off to the hospital and he should be okay," I told him.

"That's a relief," He said.

"Yeah. So, Private, I guess at least you got some sleep," I smiled.

"Yeah, not comfy…but I did sleep," He laughed. "Speaking of, you look like you could use some kip yourself."

"Yeah," I admitted, my shoulder slugging towards the ground. "I'm so tired…I may actually cry."

"To the barracks with you, then," He said, reaching for my coat and holding it out for me to slip my arms into.

"I'm still worried about you, though," I said to him. "There are empty beds here if you just want to sleep some more here?"

"No, it's alright. I'll walk back to the barracks with you. It's late. Don't want you walkin' there alone," He replied, holding the front door open for me.

"Thanks," I smiled as we started down the path. "I really do think Moose will be okay. Plus, at least he won't be alone in the hospital. Buck's there, and so is Bill."

"Again with talking about Bill," Babe joked (I think). "Are you really sure you're not sweet on him?"


	8. Chapter 8 Poker Games and Reunions

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

NOTE- when I talk about a Poker game later in the chapter, I know in the show it was originally "Craps" they played. I wikipedia-ed the rules to craps so that I could try and work it into the chapter but I totally couldn't make any sense of the game at all. So I decided to use poker instead. Stick to what you know haha!

…………….

Many weeks later, I found myself back in France with Easy. This time in Mourmelon-le-Grande in the North-east French _department_ of Marne. I was back in the country where my World War II journey had begun, and it was very strange. Time had crawled by and the month of November had come and gone and we found ourselves in December, with the weather starting to turn very bitter on us. Bill and Buck were still in the hospital, and it was evident that their presences were greatly missed amongst the men, and myself as well. Other than the odd status report, I'd received no correspondence from Bill and, it saddened me to say, I almost felt a little hurt (although I felt I had no right to feel this way).

The feeling amongst the men was of general unrest and slight depression. By this point it had become all too clear that no one was making it home in time for Christmas, and the fact that there was nothing to do here made the situation so much worse. Some of the regiment big-wigs had departed on holidays. General McAuliffe had returned to Washington, Strayer was in London, Winters in Paris and the good Colonel himself had gone to the nearby town of Reims to see Marlene Dietrich in one of her USO shows. The soldiers, therefore, were stuck here performing mindless army drills and doing basic training everyday. As for us medics, we found ourselves being forced to go over everything we'd learned, facing daily quizzes from the more-qualified and higher-commissioned surgeons and official doctors. There was also a lot of mind-numbing stock-taking for us to do daily, with shipments of bandages and medicines coming to the army base. So, on December 10, I found myself surrounded by boxes and a clipboard…as usual.

"Mail Call!" Private Vest interrupted my thoughts, charging in with the daily mail.

"I have mail?" I asked, happily. "Nice!"

"Just a letter," He said, handing it to me and then reaching for his back pocket. "Oh and I was s'posed to give this to you too."

"What is it?" I said, reaching for the folded notepaper he handed me.

"I just deliver," He joked, winking at me as he left. "Good day, Miss."

Opening the paper, I read: "Poker game tonight. Half hour after dinner, Behind Main Hall. Bring all the money you can afford to lose. Knock twice. Regards, Mick."

I smiled to myself, wondering which Irish soldier "Mick" referred to. Babe or Malarkey, probably. They had written a false name as some of the higher-up officers had expressed a dislike over the gambling amongst the lower-ranked men, claiming that it took away their focus from the task at hand: winning the war. Still, I was excited at the prospect of a game of poker. It was a good source of entertainment, and a chance to unwind with the guys and get to know them a little better. The mere fact that they'd invited me made me happy and made me feel like I was becoming more and more accepted as the only female within their regiment.

……….

That evening, on time, I entered the small room behind the Main dining hall. It was pretty deserted after evening meal. Knocking on the door twice as instructed, I waited patiently for someone to answer.

"Good Evening, Miss," Malarkey said, opening the door for me. "See you got my note?"

"That I did," I smiled going in and waving to Babe and Toye who were already seated around the makeshift table. "Wow, check out the Irish collection we got going on here!"

"That's right," Toye said, handing me a glass of some kind of alcohol. "Intimidated?"

"I'll be honest with you," I said, sipping and grimacing at the taste of the cheap tequila. "Slightly."

"Hey guys," Said Luz, Muck and Perconte, coming in through the door.

"Nooow I feel better," I joked.

"So, how's your poker face?" Babe asked, jokingly. "Or, being a woman, can you actually play poker?"

"I don't know, you tell me," I retorted. "Please, I have brothers! Of course I can play poker."

"Oh, she can play," Malarkey defended me, dealing the cards. "We discovered this at that game two weeks ago. You know Babe, the one you missed when I took all your money off you durin' the game before that. Actually, maybe I shouldn't have invited her here. She dented my funding last time and I need money for Paris."

"Well thanks, Malark…kinda," I laughed. "As for my poker face, Babe? I guess you'll find out."

……

(one hour later)

"Come on, show us your cards. There's no way you've beaten me," Babe challenged me.

"Sure about that, sweetie?" I said, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Wahey Babe, she's rolling out the 'Sweetie' on ya," Joe laughed. "Maybe you were wrong about what you said about her and Bill!"

"Excuse me?" I gasped, narrowing my eyes at Babe. "What exactly has he been saying.

"Nothing, don't listen to these guys," Babe laughed.

"Just that you like Bill. That you've been all googly-eyed over him and have been mooning over him since he busted his leg," Malarkey said.

"Oh is that right, Private Heffron?" I asked, in an annoyed tone. Truthfully though, the alcohol made me care less about this information, whereas totally sober I would have ran from the room in shame.

"Of course not," Babe smiled meekly at me. "Ignore these guys, they're just trying to throw your concentration. Anyway, show us those cards."

"Well, whereas before I might have felt almost bad about doing this to you, strangely I don't anymore," I said, almost evilly, laying my cards on the table. "Full House."

The rest of the guys cheered and patted Babe sympathetically on the shoulder.

"Look at all this lovely money," I said, laughing as I dragged the pile towards me.

"Shit!" Babe swore. "I was so sure I had it there."

"Bad karma for gossiping," I fired at him.

"Don't worry Fi," Perconte reassured me. "Even if you like Bill it's okay. It's pretty obvious that he likes you too!"

"It is?" I said, letting my guard down slightly and blushing.

"Yeah," Muck interjected. "Let's just say he's pretty vocal about Easy Company's female medic."

"What does he say?" I asked them.

""Fiona's pretty", "Fiona's so smart", "Fiona said the funniest thing last night", "What a great broad"…you get the general idea," Toye imitated Bill's Philly accent.

"Wow, really?" I said, almost smiling.

The guys looked at my expression and then smiled at each other.

"Yeah, I mean that's what we think anyway," Babe said, piping up. "Although can you really trust Bill around all those pretty nurses in the hospital?"

"Shut up, Babe," Muck said, patting my back. "Trust us, he's smitten."

I laughed lightly, looking at Babe and wondering why he would say something like that. We'd become such good friends over the last few months, it seemed quite out of his character for him to say something like that.

"In for another round?" Malarkey said, shuffling the cards.

"Uh, no," I said, standing up and heading for the door. "I think I'll quit whilst I'm not in any kind of debt."

"Me too," Said Toye, following me. "I'm beat anyway. I'll walk you back to the Barracks."

"Wait, Fiona," Malarkey called me back, pointing at the table. "You forgot your money."

"Take it," I smiled. "Put it back into the pot."

"What? No we can't do that," Perconte insisted.

"Seriously guys, I got nothing to spend it on. The boutiques around here are officially closed for business," I joked. "Try and earn some of that back for Paris, Malark."

"Hell of a woman," Malarkey smiled. "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight fellas," I said, walking through the door Joe held open for me.

………

A few nights later I was back at the aid station, making an inventory of boxes of bandages and bottles.

"Got three more here," A delivery boy said, coming in.

"What?" I sighed. "Oh fine, put them anywhere."

The boy set them down and left. I stared at all of the boxes around me. The prospect of spending another night counting bandages was just too much for me. _Fuck this_, I thought. I decided to make my way down to the assembly hall. They were showing _Seven Sinners_ down there, featuring John Wayne. I hadn't seen that movie yet and I decided it was just what I needed.

……….

Walking into the assembly area I was happy to discover I'd only missed the opening credits. I took a seat behind Muck and Perconte and settled down the watch it.

About twenty minutes later, I was really getting into the movie when I was disrupted by someone sitting next to me. It was Babe.

"Hey," He greeted me.

"Hi," I replied.

"Movie any good?" He asked.

"I don't know," I told him. "John Wayne is really good but I'm really not buying Marlene Dietrich's performance here."

"Yeah she looks a little scary here too," He laughed. He was silent for a few seconds. "Look I'm sorry about what I said the other night about Bill and the nurses. I don't know why I said it. I feel like such an idiot."

"What?" I said, playing dumb. "Oh, Babe, don't worry about that. I'd totally forgotten."

"So we're okay?" He asked.

"Definitely," I smiled at him.

"Good, because…," He started.

"Miss me?" A voice broke in from the seat behind us.

I turned around. It was Bill. My stomach filled with butterflies. "Bill? Oh my God, when did you get back?"

"Earlier today. I only had a minute though to say a quick hello to Babe and the Fellas. I had a lot of explaining to do to the higher-ups," He explained, leaning over to give me a quick hug.

"Explaining to do?" I asked.

"I kind of went AWOL from the hospital to get back here with you guys," He smiled. "Just wanted to make sure it didn't cause any problems."

"Wow," I smiled, ecstatically. "Well it sure is good to see you."

"Good to see you, too," He smiled, locking his eye on mine. "I missed you."

"Ditto," I said, trying to keep my cool.

Bill broke our eye contact, seemingly just noticing Babe who was staring at us. "Heff's been tellin' me all about how you've been kicking ass at craps and poker. Need to give you a game sometime. "

"If you feel lucky," I joked.

Suddenly we were interrupted by a group of Lieutenants walking up in front of the screen and screaming for the lights to be turned on.

"Element of the 1st and 6th SS Panzer Division have broken through in the Ardennes Forest. Now they've overrun the 28th Infantry and elements of the 4th. All Officers report to respective HQs. All weekend passes are cancelled," Lieutenant Holden announced to the room, much to everyone's dismay, as cries of protest rose in the air.

Babe, Bill and I stared at each other for a few seconds before standing up to join the stream of soldiers leaving the room.

"Back to work I guess," Babe said.

"Yup, and here was me thinking I'd get some downtime here," Bill joked, half-heartedly.

"No such luck," I smiled sympathetically at him as we reached the door. "Well, I better get to the aid station. See you guys later."

Despite how high my spirits were flying at seeing Bill again, the regret that I hadn't stayed behind to inventory the now-necessary supplies began to tug at my conscience.

……

An hour later we were being herded onto the truck as we were about to begin our journey to Belgium.

"Fiona," Bill called from the truck, offering out his hand to me.

"Thanks," I said, throwing my pack onto the truck and taking his helping hand onto it before taking a seat next to him. "How's the leg, by the way?"

"I'll live," He smiled, as the trucks started up.

Two hours later we were all freezing and conversation had turned to our impending mission without the necessary supplies.

"I just wanna know where the hell they're sending us and what we're supposed to do with no ammo," Babe complained.

"Yeah? I'd just give my boots for a cigarette," Bill stated.

"I'm so cold," Popeye shivered. "Hey, Fiona, can you actually die from being too cold?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied, a few guys around laughing at the question. "It's called hypothermia."

"Hypothalmia?" He repeated. "How can you make sure to not get it?"

"Uh, gee I dunno," I said, shivering against the cold myself. "Appropriate clothing, you know. Extra socks and the like."

"You need 4 pairs minimum," Muck cut in. "Feet, neck…"

"Hands, Balls. Extra socks warms them all," Everyone said in unison, rolling their eyes.

"Okay, we all remember that one! But we didn't remember the socks," Muck laughed, dryly.

"Hey, you cold?" Bill asked, scooting over closer to me.

"No more so than anyone else," I laughed, but secretly enjoyed the closeness. His familiar smell coming back to me was a treat and made me forget the cold for a second.

"I guess. Don't worry though," He said, referring to his moving closer to me. "I'm taking as much body heat off of you as I'm giving."

"Such a gentleman," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes but smiling at the same time.

"We're here!" Someone pointed out pointlessly.

We all began jumping down off of the truck. Jokingly, I held out my hand to help Bill down.

"What, are you kiddin' me?" He laughed, jumping down off of the truck.

"Just being polite, y'know," I replied.

Our laughter soon ended when we saw the steady stream of bedraggled soldiers walking noticeably in the WRONG direction from the line.

"What the hell?" Bill asked, amazed. "What happened? Where the hell you goin'?"

"They came out of nowhere. They slaughtered us," One Private replied in a monotone, the trauma evident in his eyes.

I watched almost in terror as the Easy Company soldiers began harassing them for their ammo. Soon enough Winters was herding us into the forest. We all marched in single file in complete silence. Looking at the guys, I was amazed at the courage they were showing and wondered how they were able to march in here when they had no idea what was facing them. I admired this courage, and hoped that some of it would rub off on me because, frankly, I was scared shitless.


	9. Chapter 9 First days in The Ardennes

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Note- Sorry this chapter is so long, but I was watching the Croatia vs. Germany Euro 2008 match whilst I was writing this and so I wasn't paying attention to how large it was and just kept writing and writing more. Haha

Also, thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story and stuck with it all the way through. It's much appreciated. So thanks to: Webeta,Y'lime Redriver, Raging Raven, SlythPrincess, Shariena and BrokenAngel1753.

………………………….

I sat shivering in my foxhole in a rare moment of downtime. I never knew that my body was capable of feeling such cold. We'd been dug in in the Ardennes Forest for around a week now and the snow had set in hard. I was even afraid to sleep at night in case of waking up to find myself totally encased in it. Funny thing is, had I been inside a house with a nice log fire and cup of cocoa, this would have been idyllic Christmas weather. However, this was far from an idyllic Christmas for any of us, stuck miles away from home, and entirely surrounded by the Germans. In a way though I was kind of happy to finally be out on the line with the men and feeling for the first time like I was really making a difference.

Doc Roe dropped into my foxhole, his heavy pack coming with him.

"Hey Doc," I greeted him. "Anything new today?"

"Kraut bandage," He replied. "Gave it to Spina, he needed it most. He's got nothin' left but scissors."

"Ridiculous," I shook my head. "How are we supposed to do our jobs when we don't have the basic things we need?"

"I know," Eugene said, defeated.

"Any accidents during that shelling earlier?" I asked, trying to take his mind off of it.

"Just Penkala. Hit in the arm. He's shouting out "Medic! Medic!" and then I get there and he says he doesn't wanna go to an aid station in, I quote, "this shit"."

I rolled my eyes. "Talk about his lucky day then, huh?"

"Yeah," He agreed. "Anyway, about this supply situation. I think I'm going to try and make my way over to 3rd Battalion again and see what I can scrounge."

"No," I said, firmly. "You went last time. I'll go this time."

"Okay," He nodded. "Well you make sure and take someone with a gun along with you. Take Spina too, in case you need an extra pair of hands."

"Okay," I said, hopping out of the foxhole. "I'll get everything I can. You try and rest up a bit, Eugene."

………

Looking for someone to come with me to third Battalion, I walked to Bill's foxhole to find he and Babe talking. Luz was sitting nearby, too.

"I dunno," Bill said. "If I'm honest I don't like them too big. Now don't get me wrong, that's not to say I'm into the tiny ones. I just think a nice medium balance is the best way to go."

"No way,bigger is always better," Luz disagreed.

"I don't care either way, any tits are good in my opinion," Babe laughed.

"Oh my God, the Germans so nearby and _this_ is all you have to talk about?" I asked, climbing into the foxhole.

"So sue us. We're guys and it's freezing! Gotta keep warm somehow," Luz laughed.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes. "Anyone feel like taking a spell off the line with me?"

"Always," Bill raised his eyebrows at me, suggestively.

"Gee Bill, it's not even dark yet," I said, playing along. "Save that talk for later."

"What's up?" Asked Babe.

"We need supplies so Spina and I are heading over to 3rd Battalion and would very much like someone with a gun to come and protect us," I said. "There's a hot meal at the other end in it for whoever wants to."

"Babe, you go ahead," Bill said, patting Babe on the shoulder and looking at me. "He's got a chesty cough and isn't doing too good. I told him to go see you about it but he didn't want to bother you."

"Don't be ridiculous Babe, that's what I'm here for," I told him. "Come on, let's get going."

………

45 minutes later and the three of us were on the way over to third. I had no idea where I was going, the lines of perfectly symmetrical trees made it so that I couldn't identify any kind of route, and the masses of snow didn't help. Luckily Spina had made the journey a few times and seemed to know where he was going. We'd been fairly silent in case of nearby Germans but it seemed things had eased off.

"So is your brother in the forces now? I meant to ask," Spina asked me.

"He was in North Africa, on the hunt for Rommel. That was a while ago though, I'm not sure where he is now. My mom usually tells me in her letters but she never mentioned last time," I replied.

"You two know each other?" Babe asked.

"Yeah, Spina worked at the carwash with my brother every summer during high school. They were pretty good friends. Lives not too far from us on Front Street," I said. "I was pretty shocked to see him here."

"Yup," Spina agreed.

"So Babe who is the new replacement in your foxhole?" I asked.

"Kid named Julian. Nice kid but so young. I swear they're getting younger and younger these days. Told me he's a Goddam virgin?" Babe said, incredulously.

"No kidding, really?" Spina laughed. "Only virgin I know is the Virgin Mary!"

I rolled my eyes as Babe laughed at the joke. "Oh please, you guys. You talk big but for all we know both of you might be virgins yourselves!"

"Come on now!" Spina said as though I'd just delivered the world's biggest insult. "You know I aint no virgin!"

"Oh that's right," I remembered, gleefully. "What was it my brother said again? You and Sandra Duncan. Where was it again? The dumpster behind…a grocery store? Should I continue?"

"Yes, please go on," Babe laughed. Then all of a sudden he fell down into a crevice in the snow. An abandoned foxhole we presumed. We all sniggered a little, even Babe.

"Hinkel? Hinkel bist du?" A voice came from under the snow.

We all looked at each other in a second of blind panic before sprinting full speed in the snow as the German emerged from the snow and started shooting at us.

…………

That night, after coming back from 3rd Battalion with frightfully little, I found myself in Babe and Julians' foxhole, trying to sort out Babe's cough.

"Just drink it!" I ordered.

"But it's hot water and lemon powder," He protested. "It's disgusting!"

"It'll soothe your throat, the lemon," I told him.

"Well actually, I doubt there's very little actual lemon in that lemon powder," Julian observed.

I looked over at him, amused. "You're not helping, Julian. Find me a real lemon around here."

"Heffron?" Doc Roe asked, appearing at the edge of the foxhole. "You okay?"

"'Gene, what is with the Heffron bullshit?" Babe suddenly snapped. "You know my name, why don't you use it?!"

"Uh…it's Edward, right?" Eugene asked, uncomfortably.

"Edward are you serious? Only the Goddam nuns call me Edward."

"Anyway, I need to know if you kept your morphine from Holland?" Eugene asked, changing the subject.

"Nah you asked me already, remember?" Babe said, curtly.

"No, I don't recall," Roe said, defensively.

"Ignore him, Eugene," I said. "He's got a throat infection and it's a nasty colour on his personality. By the way, you still looking for scissors?"

"Yes, I am," Eugene replied.

"Leave it with me. I'll get you a pair," I promised. He smiled in gratitude and turned to walk off. "Babe that was kind of rude."

"Sorry, it's just he's asked me twice today and I'm in a really bad mood," He said apologetically, taking a sip of the drink and grimacing at the taste.

"Whatever, you should always stay on the right side of the medics. Never know when you might need them one day," I joked, standing up to leave. "Julian, make sure he drinks that."

On my feet, I made my way over to the left to the foxhole of Skinny and Perconte and dropped in.

"Evening, Doc," What can we do ya for?" Skinny asked.

"Perconte, can I see your pack?" I asked, sweetly.

"Why?" He asked, apprehensively.

"Just give me it," I laughed, and he handed it over.

I tipped it out onto the side onto the snow. A mass of pill bottles and various other crap rolled out. I gasped. "Well, looky who has been hoarding all the medicine. Seriously, Perconte, you have no right to complain about your pack being heavy!"

"Aww, Fi! What are you looking for?" He asked, annoyed.

"These," I said, holding up his scissors and putting them in my pocket. "Doc Roe needs them, you don't. Evening fellas."

Climbing out despite protests from Perconte, I made my way to the right again, past Babe and Julian and into Bill's foxhole undercover, as I'd done for the past four nights. It was becoming a bit of a ritual. He was slightly startled at my sudden arrival. I noticed Joe Toye was fast asleep, unaware of my entrance.

"Sorry if I scared you," I smiled.

"Don't worry about it," He laughed. "I can think of several scarier things to come in my foxhole like that! You. You are actually a pleasant surprise."

"Good to know," I smiled, moving up next to him as he handed me a hot cup of coffee. "How's the leg?"

"Better," He smiled. "I don't think it's falling off anytime soon."

"Good stuff," I said, yawning with fatigue as I shifted into a more comfortable position, putting my pack behind my head is a pillow.

As usual, Bill pulled his tattered brown blanket around both of us and we cuddled in for the night. When we started this blanket evening ritual, we'd said it was for body heat but it felt like something more. It was something I looked forward to all during the day, and I hoped he felt the same. I was getting that impression, as every night there was a new form of touching, be it arm or hand touching and the day before I'd woken up to find he'd draped his arm around me at some point during the night.

"So how was your day?" He asked, rearranging the blankets so I got more.

"Oh you know," I said, sarcastically. "Saved some lives, went on a supply run, wandered into German territory and froze my ass off."

"All in a day's work, huh?" He laughed.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Well, first of all…," He began.

We spent the night chatting, with his arm around my shoulder, stroking it lightly every so often until we eventually fell asleep, breathing in time.

……….

The next day early I found myself in the nearby town of Bastogne to go to the local "hospital" there to see if they could spare any supplies for us. Walking into the sublevel hospital which had been made from an old converted church took me right back to my days in the French hospitals. Critically injured men were lying on makeshift beds with their guts hanging out. These were men who were far too critically injured to be here. They belonged in a proper hospital with an large number of licensed doctors and surgeons, but it was impossible as the line had been cut and ambulances couldn't get to them. It hurt my heart to think of them as I descended the steps. Trying to locate someone who worked there I was surprised to see a familiar face lying on a bed nearby.

"Skinny?" I asked, moving over to him. He was lying with a bandaged up leg. "What happened?"

"Hey, Fiona," He said, smiling at me and looking at his leg. "Shrapnel in the leg earlier today. Thanks to Jerry. Doc Roe brought me in."

"Sorry to hear that Skinny?" I asked. "Does it hurt badly? Did they give you morphine?"

"It was pretty sore, but no morphine. But they gave me a glass of some kind of homemade hooch, which had a bit of a kick so I don't feel much now."

"Good to hear," I smiled, giving a little laugh.

"Can I help you?" A french accent said from behind me. I turned round to see a nurse.

"Good Morning," I greeted her. "We need some supplies. I was just wondering if you had anything to spare."

She looked at me wearily and led me to a back room. "Come with me and I'll see what we have."

"Things seem quite crazy around here," I said to her, sympathetically.

"It's tough," She nodded. "We just have to deal with it the best we can."

"You're right," I said, giving her a half smile. "Is this everything?"

"Yes, sorry we can't give you more but we're so hard-pressed here," She apologised.

"No, please don't apologise. We appreciate anything you can give us," I reassured her. I turned to leave. "It was nice to meet you."

"Before you go," She called me back. "Do you know Eugene Roe, the man who brought in the soldier with the wounded leg earlier today?"

"Yes, we're in the same Company," I told her.

"Do you think you could give this to him?" She asked, handing me a bar of chocolate.

"No Problem," I smiled, wondering what that was all about. I turned to leave, wishing Skinny a speedy recovery as I passed by him.

………………

When I got back into camp that night it had just hit nightfall. I made my way over to Roe's foxhole. At first I thought he was sleeping but then I realised he was saying some kind of prayer with his rosary beads.

"Eugene?" I said, tentatively, not wanting to disturb him.

"Hey there," He greeted me. "Get much in Bastogne?"

"Few things," I said, handing over the box and reaching into my pack. "Also, scissors from Perconte. I swear if you need anything at all, chances are he has it in that pack of his. Also, a _nurse_ in Bastogne told me to give you this chocolate."

"Uh, thank you," He said, hurriedly taking the chocolate and blushing.

"Must have made an impression," I joked.

"It's not like that," He said, defensively.

"Don't worry I won't pry," I smiled, just happy to see him with a bit of life in him again. It was making me feel all romantic and anxious to get to Bill's foxhole for the evening. "So did I miss anything?"

"Reconnaissance mission earlier. Not too many casualties but that new replacement Julian got killed," Eugene told me.

"Julian? Julian who shares a foxhole with Babe?" I asked.

He nodded. "I don't think Edward is taking it too well, either. He wanted to go back for him, but Nixon overruled it. He went to his hole pretty early tonight alone."

"Poor Babe," I said, sadly.

"Yeah," Roe agreed. "Anyway, I think I'm going to get some shut eye myself."

"Okay, me too," I said, standing up to leave. "Night Eugene."

I climbed out of his foxhole and proceeded towards Bill's foxhole. I was ready for some sleep and a bit of a cuddle, to be honest. On the way I walked past Babe's covered foxhole. I stopped and looked back. The thought of him in there alone without Julian for company was too much. If he was really miserable he could probably use a friend, and in a war situation like this it's the little acts of friendship that really pull you through a trauma. Looking at Bill's nearby foxhole with regret, I doubled back and into Babe's foxhole, trying to enter as quietly as possible in case he was sleeping. To my surprise I found that he wasn't alone. Spina was in there with him. Babe was all huddled up in a foetal position against Spina, who supportively had his arm around him.

"Hey guys," I said, gently. Spina smiled at me and Babe just looked up at me. I looked back at him. "I was worried about you."

"Why?" He asked, emotionlessly.

"Heard about what happened," I stated.

Spina looked up at me and motioned with his head at the door, as if asking for permission to go. He looked tired himself. I nodded at him.

"Feel better, Buddy," He said, squeezing Babe's shoulder before he left.

When we were alone I busied myself heating up some hot water for him to drink, figuring we'd be okay since the foxhole was covered.

"I promised him if he got hit, I'd get his stuff and bring it to his ma'," Babe suddenly stated.

I paused for a moment. "Babe, it wasn't your fault. In these situations you have no control over what happens. It's okay."

"It's not! Now the fucking Krauts'll strip him," He protested, coughing loudly. Then he said quietly. "It's not okay. I shoulda got to him."

"You did your best," I assured him, handing him the hot water and forcing him to sip it.

"He was so young," Babe said, on the verge of tears. "Oh shit. I feel like such an idiot here almost crying in front of you."

"Hey don't give me that," I said, rubbing his arm soothingly. "Listen, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. In case you want to talk about anything, you can tell me anything."

"Really?" He asked, looking into my eyes sincerely.

"Course," I smiled. I rearranged the blankets around him. "Okay, I better let you get some sleep."

"Wait," He said, reaching out to grab my hand as I turned to leave. "Do you think you could stay with me? I really don't wanna be alone tonight."

I hesitated for a moment, think of Bill but then relenting. "Of course I will."

I got under the blanket with him and pulled him into my chest in a hug. He coughed and spluttered as I held him. As we both drifted off to sleep, I thought of Bill in his foxhole and wished it was him I was cuddling into it. Funnily enough, little did I know that at that time whilst I was thinking about Bill, that was the moment When Private Babe Heffron finally admitted to himself that he was falling for me.

……………..

About an hour later I awoke groggily to the sound of footsteps outside the foxhole. On edge, I looked at the entrance as a figure dropped in. I couldn't make out who it was and it appeared that whoever it was couldn't make me out either. Suddenly a shell flying overhead illuminated the sky and I saw that it was Bill.

"Hey," I said happily to him, but not so loud as to wake the sleeping Babe.

"Hi. I was looking for you," He said, looking at me and then at Babe, whom I realised was still cradled into my chest. "I was feeling kinda lonely in my foxhole."

"I was on my way," I whispered, trying to detangle myself from Babe. "But Eugene told me about how that new kid Julian got killed. Babe shared a foxhole with him and was feeling like he should have done more to help him. I stopped by to see if he was okay but I couldn't leave him. He was in too much of a state. I've never seen him like that before."

"I had no idea," Bill said sadly, looking sympathetically at his sleeping buddy.

"Yeah," I said, and that nervously added. "I wanted to be with you, though. I was kinda in the mood for a Bill cuddle."

"That right?" Bill smiled. "I suppose here is as good as anywhere."

I grinned, and lift the covers to make space for him. "Then get yourself over here."

"Yes ma'am," He said, coming under the blanket and pulling me into his arms.

"I missed you," He whispered, smelling my hair.

"I missed you too," I whispered back, falling asleep in his big strong arms.


	10. Chapter 10 Shells Ring Out For Christmas

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_(South Philly- Christmas Day, Seven Years Previously )_

"_Mom, could you pass the potatoes?" My brother, Andy, shouted._

"_Yes, of course Sweetheart," My mother replied happily, searching the table for the plate and finding it empty. "Who ate the last of the potatoes?"_

"Douglas!" My father cried, looking at my youngest brother, who had a big mound of mash on his plate and was feeding it all to the dog.

_I burst out laughing, but eager to keep the "potato" peace. "Don't worry, we made extra. I'll go get them!"_

_I walked into the kitchen and started scooping out more mash. Suddenly three quick taps came from the kitchen window._

"_Psssst!" A voice sounded. _

_I walked over and opened it. "James?! Did you climb up the fire escape?"_

"_Yeah," He smiled, proudly. "I had to get away for a bit, dad drank all of the sherry for the Christmas pudding got really drunk. Mom started crying and when I left my Grandfather was challenging my dad to a bare-knuckle fight. I figured that was my cue to leave."_

"Merry Christmas, huh?" I said, chucking him on the arm. "You wanna come eat with us?"

"Your parents wouldn't mind?" He asked, worriedly.

"_MOM!" I shouted through to the dining room. "JAMES CLIMBED UP THE FIRE ESCAPE AND HIS FAMILY ARE FIGHTING AGAIN! CAN HE EAT WITH US?"_

"_Of course!" My mother called. "Hurry up with the potatoes!"_

_He climbed into the kitchen, taking the bowl of potatoes from me and setting it on the table. He presented me with some mistletoe. "Do me a favour, would ya?"_

I rolled my eyes. "James, I don't like you in that way."

"So?" He asked, rolling his own eyes. "I don't like you in that way either. Hell I'd rather be kissing Cynthia Warner under the mistletoe, as you well know! But she's going with Adam Hiller. So I'm thinking if she finds out I kissed someone then she'll get jealous and want me."

_I stared at him incredulously. "There is no logic to that whatsoever."_

"What are you talking about?" He asked. "It totally makes sense!" 

"_No it doesn't….oh, ok whatever!" I said, giving him a few-second peck on the lips. _

"_Thank You, I owe you one," He said, taking the potatoes through to the dining room. I followed, pondering the fact that my best friend had just given me my first ever kiss. _

………….

I sat alone in my foxhole as the snow pounded down around me on Christmas Morning, reflecting on that particular Christmas day. Everything seemed so much easier back than and everyone was so happy, blissfully unaware of the horrors that the future held for us. I tried to shake of the bitter disappointment of not being able to be with my family, stuffing ourselves with food around the table. Then I felt awful for my parents, having to spend their Christmas Day alone, worrying about their children who were separated and scattered throughout the world in dangerous war zones. These were sentiments that I'm sure all of the other members of Easy were feeling that morning. As they began to emerge from their foxholes, I heard someone sobbing loudly from within their hole, clearly throwing away all embarrassment for whoever might hear him.

"Merry Christmas!" Luz said, attempting to be cheerful as he offered me a hand out of my foxhole.

"Right back at ya," I said, taking his hand and jumping onto the ground.

"Coffee?" He offered, passing me his cup. I took it, gratefully. "So did Santa bring you everything you wanted this year?"

"Geez, I may have been a bad girl this year but whatever happened to just getting a lump of coal in my stocking?" I replied, sarcastically. Luz laughed. "Actually, scratch that. I _wish_ I'd gotten a lump of coal in my stocking…that way I could burn and get some damn heat into my bones!"

"Tell me about it," He sympathised. "I'm kicking myself now for wishing so hard for a White Christmas every year! Give me the sunny tropics, any day!"

……..

The day passed more or less quietly, which in a way made the mood in the camp even worse. Having nothing to do meant more time to think about all of the festivities we were missing out on back home. However this only lasted until dinnertime, when Colonel Sink showed up and told us the story of General McAuliffe responding to a German ultimatum for surrender simply with the word "Nuts!". After this spirits lifted considerably within the camp, a reminder of what we were here fighting for spurring us on.

With this in mind, assuming the night would be quite and attack-free, a few of us found ourselves sitting around in a circle playing Truth or Dare (mature, I know…).

"Ok, Malarkey, Truth or Dare?" Liebgott asked.

"Truth," He replied.

Liebgott thought for a minute. "Okay, I got one. Did you spend any of the money you won at crabs or poker games in 'Lulu's' back in France?"

"Uh…," Malarkey stuttered, looking at the ground.

"I think we can take that a firm "yes"," Babe laughed.

"Urgh Malarkey…can you say "venereal disease"?" I laughed, looking at him disapprovingly.

"Well I'm a man…I have needs," He tried to defend himself.

"You needed a venereal disease?" I asked, jokingly.

"I don't _have_ a venereal disease, Fiona," He replied. "Don't embarrass me…and why aren't any of you guys defending me? I could name a few other names who spent money there!"

"Moving swiftly on…," Liebgott said, rather hurriedly. "Malarkey your turn."

Ok…," He said, scanning the circle and landing his eyes on me menacingly. Payback. "Fiona, truth or dare?"

I sighed. "Truth."

"I'm so damn cold," Lieutenant Welsh interjected, before getting up and walking away. "Fuck it, I'm going to build a fire. I've had enough of not being able to feel my feet!"

"Truth. Ok, now let's think…," Malarkey said, rubbing his chin suggestively, before his eyes lit up. "Okay. Okay I have a good revenge one. Fiona…exactly how far have you gone with good old Sergeant Guarnere over there?"

My face went berry-red. "I…I don't know what you're talking about."

Muck burst out laughing. "Now, not to offend you or anything, as I know you're a lady…but that's total bullshit. It's not exactly a secret that you two like each other and don't think we haven't noticed that you two sleep in each others' foxholes every night."

"That's true. Sometimes I'm only pretending to be asleep and you two get pretty snugly!" Toye backed him up, laughing until Bill, who was sitting next to him, dug him hard in the ribs.

I looked at Bill and then at the ground, embarrassed and not really knowing what to say. "Well, I…"

Suddenly, we were interrupted by shells flying overhead. We all dove for cover. I lay on the ground until I heard Lieutenant Welsh screaming from a few feet away. Scrambling to my feet, I ran over to find him surrounded by Captains Winters and Nixon. I saw he had a bad burn to the leg. Scrambling around in my pack for the necessary equipment, my attention was diverted by the sound of another scream coming from across the camp. I looked over in that direction, worriedly, and then looking back, catching eyes with Captain Winters.

"Go," He ordered me, indicating to the direction of the source of the noise with his eyes. "Roe's coming."

Suddenly I was on my feet, ambling as fast as I could to the other side of the camp where I found a young soldier whose name I didn't know (replacement, probably) with a graze in his arm. I studied it quickly, and realised it was just a light cut.

"It hurts," He sobbed.

"It's okay, it's okay," I comforted him, taking out a sachet of power. "It's just a light wound, should heal in a few days."

I started to tend to his arm, when more shells exploded overhead. I threw myself over the soldier, covering my head as the ground exploded around me. When all was clear, I bandaged him up. I put my pack back on over my head and lay down on the ground, trying to get my breath back…

……………………

After I'd helped the replacement into his foxhole, I trudged wearily back to my own. Lifting up the canopy and climbing in, I was a bit surprised to find Bill there, given the game earlier and everything…. We were silent for a few seconds, both of us looking everywhere else but not at each other.

"Hi," He stated after a while.

"Did you, uh…hear how Welsh is?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I saw the Doc loading him onto a jeep. I think he'll be okay," He replied.

"Oh," I said. A short silence followed again. "So…why did you come here, Bill?"

"Because we always sleep together," He said, trying to be nonchalant but then realising how it sounded. "I mean…not in that way but…oh, you know what I mean."

"It's just I thought you might feel awkward after the game earlier…you know, with what the other guys asked me," I said, pointedly.

He looked at the ground. "Yeah, those guys. Real kidders."

"I looked at him, almost hurt. He was totally going to dodge the issue. Suddenly I snapped. "What are we doing here, Bill? Are you ever going to kiss me? Or have I, like, totally misread the situation? Because I get the impression that we…"

"…I think about kissing you all the time," He cut in, earnestly, too embarrassed to look into my eyes.

"You…you do?" I asked.

"Yes," He said, looking into my eyes for a second before his eyes went back to the floor. "But it wouldn't be right."

My face fell. "Why not?"

"Fiona, I haven't been straight with you. There's something I need to…," He started, but was cut off by more shelling exploding in the night sky. Instinctively, he through himself over the top of me, covering both of our heads with his arms. I buried my head into his neck as explosion after explosion hit sounded through the air. When it was over, we stayed where we were for a few seconds that seemed like long minutes to me.

I cleared my throat, moving my head away slightly so that I could look him in the eye. I tried to talk, but it only came out in a whisper. "You…you wanted to tell me something?"

"Yeah I have to tell you some-" He wiped a tendril of hair away from my eyes and frowned, sighing. "Fuck it."

Upon saying those words, his mouth came crashing down on top of mine, pulling me into a deep, surging kiss that made me tingle all the way from my head to my toes. We stayed that way all through the night, acting out months worth of repressed passion on each others' lips. Words suddenly became irrelevant, and our lips did all of the talking that needed to be done. Merry Christmas.


	11. Chapter 11 Auld Lang Syne

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The next morning I woke up feeling satisfied to the core. This subsided, though, when I looked around and saw that I was alone in my foxhole again. Bill had gone. I scratched my head, wondering where he'd gone. I had nothing tangible to prove to myself that I hadn't imagined the previous night's events other than my bruised and tender lips.

Groggily, I emerged from my foxhole and wandered around aimlessly. As far as I could tell no one had gotten up yet. Or so I thought until I stumbled across Babe sitting alone in his hole, shivering and looking out at the line. I dropped in.

"H-hey," He shivered, looking to see who I was.

"Hey Babe," I said. "Seen Bill?"

"He walked by me a half hour ago," Babe told me, then added: "He looked a bit pre-occupied…as he walked out of your foxhole."

"You saw that, huh?" I said, looking at the ground slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah," I did, he said in a sort of jokey voice, but with slightly sterner undertones. "Anything happen there? "

"Well…," I began, but stopped. "You and I. We can talk about this stuff, right?"

"Sure," He said, hesitantly.

"Well, we kissed last night," I admitted.

Babe was silent for a few second, with a bit of an crestfallen look on his face, which I didn't really understand. "Oh…so what does this mean? He spent the whole night so does that mean that you two…y'know?"

"No, Babe, I didn't sleep with him! I…I don't know," I said, truthfully. "I've liked him for such a long time, and he more or less told me that he felt the same. Then we kissed, and when I woke up he was gone."

"Maybe he had to think about some things," Babe blurted out.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, pressingly.

"Uh…nothing, why?" Babe asked, nonchalantly.

"It's just last night before we kissed, he said that it would be wrong if we did because there was something he hadn't told me about. Any idea what that could be, Babe?" I asked, almost pleadingly.

"Uh…no. Sorry, I can't help you there," Babe said, totally unconvincingly.

"Oh," I said, desperate to know what he knew but not wanting to press it any further. He didn't seem in the best of moods. I looked down at his hand, and saw a bandaged cut. "What happened there?"

"Eugene cut my hand by accident last night when he went to help the Lieutenant," He said, wincing as I touched it. "It's okay though. Eugene took care of it earlier."

"Does it hurt bad?" I asked. He shook his head, and we sat there in an uncomfortable silence.

………..

After a shelling that afternoon, I was doing the rounds around the foxholes, checking to see if all of the soldiers were okay. I hadn't seen Bill all day, and was dying to talk to him about the night before, and what it meant. That's why I was slightly nervous as I approached his hole.

"Hi," I said.

He looked up. "Oh, uh…hey."

"Any injuries during the shelling?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm right as rain," He said, not looking up at me.

"Okay…good," I said. There was a silence. I was nervous to bring it up but it had to be said. "I had a good time last night. Look, I don't know what it all means, but I just want to say…"

He suddenly sprang to his feet. "Look, I gotta go see, uh…the Captain about something. I'll see you later, okay?"

And just like the he was off. I watched him, almost dumbstruck. How could he give me the brush off after last night? I was so dumbfounded by what had just happened I didn't see Captain Winters come up behind me.

"Fiona? Did you hear me?" I heard him ask.

I snapped back to reality. "Oh sorry, Sir. I was miles away there. How can I help you?"

"Well, sorry to spring this to you on Boxing day but Bastogne was bombed last night. Heavily bombed," He told me.

"Oh dear," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"There are a lot of wounded civilians and already-wounded soldiers from the hospital there who are still alive as far as we know. Do you think you could take a spell away from the line to spend the next few days there and help who you can?" He asked.

"Not a problem, Sir," I said. "I'll do everything I can."

"Thanks," He smiled. "We've arranged a jeep…"

…………..

Arriving in Bastogne, I imagined that it was what Hell must look like. Screams and moans of pain invaded my ears from all directions and buildings blazed on, relentlessly. I knew I was going to have my hands full here. Recognizing Eugene at the entrance to the hospital, I ran over to him.

"Eugene!" I shouted. "What can I do? Should I help you here in the hospital?"

"No," He said, defensively. "I'll take the hospital. I want you tending the civilians. Help as many people as you can."

"Will do," I said, turning away and walking in the direction of the houses. Upon arriving, I put myself to work…

……………….

7 days later, I felt like I'd been through the wringer. Tending to almost an entire town's worth of wounded civilians, and sifting through their dead had drained me. I was tired, hungry and in serious need of a cuddle (that time of the month as well!). So, I found myself back on a jeep into camp. I couldn't wait to see the guys, and Bill. Truth be told the whole reason that I had journeyed back already was to talk things out with him. I couldn't stand leaving things unsaid. So, when I hopped off the jeep, his foxhole was the first direction I headed for.

"Hey Bill," I said as I hopped in, trying to appear cool about things to as not to creep him out too much.

"Oh, hey," He said, pulling me into a hug. He looked upset about something. "Where you been?"

"In Bastogne," I told him, happy that he seemed to be acting normal around me. "It got bombed at Christmas so I've been trying to help the wounded civilians and things like that."

"Sounds rough," He sympathised, still looking shaky.

"Bill, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," He said, but then changed his facial expression. "There was a shelling earlier. Joe got hit in the arm."

"Is he okay?" I asked, worriedly.

"He will be," He said, relieved. "Shook me up a little though, if I'm honest. Funny, you'd think I'd be used to all this by now."

"I don't think we ever get used to all this," I said, touching his arm, but he flinched. I frowned. "So, Bill…I have to go back to Bastogne in a bit but I'll be back for New Years tonight. Before I go though, I have to ask if you're okay about what happened between us the other night?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, suddenly going defensive on me.

"Well," I said. "That we kissed."

"Oh _that_," He said, pointedly.

I was bowled over. "Do you…do you regret it?"

"I…," His face softened for a second before hardening again. "Look, it happened. Let's not make a big thing of it."

I stood there, stunned. "Are you serious? But you said…."

"Look, I don't think we should make a big deal, okay? This isn't the place and time to be thinking about that kind of thing," He said, looking away from me.

I burst out. "Why are you lying? I remember what you said and I know what you feel."

"I can't talk about this," He said, jumping out of the foxhole and walking off, leaving me sitting there on my own, totally stunned. Tears slowly began to drip down my cheeks.

…………………

An hour later I was back in Bastogne. I hadn't known what to do after my conversation with Bill and had hopped on a jeep back into Bastogne. The sky had already turned to night and I found myself wandering aimlessly through the streets, tears streaming down my cheeks just like the newly-homeless civilians. Unintentionally, I found myself outside the torn-up hospital building we'd so often gone to for supplies since coming to Belgium. I noticed Eugene inside rooting around the debris.

"Eugene?" I asked.

"Fiona," He said, looking up and coming to greet me. "What are you doing back?"

"Last minute help, I guess," I stuttered.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the tears and my puffy eyes.

"I don't really want to talk about it right now," I said, truthfully. "But I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

"That's not a problem," He said, leading me to an upturned crate nearby. "Sit down, at least."

I sat down and he sat next to me. We were silent. I looked over at the wrecked hospital and realised he'd been at this specific building for almost a solid week. "Eugene, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at the floor. "Just trying to help out, like you."

I looked down at his hands where he was playing with a balled-up blue headscarf. Suddenly the face of the French Nurse flashed in my head. I looked at the building and then at his eyes, which leaked pain and hurt. "…She died there, didn't she?"

He looked down as a tear streamed down his cheek. "I…I was hoping she'd made it. I spent a week looking for her body. When I didn't find anything I figured she must have gotten away safely."

"She probably did," I said, trying to sound hopeful.

He shook my head and led me back inside the remains of the building. "That's what I thought…until this morning."

I looked at where he was pointing. There, lain out on a makeshift stretcher was the body of that same French Nurse in whom Eugene had found solace, struck an affiliation and perhaps, though it wasn't my place to say, maybe more. I didn't say anything to him. I just pulled him into a hug we both sobbed, taking solace in our problems from each other.

"I'm sorry to cry in front of you," He said.

"Don't be…I'm crying," I reasoned.

"She was…," He began, but couldn't get the words out.

"I know," I told him. "She was a great nurse."

"All she did was help people," He said, confused. "Why should you die for that?"

"It's not fair," I agreed. "But she did help people. Everyday. Just like you do."

We stood there in silence, as the snow began to filter through the new cracks in the ceiling. It was getting colder out.

"Eugene, I think it might be a good idea for you to get away from Bastogne for a while. I'm going back to camp…why don't you come with me?"

Eugene thought for a second. "Thanks…but I think I'll stay with her, tonight. I don't think she should have to spend New Years alone."

I smiled at the sentiment. "OK, I'll come back and check on you tomorrow if you haven't come back to camp by then."

"Fiona?" He called as I walked away. I turned back. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, 'Gene."

……………

When I got back into the camp there was around 10 minutes until the New Year began. It didn't feel right to start a New Year this way. As I walked in I noticed most of the men were seated around in a big circle. Seeing me, Perconte and Babe made a space for me to sit with them. I looked at Bill on the other side of the circle and then looked away when he caught my eye.

"Welcome back," Captain Winters greeted me, obviously trying to rouse morale within the group. "We were just talking about what we'd be doing if we were back at home right now. What would you be doing?"

I cleared my throat, fiddling with my hands. "Well, every year the Scottish-American community in South Philly get together for a Hogmanay Party."

"Hogmanay?" Perconte asked.

"It's like a Scottish New Years Party," I explained. "Everyone gets together, dresses up. The men wear kilts. Then there's eating, drinking and dancing until the small hours. It's really a good time."

I think the sadness on my face was evident, as Babe piped up: "Well, not to worry. Maybe I can make you feel more at home here."

"You can?" I asked, almost amused.

"Yes, I can," He cleared his throat and began to sing:

_"Should 'auld acquaintance be forgot_

_And never brought to mind._

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot_

_And Auld Lang Syne"_

I laughed and joined in:

_"For Auld Lang Syne my dear._

_For Auld Lang Syne_

_We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_

_For Auld Lang Syne"_

Malarkey and Muck joined in:

_"And surely you'll buy your pint cup_

_And surely I'll buy mine_

_And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet_

_For Auld Lang Syne."_

Captain Winters joined in:

_"We two have run about the slopes_

_And picked the daisies fine._

_But we've wandered many a weary foot_

_Since Auld Lang Syne"_

Finally, everyone else except Bill joined in:

_" For Auld Lang Syne my dear._

_For Auld Lang Syne_

_We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,_

_For Auld Lang Syne"_

When the song finished, Bill quietly pointed out that it was New Year and we all stood up to hug each other.

"Happy New Year, Babe," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

"Happy New Year," He whispered back.

After hugging a few more people Bill walked up to me. I looked at him, warily.

"I have to talk to you," He whispered in my ear, leading me away from the rest of the group. There was a silent understanding amongst the men, and none of them made jokes as he did. Babe just watched silently as we walked.

………

Inside his foxhole, we both sat down and stared at each other.

"What, Bill?" I asked, simply.

"I'm sorry for being so distant with you," He admitted.

"It's okay, Bill. To you, it was just a kiss. I thought it meant more to you but, if that's all it was then, fine, I can accept it," I lied.

"But it _did_ mean more," He asserted. "So much more."

"Really?" I asked.

He sighed. "Fiona, I'm gonna be as honest with you as I can. It's New Years and nothing should go unsaid at New Years. I've never been so honest with a broad before but, fuck it, here I go. I think I'm in love with you."

My mouth dropped open. "You're…you're what?"

"I'm in love with you," He repeated. "That Christmas night was one of the best nights of my life. When I was kissing you, it just hit me that I love you and that scared me to death."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I've never felt this way about anyone before and I shouldn't," He said, looking at the floor.

I assumed he just meant because we had serious jobs to do here. "Bill, I love you too. It scares me too, but whatever's in the way y'know, the war, whatever it is we'll get through it."

"You think?" He asked, needing some kind of reassurance.

"I'm positive," I smiled, pulling him to me. "Can you please kiss me now?"

Suddenly we were kissing again and the world melted away. I later discovered that that night was the coldest night during that winter in Bastogne but, honestly, I never even noticed.


	12. Chapter 12 Did you know my friend James?

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

NOTE- This chapter gets majorly cheesey towards the end. My apologies if it's just one or two notches too far on the cheesemeter :p. Also, at the end I was hoping it would be obvious but I just want to stress that it's meant to be Babe that's stroking her face. Reading it again, I realised it might come across as being James's Ghost or something and I just want to reassure everyone that I'm not going down that route :p…

……………………………

No rest after the New Year. Two days later we were on the move again to the Bois Jacques outside the town of Foy. At least we were told that's what it was called. If I'm honest, the whole damn forest looked the same to me. I couldn't tell one area from the other. Moving on meant leaving the confines of our old foxholes and setting up shop in shiny brand new ones. Much as I hate to admit but, as a woman, therein lay a bit of a problem for me. Having probably less than half the physical strength of the other guys meant digging took me much longer than it did everyone else, which was painfully evident to the guys nearby. So Lip and Malarkey came over to help me, which I was deeply grateful for because I hated the idea that one of the higher-ups would see me as being inadequate. I wasn't ready to leave here yet.

"Honestly, when it's all said and done I think I've experienced colder winters," Malarkey said, digging his shovel hard into the ground.

"Hell a lot of us probably have," Lip agreed and then sniggered. "The only difference is, numskull, you weren't living outside during those winters!"

"Yeah, yeah," Malarkey rolled his eyes. "But I'm just sayin'…"

"Hey guys," Donald Hoobler cried out excitedly, running over to us waving something around. "I got it! I finally got it!"

"Got what?" Lip asked. "Stop waving the damn thing around so we can see!"

"His Luger," Malarkey said knowingly, not even looking up at it as he dug into the ground.

"Beauty, aint it," Hoobler said proudly, passing it round. "That German was quick…but not quick enough, apparently."

I looked at the gun, almost impressed. It seemed a little odd to me that Hoobler was almost proud of his killing this guy because it meant getting a German gun. But hey, I wasn't going to make judgement, I'd barely spoken to the guy and didn't know him _too_ well.

"Hey, Hoob?" Malarkey asked. "Why have you got such a hard-on for Lugers anyway?"

"In Taccoa, just before we jumped I saw a picture of one. I thought it was so cool and I just knew I had to have one," He told us. "That kid James Warren showed me the picture."

Suddenly my ears pricked up and I dropped my shovel. "You…you know James Warren?"

"Uh, yeah I do," He said, a little surprised at my outburst. "Or rather, I _did_. Why?"

"I knew him! Oh my God can you tell me anything about him? Like, I dunno, like what he was like in training or even how he…," I was talking a mile a minute, excited to be near this person who had known my friend back at Taccoa. But suddenly I stopped.

"How he what?" Hoobler asked, looking at me like I was a little mental.

"Uh…nothing," I stuttered, climbing out the foxhole. "Will you guys excuse me for a minute?"

I didn't wait for a response. I took off running to Bill's foxhole. I found him single-handedly scooping large shovelfuls of earth out at an alarmingly fast rate.

"Hey Bill," I said, breathlessly. "Got a minute?"

"At least two for you," He said smiling, and then sighing with relief as he threw his shovel on the ground and sat on the edge of the hole. "Plus who am I kidding, I need a rest! But I don't want you to think this macho thing is just an act!"

"Oh, like I would!" I joked, smiling, sitting next to him. "Ok, listen. I need your advice on something and I'm gonna talk fast so keep up. I was just digging my foxhole, right? Then Hoobler comes over and starts talking about some Luger that he got after wanting one for ages. SO then Malarkey's all like "Why do you like them any?" and Hoobler says he learned about them from some guy in Taccoa…"

"Ok, slow down, honey," Bill said, putting a finger over my lips. "I know I have a pretty face, but my brain don't go that fast. Okay, who was this guy from Taccoa?"

I paused, moving his finger away. "…James."

"No shit," Bill whistled. "So, what does this mean?"

"Well I was all ready to ask him questions about what he knew about James's time in Easy and then it occurred to me…I've never once thought about _how_ James died! All this time and it never occurred to me to find out exactly how he died. I must be such a bad friend."

"Don't be an idiot," Bill laughed, stroking my hand. "I think the fact that you're even here proves you're a good friend. Did you consider that maybe you never wondered about it because on some level you didn't want to know?"

I pondered this. "I…I guess. But then that leads me onto my next question. If I know someone who might be able to help me, do you think it's worth finding out or would it be better if I didn't know?"

"Well, I can't really answer that for you," He said, giving me a half-smile. "But the question you gotta ask yourself is this- now that you know you have the means of knowing, can you really live with _not_ knowing?"

"That's a good point," I said, standing up. "I gotta go find Hoobler."

He grabbed my hand and sat me back down. "Wait. Before you go, I just wanna make sure you don't get your hopes up too much that Hoobler is gonna be able to give you any information at all. When we made the drop, we all got pretty separated and a lot of the guys just disappeared off the radar."

I smiled at his concern for me. "Okay, I wont get my hopes up until I know for sure."

I stood up again to leave, but Bill pulled me back down again. I was getting a little exasperated with eagerness to get going. "What?!"

He kissed me quickly on the lips.

"Oh," I blushed, looking down at the ground and giggling like a silly little girl. "I don't know what that was for, but thank you."

"Thank _you_," He winked at me. "Now get going."

I stood up just as a gunshot fired into the air. Bill pulled me down into the foxhole and pushed me as far down as possible as he got his gun out and peered over the side. I waited nervously for activity.

Suddenly a voice. "Oh Jesus, it's Hoob! He's shot!".

My eyes opened wide and I looked anxiously at Bill. He told me to be careful as I began running around, searching for Hoob's foxhole.

When I finally found Hoobler, I couldn't even see him for the throng of people surrounding him so I couldn't tell if he was alive or not. I looked down to see Eugene, leading everyone in saving him. Suddenly they all stopped.

"Eugene?" I asked, expectantly.

All of them turned round to look at me, making a space to reveal Hoobler…dead.

………………………..

That evening I sat in Bill's foxhole with him and Babe, frustrated. I don't mean to sound like a complete bitch and obviously I was upset that Hoobler had died and that the men had lost a good friend. However, I'd gotten it into my head now that I just _had_ to find out how James died. I wouldn't be able to concentrate until I knew. The idea that he might have died a _painful_ death was horrible, and the fact that it hadn't even crossed my mind until now caused _me_ more pain than you can ever imagine.

"Hey, lights are on but nobody's home," Babe said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"W-What?" I asked, snapping back to reality.

Bill put an arm around me. "Fi, maybe you should forget what I said earlier. Why don't you just try and forget all about it and try to get some sleep. Maybe it _would_ be better for you not to know. In this situation, anyway."

"No," Babe said firmly, looking deep into my eyes. "She _has_ to know. She won't be able to rest until she does.

Bill rolled his eyes. "Okay, any suggestions then, Einstein?"

Babe looked a little pissed at the jibe. "Well, let's get real here for a second. _Someone_ must remember him. Especially the officers. I think they'd be your best bet as a place to start. You don't lead platoons without getting to know your men. I'd say try Winters first."

My eyes lit-up as I sat up. "Babe, that's a great idea."

"Yeah, okay, fair enough but tomorrow, alright?" Bill said, trying to get me to lie down again.

"No, no," I said, pushing his arms away and standing up. "I gotta do this now. Be back in a little while. Thanks again, Babe."

…………….

Walking away, I realised I had no idea where the hell Winters had set up camp in this new place. Luckily I ran into Lip, walking in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Fiona," He said, concerned. "You know we're so close to the Germans here, you really shouldn't leave your foxhole unless it's absolutely necessary, especially at this time of night."

"I know, Lip, and I'm headed straight back there," I promised. "But I need to talk to Captain Winters first. Any idea where his new base is?"

"Yeah, it's right over there," He said, pointing. "Just came from there myself. Anyway, goodnight."

"Night Lip," I said, and then did a double-take. _He_ might know something "Hey, Lip!"

"Yeah?"

"Any chance you remember a Taccoa guy named James Warren?" I asked, hopefully.

Lip thought for a minute. "No, sorry. Why?"

"Not important, really. The name doesn't ring a bell at all?" I asked again.

"Nope, sorry. I couldn't even tell you what platoon he was in," He told me, truthfully.

"Ok," I said. "Don't worry about it Lip. You have a good night. Try and get some sleep."

"Will do," He said, walking off.

This was all so strange to me. Up until now no one even seemed to _know_ James, let alone know how he died. Could he have had so few friends here? That didn't seem right to me because he had been so extroverted, likeable and popular back in South Philly.

………

_Knock, knock._

"Come in," Winters's voice sounded on the other side of the door.

I pushed it open. "Evening, Sir."

"Fiona," He said, surprised to see me. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, Sir," I said, moving further into the tiny makeshift room. "Sir, I know we haven't really spoken since I joined Easy but I was just wondering if I could have a minute of your time to talk with you for a moment."

"Of course," He said, motioning for me to sit down. "I've always got time for everyone who needs to speak to me. What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you might remember a soldier from Taccoa named Thomas Warren. James Warren, as he was normally called. He died in Normandy, on D-day," I explained.

Winters scratched his head, as though racking his brain.

"He was about as tall as Joe Toe, quite thinly built, with short brown hair," I asked, hoping additional details would help.

"I'm sorry, but I really can't place him," Winters said, apologetically.

"That's okay, Sir," I reassured him. "Not many people seem to."

"It's a shame though," He added. "Too many good soldier lying dead in Normany without a proper burial. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"Oh," I said. "He was my best friend back in South Philadelphia."

"Oh," Winters said, thinking. "The reason you came here?"

I nodded, changing the subject. I didn't feel like getting into _that_ right now for fear of bawling in front of Captain Winters. "You know though, Sir, it's so strange. He was so popular, fun-loving and extroverted back in Philly. But here, it seems that no one even knew who he was."

"Well you know," Winters said, rustling some papers nearby. "Taccoa was a tough boot camp, I mean _seriously_ tough. Plus, just being there made it seem more real to the guys about just how dangerous a situation they were entering into. From my experience there, I noticed that the men either became more boisterous and extroverted than usual or, alternatively, that they would sort of retreat into themselves."

"Really?" I looked down at the ground, sadly. "I'd hate to think of his happy demeanour dying out in all of this."

"Don't worry," Winters reassured me. "The men just had their own way of dealing with the situation. I'm sure that under all that, deep down, the friend you knew was still down there."

"I'd like to think so," I said, standing up. "Well I'd better get going, Sir. Thanks for everything."

"Not a problem. Sorry I couldn't be more help," He apologised as I walked towards the door. He called me back. "Oh, and Fiona? I think your friend would be very proud of you and what you're doing out here. Don't think we haven't noticed your resilience and strength. You're a very good medic and you've endured hard situations like this much better than most people would be capable of."

I blushed, beaming. "Thank you very much, Sir."

……………..

Lifting the canopy, I climbed into Bill's foxhole. He was on the verge of falling asleep, but opened one sleep eye as a climbed in.

"Hi," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Any joy?" He asked, pulling my under his blanket.

"No," I said, simply. "But I spoke to Captain Winters, and it made me realise that maybe I _don't_ need to know just how-"

"Excuse me," A voice called from above the canopy. I looked up, to see Malarkey staring in at us.

"Evening, Malark," I called up.

"Hi you two," He said, looking over at Bill. "Mind if I borrow her for a minute?"

"Not at all, but remember it's just a loan," Bill joked, closing his eyes to snooze as I went outside to join Malarkey.

……………..

"What's up, Don?" I asked, unsettled by the anxious look on his face.

"I knew James," He blurted out. "And my ears pricked up this morning when I heard you asking Hoob about him."

"Really?" I asked, the hairs on my arms standing on end. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know how he died," Don told me. "It's not pleasant, Fiona."

I braced myself for what was coming next. "Go on."

"I didn't tell you right away because I wasn't planning on telling you at all," He told me, truthfully. "I didn't want to upset you by telling you the truth. But then I was thinking today that I don't want to bullshit you in any way. I've gotten to know you these past few months and I've come to learn that you are an amazing woman. To have come all this way and to have made so many sacrifices for your best friend is incredible to me."

"You knew about that?" I asked.

"Yeah," He told me. "I mean, I didn't know the ins and outs but word gets around. I knew you were here because your best friend was an Easy man. But I didn't know exactly who it was until I saw your reaction this morning."

"Oh," It was all I could think of to say.

"So, bearing all that in mind, I don't think it would be right for me to bullshit you. So I'll tell you exactly how he died…if you want me to?" He asked me, nervously.

Dumbstruck, I just stared at him for a few seconds. "Tell me."

Don looked at the ground, unable to look me in the eyes. "We walked past him after the jump, a few of us. He was dangling from a tree, with his parachute tight around his neck. He must have gotten tangled in it and it choked him to death."

My whole face went numb. I burst into tears.

Don quickly put an arm around me, and stroked my head soothingly. "Did I do the right thing, telling you?"

I choked out between sobs. "Yes, I appreciate your honesty, Don."

"Should I go get Bill?" He asked, worried about me.

"No," I whispered. "I just have to deal with this on my own for a little while, okay?"

He paused for a minute, not really wanting to leave me all alone but finally relenting after seeing the pleading look in my eyes. He stood up to walk away, squeezing my hand before he left. "I'm so sorry. He was a good man."

All alone, a million thoughts raced through my head as fast as the fat teardrops rolled down my cheeks and onto the ground, melting the snow bit-by-bit beneath me. He must have felt so alone and terrified there, at night, struggling against the parachutes ropes as they choked him to death. I sat there sobbing in the snow for about two hours before my thoughts finally reassembled into some kind of logical composure. I realised that there was nothing I could do about it now. I just hoped that he'd known how loved he was by everyone back home, if by no one here. Funny thing about love is that you don't realise how precious it is until it's gone.

I felt a hand place itself on my shoulder. I turned around to see Bill staring down at me. I opened my mouth to explain what had happened, but all that came out was a whimper.

"It's okay," He said, softly, presumably guessing Malarkey had given me some bad information about my once best friend. "You don't have to say anything until you're ready, okay?"

I nodded. He put a hand under my arm to help me to my feet, but my legs buckled from under me as I fell back down onto the powdery snow. He kneeled down, sliding one arm under my knees and the other behind my neck and picked me up effortlessly, carrying me back to his foxhole. Inside I noticed vaguely that Babe was still there, apparently sleeping but opened one eye as we approached and sat up with concern as Bill climbed in, carrying me in his arms. The two had temporarily foxholed up together whilst Joe Toye was at the Aid Station. He opened his mouth to ask something, presumably if I was okay, but Bill silenced him by putting a finger to his lips. Bill laid me down next to Babe and put himself on the other side of me. He wrapped the brown blanket around us and cradled me in his arms as I tried to block out the mental images of James dangling there from that tree.

A few hours later, after falling into a deeply troubled sleep I awoke with a start. Calming down, I remembered where I was and, although it was so pitch black that I couldn't see a thing I felt comforted by the feeling of an arm around my waist and a hand softly stroking the side of my cheek tenderly. I snuggled back in to settle down to sleep again. A voice whispered out quietly and muffled "I love you".

"I love you too," I whispered back, _assuming_ it was Bill and letting the rhythmic strokes on the side of my face lull me back into a slumber.

We should be grateful for all the love we _do_ have when we're lucky enough to have it. Surely nothing bad can come from having _too much_ love, right?


	13. Chapter 13 The World Turns to Hell

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Over the next few days, the weather got much worse. It wasn't the temperature, but a wind set in that blew the snow in every direction, biting into the face and make it hard to see anything outside the foxholes. It must have been the same for the German, as there had been very few attacks for the past few days coming from them. This meant a lot of time sitting around, just trying to combat the cold. This meant that we spent a lot of time, huddled in groups in each others' foxholes, chatting. On this particular night, I was in my foxhole, joined by Bill, Babe and Buck. Buck had still not gotten over the death of Hoobler, and was doing the rounds of the foxholes, telling everyone to be extra careful.

"Luger in his pants," Buck told us, although we all already knew.

"Jeez," Bill whistled, playing along.

"Don't you guys do something stupid like that, alright?" Buck said, warningly.

"We'll try not too, Buck," Babe promised.

I smiled, nodding.

Buck looked around, uncertainly and stood up to leave. "See you later, I'm going to check on the other guys."

Babe watched him go. "Crazy Joe McCloskey."

"What?" Bill asked, looking up.

"This guy who used to hang out the front of Delancey's and just…just stare at people," Babe explained.

"Yeah I know who he is, what's that got to do with anything, Babe?"

"Buck kinda reminds me of him now," Babe said, sadly.

"What?" Bill said, almost defensively. "You sayin' he's nuts?"

"No, I'm not saying he's nut, just that…," Babe started. "Oh come on you've seen him, he's all wound up like a spring!"

"Hey," Bill said, warningly almost. "He's fine. It's just being in that hospital, okay. It does things to you, messes with your head."

"That's definitely true," I piped up. "It's a pretty depressing place. I wouldn't say Buck was fine though. He doesn't really smile as much as he used to. But then again, do any of us?"

Bill smiled at me. "I dunno. I certainly seem to be smiling more than usual these days."

Babe rolled his eyes and hopped out. "I'm heading back to my foxhole. G'night."

"Alone at last," Bill smiled mischievously and pulled the canopy over the foxhole.

"Now now, sleazy isn't sexy," I joked.

"Did you call me sleazy?" He asked mock-offended, pulling me into his arms.

"Maybe," I flirted, moving in to kiss him. "What are you gonna about it if I did?"

He pulled his lips away from mine as I went to kiss him. "I won't let you kiss me for a start."

"Oh is that right," I said, teasingly, planting small kisses everywhere around his face except his lips. "And how long do you think you can keep that up?"

"I'm a tough…soldier," he said, moaning slightly. "You wont break me."

"Oh no?" I purred, moving my lips down to his neck and nibbling it.

"Fine, you win," He said, pulling me towards him and enveloping me in a rough kiss.

Before I knew it, ten minutes of kissing passed. I only became aware of it when I realised that his hand was slipping inside of my arm jacket. I lay back, enjoying the feeling as his hand slipped under my vest and touched my bare skin. I moaned and subconsciously arched my back upwards as his fingers began to make their way up my stomach. Feeling turned on in a way I never had before with any other guy, I began to slide my hand down to his pants. I heard him take a sharp intake of breath as I found the first button and began to undo it. Suddenly a noise of someone talking outside brought me back to reality and I stopped.

"Are you ok?" He whispered into my ear.

"Uh," I said, nervously. "I think we should stop."

"Do you not want to?" He asked, concerned.

"No, no I do," I stressed, sitting up and fixing my shirt. "Just, you know…not here."

He looked around, sighing and nodding. "Aint exactly the Hilton, is it?"

I laughed. "No. I'm sorry, I just don't want it to be like this, all unromantic and cold."

"I understand," He smiled.

"I'd rather wait until we're, you know, inside, warm, lying in a proper bed…and when we've both actually bathed," I continued, joking.

He laughed, stroking my face and kissing my forehead. "So we'll wait."

"You really don't mind?" I asked, cuddling into his chest.

"Not at all," He said. "Damn it you really had me going, though.

"Speak for yourself," I rolled my eyes.

"Good thing we're in Bastogne in the middle of winter though," He said, jokingly. "I won't have to bother with that cold shower."

……………………

The next day I was sitting on my own, waiting to join the food queue. I liked to leave mine until the end, to let the guys eat first. Absent-mindedly drawing shapes in the snow with a twig, I was distracted by the sound of feet nearby crunching into the snow. Looking up, I was shocked to see Joe Toye, walking away from Captain Winters. I walked over to him.

"Hey Fi," He greeted me, noticeably in pain.

"Joe, what are you doing here?" I asked, quizzically. "You're arm surely can't be better by now?!"

"It's fine," He said unconvincingly.

"Really?" I asked, poking him in his wounded arm. He let out a yelp. "Ok, I'm not. But I wanted to get back to the guys here."

"That all?" I asked, secretly suspecting there was another reason for his early return.

"Ok," He admitted. "I had to get away from that aid station. It was driving me nuts in there."

"I knew it," I laughed. You know it's gotta be bad when you'd rather be _here_. Well, It's good to see you, anyway. I was sorry to hear about the accident."

"No worries," He said, kissing my cheek." Happy New Year, by the way."

"Happy New Year," I smiled. "The guys'll be really happy to see you, especially Bill. He really missed you while you were gone, though you know he won't admit to it."

"Probably not," Joe laughed as we walked over to him. "How about you? You been taking care of him?"

"Please," Bill joked, turning round. "Bill Guarnere takes care of himself. Eyy Joe! Good to see you Buddy!

"You too," Joe smiled.

Bill handed me a plate of food. "Or maybe I take care of her."

"Aww, thanks Sweetie," I smiled.

"Sweetie?" Joe repeated. "What'd I miss while I was gone?"

The three of us went to sit down amongst the other guys, all of them eating as well.

"Joe Toye!" Muck grinned. "Back for more!"

"Knew he couldn't stay away too long," Malarkey joked.

"Where'd you get injured?" A new kid from the back piped up.

"What's _that?_" Joe asked defensively, motioning at the kid.

"Webb," Muck rolled his eyes. "Replacement."

"Oh, thought my memory got wiped out at that hospital or something," Joe joked.

"Ignore him," I smiled at the new kid.

"We say _wounded_ kid," Johnny Martin explained. "And it was in his arm."

"All of you been _wounded_?" The kid asked carefully, trying to get it right.

"Uh yeah," Malarkey said, waggling his eyebrows discreetly to the rest of the other guys to let them know something was going down. "In fact, all of us have been. See, it's an Easy Company Tradition. To truly belong, you have to get injured once. It's called The _Initiation_."

"Oh yeah," Bill said, getting in on the act. "The _Initiation_."

"I have to get injured?" Webb stuttered.

"Yeah, we've all had to do it," Perconte said, a little too earnestly. I rolled my eyes.

"Injured how?" He asked, confused.

"Doesn't matter how really. We've all had it done various ways. You earn more respect for how you get it done. For example, Muck here walked right over the German camp, shouted "SHOOT ME" and then ran for his life. Shot in the arm, he was," Toye lied, proudly.

"Yeah, kid, you could do something like that. Do what I did, everyone would respect you after that," Muck smiled.

Webb's eyes grew in terror. He was totally buying this. "Gee guys, I don't know. That sounds a little dangerous…I might die."

"That's just the risk you take, kid. Liebgott here tripped a hit his head off of a tree…now he's the runt of the company," Luz laughed.

Liebgott rolled his eyes and grinned. "Jackass."

"I don't know, you guys," Webb said, biting his bottom lip.

"Sorry, Buddy," Bill said, sympathetically. "If you don't do it you can't join Easy, which would be bad for you out here because not many jeeps are running out of Belgium these days so you'd be stuck, alone…at the mercy of the Krauts."

Webb mouth fell open. "Are you serious? Why does this have to happen?"

"We like to think it makes the soldiers stronger," Babe lied, thinking quickly.

"So I just have to get myself injured once?" Webb repeated.

"Yep, then you come and see me and I fix you up and make you all better. Then there you go, you're in Easy," I smiled, knowing it was mean but figuring what the hell.

"If you don't want the Germans to do it we…we could always do it for you," Malarkey suggested, deadpan. "A few of us could hold you down and shoot you somewhere you've padding…like your ass. Bull could do it. Bull where's your gun?"

The look on Webb's face was just too much. Perconte couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. A few others joined in.

"Wait…are you guys messing with me?" Webb asked, his face lighting up with realisation.

"Of course, dumbass," Toye laughed.

"Welcome to Easy Company, kid," Bill slapped him on the back.

I laughed along with the other guys. It was nice to see them all happy again, even if just for a moment. Little did I know, it would be the last time I would see the majority of the ever-dwindling Easy Company laughing with each other, momentarily truly happy.

…………………

The next day we had to increase the cover over our foxholes, knowing that the Germans had us targeted. I sat on the edge of the foxhole Bill and I were more or less sharing these days, as he added extra branches around it.

"Were you actually planning on doing any work at all here?" Bill joked.

"Hey, I gathered all these branches that you're stacking," I said, proudly. Then added jokingly: "Besides…you're the _man_."

"Oh, I see," Bill said, pretending to be shocked. "Is that how it's gonna be with us then? I do all the work while you're the princess?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "Only I wouldn't describe it in those terms exactly…I'd say more that you were under-the-thumb."

Bill burst out laughing. "I swear, sweetheart, if you weren't so pretty and I didn't love you so much I wouldn't stand for that."

"Lucky me then, huh?" I laughed.

I looked at the foxhole. "I think we could use a few more branches here over this."

"Oh, did you want me to get those?" Bill asked, sarcastically, taking my hand and kissing it apologetically.

"Sassy man," I rolled my eyes and clamouring to my feet. "I'm on it. Be right back."

Suddenly an all too familiar rumbling sounded in the sky and as the shells began to fall the ground shook and I fell to my feet. The next thing I felt was Bill dragging me along the ground by the back of my jacket back into the foxhole. He threw himself on top of me. I covered my ears and screamed as the shells banged on and on. I'd never experienced a shelling like this, and it felt literally like the world around me was going to hell. Though the shells were loud, the screams and the shouts of the men sounded out loud and clear. I could only imagine the number of casualties I'd be dealing with after this.

Eventually it all subsided, and everything became deathly still and silent. Bill eventually rolled off of me and we both sat up slowly, merely peering over the edge of the foxhole.

"I better get to the casualties," I said suddenly, making a move to leave the foxhole.

Bill grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. "We don't know if it's over yet. Plus, this might be what they want, for us to get out and start walking around…like perfect targets."

So we waited, and everything was still with the exception of the distant cries of Sergeant Lipton telling everyone to stay in their foxholes. Suddenly a set of cries became audible nearby, cries of a man in pain.

"You hear that?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Is that Joe?" Malarkey called from his nearby foxhole.

Bill listened for a few more seconds. "Yeah, I think that's Joe."

"He sounds really hurt," I said, worriedly.

Bill looked worriedly around him before a look of resolve settled over his face and he moved to jump out of the foxhole. "You stay here."

It was my turn to grab _his_ arm. "No, Bill! It's too dangerous, you said that yourself!"

"I have to go to him. I'll be fine, I promise." He kissed me quickly and reassuringly on the lips before running off.

I watched him disappear off behind a pile of branches that had been blasted off of the trees during the shelling. I had a really bad feeling about this. Suddenly, another familiar voice calling for help caught my attention. Scanning around to see where it was coming from, I located it to a nearby foxhole which had had an entire tree fall on top of it.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, climbing quickly to my feet.

"Hey, Fiona," Malarkey cried. "Bill told you to stay!"

"I gotta go help that guy!" I told him, running over to the foxhole.

By the time I got there, Lip and Buck had already arrived.

"Who is that?" Lip called out.

"It's Heff! Babe! Get me outta here, Lip!" Babe called from beneath the tree.

"Shit, Babe!" I called out.

Buck and Lip started moving the branches out of the way, creating a gap so that I was able to put my hand through to pull Babe out. Pulling hard, I managed to get him up onto the bank of the foxhole.

"Geez," Babe said, jokingly. "You think I overdid it on the cover for my foxhole?"

"Wiseass," I laughed, rolling my eyes, sprawled out on my back trying to catch my breath. I stood up, scanning the surroundings for Bill.

"INCOMING!" Lip screamed out into the air, disrupting me from my thoughts.

The next thing I knew, Babe was pulling me down into the foxhole, and the trees branches we'd moved fell back into place again, trapping us down there. We sat in the tiny space, hugging each other, wincing in pain as the shell bursts drummed into our ears and the pine needles from the tree pricked into our faces and necks.

When everything finally went quiet again I looked up. "We gotta get outta here, Babe. HELP!"

"Someone'll come, don't worry," Babe reassured me.

"I know but I need to…," I started but stopped.

"MEEEEEDIIIIIIICCCCCC," Buck interrupted, shouting out into the air to whoever would listen him. It made my spine tingle, and I had a bad feeling something out there had gone very wrong.

"I need to get out of here now," I started to freak out. "HELP! HELP!"

"Hold on," Muck shouted from nearby, running over with someone else to started detangling us. "It's gonna take a while, another tree fell on top during the shelling."

"Just hurry, please," I begged.

I sat there in silence with Babe, the two of us listening to the muffled voice from outside. It seemed like whatever they were doing on the other side they were just making the situation worse. From what I could hear another soldier had come over and they were all talking. Suddenly I made out the muffled work "Bill".

"What?" I shouted out. "Bill what? What about Bill? What happened? Can you guys hear me?!"

Silence.

Finally light began to poke through and shine onto the lapel of Babe's coat. Then it grew bigger and I could make out the shape of Muck extending a hand to me. I grabbed at it, happy to be getting out of there. When I made it onto the ground, I grabbed Muck's arm. "Where's Bill? What happened?"

"Uh, they told us that…," Muck started, but then stopped, looking at the ground.

"He's over there…," Muck pointed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

My heart jumped into my throat as I took off running in the direction Muck described. Jumping over tree branches and other fallen debris, I finally made it there, slowing down when I saw a trail of red blood. The hairs on my arms stood up as I followed it. Suddenly I saw what the throng of people were looking at. My eyes widened in terror as I looked at the sight before me…my lover propped up against a tree, one leg totally savaged and practically detached, oozing out blood and turning the snow red. Slowly and horrified, my eyes travelled slowly up his leg, up past his torso and onto his face where our eyes connected for a brief moment, before I felt the blood rush to my head and everything around me turned black as I fainted to the ground.


	14. Chapter 14 Goodbye, Lover

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

To this day I don't remember how many hours (if any) passed before I came to. All I remember is that it was still light outside. Groggily, I opened one eye and looked around me. Nothing but sunlight stinging my corneas. I slowly opened the other one and immediately to my right I saw Babe and Eugene standing side by side, arms folded tightly under their armpits…just staring at me.

"That's really creepy," I said, my voice coming out quite coarse and raspy. Suddenly a throbbing pain hit my head and I put my hand up to feel a bandage around my forehead. "What happened to my head?"

"You hit it on some tree branch," Babe explained. "It bled…a lot."

"Why would I hit my head on a tree…," I started, and then the memories flooded back to me. I sat bolt upright. "Bill!"

"Yeah," Eugene said, looking at the ground.

I didn't even bother asking if he was okay. I'd seen his injury for myself, well enough to know that his time here was _over_. "Did they take him yet?"

"Not yet," Roe said, peering down at his watch. "Soon, though."

"Take me to him," I said firmly, swivelling my body round and placing my feet on the floor. I tried to stand up, but my temple throbbed like a SOB and forced me back down again.

"I…I really think you should stay and rest," Babe said, sitting next to me.

"Not gonna happen," I rasped.

"Fiona…," Eugene said, almost warningly.

"Look, I'm doing this with or without your help," I said to them, with steely resolve. "But, y'know, it'll take me longer without your help."

Babe sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks," I said, as he put a hand under my arm to hoist me ouch. "Ouuuuuch."

He walked me down the hall slowly…we're talking snail pace.

"Jesus Babe, could you go any slower?" I said, a little too meanly if I'm honest. I was just anxious to see him.

"I'm going as fast as I can," He retorted. "It's like moving stick legs here!"

"Sorry," I told him.

He stopped outside of a door. "This is it? Are you okay from here?"

"Yeah," I'll be fine, I said, the realisation of what I was about to do suddenly hitting me. "Wait, Babe, you don't wanna say goodbye to him?"

"I…I already have. He asked me to come sit with you. He didn't want you to be alone when you woke up," He told me, then his voice cracked a little with emotion. "I can't go in there. I can't see him again…like that."

"Ok," I said, my lip trembling. "Bye Babe."

I opened the door slowly. The room in the aid station was full of injured men, but my eyes fell on Bill straight away. He was in the very end bed, staring blankly out of the window, just watching the snow drift down. I walked slowly over to him, my head pounding with every step. He looked up as I approached him.

"Hey!" His face lit up. "I wasn't sure you were ever gonna wake up! Sleeping Beauty aint got nothing on you!"

I looked at the floor, willing myself not to cry. "Bill, don't joke. How can you joke at a time like this."

His face fell, utterly crestfallen. "It's all I can do…"

I took his hand as I sat at his bedside. "You're such a good man, Bill Guarnere. I hope you know what a good thing you did. I'm so proud of you."

"I know," he said, smiling for a second before frowning. "But I keep thinking about how much this is gonna change my life. I keep thinking about all of the things I'm never gonna get to…"

"Hey," I interrupted. "You're gonna get to do them all. This isn't the end for you. Medicine today is so advanced, you know, they do great things with prosthetic legs. It's just like having regular leg."

He just looked down.

"Besides," I joked, trying to cheer him up. "You're Wild Bill…and Wild Bill doesn't even need two legs."

He gave me a half smile, stroking my hand. "It's not just that. The idea of not seeing you every day…"

"Don't," I interrupted, swallowing back a lump in my throat. "You'll set me off. I don't wanna think about that right now, it hurts too much."

"Hey, hey," He said, tilting my chin up. "I love you."

"I love you too," I smiled at him, tears still sliding down my cheeks. "It's funny. All this time the man of my dreams was living just a few streets away…but it took me going to England to meet him."

Bill smiled. "And you know he'll still be only a few streets away when you get back to South Philly."

"South Philly," I smiled, I hadn't really thought of the future before. "This mean you might wanna see me again after all this is over?"

"It's possible," He teased. I playfully flicked his ear. "No, honestly, I'll always be there for you. I want you to know that."

"Then I'll do my damnedest to get back to you," I smiled, looking almost shyly at my hands.

Suddenly I was distracted by the sight of Joe Toye lying in the bed next to him. "Joe?"

"Yeah," Bill said. "Lost the leg, just like me."

"Wow, I had no idea," I said, sadly. "He woken up at all yet?"

"A little back in the forest, but he crashed as soon as we got here," Bill told me. "At least we won't go through it alone."

I nodded, looking down at Bill's leg, which was hidden by the blanket. "Mind if I have a look?"

"Knock yourself out," He said, then laughed a little. "On second thoughts, don't do that again!"

I ignored the joke, peeling down the covers to reveal his bandaged stump. I slowly put my hand to it and began to feel it all over, checking the bandage work.

"Wow, that feels strange," Bill mused.

"Sore?" I asked, quickly pulling my hand away.

"No, not sore," He reassured me. "Just strange."

A head poked around the door. "Sergeants Guarnere and Toye?"

"Right over here," Bill called out, and took my hand. "Ambulance guys are here."

I suddenly burst into tears all over again, the reality of the fact that I wasn't going to see him for a very long time washing over me. "No, we haven't had enough time. I feel like we haven't had enough time."

"Sweetie, come here," He said, pulling me into his arms.

"Sergeant, we're in a rush here," The man said at the door.

"Hey, you wanna give us a minute, pal?" Bill said, harshly.

"I'm sorry," I choked out.

"Don't be. Don't worry either, you and me, we got plenty of time on our hands," He said, wiping away my tears.

"Yeah," I said, unconvincingly.

"We do," He said, firmly. "Just you make sure you come back to me."

"I will," I promised, kissing him desperately for the last time until who the hell knew when.

I walked out and watched as they loaded Joe and him onto the ambulance. I gripped tightly onto his hand until I was forced to let go.

"Hey," He called to me, just before they shut the doors. "I'll see you in Philly, Lady."

I laughed, trying to put on a brave front. "Goodbye, Bill."

"This isn't goodbye," He told me. "It's just goodbye for now."

I smiled and mouthed "I love you".

"Me too," He said, and then they shut the doors, and he was gone from my sight.

I watched as the ambulance drove off, my heart felt like it was being stretched in all directions. Man, this hurt. But they say you can never truly know that you love someone until you've felt the pain of being without them.

"You okay?" A voice said, walking up behind me. It was Babe.

"Babe, you waited for me?" I choked out.

"Yeah, I didn't want you to be alone after Bill left," He said, handing me a handkerchief.

"Thanks, " I said, wiping my eyes.

"So…what do you wanna do now?" He asked me.

"Could you…could you take me back to camp?" I asked, in a quiet voice.

"Yeah, no problem. Let's go," He said, leading me away.

………..

Back at camp, I made Babe walk me round the back way to my foxhole, which took longer but I couldn't take the guys asking me how I was feeling right now. Later, but not now.

"Okay," Babe told me. "I got you back to camp. What do you want to do now? Are you hungry? I could get you some food."

I thought for a second. "No, I think I just want to sleep."

"Ok, whatever you want," Babe smiled, touching my arm.

Bidding him goodnight, I crawled into my foxhole. I suddenly realised how damp and cold it was in there. Well, it'd had always been damp and cold but I guess, when Bill was around, I just didn't notice it. Shivering and alone, I tried to will myself to sleep. A million thoughts were rushing through my head, wishing that Bill was here, wondering where he was right now etc. Eventually, I managed to fall asleep, still crying...the longest sleep ever, actually.

…………..

When I eventually woke up, I totally forgot where I was for a second. It was one of those deep sleeps that seems to temporarily rob you of all of your memories for a few second when you wake up. Then it all came flooding back to me, Bill, his leg and…ouch, my head. I poked my head under the canopy, realising I couldn't have been out that long because it was still dark out and crawled out of my foxhole. Babe was sitting next to it, gun poised in his hand.

"What are you doing just sitting here in the middle of the forest?" I asked, motioning him to come over the foxhole as I peeled the canopy off.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay when you woke up?" He told me.

"Man, I feel like I slept for a year," I said, stretching. "How long was I out?"

"All of Thursday…give or take a few hours," He said, looking at his watch.

"Oh my…are you kidding me?" I exclaimed. "Why didn't anyone wake me? I should've been working."

"Captain Winters said to let you sleep on," Babe said, looking at me sympathetically.

"Oh," I said. "Well I don't want everyone to think I'm a basket case."

"No one thinks you're a…," Babe started.

"Hang on," I interrupted. "If I slept an entire day, does that mean you've been waiting here all this time?."

"Hell no," Babe looked at me. "Who do you think I am, Greyfriars Bobby?"

"Apparently not," I gave a little smile.

"So, how are you feeling? Coping?" He asked.

"Coping?" I repeated. "I don't know to be honest. I've never really felt a pain like this before. But I guess it just means that I really love him."

"Must mean that," Babe said, looking away. "You know, Fiona, you don't have to stay here. You don't _have_ to be here like the rest of us. You can go back to South Philly with him if you want to."

"I know that," I told him. "But I'm not finished here yet, still got work to do."

"You're a trooper," Babe smiled.

"Plus," I continued. "It took me a while to see it this way, but now I'm thinking that maybe it's better like this. Bill's ticket home means I don't have to worry about him dying over here. At least now I know he's safe, in South Philly…and waiting for me."

"Waiting for you?" Babe repeated, almost dryly.

"Yeah," I said, not really liking his tone. "That's what he said."

"Ok," Babe said, simply.

"Babe, is there something you want to say?" I asked.

"Nope," Babe said, his expression softening. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired.

"Then you should get some sleep," I said, pointing to his foxhole. "We've had the sleep discussion before, you and I. A soldier needs it, now go!"

"You can't just give me chocolate again like last time?" He joked.

"Your luck's not in today," I replied, sarcastically, watching him walk off to his foxhole. Suddenly I was distracted by the sight of Captain Winters walking nearby. "Captain Winters!"

"Hello there," He said, as I walked up to him. "Feeling better?"

"Huh?" I said, then remembering my head. "Oh yeah, it's just a little cut. Should heal fine. I just wanted to say thank you for letting me sleep on."

"Not a problem," He said, politely, starting to walk towards Captain Nixon.

"Also, I just wanted you to know that it was just a one-off," I said, my cheeks reddening. "I'm sure you've heard the rumours about Bill and I and firstly, I was to apologise for letting my heart interfere at a time like this. It wasn't my intention."

"That I can well believe," He replied.

"I just want you to know though that I'm 100 committed to Easy and I never let it interfere with my work. I didn't come here to find love, that just happened," I promised him.

"I know it never interfered, that's why I didn't say anything to either of you. It's all a bit of a moot point now that Bill is gone, but as long as it wasn't interfering I didn't begrudge either of you a little happiness. Happiness can be morale-boosting out here," He said.

"Thank you, sir," I told him.

"You're Welcome. I need to go see Captain Nixon," He said. "I hope your head gets better soon. "

"Thank you, Sir, and thanks again for letting me sleep. I can't believe I slept so long!" I exclaimed.

"Or so hard," He let out a small laugh. "Slept through an entire shell attack."

"Seriously?" I asked, my eyes opened wide.

"Yes," He told me, before walking away. "I wasn't worried though, Private Heffron stayed by your foxhole all day."

"He…he did?" I said to no one, as Captain Winters walked away.


	15. Chapter 15 Silence and Nonbelonging

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

NOTE- Ok, Bill is gone temporarily. I wanted to stay as true to the series as possible, so he had to go. But he WILL be back, as they have unfinished business…in South Philly. But will it all end happily? Stay tuned to find out … I just have to, you know, write the rest of the war first lol :p. But obviously, I'll be using this time to up Babe's involvement in the triangle.I have it all planned out, I promise :p. Hope you're all enjoying the story so far!

…………….

Over the next few days I threw myself into work. Possibly to a crazy extent, bandaging scratches that barely left the surface and the like. It was my way of dealing with things I suppose. More work meant less time to think about Bill. Additionally to that end, where there was no work for me to do I tried to find myself things to do, which generally meant talking to the guys in their foxholes. The only problem there was that they kept asking me how I was feeling, and I _really_ didn't feel like talking about it. As usual, one evening a few days after his accident, I paid Babe a visit to his foxhole to chat. He was filling me in about Buck, who had been taken off of the line. Something I totally wasn't aware of, I guess I'd been too wrapped up in my own stuff.

"Yeah, I think it just got to him," Babe explained. "Seeing his friends hurt. But I still maintain that he hasn't been right since Holland."

"I suppose not," I said, absent-mindedly.

Babe paused and said pointedly. "I guess a lot of people were affected that day."

"Mmm hmmm," I said, tersely.

"Speaking of," He said, ignoring my tone. "Are you up for talking about it?"

I sighed. "No thanks, Babe. I've said everything I have to say."

"Okay," He smiled, patiently. "It's just you've been quite distant since that day. I guess we're all just a little worried about you. We know you're missing Bill"

I flinched at the mention of his name. "I think I'm gonna go to sleep Babe."

"Wait, are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah mmm hmmm," I faked a smile, jumping out of his foxhole. "Night night."

I walked back to my empty foxhole.

……………………

_BANG_

I couldn't have been asleep for longer than 25 minutes before a particularly nasty barrage of shelling rained down on us. Reacting instantly, I hunkered down in my foxhole, hands over my head and ears, praying and hoping for the best. My heart pounded and pounded. It felt strange to be in these positions without Bill throwing his body over the top of me. Suddenly, the voice of someone crying out "Medic!" rang through my ears and almost terrified, I peered over the top, to find a soldier lying on the ground, face-down. I couldn't tell who it was, but I made out the shape of Eugene running towards him and threw myself down into the foxhole once again. After the shelling stop, I waited in my hole for a good 20 minutes (listening out for anyone who needed urgent medical assistance) until Lip assured us it was safe. Knowing that duty called, I climbed out and began to make the rounds, seeing if everyone was ok. Walking around, I came across an empty foxhole. I knew what that meant and it wasn't a new thing for me, but it was the strewn about body parts and bits of innards that made gasp. Direct hit. Looking around, I almost threw up instantly at the sight of an entire severed leg just outside of the hole. Bad memories. Putting it to the back of my mind, I looked around at the nearby foxhole. I had to cover this up, there were just some things it didn't do the guys any good to see. I set about collecting any branches I could find, which wasn't hard thanks to the Germans.

"What are you doing?" Eugene asked, coming up behind me.

I pointed to the hole and everything surrounding it. "I don't think they should see this. I wonder who the poor bastards were."

"It was Muck and Penkala," Eugene told me, looking down at the ground.

"Oh," I said, instantly wishing I could take back what I just said. And then the realisation that two more of my friends were dead it. "_Oh_."

"Never gets easier, does it?" Roe asked, rhetorically.

"I don't know, Gene," I said sadly, looking down as I picked up more branches. "Unfortunately it seems to get easier every time."

"Here, I'll help you," He started helping me collect branches.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" I swore loudly, looking down at a large splinter that had just gone into my index finger from a branch.

"Hey, what happened?" Gene asked, looking at my finger. "Here, sit down a minute and I'll see to that."

"Gently," I begged, as he pulled the splinter out and made a fresh snowball to hold against it.

"Sorry, is that okay?" He asked. I nodded. "So how are you handling Bill being gone?"

"Sorry Gene, I'm not up for talking about it, if you don't mind," I sighed, apologetically.

"Oh, that's okay," He said, looking down at my finger as he worked. "It's just, you know…I thought that after Christmas in Bastogne that we could talk, you know?"

"We _can_ talk, Gene," I assured him. "But this is different. I've never been in this kind of situation before so these feelings are all new to me, and the more I think about it the more it all seems to really sink in. So, I think I just need to deal with this on my own."

"No problem," He said, smiling earnestly even though the atmosphere seemed to have turned a little awkward. "Let's get that hole covered, shall we?"

We collected the branches, making awkward small talk.

…………………………

"I hesitate to use the word asshole," Babe said, honestly.

"I wouldn't hesitate to call him that," Perconte spat out.

"It just feels like it's going to be suicide," Babe said, frustrated.

I was in Babe's foxhole along with him, Chuck and Perconte. They were talking about Dike, the Commanding Officer. Obviously he was incompetent and unreliable. I was lying on my back, however, pretending to be asleep. It wasn't a conversation I wanted to get involved in. Sure, I felt the same as they did, but I couldn't see what good it did to talk about it so much, as all the guys seemed to do. It was fruitless. In reality, however bad a choice it had been to put him in the position, Dike _was_ our Commanding Officer, and no amount of whinging was going to change it. It seemed like talking about it just seemed to get the guys all riled up in all the wrong ways, which couldn't be good, in my opinion at least, for keeping a level-head.

"Tomorrow's the day, I guess. The attack on Foy," Chuck said.

"It just feels like we're so weak now, losing some of our best guys like Toye and Guarnere," Perconte said.

I sat up at this point. They looked at me with wide-opened eyes, stuttered and then started talking about sports.

"Uh, I wonder who made the cut for the Eagles this year," Babe said, his eyes darting around.

I rolled my eyes and lay back down again. They didn't have to act differently around me. Turning my head to the side, I spied Malarkey sitting alone in his foxhole. Poor guy, he really looked like he could use a friend. I stood up and walked over to his foxhole.

"Hey Malark, mind if I sit with you? You look like you could use a friend right now," I asked, standing at the edge of his foxhole. "I guess we have that in common now."

"Look, Fiona, I appreciate it, but I'm not really in the mood for talking right now," He told me, truthfully. "I can't…I can't take people asking me how I am anymore. I don't even know how I am."

I smiled, it was kind of nice not to be the only confused sod in the Ardennes. "Phew, that works for me then because…well…ditto. If you'd indulge me, I'd really like to sit in silence with someone and not talk about how I'm feeling."

He looked at me for a few seconds and then moved over to create a space. "Take a seat."

Climbing into the foxhole, I sat opposite him. We didn't say anything, we just looked at each other, sympathetically. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Silence. It was bliss.

………………..

Any silence I received the day before I should have savoured more than I actually did because there was certainly no silence going on the next day, the attack on Foy.

All of the guys were on edge, mostly worried that Dike was leading them to their deaths. A legitimate fear, I had to agree. Emotions were running high, and a lot of them began picking petty fights with each other, which had to be intervened and broken up. My day began in my foxhole, where I was going through the supplies in my pack to make sure that I had everything.

"You all set?" Gene asked, dropping into my foxhole.

"More or less, " I told him. "I'm thinking I'll probably need more bandages than I have but I'll make do."

"Me too," He said truthfully, then went silent.

"You come to give me orders, Gene?" I joked, ending the silence.

"Yeah," He gave me a little smile.

"Winters tell you where he wants us?"

"Yeah, he wants the medics to hang back with the Officers until it's over. He said according to his plan, the attack should be quick and he says better the medics stay back until its over instead of having dead medics lying in the field," He told me.

"You can see his point," I said, joking.

……

On the edge of the forest, the men of Easy stood, ready to attack. I felt for them, it couldn't be easy going into an attack that was so in the open that you knew not all of you were going to make it.

Suddenly, Dike ordered them to get going and they were off, except the new recruit Webb, who stayed rooted to the spot.

"I'm terrified," He said out loud, to no one in particular.

"Get going!" Winters shouted, pushing him out. He suddenly sprang into action, running to catch up with the others.

Gene, Spina, an assortment of other medics and myself watched as the men ran out into the field. Reaching into my pack, I pulled out a set of binoculars.

"Where'd you get those?" Gene asked, momentarily taking his eyes off of the field.

"I borrowed them from Bill once. Never got the chance to…to...return them," I said, a little sadly.

"Hang on, are they stopping?" Gene asked, incredulously looking out into the field. "Why are they stopping? What's going on?"

I looked through the binoculars. "Oh my God, Dike just stopped. What the hell is he doing? What is he doing? Oh my, what IS he doing?"

"I don't know, you're the one with the binoculars," Spina said, dryly. "You tell us."

"Ok, you see that huge bail of hay there," I said, pointing. "He's just sitting, leaning on it…practically in the foetal position. What the hell…"

"GO FORWARD!" Winters screamed out nearby. I looked over at him, having never seen him so steamed.

"They're all gonna die out there if he doesn't do something," Spina said, stating the obvious.

"Oh, okay now Foley is running over to him," I said, trying to adjust the binoculars to see better. "Okay, a lot of guys just seem to be huddled around him…but no one is doing anything."

"What an idiot," Gene muttered under his breath.

"SPEIRS GET YOURSELF OVER HERE!" Winters shouted.

I watched as a man I'd never seen before ran over from D Company, who were assembled nearby.

"GET OUT THERE AND RELIEVE DIKE AND TAKE THAT ATTACK ON IN," Winters shouted at him, livid.

Whoever he was, the guy didn't need a second telling, and we all watched as he ran out with reckless abandon towards Dike. I watched, totally transfixed by what I was seeing.

"Look, look, look!" Eugene poked me in the ribs, indicating at my binoculars.

"Oh, sorry," I said putting them back up to my eyes. "Okay, he's there. He's there and…wow, he's totally commanding the situation. Okay, we're on the move again. Moving…moving. Ok they're close…they're in. Well, on the edge anyway. And now…oh my Lord!"

"What? What?!" Eugene asked, pressing me further for information when I didn't respond right away.

"He's…that guy who just ran in…Speirs? He's running right into a big band of infantry by himself. Shit, he's a dead man, surely! Why is no one shooting at him?!"

"Is he dead?" Spina asked.

"I don't know I can't see him anymore. Fuck, there he is!" I said, moving to get a better view, and slapping Eugene's arm excitedly with my other hand. "He's running back, he's actually running back! He managed to get all the way there and back without getting shot once! Who the hell is this guy, Eugene? I think he's my new hero!"

"I'll tell you later," Eugene said, dragging me to my feet. "We better get ready to move."

……………….

Later, we spent the night in a convent in Rachamps. It was so strange to be indoors again after so long, and I sat on a pew, letting the warmth wash over me. I was tired but, looking around at the men, we all were. I'd never seen such an even mix of elated and deflated faces.

"Hey, Fi," Roe said, coming over to me. "Can you sit with Perco for a minute while I go get some more bandages? Make sure he doesn't change his position."

"Sure," I said, standing up and walking over to Perconte, who was lying on his stomach along a pew. I patted him affectionately near the rump (tho I was aiming for the small of his back) as I passed by. "Where ya hit?"

"OOOOOOW!" He cried out.

"Oops, sorry," I said, flustered. "But I guess that answers my question, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," He replied, dryly.

"Mind if I join you?" Babe said, standing in front of me.

"Sure," I said, patting the pew beside me. "Tired?"

"Beyond exhausted," He said, yawning.

"You should sleep while you can," I told him sympathetically. "But, before you do, I just want you to know that I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting. I didn't mean to be so distant with you."

"It's okay," He smiled. "You're an education to me. You and my ma are the only girls I've ever gotten to know on an emotional level, otherwise it's only ever been physical. So I'm learning about the emotional pattern of you ladies."

"Nice," I smiled. I looked up at the door of the convent to find Lieutenant Speirs walking in. "Hey, Babe, what do you know about that guy?"

"Him? That's Lieutenant Speirs. He's a platoon leader in D Company…or at least he was until today," Babe told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You didn't hear? He's our new C.O," Babe explained. "Looks like he's gonna be sticking around a bit longer. I just hope that means the rumours aren't true."

"Rumours?" I asked. "What rumours?"

"There are a bunch of rumours about him, no one _really_ knows if any are true. Apparently he shot 20 POWs on D-day, just lined 'em up and _bang, bang, bang_." Babe said, making little gun motions.

"No way," I said, not really believing it, myself.

"Apparently so, and they say he shot someone in his platoon for being drunk," He continued.

"Geez," I whistled, and looked over at Speirs. "I don't know if I believe that. But either way, what I saw him do today was damn impressive. Nothing short of brilliance, to be honest."

Suddenly Roe ran back over to me, throwing a bandage in my lap. "Fiona, can you take of Perconte? Hashey's sling just snapped over there."

"Sure," I said, even though he'd already gone. I picked up the bandage he handed me but it slipped out of my hand and began to roll along the ground. I jumped up and began chasing it. Someone stopped it with their foot. I looked up to see Lieutenant Speirs. Who sharply picked it up and handed it to me.

"Thank you, Sir," I said, taking it out of his hand.

"Yours?"

"Yup, just fixing up Perconte over there," I told him. "I'm Fiona, by the way, a medic here in Easy."

"I know who you are," He said simply. "I've heard all about you."

"All good things I hope," I joked.

"Well that depends. If you can call distracting soldiers away from their line of duty a good thing, then yes…all good things," He said, sarcastically.

"I…I'm sorry?" I squeaked. "Sir, I think you've been misled, I…"

"But then that's what happens when you bring women into the army…where they don't belong," He interrupted me. "I've never thought it was right, bringing a woman _here_."

"Sir, I'm sorry you feel that way but I can _assure_ you that I am more than qualified to be in this regiment," I tried to convince him.

"Well I disagree," He stated.

I stopped, not really knowing what to say. "Well, Sir, I'm sorry you feel that way. If there is any way that I can change you mind I…"

"Prove me wrong," He said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You heard me," He said, then pulled rank on my before walking away. "That'll be all, _Miss_."

I watched him walk away, utterly flabbergasted.


	16. Chapter 16 Hagenau Part 1

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

NOTE- I'm loving writing this story! I have a plan for how it's all going to go but if you have any suggestions please let me know.

…………….

Driving into Hagenau on the back of that truck, it felt as though we were being herded like cattle on the way to the slaughterhouse. I noticed that Hagenau was a lot like the men of Easy. It was what I imaged was once a beautiful place, but constant shelling had torn the heart right out of it leaves rows and rows of empty shells of buildings. I wondered if the architects who'd planned and built it hundreds of years ago would have even bothered if they' know that one day it was just going to get blown to shit. Yes, Hagenau was a lot like the men of Easy. The trials of a solid month in the midwinter spent living outdoors in the Ardennes had evidently taken it's toll on everyone. Looking around me, all I saw were men with what seemed like spirits so broken that I wondered how they were going to make it through the rest of this war. They were so different from the proud, excitable soldiers I'd known them to be in Aldbourne, England. All I saw now were men who were hungry, tired, dirty and in desperate need for some of the higher ups to cut them some slack and give them a break. Nonetheless, already heroes.

"Yeah, where is Guarnere?" He still your platoon Sergeant?" A voice interrupted my thoughts. Looking up, I saw a guy in a fresh uniform had climbed onboard.

"No, he got hit," Came the dry reply.

As the bus came to a stop Babe, seemingly a little agitated, stood up. "Yeah, Bill got hit. Blew his whole leg off."

I felt my eyes water, and pushed past Babe and the new guy, jumping off of the truck.

………………….

"We got the penthouse, huh?" I said sarcastically as we were led into an upstairs apartment for the time being.

"Ooh, bunk beds" Liebgott pushed past us all.

"You're a simple man, Lieb," Chuck sighed, shaking his head slightly. "A simple man."

"Bet you he wants the top bunk," I joked, whispering to Chuck.

"Top bunk!" Lieb cried out, literally almost a nanosecond later. Chuck rolled his eyes at me.

"I'll settle for the bottom," I yawned, rolling out on one, but sitting back up again when I heard people enter. Two men walked in, one very tall and one smaller than him. The smaller one I recognised instantly as the guy from the truck. I felt like I'd seen him before. "Hey Babe, who's that?"

"That? He'll be the new Lieutenant," Babe told me.

"What? No, not him. The Private," I said.

"Oh, sorry. Him? That's David Webster. You met him already in Aldbourne, remember?"

"Not really," I said, honestly.

"He got wounded in Holland," Babe told me." Maybe you didn't talk to him much. He's been gone a while."

"Guess so," I said, laying back down. The new lieutenant started talking to Malarkey about a patrol that night.

Lieb leaned over from his top bunk. "Hey, Web…c'mere."

"What?" Webster asked, walking over.

"This kid out of high school, yet?"

"He's outta West Point," Webster told him.

I sat back up and looked at our new lieutenant, tall and sort of gawky looking. "Doesn't really strike me as Military School material, really."

"Nope," Chuck agreed.

"What do you know about the patrol?" Lieb asked Webster, getting to the point of what he really wanted to know about.

"I can't talk about it," Webster said.

"Start talkin'," Lieb commanded.

"If I tell you, you can't let on that you know," Webster said, almost mischievously.

"Who do they want?" Babe asked, noticeably nervous.

"Four of you here," Webster said, looking first at Babe. "Heffron."

"Shit," He said, putting his head in his heads. I offered him a sympathetic smile.

"McClung, Ramirez…," Webster continued, and then looked at me. "…and someone called Anderson."

"Me?" I near-squeaked. "They want me?"

"Oh, sorry," Webster said, frowning. "I don't know, that's just the names they said."

"But you're a medic, why would they want you?" Babe asked. "Who would choose you?"

"I can think of someone," I said, dryly, lying back down and rolling onto my side to face the wall. Babe patted my shoulder.

………………..

During a time of such bleakness, I found that I tried to use any little positive thing to perk myself up. That's why, despite what a bullshit idea it was for me to go on this patrol, the fact that we were having showers cheered me up. Not to gross you out or anything, but I hadn't realised it was possible for my personal hygiene to involuntarily slip to such depths. It wasn't so bad because we were all filthy so you couldn't really distinguish anyone's particular odour or grime. Nonetheless, we all relished the prospect of a _semi_-hot shower.

"C.O wants Grant, Liebgott, Wynn, Shifty from 3rd and Webster," Malarkey rhymed off they names of the other men going on the patrol as we waited outside the showers.

The new kid, who'd joined towards the tail end of our time in the Ardennes, Wynn, stormed off in a huff.

"I guess he's not yet been broken far enough that he's reached the stage where you just accept things without question," I half-joked.

"Guess not," Babe said. "He's a good kid though, his heart's in the right place."

"I still don't get why they want you on the patrol," Chuck said, coming up behind us as we moved up the line. "No offence but our camps are so close that more people with guns would be nice."

"I know, right," I rolled my eyes. "I mean, what am I gonna do when I come face-to-face with a German? Whip a sticky bandage at his face and hope it covers his eyes so I can run away?"

They laughed as we moved right outside the showers.

"Easy 2nd, you're next!" The Lieutenant co-ordinating the shower schedule shouted.

The men started to undress. As usual at these times, I looked at the floor, trying not to look. We'd spent so much time together that you'd think it wouldn't matter, but, you know, there still had to be _some_ boundaries. Luckily Captain Winters, when he'd been the C.O, had recognised this and allowed me to have a shower myself after all of the others guys had had theirs. So I remained fully clothed as the other men around me become nudey…and yes, months and months of non-stop physical activity will make a soldier's body ripped beyond all belief. I couldn't fail to notice that, I was still a woman after all!

"Why aren't you getting ready for the shower, Sergeant?" The Lieutenant said, looking down his clipboard at me.

"Sorry, Sir, it's just I usually have mine after everyone else. So I can hide my shame," I said, trying to make a joke out of it.

The Lieutenant obviously didn't find it funny. "I don't have that written down here."

"Sir, she's always allowed to shower alone because she's a woman," Babe cut in, defending me.

"Look we're on a schedule here," The Lieutenant said impatiently, showing me his clipboard. "I don't have it written on my clipboard and in fact, Captain Speirs insisted all Easy members shower in their platoon groups and it says here on the bottom 'No Exceptions To Be Made'"

I couldn't believe it. "But…"

"Look, Sergeant, either you shower with your platoon or you can go talk to Captain Speirs in that building over there," He said, pointing. "But you're wasting time right now."

"I'll go talk to him, Sir," I said, livid. _I'll go talk to him, alright._

……………

Walking determinedly into the Easy CP, I found Lip lying down on a couch. He jumped as I burst in suddenly.

"Lip, have you seen Captain Speirs?" I asked.

"Through there," He pointed, weakly.

I marched through to find Captain Speirs looking out of the side-facing window. "Captain Speirs?"

He turned and looked at me coldly. "Yes?"

"Could I have a moment of your time, Sir?" I asked.

"Be quick," He said, sitting down and looking up at me.

"Sir, we're having showers outside," I began.

"That didn't manage to skip my attention," He said, dryly.

"Well," I continued, ignoring his comment. "When we had shower, Captain Winters let me have mine last, after the men. I was just wondering if I could have your permission to do that now?"

"Captain Winters isn't in charge anymore," Speirs said, as if I didn't know that.

"I realise that Sir it's just, as a woman, I'd just like a little more privacy if I'm going to be disrobed," I said, trying to be as tactful as possible and trying desperately to keep my tone in check. No matter how much I wanted to shout at him, I had to remember his rank was higher than mine. Much higher.

"Remind me, Sergeant, are you a member of Easy Company?" He asked me, almost sarcastically.

"Yes, Sir," I said, on cue.

"And is it true that you joined Easy of your own accord?" He continued.

"Yes, Sir," I replied, my voice growing a little more terse.

"Then I can only conclude from that that you knew the situation you were entering into when you joined and, therefore, I don't think it's justifiable for you to expect special treatment of any kind."

"Sir, please, I…"

"You want to be a member of my company?" He asked, raising his voice.

"Yes, Sir," I replied, defeated.

"Then I'm going to treat you like I would any other member of Easy. Captain Winters may have made allowances for a _woman_, but don't expect me to, Sergeant," He said, sternly. "So your options are as follows. You either show now, with your platoon, as I ordered earlier today or you don't shower, and wait until the next time we have showers," He said, then added sarcastically. "…or until you find the nearest Hilton. Dismissed."

Looking into this man's eyes and then looking at the ground, I knew there was nothing else that I could say. This man clearly had it out for me and, because of his rank, there was nothing I could do. Swallowing the lump in my throat, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, I turned on my heel to walk out of the door.

"Oh, and Sergeant?" He said, calling me back.

"Yes, Sir?" I near-whispered.

"You know you're going on the patrol tonight?"

"I am aware of that yes, Sir,"

"Good," He smiled unpleasantly. "Now run along, you don't want to miss your allocated shower slot."

…………..

I walked out of the Easy CP and made my way back over to the showers. A few members of Easy were still standing outside the shower whilst the rest had gone in. I made my way over to them, seriously not looking forward to what was coming.

"What'd he say?" Babe asked as I approached them, already in his skivvies. I ignored his question as I started to remove my top layer of clothing. "Jesus."

The remaining soldiers in the queue started whistling and cat-calling as I removed my socks and army pants, revealing nothing underneath but a pair of too-big PT shorts. This was the first time these men had seen any kind of naked women in either a long time or, for some, ever…what else did I expect them to do?

"Shut up!" Babe shouted down the line at them, then turned back to me. "Look, you don't have to do this. Stop. You can go over Speirs' head and talk to Winters."

"No, it's alright, Babe," I said, knowing I had a point to prove to Speirs.

The cat calls became too much for me as I went to remove the white PT t-shirt underneath my shirt. I knew that all I had on underneath was my bra. I'd never felt so embarrassed and ashamed in my whole life

"Off! Off! Off!" The men in the queue started to chant.

This couldn't be happening. A tear rolled down my cheek. The guys still outside the tent from 2nd noticed this and Malarkey grabbed my arms.

"Okay, come here," He said, leading me inside the shower tent and into the corner.

"What the hell?" Liebgott said out loud as I came in, he'd already been mid-shower for quite some time.

Malarkey took off his vest and gave it to me. "Put this on for your shower."

"Thanks," I muttered, taking it and turning my back to them, making as discreet a bra-off-vest-on switch as possible. I walked to the furthest away shower and stood underneath. As nice as the water felt on my skin, it couldn't wash away the embarrassment. I was feeling at the men in my platoon who I'd come to know as friends over the last few months looking at me agog, looking at the first naked female they'd seen since leaving the States. I couldn't judge them, this is just how men operate. It still filled me with shame though.

"Eyes to the wall, fellas," Babe warned as Malarkey and Chuck stood covering the door so that no one could look in.

Babe turned to face me. We stood staring at each other for a few seconds, the water running over our semi-naked bodies. Truthfully, if I hadn't been feeling so embarrassed I would have described the situation as strangely erotic. I noticed he started to look at me strangely and I began to wonder why…then looked down to discover he'd been trying to hand me a bar of soap the whole time.

"Uh, thanks," I said quickly, taking it and turning away from him, snapping out of the moment. As I scrubbed my body, I tried to scrub away the realisations I was having that Babe was really a very attractive man. Was I blushing?

………………………..

Afterwards, as we all gathered outside to dress, any regret I'd had about exposing myself to a large number of men in the regiment melted away as I experienced the sheer bliss of a feeling clean again and slipping into a fresh uniform. I began to do up the button on my new clean shirt. I watched Captain Speirs walk over to the arms stand nearby with Winters in tow.

"Miss the wet t-shirt competition, did we?" A Sergeant I recognised from D Company said as he walked past me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Speirs laugh slightly to himself.

"Fuck you," I said harshly to the Sergeant and then slung my pack over my shoulder, trying to look as nonplussed as possible as I walked past the Captain, saying loudly: "Well, I feel much more refreshed now."

As I started to walk off Babe ran to catch up with me. "Where ya headed?"

I laughed and turned the question on him. "Where _you_ headed?"

"The rest of the guys are off to see Luz, he's sorting out the new delivery. Wanna come and see if we can snag some Hersheys?"

"No, it's okay," I told him. "I think I'm gonna go to the apartment and bunk down for a while before the patrol meeting. You go though."

"Nah, it's okay," Babe said, slinging his rifle over his shoulder. "I'll come hang with you if you don't mind?"

"Feel free," I said, feeling a little strange about that actually after our shower "moment".

We walked into the apartment. I sat on a lower bunk and he flopped down roughly next to me, making me bounce and hit my head off of the upper bunk. "Ow!"

"Sorry," He said, but burst out laughing. "Does it hurt?"

"Uh…yeah," I rolled my eyes, but laughed too.

"Let me see," He said, moving closer and tilting my face to look at my head.

"It's fine," I said suddenly, moving away.

"O…kay," He said, frowning and reaching for a nearby magazine. "So why'd you decide to shower then anyway? You coulda gone to Winters like I said?"

"To prove a point," I told him, laying my head down on the pillow and accidentally kicking him in the back as I brought my legs up to lie on the bed. "Sorry."

"Point to who?" He asked, lifting up my legs and placing the, across his lap.

"Speirs," I sighed. "He doesn't seem to like me very much."

"How d'ya figure that?" He asked, concerned.

"Because he flat-out told me he doesn't agree with women in the army," I replied.

"Jeez, but you know a lot of people in the army will have the viewpoint?"

"Of course," I said, taking the magazine off of him and flipping through it for a second before throwing it on the floor. "But the difference is this is the first time anyone has really voiced it to me in such a firm way."

"You know, if he's bullying you you can talk to Winters about it," He told me.

"I know I can, but I don't want to "run and tell Winters". He's just testing me is all. I asked him how I could change his mind and he told me to prove him wrong. So I figure that's why he's treating me like this. The whole thing with the showers and sending me on the patrol tonight. Maybe he figures it'll make me a stronger person," I mused.

"Maybe," He said, concerned. "But, Fi, there's a difference between someone making you a stronger and just bullying you. You know that, right?"

"I want to show him I can make it here," I said, firmly. "Whatever he throws at me I'll rise to."

"Ok, but I'll be keeping an eye, just so you know," He said.

"I figured as much," I rolled my eyes and smiled at him.

"Honestly, I was impressed you did the whole shower thing today. I don't know a lot of girls with the nuts to do that," He said, showing his approval.

"Well I didn't expect you to know _any_ girls…with nuts," I said sarcastically, smiling.

"Smart-ass," He said, flicking my leg. Then added, knowing it would embarrass me. "It probably boosted morale amongst the guys too, to be honest, seeing a gorgeous body like that."

"Shut up!" I cried, my cheeks flushing red.

"What, about the guys staring at you or the gorgeous body comment?" He asked, laughing at the fact I was so embarrassed. "It was the gorgeous body thing wasn't it?"

I nodded, crimson.

"Well you do have a gorgeous body," He said again, laughing.

"Stop saying that!" I cried, unable to look him in the eye.

"Stop saying what? Gorgeous Body?" He said, having _way_ too much fun with this.

"Babe!"

"Ok, sorry I'll stop," He said, grinning mischievously. He was silent for a few more seconds and then: "Gorgeous body."

I play-punched him in the arm, moving my legs from his lap and sitting upright. "You're not funny!"

Okay, okay, okay," He said, trying to stop laughing. "I'll stop."

"Good," I said, trying to whiten my cheeks by fanning my hand over them.

He picked up the magazine again and opened the back page. "Hey, a crossword puzzle. Wanna help me?"

"Sure," I said, desperate to change the subject.

"Okay," He said. "1 down. Two words, the first is eight letters long and the second is four letters long. The clue is "A physique which is considered to be pleasant and/or above average". Any ideas?"

"Hmm," I said, not getting the joke at all at first. "A physique which is considered to be pleasant and/or…BABE!"

He burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but your reaction…it's so funny. My sides hurt. They _actually_ hurt."

"Good, I hope you laugh so hard your damn sides burst open," I said, yanking the magazine out of his hands.

……………

A few hours later, we were assembled for the patrol meeting. All of us sitting around a dining table in what was clearly once the dining room of a very well-off family. It was almost a sad sight to see the soldiers with their feet up on it so disrespectfully.

"He can't be leading!"

"No way, not on his first day," Chuck remarked, looking at Lieutenant Jones standing at the doorway.

"You see any other officer here?" Lieb asked, sarcastically.

I looked at Lieutenant Jones and felt so incredibly sorry for him. Looking back on it now I wished I'd said something in his defence. It was so rude for the guys to be talking about him as though he wasn't in the room. Him. A _Lieutenant_. But that was the issue the men had and I could understand where they were coming from. Why is it fair that someone graduates from West Point, does menial, safe tasks and falls into the position of Lieutenant when there were guys like him busting their humps out on the line, in danger every day. Guy who genuinely had to _work_ their way to the top.

"Well, if he aint in charge it's you, Chuck," Said Babe. "Or Shifty, or Mo."

They all shut up though as Winters entered the room along with Speirs and Johnny Martin.

"As you can see we've gathered 15 of you here for this prisoner snatch, tonight," Winters began, scanning the room at all of us. His eyes rested on me. "Fiona? You're going on the patrol?"

"As ordered, Sir," I replied.

Winters paused and turned to Speirs. "Your orders?"

Speirs nodded.

"Sorry to interject, but I really don't think a medic is necessary on this patrol tonight," Winters said to Speirs. "Gunman are what we need. Fiona, I think you should hang back from this patrol tonight."

"Uh…if that's what you think is best, Sir," I said, feeling a relief inside of me. But then I paused. "But I'd feel bad if someone were to take my place and…"

"Don't worry about that," Captain Winters reassured me. "We have more than enough replacements who are just dying to prove themselves in the field."

"Okay, Sir. As you order," I said, standing up out of my chair.

As I walked towards the door, I suddenly felt worse about Captain Winters' decision, because the look Speirs gave me as I walked past him was so nasty and sharp that it could have cut glass. Surely I was going to pay for this, even though it wasn't my fault. I couldn't help but wonder as I walked out if Captain Winters, in an act of kindness, had signed me up for a more difficult life within Easy Company under Speirs.


	17. Chapter 17 Hagenau Part 2

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Note- according to wikipedia, in the US the card game is called "Old Maid" so I used this because the characters are American. I don't know if it's correct though, so if I'm accidentally talking about two different card games. I'm sorry lol. I'm from the UK, we call it "Scabby Queen" here :p.

…………………………..

That evening, the men going on the patrol were understandably quite tense. So close to the end of the war, a lot of them were feeling it would be extremely bad luck to have made it this far and die now. All they could do, though, was wait.

"What are you doing?" I asked Babe, looking down at my cards. "Why are you taking my cards?"

"What?" He asked distractedly, then looked down at the deck. "Oh, sorry. Aren't we playing poker?"

"Old Maid," I smiled. "But we can play poker if you like."

"Nah, it's okay," He said, setting down all his cards on the table.

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying to keep his mind occupied.

"Yeah," He said, standing up. "Sorry, I don't wanna be rude, but I think I'm gonna go sit on my own for a while."

"Okay," I said, understanding totally, watching him walk away.

"Want some?" Malarkey came up to me, holding out a pot.

I wrinkled my nose at the smell. I joked. "Gee, Malark. What's on the menu tonight? Smoked salmon? Lobster Thermidor?"

"Beans," He said, simply.

"Mmmm," I said, smiling and holding out my tin cup.

I watched Malarkey walk over to the new lieutenant, sitting alone in a chair. I guessed this must have been his first mission, as he was sitting like he didn't really know what to do with himself. Poor guy. I watched Malarkey offer him some food, which he refused. Spying Babe sitting alone in the corner, I walked over to the new Lieutenant.

"Sir?" I asked tentatively. He looked up. "I just wanted to apologise on behalf of the soldiers today at the meeting. They were really out of line."

"Doesn't matter," He said simply, as he took a ring off of his finger and went to attach it to his dog tag.

"Family ring?" I asked, pointing to it.

"Class Ring," He replied.

"Oh, from West Point?" I asked.

"Yes," He said. "We got them in our senior years."

"I remember hearing about the ring tradition at West Point," I said. "They make a whole weekend out of it, don't they?"

"Yes, it's called the "Ring Weekend", when all of the seniors get presented with their rings. There's a big ceremony and it's a weekend of fun festivities," He looked down, sadly. "It was a good time.

"Sounds like it was," I said, sympathetically. "May I see it?"

"Sure," He said, handing it over.

"No Mission Too Great," I read aloud the class motto written on the ring, beneath the crest. I handed it back. "It must be very important to you."

"It is," He nodded.

"With all due respect, Sir, you might not want to be taking it with you tonight on your dog tag," I told him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, say something should happen to you. I'm not saying it will, but in case it does, you don't want the Krauts getting their hands on it. If you want I can hang onto it for you whilst you're over there."

He looked at me warily.

"Better it get back to your family, right? Than going into a Kraut pocket," I reasoned.

"You're right," He said, handing me the ring, which I tucked safely into my pocket. He took out a pen and started scribbling on a piece of paper. "If something _does_ happen, can you make sure it gets back to here?"

"Absolutely," I said, taking the paper from him.

…………

Later that night, it was time for them to go. Everyone was involved, so I figured it was best that I left them to it, wishing them all of the luck in the world. I made my way back to the apartment 2nd platoon were staying in. I lay down on a bottom bunk, drumming my hands on the wall, feeling useless sitting there doing nothing when the other men were out risking their lives. I went to the window, looking out restlessly to see if I could see anything. Nothing. I decided I couldn't stand waiting anymore, and turned to leave. There must be something I could do to help. Turning on my heel, I stopped when I saw Perconte standing at the door.

"Hey," I said, walking towards him. "When did you get back?"

"This afternoon," He said, giving me a friendly cuddle, but stepping back when apparently I hugged too hard. "Ow."

"See you're not totally healed then, huh?" I said, smiling. "I swear, you lot here see recommended recovery time as a challenge, don't you?"

"We are the best," He laughed, sitting down on the bed very slowly, wincing.

"So wait," I said, sitting opposite him. "If you got back this afternoon why aren't you out providing covering fire with the rest of the battalion?"

"Not allowed to fire my weapon until my discharge papers from the hospital are sorted out," He told me.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"Don't look at me," He laughed. "I don't understand it either. So I hear I missed quite an entertaining shower session today?"

"You missed nothing," I said, laughing but looking at him with my best "Don't take this any further" stare. Yes, apparently you _can_ encompass all of that in one stare.

"So, how are doing out here?" He asked me.

"In general?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'm doing alright," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Missing Bill?" He teased.

"Naturally," I blushed.

"It's funny. I just know he'll be sitting over there in Philly wishing he was back here with us. I'll bet you he's getting a serious case of restless feet…," He stopped, looking flustered. "Uh…foot. I'm sorry, Fiona, you know what I meant."

"It's okay Perco, don't worry about it," I smiled.

"Here, " He said, reaching into his pocket and handing me a bar of chocolate. "Snagged it from the delivery today."

"Aww, thanks Perco," I smiled, putting it in my pack.

We heard a mass of gunshots coming from outside. I guessed the patrol must have been in full swing. Perco and I wandered up to the window, looking out.

"You think we should go down there and try and help?" I asked.

"Honestly, I don't think there is much we could do."

"I guess you're right," I said, casting one last nervous glance out of the window before moving back to the bed and sitting down. "So, Perco, tell me all about being a Postman. What's that like?"

"Oh, it's thrilling," He said, opening his eyes with delight.

"Really?" I asked.

"…no," He said, dryly.

………………….

Groggily, I opened one eye and saw it was light out. Looking at my watch, it read 5.20 a.m.. I looked over and saw Perco, wounded ass facing upwards, snoring loudly on the bottom bunk across from mine. Yawning, I got up, wondering how the patrol had gone.

"Baseballs and cheeseburgers, are you CRAZY?" Perco suddenly cried out in his sleep, making me jump and fall off of the bed.

"Damn it Perco," I whispered, so as not to wake him.

I set about making a big pot of coffee for the guys when they arrived back, whenever that would be. Looking out of the window, I saw nothing. Five minutes later, when I was stirring the coffee into the water, I heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs. No talking, just footsteps. I turned around to see some of 2nd platoon walking into the room. No one looked happy, just exhausted and very down. Perconte woke up as they walked in.

"How'd it go?" He asked. No one replied.

I looked around at their faces, all of them wearing the same expression. I knew that expression. I'd seen it several times before. "Who died?"

"Jackson," Babe said, walking past everyone and into the back room of the apartment.

"Oh," I said, looking down. Poor Jackson. "Did you get any prisoners?"

"Two living ones, one dead…I think, anyway," Chuck said, rubbing his eyes.

I didn't really know what else to say to console them at this point. "I made some coffee for everyone. Help yourselves."

I poured some into my cup and went into the back room to find babe. I found him with one hand on either side of a ceramic sink, staring out of the window.

"You okay?" I said, handing him the coffee. He took it.

"Not really," He said, sighing. "Watching Jackson die like that, so slowly, was terrible."

"But you've seen men die before, Babe," I reasoned.

"I know that, but this was…," He started.

"…a little like watching Julian die?" I asked.

"Yeah," He admitted. "And also that it could have been any one of us."

"That's true," I told him. "It could've have been anyone. But, you can't think like that. We can't know when it's our time to go. You just have to do your best, and make sure you've lived your life as best you can when the time comes."

"Mmm hmm," He said, leaning against the sink.

I decided to leave him alone for a while to drink his coffee. I had to go help Eugene at the aid station, anyway. Before I left, I put my hand in my pack, pulling out the chocolate and putting it in his chest pocket. "Just in case you need a little cheering up."

"Hey, Fi," He said, as I walked away. I turned back. "Are you always going to give me chocolate when I'm feeling down?"

"Long as you don't abuse it," I said, winking at him as I left.

………………………..

Crossing the street to the medical centre, I ran into Lieutenant Jones on his way back to the apartment.

"Morning, Sir," I said. He nodded. "Good to see you made it unscathed."

"Well, not all of us did," He said, sadly.

"Jackson," I said, smiling sympathetically. "I heard."

"Shame," He said, sadly.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out his ring, offering it to him. "I believe this belongs to you."

He looked down at it. "You'd better keep it one more night. We're doing another patrol tonight."

"Oh," I said, wondering who the hell ordered that.

…………………..

I spent the rest of my day in the aid station with Eugene. We'd decided not to unpack the medical supplies that had travelled on the trucks with us. We wouldn't be here long enough for that. Instead we spent the day inventorying, making sure that we left with had made it here successfully. Gene wasn't very chatty, and I could understand why. It's tough when you try so hard to save someone and then watch them die in your arms. I decided to leave conversation until he was ready. Mid-afternoon, and I was sorting through some papers. A loud groaning sound rang out from outside.

"Did you hear that?" Gene said, coming in from another room.

"Yeah," I said, walking up to the window and looking out. "I thought I heard it a few times earlier, but I wasn't sure. But I _know_ I heard that. Who do you think it is?"

"I think it's one of the German Prisoners they tried to capture last night. One got injured and they left him on the bank," Gene told me. "I swear I've thought I've been hearing it all day."

"He sounds _really_ bad," I speculated.

"Yeah," Gene said, frowning. I'm not really sure if I can take it. "Maybe I should go put him out of his misery."

"What?" I asked, looking over from the window.

"Put him out of his misery," He repeated.

"No you won't," I said confidently, walking back over to my clipboard. "You don't have it in you. You're not a killer, Gene. Never could be."

"He should die sl-sl…slowly," Private Cobb hiccupped as he walked in, accompanied by Johnny Martin.

"He drank a whole bottle of wine and started running his mouth," Johnny said, annoyed. "He's being taken away for discipline, but they won't come for him until he's sobered up. Can he sleep it off here?"

"Uh," I looked over at Eugene.

"Yeah, sure," Gene said. "We got some spare beds in the back."

"Thanks," Johnny said, shoving Cobb roughly into the room before leaving.

"Fucking ASSHOLE," Cobb shouted out, waiting until after Johnny had left.

"Yeah okay, Mouthy," I said, leading him to a made bed. "Move it."

………..

"Gene, I'm leaving," I shouted through to the other room, reaching for my coat. "Are you sure you don't want me to take the night shift?"

"No, it's alright," He said, coming through to see me off. "I don't think I could sleep tonight anyway. Besides, I know I'm not a killer, but maybe I can at least beat Cobb around a bit if he gives me any lip."

I smiled as I walked to the door. "Night, Gene."

"Goodnight."

I walked out into the evening. It had just gotten dark and the cold was already setting in hard. I wondered what time the men would be setting off at this time. Poor guys, I knew that all they'd really want to do tonight was sleep, especially after the previous night and losing Private Jackson. I was walking back to the apartment when I noticed that the figure walking in front of me looked fairly familiar.

"Babe?" I called out. He turned round. It _was_ Babe. "What are you doing here? What about the patrol?"

"Cancelled," He beamed at me. "Winters took care of it. I don't know how, but I aint gonna complain."

"So where were you headed?" I asked. "Back for a sleep?"

"Yeah," He said, as it started to rain. "There are guys in the main hall playing cards if you're interested but I was feeling a bit tired."

"Well, If you want to get a good sleep I'll go…," I stopped as the rain suddenly got much heavier and pelted down on top of us. "Jeez!"

We stood there for a few seconds, the heavy rain coming as a bit of a shock. Then we both burst out laughing.

"Two showers in two days?" He laughed. "How lucky are we?"

"I know, right?" I laughed. I pointed in the direction of the 2nd Platoon apartment. "Apartment?"

"Yes, please," He said, and we took off running.

Inside the apartment, we both stood there dripping onto the floor, making puddles at our feet.

"We should put our PT gear on and dry these uniforms for tomorrow," I said, slightly unnerved by the silence.

"Uh, yeah," He said.

"I…I'll go in there," I said, walking to the kitchen as fast as I could. In the kitchen, I stood over the sinking breathing heavily. That was an awkward moment. I started to unbutton my wet shirt when what looked like an airing cupboard caught my eye. Opening it, I saw a stack of towels. Excited, I took two out. When life gives you lemons…

"Babe!" I said, shouting through to the other room. "I found towels! How lucky is that?"

I opened the door to hand two to him, screamed and dropped them on the floor. Staring face-to-face with a naked Babe. He rushed to cover himself up as I stood stunned for about a nanosecond before running back into the kitchen, shutting the door and leaning against it, breathing heavily.

"I'm so sorry," I shouted through the door. "I didn't expect you to be undressed already."

"It's okay," He said. "Don't worry about it. See you in a minute."

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," I whispered over and over to myself as dried myself with the towel and put on my PT gear. I hovered at the door for a while.

"Ok, I'm decent now," He laughed from the other side. "I promise."

"O-ok," I stuttered, pausing my hand on the doorknob for a moment before opening it nervously. I walked out and sat on the bed opposite him.

He looked over at me. "What are you doin over there? Come and sit with me, will ya? Why are you so embarrassed, you saw me in the show just this very morning."

"I know, I know," I looked down, red-cheeked. "But that was like _naked_ naked."

"Look, it's not a big deal. It was an accident. Let's forget all about it, unless you promise to tell all the ladies what you saw and that you liked it," He joked, giving me a smile that instantly made me calm down and relax.

"And when did I say that I liked it, exactly?" I asked, going and sitting next to him on his bed.

"Right there when you opened the door you said "wow, Babe, what a body! You're an Adonis!"," He joked.

"Liar," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

We lay down side by side and began to chat.

"I can't wait to get home," He said, excitedly. "I'm really starting to feel like this is all coming to an end here and soon we can go back to Philly."

"Too right, I can't wait. I'm gonna have the biggest cheeseburger ever when I go to the diner down the road," I said, excited at the prospect.

"You serious? The first thing you're gonna do when you get back to Philly is have a cheeseburger?" He looked at me, laughing.

"Of course," I asserted. "Okay, well maybe not the _first_ thing. You know I'll see my family and friends, and Bill too, obviously. But then…cheeseburger!"

Yeah, Bill…," Babe trailed off, as if he was just remembering him. "Will you just promise me something?"

"What?" I asked, anxiously.

"Just don't get your hopes up too high about Bill right now. I'd hate for you to be disappointed when you get back," He told me, earnestly.

I sat up. "Why would I be disappointed?"

"No, look, I didn't mean it like that. All I'm saying is, you know, things change. You'll have been apart for a while and you might both feel differently. Do you…do you think there's a chance you could, you know, feel differently about him?" He asked, quietly.

"Honestly, Babe, not at all. He told me he'd be waiting for me and, call me an old romantic, but I _really_ believe him. I trust him so much," I insisted.

"Ok," Babe said, and left it at that.

"What about you, Babe?" I asked, changing the subject. "You got a girl back home?"

"Do I got a girl?" He repeated.

"Oh, sorry," I joked. "Should that have been _girls_?"

"You think so lowly of me," I asked, mock-offended.

"No, I think you're just charming enough to pull that kind of thing off," I dug him lightly in the ribs.

"Well, when you're right you're right," He laughed, then turned serious. "But no, no girl. No girl for Babe."

"Don't worry," I told him. "Wait until you go home a war hero. The girls'll be all over you then."

"I guess…," He said, unenthusiastically, yawning.

"Besides, you never know who you might…," I looked over and realised he was fast asleep. I decided I really ought to move over to my own bed, but then I felt my own lids growing heavier and heavier until I, too, fell asleep.

……….

Groggily, I opened one eye. It could only have been about an hour later. I didn't care about the time though, at first anyway. I felt so happy, all curled up in someone's arms. It felt like when I used to wake up in the Ardennes, wrapped up in Bill's arms. Looking over, I realised that it was Babe and the memory of falling asleep while we were chatting flooded back to me. Somehow we'd entangled ourselves up in each other during the night. Suddenly I was very aware of how this must've looked. Looking around, I realised the others hadn't come back yet from playing cards. As gently and quietly as possible, I detached myself from Babe and the warmth and crossed over to my own bed…where I never slept a wink all night. It had reminded me too much of being with Bill, and that made me miss him so much.

…………………..

The next day it circulated around the guys that we were coming off the line. The mood in the entire company did a complete 180 and, as we loaded up the trucks, everyone was laughing and joking again. It was a little like being in Aldbourne and Holland again. My mood lifted too, as Liebgott helped me onto the truck and we waited for it to start up. Looking out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lieutenant Jones coming up to shake hands with Johnny Martin. I smiled at the scene, before remembering what I had in my pocket.

"Lieutenant Jones," I shouted after him, rushing to the edge of the truck as he began to walk away.

"Yes?" He turned back.

"I almost forgot," I said, handing the ring over to him.

"Oh, thank you!" He said, opening his eyes wide. "Do you know I had totally forgotten about this?"

"Well, don't lose it," I said. "It's a mark of everything you've achieved….in West Point and the other night, from what I hear."

He smiled at me and nodded, before turning to walk away.

"Lieutenant!" I called out again. He turned back. I took the piece of paper with his parents' address on it out and ripped it up. "I guess you can give it to them yourself now."

"I will," He smiled, and walked off.

I settled back into my seat.

"What was that about?" Babe asked, interested.

"Nothing," I smiled, and leaned across to get Perco's attention. "So, Perco, cheeseburgers and baseballs, huh?"

"What?" He asked, confused.


	18. Chapter 18 Ladies and Women

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Germany. After weeks of inching closing and closer, we were finally in Nazi Germany, the home of the Third Reich. This evoked a mixed set of emotions for everyone. Some were nervous to be in Germany itself, not knowing what to expect. Others were happy at kicking German ass in their own country. The rest, myself included, were happy because being in Germany was like taking that final step to end the war…and that meant being one step closer to getting home.

The place we were in was called Sturzelberg, which was an area of the town of Dormagen, in the North-west of Germany. Untouched by army forces until now, it was the first town we'd come across that hadn't been bombed to hell. As such, the town we drove into was idyllic and not too far off from the town some of the other soldiers lived in back in the States. Surrounded by rural farms, we settled in the town centre. The elder of the local inhabitants weren't at all thrilled by our presence, as we strolled in and stayed exactly where we wanted to. This forced a lot of town centre inhabitants into staying with families in the rural farms. The younger inhabitants around our age (and by that of course I mean the German girls, because all of the German men were, well, off fighting) seemed thrilled at the sight of muscley soldiers arriving in their town. I wasn't sure what they were saying as we drove in, but for the local girls I'm pretty sure if you translated whatever it was into English it would be "The Candy Shop is Open" or something to that effect. The guys, of course, had no problem with this. With hardly any German threat nearby, the soldiers had free run of the town and the girls who sailed in her. What that meant, essentially, was lots and lots of sex. It might sound like I'm coming across as jealous or whatever, but I genuinely wasn't. It just seemed wrong to me, on both sides, that you could _justify_ sleeping with the enemy. It seems politics and war can easily change the way you view another other nationalities and race, but sex has a unique ability to render cancel out any beliefs you lay claim to.

……………………..

It was a sunny day and we were sitting outside eating breakfast at tables and chairs. For once, we were almost starting to feel like we were on holiday. It seemed Germany had managed to retain quite a high standard of living for itself during all of this. _But at what cost_, you couldn't help but wonder.

"Aaaaah, a whole day off. I don't think I've ever known such joy," Luz said blissfully, leaning back on his chair in the sunshine. A leggy girl with blonde hair walked past. "Ok, _now_ I have never known such joy."

I rolled my eyes. "Pig."

"Hey, I am not a pig. We've paid our dues over the last few years, done our bit. Now I think we're more than entitled to reap the rewards. The rewards which are, apparently, these beautiful German ladies." Luz defended himself.

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes and tilting my face up to the sun. "Just be careful with those wild oats you're so keen to sow, Luz and all of you, in fact. Just imagine the varied mixed-nationality children that'll be knocking on your doors in 18 years time."

"Whatever," Tony Garcia smiled mischievously. "I'm all about creating and promoting diversity. In fact, as none of us are on the lookout rota, I say we go out tonight to the local Beer Hall. Might as well have some fun whilst we're here, huh?"

"Oh yes, I'm definitely up for that," Luz agreed, clapping his hands together.

"Count me in," Said Hashey.

"Babe?" Luz asked. "You in?"

"Sure, why not," Babe said, spooning food into his mouth. "Fiona, you wanna come?"

"No thanks," I said, dryly.

Luz laughed and dug me in the side of the ribs. "I think she's just jealous because the only eligible men here are all 40-plus and hate Americans."

"Wrong, smartass," I stuck my tongue out at him. "Besides, I'm not even looking for a guy, as you well know. No, today I plan to do nothing at all besides sit out and enjoy the sun."

"Anderson!" A voice shouted out. I looked up to see Speirs glaring down at me.

I stood up and saluted. "Yes, Sir?"

Speirs pointed over to a nearby building and handed me a key. "This is the key to that building there. Spina and Roe are busy and I need someone to gut out the entire place. Then we got 20 boxes of medical and food supplies in that truck over there. I want them loaded in there. You do it."

My eyes bulged open at the prospect but I tried not to show it too much. "Yes, Sir."

Speirs glared over at the rest of the men. "I don't want any of you to be _persuaded_ into helping her. You men here have one day off before going back on the lookout rota, so I want you rested."

I watched as he walked off. "Oh well, I guess I'm not going to be getting _any_ sun at all today, after all."

"The strange thing is," Luz said, shaking his head. "He's actually a really good Commanding Officer. He just seems to hate you…a lot."

"Yeah, well," I said, sighing and standing up. "Unfortunately I can't help being a woman. See you later guys, have a good day."

…………..

Opening up the large oak bolted door, I think I stepped into a garbage dump. All I could see were boxes and other various bits of trash everywhere. What? Did Speirs intentionally choose this place because it was the biggest shit-tip he could find? First, I had to move all of the garbage out and then move in the 20 food and medical boxes, unpack them and store it all away. This was going to take me _all_ day! Tying my hair back, I got to work, cursing Speirs' name.

…………..

EIGHT hours later and I was finally finished. Finished, shattered, starving and ready for bed! I collected my things together and headed for the door. As I was about to leave I heard a knock on it.

"Hello?" Speirs called out, opening the door and walking in.

"In here, Sir," I called out.

"Very good, Sergeant," He said, looking around almost impressed.

"Th-thank you, Sir," I said, wondering if this was some kind of trick.

"However, Sergeant, it turns out that we'll be moving out tomorrow so I'm going to need you to hang onto that key overnight so that you can come back here bright and early to load up all these boxes again," He said, deadly serious.

"Tomorrow?" I said, exasperated. "I mean. No problem, Sir."

"Good," He said, before turning on his heel and leaving.

When I was sure that he was gone I let out an almighty scream into the air. That bastard. He knew we'd be leaving tomorrow and he made me unpack all of the boxes anyway. I felt like slamming my fist into the wall. I was livid and angry…and in desperate need of a drink. Where did the guys say they'd be drinking that night?

…………

I walked around the streets of Sturzelberg, looking for anything that resembled a Beer Hall. Eventually I came across Liebgott standing outside.

"Hey, Lieb!" I called out, running over to him.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. "You look a little flustered."

"I'm okay. I might kill Speirs though, so be wary of that," I said, frowning. "Is everyone else in there?"

"Yep, they sure are," Lieb said, yawning.

"You not coming back in?" I asked as I made for the door.

"No, they've started entertaining their lady friends already and I'm not sticking around for that. No way in hell am I giving the time of the to a Nazi woman," Lieb said, firmly.

I paused and smiled sympathetically. "I can understand that. It's kinda funny though. Out of all of the guy, you're the one who has the best chance at an actual conversation with these women."

"Yeah, well they'll never get a piece of The Lieb," He said, throwing his cigarette butt on the floor and slinging his rifle around his arm.

"That's true I said," Pausing before opening the door and laughing. "By the way, I;m afraid I can't support you on that nickname."

Entering the deceptively large-inside Beer Hall, Easy Members were easy to identify. I just had to look for the crowd of guys surrounded by the group of giggling blonde girls. Rolling my eyes, I walked over to them.

"Hey! It's Fiona!" Luz called out, already slightly under the influence. "Did you change your mind about those over-fifties?"

"Haha, Luz," I growled. "Get me a beer, please."

"Wahey, that's the spirit!" He cried out, and handed me the biggest mug of beer I'd ever seen.

I sat on a stool at the bar and looked around me. I could see Garcia, Luz, Hashey, Talbert and Bull all talking to German ladies one-on-one whilst the rest of the guys sat at a nearby booth, also accompanied by a group of ladies. I couldn't help but wonder how they hell they were all managing to communicate! Distracted by an angelic giggle nearby, I looked over to see an absolutely gorgeous, curly-haired blonde suggestively touching Babe's arm as she chatted to him. Suddenly, I was aware that I was a bit of a spare part in the Beer Hall that night. Plus, I was feeling quite intimidated by all of these beautiful women. Looking down at my beige dirty, torn, army uniform, I realised what a mess I must look. I was starting to not even feel like a woman anymore. Placing my beer on the counter, I stood up and started to walk towards the door.

"Hey, where are you goin?" Babe called over to me, excusing himself from the woman's company and walking over to me. "Are you okay, you look terrible."

"Oh, thanks," I said, sarcastically. That was just what I needed to hear.

"I mean you look like you've had a hard day, is all," He explained. "Come on, go sit down and I'll bring your drink over and we can talk about it."

"No it's okay," I smiled. "You're with that girl over there. We can talk later, okay?"

"No, come on," He insisted. "I'm not with her. Come sit with me, please?"

"Okay, " I relented, walking over to a free two-seater table.

"Thanks actually for not going," Babe said, setting my beer down on the table. "She was coming on a little strong."

"Really?" I asked. "Does she speak English?"

"Yeah. Her name is Uta and she lives here," He told me.

I looked over at her, to find she was staring right back at us, almost challengingly. "She is incredibly beautiful. Why do you care if she was coming on strong? Isn't that a good thing for you sex-deprived soldiers? "

"Hey, don't tar me with the same brush that you tarred these other guys with," He said, defensively. "Maybe I don't want it handed to me on a plate."

"That would make you a truly remarkable man, Heff," I joked.

"You finally noticed," He said, dryly. "Okay, tell me about your day. Was it awful?"

"Oh my God Babe, you wouldn't even believe it. I spent EIGHT hours doing everything Speirs asked me to only for him to show up at the end and tell me, get this, that we're moving out tomorrow and that I should get up early so that I'll have time to repack everything I unpacked today," I said, putting my face into my hands, frustrated.

"Are you ser ious?" Babe asked, his eyes growing wide. "What an asshole."

"Yeah," I said, sadly, finishing my drink. "So I guess I'd better get going and get some sleep before I have to get up."

"Wait," He said. "Stay for one more drink, huh?"

"Ok," I said, liking the idea of more beer. "I'll go get them."

I walked up to the bar and ordered two more beers, with the help of Webster's German knowledge. As I waited Uta walked up to me.

"Hello," She said, offering her hand to me. "I am Uta."

"I am Fiona, a friend of Private Heffron's, " I said, shaking her hand.

She pretended to be confused. "I am confused. You are woman. Yet, when you come in a while ago, I was sure that you are man."

"No," I said, through gritted teeth. Like she didn't know that. "I'm a woman."

"Oh, I was confused is all. You look like a man in those clothes, drinking that beer," She said, smiling sweetly.

"Oh well, we all make mistakes," I said as friendly as possible, handing over the money for the drinks.

"Listen…Fiona," She said, leaning into me. "I would very much like to know better Private Heffron. If you don't mind, maybe you leave us alone for a while?"

Part of me had to admit a slight jealousy at the thought of two of them alone together, but more than anything I didn't want to leave my friend with this vile witch. "I'm sorry but no. Private Heffron and I are having a drink at the moment."

"But we were talking before you came here," She argued.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not actually keeping him from talking to you," I pointed out. "He's doing that all by himself. Good Evening."

I walked back to our table with the beers, setting them down.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, bothered. "Let's just drink these and go, okay?"

………………

At that time, the Beer Hall happened to be closing anyway, and we all prepared to leave, putting on our jackets. As we left, we were approached by the elegant Uta and some of her other friends. George and Garcia went up to her two friends, evidently leaving with them that evening.

"Well, Private Heffron," She purred. "It seems my friends want go away with your friends. I have no one to walk me home. Would you like walk me home?"

Babe looked around nervously. "I don't think so."

"Say, I could always walk you…," Hashey started to say.

"I don't want you to walk me home," She said, dismissing him. "I only want Private Heffron."

This lady was just the icing on top of a _fantastic_ day. I'd had enough of her. Lacing my fingers between Babe's, I moved in closer to him. "Actually, he's walking _me_ home tonight. In case you didn't notice we are together."

"We are?" Babe squeaked. I dug him in the ribs. He put his arm around my shoulder. "Uh, yes. We are most definitely together."

"Oh," She said, her face falling as we tuned to walk away. "Then I must ask, Private Heffron, why you choose to be with a man?"

I turned round. "Excuse me?"

She smiled. "A woman in the army? I have never heard of such a thing. This woman is no more a woman than you are, Private Heffron. Look at her! She is wearing trousers, is all dirty, has her hair tied back and she was slurping beer in there. It's disgusting. _She's_ disgusting."

Feeling several sets of stunned eyes on me, I felt very insecure but angry as I dropped Babe's hand and walked towards her. Looking down at her I grabbed her hand, exposing a wedding ring to everyone. "I'm disgusting? You have a husband. What would he say about all of this? So don't you dare call _me_ disgusting. I may not look very womanly at the moment whilst I'm putting _my_ life on the line with every one of these guys trying to correct the evil created by _your_ country but at least I know I have a decent set of morals inside that justify me in calling myself a _lady_. Can you say that about yourself? Huh? I'm disgusting? _You're_ disgusting".

My cheek flaming red-hot, I turned on my heels and ran as I felt the tears spill down my cheeks. Ignoring the other guys calling after me.

………………………….

I ran back to my single-bed room and slammed the door, breathing heavily as I tried to recapture my breath. It'd been a long time since I'd spoken to anyone like that and I couldn't even tell whether it had made me feel better or worse on the whole. I sat in front of a tiny mirror that had been cracked at some point, probably during the previous tenant's protest at leaving. I let my hair down and shook it loose. I looked at my face, knowing that the trials of war had hardened it. I was forever changed from the soft-faced girl from Philly I'd once been. Uta might have been a bitch but she was right about one thing, I was starting to feel less like a woman, uglier and less desirable. I know it shouldn't have bothered me at a time like this…but it did.

_Knock, knock._

"Who is it?" I called out.

"It's Babe," Came the reply.

I sighed. "Look Babe, I just want to sleep okay? I need to get up early. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Please, let me in for a minute," He persisted.

I relented, walking over to the door and letting him in. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," He said, worried.

I sat on the bed and folded my arms. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"Yes," I said, my lip trembling.

"What's up?" He asked, hugging me. "Is it about what she said."

"Maybe," I sobbed. "I know it's superficial but what if she's right. South Philly is going to be full of beautiful young girls who are still in prime condition…what if Bill doesn't want me anymore?"

"What, are you kidding me?" Babe asked, tutting. "Listen to me, if Bill Guarnere doesn't want you when you go back to South Phill, then he's crazy. Because you're beautiful."

"Well," I said, nervously. "I'm no Marlene Dietrich…"

"No," He said, pleadingly. "You don't understand. To me, you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Shut up," I said, playfully hitting him and trying to laugh it off.

All of a sudden, I felt his hand run through my hair as he tilted my chin towards him. Oh no…I knew what was coming. Why wasn't I stopping it? His lips touched mine gently and I let them stay there gently for about two seconds before I jumped back. "What are you doing?!"

"What, I-I-I," He started to stammer, going right red. "I'm sorry. I thought you wanted me to."

"Babe, what about Bill?" I asked, shaking.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," He said, standing up and running out of the door. I watched him go, stunned and rooted to the spot. Did that really just happen? Did I really just let that happen?

……………………..

I didn't sleep at all that night, which in a way worked in my favour because at least I didn't sleep in for my early start packing boxes. Yawning as I walked towards the shortest ever lived Easy store cupboard, I put my hand in my pocket to get the key…and panicked when I realised that it was missing. I rapidly started checking all of my pockets, until a white slip of paper caught my attention from under the door. Bending down I picked it up and read it:

_You can go back to bed for a few more hours. Job's all done. _

_Slipped the key back under your room door._

_Babe. _

I smiled to myself. Confused as I was about what had happened last night, I knew that Babe was still a good guy really. Turning on my heel, I did exactly as instructed- I headed back to bed.

………………………….

A few hours later I gathered my stuff together to go and join the convoy of trucks waiting to transport us to wherever the army needed us next. Whilst the rest of the men were in high spirits, singing out army songs, my stomach was full of butterflies. I knew that at some point that day, Babe and I were going to have to talk about what had happened.


	19. Chapter 19 Crumbling

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Apparently Babe and I wouldn't be having said conversation at that time. When he climbed onto the truck, he sat as far away from me as possible. Which, okay, I didn't argue with because I would've rather talked about it when he was ready. I simply caught his attention and mouthed "Thank You" for packing up the boxes. He offered me in return nothing else but a small smile, before turning his head away and staring out into Sturzelberg for the last time. Finally, the trucks kicked into action and we were on the move again. But to where exactly I wasn't sure.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked out loud.

"Bavaria?" Webster replied.

My eyes lit up. "Really, where in Bavaria?"

"No idea, why?" Webster asked.

"Maybe I can get some weisswurst there. I had a neighbour that made it for me once and he said they eat it in Bavaria," I explained. "It was delicious."

"What is that?" Perco asked.

"It's a white, German sausage that's made from bacon and veal," Webster explained, then reaching into his bag and pulling out a tin. "Damn, all this wurst talk has made me hungry now."

"So what are you guys gonna do after we get home?" Liebgott asked.

"I guess I'll finish school," Webster said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Me too," I agreed.

"You study?" Webster looked over at me, raising one eyebrow.

"Don't look so shocked," I laughed. "Yes, I studied. I was training to become a teacher. I was pretty close to graduating too, before I came out here."

"Teacher of what?"

"Languages. I studied French and Spanish," I said.

"Geez," Liebgott whistled. "I just assumed you were a nurse back home, too."

I laughed. "No, no. All that I learned for coming out here."

"Hmm, I think we should ask for our money back," Perco joked, scrubbing at his teeth with a toothbrush. "We should've had someone more experienced."

"Oh thanks, Perco," I rolled my eyes. "I don't need to be more qualified to be able to tell you that you're probably doing more damage to your teeth by brushing them all the time."

"What?" He asked, leaning over to spit. "How'd you figure that?"

"Well, because you're scraping away the…y'know…the…well I don't know _exactly_ but it cant be good," I said.

"Point proven," He laughed and scrubbing a little harder.

…………

After driving through miles and miles of beautiful, fragrant woodland we finally came to a stop in a small town nestled in the middle. As I hopped out of the truck I was just gushing. I'd never seen such a beautiful little town in my whole life. Philly looked _noting_ like this. Rows of cute little cottages lined up row by row. It was exactly the kind of town I would have liked to have settled down in one day…and I didn't even know what it was called. The residents didn't look too happy to see us as we rolled in, but this was a reaction we'd long since come to accept.

As everyone else was settling in, I took it upon myself to sneakily attempt to double-check the boxes that Babe had repacked for me, just in case he'd missed anything out. I walked as discreetly as possible behind the truck that they were in and opened the flaps, mentally checking off everything inside.

"What? You didn't trust me to do a good job?" A voice said behind me. Babe's voice.

"What?" I turned round quickly. "No, of course I trusted you. I was just…"

"double-checking I did it right?" He repeated again, instantly.

I laughed. "I'm just pernickety. Can't help it."

"I noticed that," He said, sitting on the edge of the truck.

A few seconds passed in silence. "You know, Babe, you didn't have to do it. Thanks, though."

"I had a lot to make up for," He said, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry, Fiona, I had no right to…"

"It's okay," I interrupted. "Alcohol and emotion never go well together."

"Uh…yeah," He said. "I just wasn't thinking clearly."

"It's okay," I said, opening another box. "We should probably try and forget about it."

"O…okay," He said, looking down again. "So did I forget anything?"

"Nothing as far as I can see," I said smiling and joked. "If I find anything though, I'll let you…"

"EVERYONE IN THE TRUCKS! NOW!" Major Winters' voice rang out loud and clear.

……………

After being herded into the trucks, they quickly rolled away. No one knew where we were going, driving at breakneck speeds through the forest. Suddenly we came to a clearing, driving up to what looked like some kind of animal pen…but with people inside. People who were all wearing identical sets of what looked like flannel pyjamas. No one understood it, but we all leaned forward in our seats to get a closer look. As we climbed off and walked closer, we all began to notice at the same time that these people looked strange. Something definitely wasn't right here. They were pale, gaunt, tired and, suddenly becoming very evident to us all…starved.

They opened the gate and we walked tentatively through. They began walking towards us, their hunger and exhaustion making them walk almost zombie-like. It was awful. Gene and I looked at each other, and then set about seeing what we could do.

I walked around almost aimlessly, not really knowing who to help first. How could you differentiate when they were all in equal need? I didn't need to make that decision as it happened as an elderly man about three times my age staggered up to me, crying and talking rapidly at me in German. He was tugging at the bottom of my coat. I stood frozen to the ground for a second, not really knowing how I could possibly help. Then I snapped out of it and reached for my water bottle, handing it over to him. He near-snapped it out of my hands and began fumbling with the top, dropping the entire thing in his haste. Giving out a long excruciating sob, he fell to his hands and knees, trying to pick it up. Crouching down, I reached for his fumbling hands and made him stop. I then picked up the bottle and screwed off the top. He sobbed and lurched forwards, falling into my arms in gratitude. Slowly I raised the bottle to his lips, slowly pouring the liquid into his mouth, in very much the same style that a mother feed her baby. As he drank, I looked ahead, opening my eyes in shock as I realised there were literally hundreds of more men than we had originally seen, emerging from tiny cabins built in rows further up. I looked to my side and saw the other soldiers trying to help the crying men. Most of the Easy soldiers had been reduced to tears themselves. I'd never seen anything like it. To my other side, I saw Captain Ronald Speirs standing rooted to the spot, his face absolutely crestfallen, not knowing what to do. I'd never seen him show that kind of emotion. In a way it scared me more because, although I didn't know what it was I was witnessing here, I knew it must be big if it had reduced Speirs to _this_.

…………………

About an hour later, the majority of Easy had gone back into the town to gather up any food that they could find to bring back for the men here. I had a feeling that, after seeing this, the majority of the soldier would almost take a great pleasure in ransacking the town. Just desserts, that kind of idea. I'd stayed, along with the officers and other medics, to further help out in any way that we could. I found myself in the first of the little cabins, trying to help people up and outside to wait for the food. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, as some were lying dead, some were still alive and others were half of each. I often found myself talking to corpses for about five minutes, just to be sure.

"Speirs?" Major Winters asked, poking his head around the door.

"No, Sir," I called back. "Just me."

"Have you seen him?" He asked, sounding harassed.

"No, Sir," I said, apologetically.

"I need to see him right now, but I have to go talk to Colonel Sink too and…," Winters started.

"I can look for him if you want, Sir?" I offered.

"Would you?"

"No problem, Sir," I said. "I'm sure he's in one of these cabins helping out. I'll find him and tell him you need him ASAP."

"Thank you," Winters said, and left hurriedly.

I helped one last man out of the Cabin, turning back round to the others and telling them I'd be back soon. Then I realised, sadly, that they probably couldn't even understand me. Setting him down the with others, I set off in search of Speirs in a cabin-to-cabin search. When I got to the third cabin, I opened the door and shone in my torch…to find Captain Speirs huddled in a ball on the floor, crying. I looked at him, shocked to see _him_ like this. I didn't judge him for it, though. We were all feeling it.

"Fiona!" the Major shouted from the gates. "Found him yet?"

I looked at Speirs who looked back at me, with panic in his eyes. Calmly I shut the door. "No Sir, He's not in any of these Cabins!"

I went back to help the men out of the cabins, realising that if this is what Speirs was feeling they must have been feeling it 100 times worse. As much as I'd thought Bastogne was like hell on earth, being in here made me realise how wrong I'd been. This place was Hell.

……………………

When we got back to the town that night, I think we were feeling drained of all emotions. We'd been ordered to lock the men in the camp back up, to keep them in one place until we could have them taken care of properly. Naturally, they hadn't taken kindly to the news, most of them hurt as they'd seen us a their salvation. We were, of course, but they just couldn't see it yet, blinded by hunger and fatigue. Most had wept inconsolably, other tried to lash out, but inevitably the exertion had made their already-weakened bodies collapse in heaps on the ground. So yes, we were all feeling drained of emotional. Unable to cry anymore. Unable to process it in any way. Ousting a few families out onto the streets for the night (and feeling justified in doing so) we holed up for the night in some of the houses which, upon arrival, had seemed so idyllic to me. Now they just felt cold, and like they inhabited evil. Walking through the rooms looking for somewhere to bed down, I could hear the odd stifled sob coming from various soldiers all over the house.

"Psst," A voice sounded out. I turned to see babe, poking his head out behind a small door under the stairs. "Come in here."

I walked over and through the door to see a tiny box room with a camp bed set up in it.

"You can take the bed," He said. "I'll take the floor."

"O…okay," I said, tired. "If you don't mind?"

"I don't," He said, lying down on the floor.

I sat on the bed, shivering and feeling sick. "Babe, will you please come sit with me for a while?"

He looked up, noticing my shivers. "Sure."

He sat next to me, and wrapped the bedding around my shoulders. "I don't even know what to say."

"I've never seen anything like that in my whole life," I said, quietly. "I don't understand it at all. But then, I don't think I really want to understand it. It can't be good, whatever it is."

"Probably not," He nodded in agreement. "It's just lucky we managed to find them. I know we can't save them all, but we can at least save some."

I raised my eyebrows sarcastically as he put his arm around me to warm me up. "Lucky? It shouldn't have happened in the first place. There's just so much evil in this world. "

"I know. To be honest I've often wondered why the hell we're here. Never understood why this was _our_ war. But after today I see. I see why we fight," He said, looking down.

I snuggled into his chest, trying to shut the images out of my head.

"Feeling better?" He asked. "Want me to go back to the floor? I'll stay here as long as you need me."

"No," I said, honestly. "I'm feeling seriously needy right now."

He paused. "What?"

"Nothing, ignore me. Just craving affection right now."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, to the extent where I'm thinking it's a pity you didn't try and kiss me tonight. But please, ignore me," I said, instantly regretting it after saying it.

"What? Are you saying you want me to kiss you?" He asked, looking at me.

"No, no. I'm really sorry. My head's all over the place," I said, trying to laugh it off…but it came out as nervous laughter. "Please ignore me."

"O..okay," He said, unsure. "Don't worry about it. We're all in a crazy place tonight."

"Definitely," I said, trying to change the subject. "Anyway, I think we'd better get some sleep."

………………………..

The next day we were told that we would be moving out again late afternoon. When I woke up, I found that Babe had already gone. I sat up in bed, not knowing what else I could do but knowing that I wanted to do something. I set about collecting all of the towels and blankets from the three houses we'd set ourselves up in, piling them into one of the jeeps. I know that that's called stealing, but I didn't care. The people in this town had lost any respect they may have gotten from us, if any. Let's see how they liked sleeping cold at night. Hopping into the jeep, I drove to Landsberg, the camp. All of the town's inhabitants had been ordered to the camp to move the corpses. I guess the truth really does catch up to you.

After passing them all onto one of the medics there to give to the prisoners, I turned back to the jeep, pausing as I saw Liebgott standing at the entry gates on sentry duty, herding more German townsfolk into the camp. I was going to go over and chat to him, then I noticed he was violently barking out at them in German. He looked really irate and pale, it wasn't healthy.

"Lieb," I said, walking over to him.

"Oh, hey," He said, simmering down for a second.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," He nodded, triumphantly. "I'm havin' a great time today seeing this."

"Okay," I said, nodding. "But Lieb you don't have to shout at them like that. Much as I believe they knew the camp was here, this has to be quite a shock to them too. Plus, we don't understand anything about the camp yet, so until we do…"

"I understand everything about the camp!" He spat out. "One of them told me yesterday. Fiona, this is where they locked up Jews!"

"Wh-what?" I asked, shocked.

"That's right," He said. "Hitler poisoned their minds against people of my religion and others and _this… _this is the result. Normal, decent people locked up for doing _nothing_ wrong."

"Oh my God," I whispered, covering my mouth with my hand in disbelief. "I had no idea."

"So yeah," He said, lip beginning to tremble. "That's why I'm "barking" at these people."

"I'm sorry, Lieb. I had no idea," I apologised. "But you don't look good. You clearly haven't slept all night. I want you to go back to town and send someone out to replace you on duty here. I'll take over for you until they do. That's an order, Corporal."

"Yes, Ma'am," He sighed and jogged off to the jeep.

As I watched him drive away, Captain Speirs walked slowly over to me. "Sergeant."

"Hello, Sir," I greeted him, remembering the previous day.

"I just wanted to apologise for what you saw yesterday, and to thank you for what you did," He said, embarrassed.

"No problem, Sir," I said incredulously. He seemed like a _totally_ different man from the one barking orders at me.

"I'm also sorry for the way I've treated you since I took over Easy," He said. I could tell this was hard for him to say. "Truth is, I've only been pushing you so hard because…."

"…you wanted me to quit?" I asked, scared I'd hit the nail on the head.

"Well, honestly, I wanted to see if you would quit. I hoped you wouldn't. I hoped that it would strengthen you, make you better. Everything aside, I still don't believe women belong in the army but you've shown a respectable amount of endurance. Sometimes even more than me," He said, adding the last part quietly.

"Sir?"

"All this time I've been trying to make you physically stronger here, to put you on a par with us men. You might not be strong in that sense. But you're strong in other ways. Emotionally strong. You kept a level-head yesterday when I watched all of my other soldiers around you crumble…and when I crumbled, myself," he struggled to say.

"Thank you, Sir," I said, beaming on the inside.

"Well, Sergeant," He said, straightening up. "As you were."

"Sir," I said, saluting him.

He turned back and offered me a small smile. "Oh and Sergeant. I'm afraid this doesn't mean I'll be giving you any special privileges now.

"I'll never ask you to, Sir," I said, returning the smile.

As I watched him walk off, I felt a little more comfortable within myself. Although there was obviously no friendship there between us, at the very least I felt perhaps there was some kind of vague acceptance and understanding on his part. That was enough. Enough for now.

………………

Later that afternoon, we were loaded into the trucks again to be moved on. Our fleeting stopover in this town, although brief, was arguably one of the most impressionable. Certainly one of the most eye-opening. This time as we drove, there was no animated chat about what we'd do after the war. In fact, we didn't speak at all. Our previous feelings of sureness that we'd beaten the enemy and essentially won the war began to subside, realising that maybe we'd been too late all along.


	20. Chapter 20 Not Enough

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

April turned to May, and the weather began to heat up, creating a tantalising mix of smells in the air. Had we been here for any reason, it would have a most idyllic place to spend the spring/summer season. But, as it goes, we were here to do a job, which is how we found ourselves on the outskirts of Berchtesgaden, sitting around on a hot day whilst we waited for engingeers to unblock the road. I sat against one of the oversized wheels, pointing my face upwards towards the sun, figuring if anything I might get a tan.

"Aaaaah!" I cried out, as something dive-bombed into my lap. Looking down, I saw it was a letter.

"Oops, sorry," Private Vest said, slinking his shoulders. "You have mail."

"You know I didn't even notice," I said, sarcastically, excitedly reaching for my letter.

"Poor postman skills, Vest," Perconte shook his head.

"Hey, I aint no postman," Vest said, walking away, apologizing again.

Turning round, I let out a mini gasp when I saw from the return address that it was from Bill. As I fumbled to open, I wondered what tokens of love I'd find inside, what romantic sonnets…Ok, perhaps a bit too far. Ripping it open, I tipped it up and a pile of photographs flew out, flying everywhere in a flurry.

"Uh, you know they generally advise you to open letters facing upwards," Spina laughed, gathering the strays and handing them back to me. "What you got there?"

"Guess I need some more practice," I laughed, taking them back from him. "Bill sent me some photos."

I looked at them, seeing that he'd sent me photos of local South Philly places. A big smile spread over my face. I looked at each one, before passing them to Spina. The local Diner, The Park, Church, ponds…there was easily 20 photos here. I wondered how he'd manage to get a hold of these.

"Hey!" Spina explained. "You can see my dad's shop in this one!"

"Really?" I asked, looking at the picture and seeing "Spina's Pizzeria" emblazened over one of the doors in the background. "No shit. Wow, I used to walk past that everyday. Funny I never made that connection before."

"Best pizzas in town," Spina beamed, proudly.

"Hey Babe," I called out, as he walked past. "Look at these."

"Wow," He smiled, leafing through them. "Where'd you get these?"

"Bill sent them," I smiled.

"Wow, this one is right by my place," He said, looking excitedly at one.

Looking inside the envelope, I was wondering why he hadn't sent a note or anything. The closest thing was on the back of a photo of him grinning in front of the train station, he'd simply scribbled "Bill" on the back. It didn't really bother me too much, though. I was just happy for the correspondence from him. I felt that little bit closer to him.

………………….

You couldn't deny that Berchtesgaden was a beautiful town. One of the most beautiful I'd encountered in Europe, I had to admit. I knew it was only beautiful in externals though, imagining the evils done and the money plundered in order to build it.

We'd set up camp in the Berchtesgaden Hof, a large guesthouse designed for guests to stay in when they came to visit the Fuhrer, or just to visit the town in general. From first glance, I could tell that no expense had been spared in it's construction. The inside was furnished with the best quality woods, the most precious of metals and. Most noticeably, however, was the Hitler was everywhere- in busts, in photographs, in paintings etc. All this for a dead man.

The men were keen to get to and explore Hitler's Kehlsteinhaus (Eagle's Nest), and when the order was given they couldn't take off running fast enough. I didn't follow them, however. My curiosities willed me to a different location- Hitler's Berghof. I'd heard a lot about it from various people since arriving in Europe. It's was Hitler's home in Berchtesgaden, and he'd spent a lot of time there, entertaining and relaxing. I don't know why, but I felt like I had to see it. Imagine, then, my disappoint when I actually did manage to find it, only to find the building a ruin, semi-incinerated and still smoldering slightly. I figured the SS were responsible for this, guessing that if they'd been _this_ thorough, what secrets must have been in there that they had to hide. Walking further up towards the entrance, I noticed a swastika had been torn off of the flagpole, and lay in a crumpled heap on the ground. I stepped on it as I made my way up to the door. The closer I got I began to see empty bottles strewn about all over the grass. I bent down to look at them, learning that they were German labels. I guess those 3rd Infantry who'd been here a few days previously must have had themselves one hell of a party. _Good for them_, I thought. After being dragged all of the way out here, I guessed the least Hitler could do was buy them a drink.

I walked up to the front door, or what remained of it, anyway. Looking at it for a few seconds, I gave it a swift kick.

"That's for James…you bastard," I muttered, before turning away and going back to the hotel.

………………………

The next day I found myself with nothing to do. None of the men were being wounded so I had no one to tend to. I found myself exploring the hotel, ending up in one of the guest rooms. I was surprised to find that the wardrobe was full of clothing. A woman's clothing. I supposed whoever she was, she'd certainly had to leave here in a hurry. Thumbing through the skirts and blouses, I paused at a beautiful, black, knee-length dress, which was gathered in at the waist and had a V-shaped neckline. Holding it up against myself in the mirror, I thought it was the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen.

Suddenly, shouting and cheering from the main lobby downstairs interrupted my thoughts. Replacing the dress quickly I ran onto the balcony overlooking the Lobby.

"What's going on?" I called down, but no one replied. They were all too busy shouting, whooping and hugging each other in some kind of celebration.

"Fellas!" I called down again. Nothing.

I banged loudly with my hands on the banister. "WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

They stopped and looked up. Someone piped up. "The German army surrendered."

"They what?" I gasped, blood rushing to my head. "So it's all…"

"Yup, it's all over! The war is over…well in Europe, anyway!" Chuck shouted up to me. "Get down here!"

I squealed in delight. In my excitement, I jumped onto the banister and slid all the way down to the bottom, flying off and straight into an embrace with Perco.

"Finally, right?" He laughed.

"I can't believe it!" I said, covering my mouth. "We made it! We actually made it through!"

"Yup, and we're having a big celebration tonight, just so you know," Luz told me.

I smiled, contented. Finally, we all had a motivation for being positive and looking forward.

…………….

I was very excited at the prospect of a party. What better way to herald in the end of the war. I found myself back in that same hotel room, to get ready. Slowly pushing open the door to the bathroom, I clasped my hands together in delight as I saw what lay before me- an enormous, ceramic bathtub with delightfully shiny copper-coloured taps.

"Please, please, please," I whispered as I slowly turned the hot water tap. Success. Crystal clear water poured out and began to slowly fill the tub. "Yes!"

It was the first hot _bath_ I'd had in well over a year, and possibly the best one of my life.

After drying off, I sat down in front of the mirror. Rifling through the drawers, I decided it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I borrowed one of the gold lockets I found in there. Or a jeweled clip for my hair. Or some of the rose-scented perfume in one of the drawers. Looking at myself in the mirror, it seemed a shame to mix these fancy things with my weathered army outfit. I walked over to the wardrobe and looked at that same black dress. I wondered if it would be inappropriate if I borrowed it. _Ah, what the hell_, I thought to myself as I slipped it on. _I've earned it_. It was more or less a perfect fit.

I surveyed myself in the mirror. I worried that I might be overdressed. _Fuck it_, I figured. If you can't dress up to celebrate managing to stay alive and not die, then when can you dress up?

………..

I walked out onto the balcony, smiling over as I realised that everyone else was dressed in their dress suits. I began to descend the staircase amid a mix of cat-calls and "It's about damn time"s.

Babe's eyes opened wide as George tapped him on the shoulder and he turned round to look at me. Slowly he walked over to me.

"Look at me! I'm wearing a dress!" I squealed, excitedly.

"I noticed," He smiled, offering me his arm.

"I feel like a woman again!" I breathed happily as I took his arm and we walked out to one of the jeeps. He helped me into it. "Where are we going anyway?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you," He said, tapping his nose as if it was some secret. He climbed in next to me.

I wasn't buying it, I raised my eyes suspiciously. "You have no idea where we're going, do you?"

"Um…no," He admitted.

……………………….

The jeeps pulled up to a partly-demolished or only half-finished house (I honestly couldn't tell) about ten minutes drive away. The men began to file out of the trucks. I had no idea where we were.

"Hey Chuck," I said, sidling up to him as he seemed to know what he was doing. "What is this place?"

"This? This is Herman G**ö**ring's house," He explained.

"Oh, okay. Why are we here?" I asked.

"You'll see," He said, pushing open the double-bolted doors and leading us inside.

We all stopped, stunned.

We were standing face-to-face with an entire library of alcohols. Aisles and aisles of bottles seemed to go on and on.

"Chu…Chuck," Perco whispered, daring to say the words. "Can…can we drink this?"

"Yep," Chuck beamed.

It was like being handed the keys to the liquor store. The men didn't even spare a second before they took off running. I watched them for a second, amused, before sauntering off to look at the rosé wines.

……..

"Fiona! We're doing the toast! Get you _ass_ out here!" A voice sounded out.

I reached for the nearest bottle and ran back. "Okay, I got it. Where are the glasses?"

"Sorry, we appear to be out of champagne flutes," Perco joked, guzzling straight from the bottle. I realised everyone else was too.

"Fair enough," I said, uncorking my bottle.

"Ok, everybody ready?" Lieb called out. "A toast. TO VICTORY IN EUROPE!"

"AND GETTING HOME SOON!" Perco added.

"AND THIS ALCOHOL!" Shifty shouted out, giddy with it.

We look at each other, confused, before bursting out laughing and shouting out. "TO VICTORY IN EUROPE! AND GETTING HOME SOON! AND THIS ALCOHOL!"

…………………….

2 hours later and everyone was pretty drunk. Drunk in a way I'd never seen men drunk in my whole life. But I suppose they had something to celebrate this time, whereas before I got the sense that they were drinking to dull some kind of pain. I myself was heading towards a mere tipsy state, having finished off my bottle of wine. I didn't want to drink too much, though. Morning hangovers are the worst, especially when on the move.

"Luz!" I joked. He was dancing on the centre table, bottle in hand. "Get down off of the table! Also, if you're going to dance at least do a proper dance. Whatever it is your doing…r-r-right now…what you're doing. Wass'that?"

He stopped and stared. "You saying I don't have any moves?"

"Y-y…YES!" I slurred.

Fine!" He said, jumping off of the table and extending his hand to me. "Teach me to dance."

"You want me to teach you to dance?" I asked, my eyes practically spinning. Bad alcohol."

"Yes," He said.

"You want me to teach you to dance?" I repeated.

"Yes," He said again.

"You want _me_ to teach _you_ to dance?" I repeated a third time. Not really sure why to be honest. All I will say is…alcohol. It seemed funny to me.

"…YES!" Luz cried out, swinging his bottle.

"You want me…," I began.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I'm actually listening to this!" Lieb sighed, getting up and fumbling around for another bottle.

"What's his problem?" I said, bursting out into spontaneous laughter before getting to my feet. "Ok, Luz. Let's dance."

"Ok," He said. "Hey, you can teach me some of the Scottish dancing."

"Ceilidh dancing?" I asked.

"Yeah…Cei-…Cei-…what you said," He said, limbering up.

I laughed. "Okay, I'll teach you this one. It's called the "Gay Gordons". It's one of the most well-known ones and easiest. Ok, I'll teach you the lady's part because I have to lead. Ok, you hold my right hand like this and put your left hand around my waist."

"I put my hand where?" He said, lowering his hand a bit too much.

"You put your hand a bit more Northern than that, Luz, or else I'll kick you somewhere Southern," I warned, jokingly.

…………….

One hour later I had sobered up and was leaning against the table talking to Babe.

"You're okay?" I asked. "How much have you had to drink? You don't feel sick do you?"

"No," He laughed. "Geez, 20 questions or what. I haven't had a lot to drink tonight, probably about two glasses-worth. I'm not even drunk, I swear. It's nice that you care though."

"Well, it's my job," I smiled. "Just looking out for you guys."

"Yeah…well thanks all the same. It's still sweet," He smiled, bashfully. "You really do look great tonight, by the way."

"Aww, thanks. Even though I shouldn't really be wearing it," I said, then whispering jokingly. "It belonged to a _German_ woman."

He played along. "Oh no! Wait til I tell the guys."

"You wouldn't," I called his bluff.

"Nah, you're right. I wouldn't do that to you," He laughed. "Still, though, very nice. German or not."

"So, I…," I began.

"Do you want to go somewhere and be alone for a while?" He blurted out.

"What?" I asked, feeling both slightly exhilarated and uncomfortable.

"Sorry," He apologised, then persisted. "It's just I like talking to you, but these guys are talking so loud."

"Well," I reasoned. "I was going to look for a bottle of champagne to take home to my parents to toast the end of the war when I get back to them. I figure champagne will be expensive over there, and free is always better! Wanna help?"

"Sure," He beamed.

We walked down towards the aisles with the champagne bottles, which happened to be quite far away from the rest of the group. It felt a bit strange at first, and I felt Goosebumps all over my arms. I turned away from him, looking at the opposite row of shelving so that we were back-to-back. Suddenly a slow waltz came on over the gramophone.

He cleared his throat. "Would you like to dance?"

My head told me to say no, it would be too weird. But my head wasn't in control of my mouth. "Sure."

Tentatively we came together, our arms fumbling awkwardly for a second until we were in waltz position. We started to sway slowly to the music. Subconciously, we moved in closer and I put my head on his shoulder. I felt him play with a strand of my hair between his fingers. A little shocked, I pulled my head back to look at him. Our eyes locked and my heart began to race. Was he going to kiss me? He moved his lips down towards mine. Panicked, I put my head on his shoulder again.

"You look so beautiful," He whispered.

My mind began to spin. Then I felt him smelling my hair. He was actually smelling my hair. Suddenly, it was starting to become clear to me. That night he kissed me…maybe he'd meant to. He began to play with my hair again, and I felt so sure of it. I was thinking he maybe had feelings for me. I can't believe I hadn't realised this before, but the pieces were starting to come together in my head. As much as all of this was running through my head, the fact that I had butterflies in my stomach made me realise that maybe I had feelings for him, too.

"You're shaking," He whispered.

"What?" I asked, distracted.

"You're shaking like a leaf. Come here," He said, pulling my closer and wrapping his arms tightly around me as we swayed.

The warmth enveloped me and I realised I liked the feeling of being wrapped up in him. Then I suddenly became aware that I was breathing in his scent as well. I panicked. What did this mean? Then, after calming myself down, I reasoned with myself. I _did_ have feelings for Babe…but that wasn't enough compared to my feelings for Bill. Not enough. I didn't say anything to him. Instead, we just danced.


	21. Chapter 21 Austria part 1

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

NOTE- Hi. I've just been reading back through all of the chapters and I'm _so_ appalled at my awful grammar and spelling mistakes (and sometimes just leaving out words altogether!). I'm starting to wonder how you guys can even understand it lol, because reading through it there I was thinking to myself "What did I mean here?!". I'll tell you why this is though, lol. I find I can only write at night, _right_ before bedtime. I get too distracted during the day or don't have enough time to fully concentrate so usually I'm quite tired and my eyes are drooping by the time I proofread it. So I'm really sorry about this, lol. When I finish the story I'll go back over the previous chapters and correct everything so it reads better and I'll take better care in the future chapters. Haha! Hope you're all enjoying it so far. Let me know what you think 

…………………………….

Reluctant to leave Berchtesgaden, we were headed for Austria. Initial glances seemed to suggest we were merely swapping one haven for another. Mountains that reached for the sky, water that glistened like diamonds against the midday sun and vaster expanses of green, green grass than I could ever claimed to have seen back home in the US. What's more, we were staying in another hotel. It was recent recurring event that I found myself loving, compared to back in the freezing foxholes of Bastogne. This time we were staying in the Grand Hotel in Zell Am See, overlooking the lake. Paradise.

Location-wise, the situation couldn't have been more perfect. However, my situation with Babe, on the other hand, was going from bad to worse. After our moment on VE day, I'd found myself avoiding and ignoring him. Not the best thing to do, I know, but I found it too awkward to be around him, with all of these unsaid issues up in the air.

I should have known though, that the truth would out at some point. Sooner than I thought, in fact.

A few days after our arrival, I found myself in the new Aid Station with Eugene. By "Aid Station", of course, I meant the hall in a nearby church that we'd been allowed to use, the Major stressing that we shouldn't keep all of our resources in the one place.

"Hey Eugene," I shouted over from the other side of the hall, where I was peering out of the window.

"Yeah?" He shouted back.

"You ever notice there's a hell of an echo in here?" I shouted back over. "Just listen. HELLO! ECHO!"

"This what you've been doing with your days?" A semi-amused voice came behind me. I spun round. It was Babe.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" I asked, pretending to be busy with something but then catching a glimpse of his cut hand. "Hey, what happened there?"

"Out on a patrol in the forest. Snagged it on a broken branch," He said, wincing slightly.

"Ouch. Ok, follow me," I led him towards the other end f the hall near Eugene, who was doing a crossword in the paper, and a few beds we'd set up. "Hop on,"

He sat on the bed and I began to wash and bandage his hand, an awkward silence between the two.

"So, what've you been up to?" He asked." I haven't seen you in ages."

"It hasn't been _ages_," I stressed, avoiding eye contact. "You know, we've just been swamped here at the aid station and back in Berchtesgaden too."

"Yeah, because there have been such heavy casualties," He pointed out, sarcastically.

"You saying I'm lying?" I asked, defensively. Well, ok, I _was_ lying, but I strangely felt the need to fight my corner.

"I think you might be, yes. A clue might be the fact that Gene is over there doing a crossword puzzle," He said, looking over at Eugene, who looked up awkwardly and waned. "Hey Gene."

I looked at the ground.

"But that makes me wonder why you're lying," He continued, sounding hurt. "Are you avoiding me for some reason? Have I done something?"

"Babe, I don't know what you're talking about," I said, absolutely unconvincingly. I patted his hand. "There you go, all done."

"Whatever," He said, hopping off the bed, pretty steamed. "I'm so sick of you blowing hot and cold with me. We've known each other long enough that you should be able to be straight with me. If you _ever_ decide that you wanna talk, you know where I am."

I watched as he stormed out. The hall stood in empty silence before I turned to Eugene, seemingly engrossed in his puzzle. "I suppose you heard all of that?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help by hear it," He said, setting his paper aside. "You wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and sat down on the space on the bed that Babe had just vacated. "It's just…. Okay, let's just that I've found out that someone likes me, or at the very least I have a very strong suspicion that someone likes me."

"Heffron?" Gene asked, assumingly.

I nodded. "What do you think?"

"I'd say, from my personal observations, that it's fairly obvious that he likes you," Gene told me.

I opened my mouth. "What? Is it obvious to everyone?"

"No," Gene laughed, reassuring me. "I'm pretty sure only to me. We're medics, we spend a lot of time watching the men. You get a lot of insight into them, I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out."

"Thanks, Gene," I let out a small laugh, rolling my eyes.

"Anyway, yes it's obvious. But I don't see why that means you have to ignore him like you have been doing just because of it," He said, then opened his eyes wide. "Oh, unless you like him to?"

"No," I said, quick to deny it, but Gene saw right through me. "Gene, I love Bill. I love him."

"I know that," He nodded. "Doesn't mean you're not allowed to have feelings for anyone else. People can't help that sort of thing."

"But doesn't that make me a bad person?" I asked, frowning.

Eugene laughed. "No, of course not. It's okay to _like_ someone else as long as you don't act on it. That's the difference. There's just a line there that you have to make sure you don't cross. However, I would say to you that it's not fair for you to shut him out. He's been such a good friend to you in Easy, especially since Bill's accident. I think you have to sit him down and just explain the situation to him. You owe it to him."

"You're right, Gene," I nodded firmly, standing up but then sitting back down again. "Just not today, okay."

"Fiona," Gene said, warningly.

" No, I will. I will, I promise. Just, not tonight. I need time to think about how I'm going to say it," I said, worried.

…………..

The next morning, we were all ordered to assemble in the courtyard of the hotel, to be addressed by Speirs.

"General Taylor has also announced that the 101st will _definitely _be redeployed to the Pacific," Speirs shouted out. "So, as of tomorrow at 0600 hours, we will begin training to go to war!"

I looked around at the rows of disappointed faces around me. It was a possibility we'd all hoped wouldn't come true.

……………

Later that afternoon, I'd gone to find him and was told I could find him in the forest at the mini pier the boys used to dive off of. Walking through the trees I saw him, shoe-off, top button undone, dangling his feet into the water.

"Hi," I said, sitting next to him, trying to keep my feet dangling above the water without touching it. "You okay?"

"Not really," He said, splashing his feet about. "I was really looking forward to going home."

"Yeah, I think we all were," I said, sadly. "But I guess we all knew this was a possibility."

"Yeah. I guess I'd put it to the back of my mind," He admitted, then looked at me. "What are you doing here?"

"You said I knew where to find you," I said, quietly. "So I came to find you."

"You mean you _actually_ want to talk?" He mocked me, clearly trying to keep things light after our conversation yesterday.

"Yes," I said, seriously, preparing to unload. "You're right, I have been avoiding you."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because," I took a deep breath, preparing for the possibility that this was all in my head. "It's just, lately, I've kind of been getting the impression that you like me. In a romantic way. _Please_ stop me if I'm wrong here and I'll just stop talking right now."

He looked away for a few seconds. "You're not wrong. I _have_ liked you for a really long time. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever figure it out."

"Wow," I paused for a few seconds. "Well, I'd be lying if I said that, lately, I haven't been having feelings for you, too."

"_Really?_" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes," I looked at the ground. "BUT…"

"BUT…Bill," He finished.

I nodded.

"I understand," He said, nodding his head.

Suddenly it all became a bit too much for me and I began to cry. "Babe, I don't want to lose you in all of this."

"Hey, you could never lose me," He said, moving closer and pulling me into a hug, joking. "Not even in Philly, since I'm just down the street from you. You'll never lose me. We were friends first before any of this and that'll never change. I won't let it."

"Really?" I asked, quietly.

"All I want is for you to be happy," He said, letting my go and looking in the other direction, sounding slightly choked-up. "And if it's Bill that makes you happy then I won't stand in the way of that. Plus, he's my friend and I want him to be happy, too. I'll live with it."

I didn't say anything, I just moved in closer and pulled him into a fierce hug.

"I just want you to promise me something," He said, pulling away from me.

"What?"

"That you won't come to the Pacific," He said, seriously. "I have to go. I don't have the points to go home but the points system doesn't apply to you. You can go home whenever you want and I really think it would be best if you did. You shouldn't go."

"James would've," I pointed out, firmly,

"Oh Jeez," He said, putting his head in his hands. "_James _would've wanted you to live a full life. You've already proved you were a good friend to him. You've done enough. Europe's one thing, you got lucky and you didn't die. Please, please, _please_ don't go for a second time lucky."

"Babe," I said, sitting up straight. "I don't want to abandon you guys. I can't."

"At least promise me you'll think about it," He pleaded.

"Why is this so important to you?" I asked, concerned.

"Nothing, it's just someone in D Company showed me these pictures that his brother sent him of what the Japanese have been doing to POWs and they were just…," He said, looking almost scared. "Anyway, I'd be so much happier knowing you were safe back home. Safe with Bill. Please, promise me you'll think about it."

"O-okay," I said, seeing this meant a lot to him. "I'll think about it."

……….

Pacific aside, it turned out that we still couldn't escape death. Not even here in the peace of post-Hitler Austria. I found myself, a few weeks later, in the aid station late one night, cleaning up the bloody corpse of Private Janovec. He'd been involved in a road accident and I was trying to make him presentable for transportation back to the US. _Pity, _I thought, to make it this far and die like this. Still, I couldn't help that his parents were luckier than most. Most didn't even get a body back. Just a telegram. And you can't bury a telegram in a coffin. Just as I was finished and about to pull the sheet back up over him, Chuck came out of the little room at the back of the hall followed by two privates that I didn't recognise.

"Hey," He greeted me, looking down sadly at Janovec. "Shame, huh?"

"Yeah, it is," I agreed. "What's up, Chuck? Why are you here? Are you hurt?"

"No, not me, but _Genius_ here got broken glass embedded in his hand," He explained, indicating to one of the privates, who had a bandaged hand. "Eugene fixed it up in there. You done for the night?"

"Yeah," I said. "I was just heading back to the hotel now."

"Well I'll give you a lift," He offered. "I have a jeep right outside."

"Yeah sure, if you wouldn't mind," I smiled, appreciatively.

I shouted goodnight to Gene and followed them out of the car, sitting up in the front seat with Chuck as we began to drive.

"Excuse me, Sergeant?" One of the Privates asked me. "Are you Sergeant Guarnere's girl?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Chuck said, sending warning looks to the Privates in the backseat.

"No, it's okay, Chuck," I said, smiling amicably. "Yes, I guess you could say that I am."

"Man, we've heard all about Wild Bill," The other Private said, impressed. "Heard all about what he did on D-Day."

"Yeah, he was all wound up that day," Chuck agreed, nodding. "I've never seen anything like it. What a character."

"Although I have to point out," I said, turning round to look at the Privates. "He'd just found out that day that his brother was dead, so you can kind of understand it."

"Don't worry, Fi," Chuck said, jokingly smiling over at me. "We know he's much gentler with you!"

I burst out laughing. "I cannot believe you just said that, Chuck. I'm gonna get you back for that."

"So what happened to him in the end?" One Private asked, trying to remain respectful in his tone of voice.

"He got his leg blown off in Bastogne," Chuck said, distractedly looking ahead.

I looked to see what he was looking at and gasped. 3 cars were parked near each other and one US Soldier, a Private I identified him as, staggering about, clearly drunk. On second glance, I noticed bodies strewn about the ground. I opened eyes wide in terror.

"What the hell?" Chuck whispered, stopping the car and turning to get out of the car.

"No, Chuck!" I said, grabbing him arm and whispering into his ear. "Don't get out of the jeep, _please_ Chuck. It's too dangerous. Let's just go and inform Speirs of the situation."

"It's okay, we don't know that this guy was involved in any of this. I'll just go talk to him, see what he says" He said, getting out and walking towards him.

"No Chuck, wait!" I called quietly after him, but he was already gone towards the car.

We watched as Chuck talked to the guy, unable to hear what they were saying,

"Man, that guy is so drunk," One of the Privates remarked.

I turned round to face them. "Do either of you two recognise who he…"

_Bang_.

I whipped my head round at the noise, to see Chuck lying on the floor and the soldier taking off in one of the cars.

"Chuck!" I shouted, hopping out of the jeep and running over to him as fast as I could. I checked his pulse and found he was still breathing, but was horrified to find that the bullet wound was in his head. I looked over at the Privates still in the jeep. "Come here and help me!"

They ran over.

"He's still breathing for now. We need to get him back on that jeep and to the hospital. NOW!" I ordered as they helped carry him back to the jeep. "Be careful! Try not to move him too much!"

…………….

The next 20 or so minutes seemed to pass as a blur as we got him to the aid station and onto a stretcher. The next thing I was fully aware of was standing around him with Speirs, Floyd, Roe and one of our doctors, who was telling us there was nothing he could do.

"You can't operate?" Roe asked, unconvinced.

"I can't," The doctor said. "You'd need a brain surgeon, but even if you had one…"

Speirs cut him off, turning to Floyd. "You find the shooter. Roe, you come with me. We'll find a damn brain surgeon."

I ran to follow Speirs and Roe but Floyd held me back.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You come with me," He said, pulling at my arm.

"Why?" I asked, anxious to know how Grant was.

"We need you to help identify this guy," Floyd explained, leading me down the hall.

I realised that much was true, and let him lead me away.

………….

Three hours later I wearily walked to the German hospital, looking for Grant at the hospital that Eugene had given me the address of. Eventually word got back to us that one of the Privates had identified a man they'd pulled over looking for a way out of town as the shooter. Instead of going to see him, I'd gone to straight to the hospital. I was sure Easy Company would enjoy using him as a punching bag until Speirs got there. Eventually I found Chuck and Speirs on the second floor.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked nervously, walking into the room.

"Surgeon said he'll be fine. Did they find him?" Speirs asked anxiously, standing up.

"Y-Yes Sir," I said. "They found him on the road leading out of town. We think he stopped to change cars first, so he wouldn't be spotted and that's why it took him so long to get there."

"Ok, good," Speirs said, picking up his gun and putting it in his pocket. I opened my eyes at the sight. He looked at me. "Can you…"

"I'll sit with him," I said, in a quiet voice.

I watched as Speirs stormed out before turning back to Chuck. The top of his head was wrapped entirely in bandages. I knew it was going to be a long recovery for him, but at least he was breathing. I held his hand, stroking it gently, hoping he'd sense that he wasn't alone. I whispered out to him, tears running down my cheeks. "Chuck, I'm so sorry. _So, so Sorry_. I shouldn't have let you get out of that jeep, or I should have come with you and then maybe…."

"I think you did all that you could do," Babe's voice said gently from behind me.

I didn't turn round, knowing who it was. "Not really. If I'd actually done something then he might not be lying here now…like this."

Babe sat down on the chair next to mine and held my other hand. "Don't beat yourself up about it. He's okay. Let's be grateful for that."

"Who was the Private that did this?" I asked, changing the subject as I dabbed at my eyes.

"Replacement from I Company," Babe told me.

"Figures," I said, rolling my eyes and going on a bit of a rant. "That's what happens when you put these guys in such a great place with absolutely nothing to do. Of course, they're going to lash out. They should give these guys _something_ to do. This was all so avoidable. So avoidable."

"Hey, hey," Babe said, stroking my arm. "Calm down. That doesn't do anyone any good. Listen, why don't I take you back to the hotel so that you can get some sleep?"

"No," I said exhausted but firm. "I don't want him to be alone tonight. I want to stay with him."

"Okay," Babe said, pulling me to my feet and leading me over to a nearby empty bed and making my lie down on it. "You lie there and get some sleep. I'll watch him, I promise."

"Thanks, Babe. You really are…," I started to say, but fell into a slumber before I could finish my sentence.


	22. Chapter 22 Austria part 2

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

As the weeks and months went by tension amongst the men was replaced by a general fed-upness. It wasn't due to alcohol, however and the fact that since Chuck had been shot, the officers had enforced strict alcohol rules, more or less entirely banning it. The men were simply tired of waiting, knowing that their fate had already been decided in the decision to redeploy the regiment to the Pacific, and having to mentally prepare themselves all over again for their entry into their second war, a date for which they hadn't been given. I was still undecided as to what I was going to do, myself. Luckily, I had plenty of time to mull things over at the aid station, where the general casualties had subsided. The only real ailment I had to deal with these days was soldiers with sunburn and sickness and diarrhoea from eating questionable fruits from the forest.

So, as usual on a Tuesday afternoon, I sat in the Aid Station, on-duty and bored, waiting for someone to give me something to do. I found myself unfolding and refolding the linens (that's how bored I was!) when Luz came running in, breathless.

"Woah, what's the rush?" I asked, alarmed.

"You…you gotta come! Now!" He said, grabbing at my arm.

"Wait, Luz! Wait!" I cried, yanking my hand away and putting my hands on his shoulders to calm him down. "Calm down and tell me what's wrong."

His eyes darted around, madly. "Uh.. accident. Huge accident. In the hotel. People dead. You have to come help!"

"Oh my God," I cried, reaching for my bag. "Let's go! Hurry!"

Sprinting, he hurtled me towards the hotel. I tried to get him to talk to me about what had actually happened but he say anything. Worried, he led me up to the staircase and to the door of one of the hotel's many large Function Rooms.

"In…there," He said, hands on his knees, wheezing and trying to catch his breath.

Tentatively and still out of breath myself, I pushed open the door and walked in. It was pitch black. I began to feel around for a light switch when all of a sudden the lights blazed on and a crowd of people jumped out shouting "SURPRISE!".

"Argh!" I let out a small scream, and then realised what was going on. A surprise birthday party. "I can't believe it!"

"Happy Birthday!" Lieb called out and then looked with confusion. "Why are you both so out of breath?"

Temporarily forgetting my excitement, I turned to Luz and glared. "_He_ told me there was a huge accident in the hotel and that lots of people were dead, and then made me run at breakneck speed through the forest to get here!"

Lieb squinted at Luz as I walked over to the other guys to say thanks. "Geez Luz, you were meant to say something like the Major was looking for her and walk her here at a sensible pace. You can't do anything!"

"Hey," Luz said defensively, still panting. "I panicked, okay. It was literally the first thing that came to my head. Well, that and maybe that the mangy dog who lives outside the pantry was having puppies, but that just didn't sound believable to me!"

I walked over to the main table, where everyone was gathered around the main table. On the table lay a covered up silver platter. I beamed with excitement as I wondered what was underneath it.

"Thank you so much! I can't believe you even knew it was my birthday," I gushed.

"It's on your file, dummy," Babe laughed,

"Fair enough," I laughed and pointed to the platter. "What's that?"

They looked around nervously at each other.

"Well…," Webster said, lifting off the lid. "We made you a cake."

"Oh you guys!" I said, happily until I looked down at the "cake". It wasn't the cakiest cake I'd ever seen, I'll be honest with you. "Wow, uh…that looks delicious!"

"Babe and Perco made it," Lieb pointed at them, accusingly.

I burst out laughing. "It looks very…delicious."

"Hey," Babe laughed, defensively. "Neither of us are ever gonna be chefs, alright?"

"Hey, I didn't say anything negative," I laughed. "I'm sure it's delicious. Even though it looks kind of like a…like a…"

"Like a rock?" Webster suggested.

"Yes!" I smiled. "That's the word!"

Babe picked up a knife and went to cut it, shoving a piece at me. "I'm positive it tastes good. Try it!"

"Can you try it first?" I asked jokingly. He made a face. "I'm joking. I'm joking. Here, give it to me."

I slowly put it into my mouth and bit down…then spat it back out onto the floor. "Oh my God! What the hell is that?"

"What? What are you talking about? We followed the recipe exactly. Watch." Babe said, cutting himself a bit too and biting into it. He too spat it out and slowly turned to Perco. "Perc, when I told you to get me the sugar and you said you find some in that big white bowl. Are you sure you checked it to make sure it wasn't SALT?"

"Uh, I…uh. I'm needed, uh…over there," Perco stammered, before sidling off away from us hurriedly.

"Jackass," Babe rolled his eyes at him as he walked away.

"Never mind the cake," I said, taking it out of his hand and putting it back on the table. "So, what else did you have planned for this party?"

"Well, with the rules on alcohol we couldn't get any of that," Lieb explained. "So we figured we'd…I dunno…play some games?"

"Great," I said, clapping my hands. "I love games. Which game?"

"Well," Malarkey began. "We were going to get you a piñata but we didn't have one, and since Perco wasn't willing to co-operate, we figured maybe charades?"

I burst out laughing. "I love charades. Let's go!"

…………….

Two hours later, tired from playing games and dancing, I sat down for a few minutes to drink some water.

"Mind if I join you?" Major Winters asked, placing a chair next to mine.

"Not all, Sir," I said, as he sat down.

"Happy Birthday," He smiled, amicably.

"Thanks, and thanks for the party," I said.

"Not a problem," He replied. "I didn't really do anything, just told them that you're birthday was coming up and they did the rest. If anything it was good, it gave them something to do to keep them busy."

"Yeah, they've been pretty restless recently," I remarked.

"Yeah, it's hard waiting for the day you'll be called back into action," He said, then clearing his throat. "Speaking of that, have you given any thought as to what you're going to do now?"

"Sir?" I asked, sensing where this was going.

"Well you know the war in Europe is over, and technically you can go home anytime you want…if you choose not to follow the Regiment to the Pacific, that is," He said, telling me facts that I already knew.

"Yes, Sir," I said. "I promised Private Heffron that I'd think it over, but I'm almost 90% sure I'm coming to the Pacific."

"You know it's a whole different ball game over there?" He said. "I figured you'd want to come but I just want you to know that no one would think any less of you if you chose to go home. You shouldn't feel like you have a moral obligation to these men."

"I already do feel like that, Sir," I admitted. "And I just don't see why I should have any more right to go home than those without the points, Sir."

"I understand that," He nodded. "I just think it'd be safer for you back home."

"I can handle myself, Sir," I said, getting slightly heated. "I think I've more than proved that."

"That's true," The Major said, standing up to leave. "Just think it over, that's all I ask. Happy Birthday, again."

………..

A few days later I found myself with the afternoon off, so I decided to wander down to the pier and sunbathe by the lake for a while. I lay on my back, enjoying the sun.

"You know, as nice as this place is in the summer I think I'd really like to see it in the winter," A voice said, as I felt someone sit next to me.

"Why's that, Babe?" I asked, instantly recognising the voice, sitting up to look at him.

"Well, I bet this lake freezes over a treat in the Winter. Perfect for ice-skating," He replied.

"You do a lot of that back home?" I asked.

"Sometimes," He nodded.

"So, have you thought about what _you're_ gonna do when we get home?" I asked.

He lay down on the pier, stretching his arms behind his head. "I've been thinking about it. I think I'd like to join the Police."

I smiled. "I think you'd make a very good Police Officer."

"Obviously," He joked, then added. "That's if we ever get home."

"Tell me about it," I nodded. "Speaking of, I forgot to tell you. Major Winters took me aside at my birthday party and tried to talk me out of going to the Pacific. Seems like that's becoming a bit of a theme these days."

"Hey, we just don't want you to get hurt," He explained, gently.

"I know, I know," I said. "I just wish you all had a bit of faith in me that I could handle myself out there."

"We do," He assured me. "We just want the best for you, you know that. Speaking of, _have you_ thought anymore about whether you're going to go?"

"A little," I laughed, standing up and dusting myself down. "I'll let you know, don't you worry."

"Jeez, it's really hot today," He said, standing up as well. "You feel like going swimming?"

"I don't know, maybe," I said, mulling it over. With one gentle movement, he picked me up and dropped me into the water.

I came up, gasping for breath and livid. How could I have fallen for that. My brothers did it to me all the time back home when we were growing up. "I can't believe I fell for that! Babe, I was still wearing my shoes! They're all wet now!"

"Keep talking," He laughed, crouching down at the pier's edge. "You're just making my victory all the sweeter."

"Oh is that right?" I glared. Then stuck out my hand. "Well, aren't you gonna help me out?"

His eyes softened. "Sure, okay."

He reached out his hand to grab mine but before he could I grabbed onto his and pulled him headfirst into the water.

He surfaced, gasping. "I suppose I had that coming."

"Sure did. I'm sorry, did I get you wet?" I joked, sarcastically, splashing him with water.

……………………

"Strike One!" Buck shouted out. "Unlucky, Fi."

I gripped the bat harder, preparing to swing again.

"Strike Two!" He shouted out again. "Wow, good nurse, _lousy_ catcher!"

"Thanks, Buck," I rolled my eyes, "preparing" for my third attempt.

"Strike Three! You're Out!" Buck laughed, pointing me onto the Walk of Shame to the side.

"Pity," I said, sarcastically as I flopped down on the grass, rolling up my sleeves to soak up the sun.

Babe, who had already struck out, scooted over next to me. "I have to say. That was just…_pitiful_."

"I feel so bad about it," I joked.

"Hmm, I'm starting to think you struck out on purpose just so you could sunbathe!" He pretended to be shocked. "Here was me thinking you were a team player."

"Hey," I laughed. "You wanted me to play, I played. Besides, you're one to talk. You seemed to strike out awfully easy too!"

"Are you saying I just wanted to sunbathe?" He asked, mock-offended.

I looked over at him, spread out on the grass, head tilted up towards the sun. "Gee, I don't know, freckles, do you always where that PT vest for maximum tanning exposure."

"Fine, you got me," He sighed. "Like I can tan, anyway. It's ridiculous. I'm still so pale. If you held a milk bottle next to my arm, you'd think that it had just come back from a two-week vacation in the Bahamas. "

I laughed. "By the way, I made my decision about the Pacific."

"Oh yeah?" He said, sitting up to look at me. "What?"

"Well…," I began.

"EASY COMPANY! FULL CIRCLE!" The voice of Speirs sounded out, interrupting both the conversation and the game.

We all shuffled over towards him and the Major, and gathered around them, anxious to hear what they had to say.

"Listen up," The Major instructed. "This Morning, President Truman received the unconditional surrender from the Japanese…war's over."

Nobody reacted at first, we just all sat in stunned silence, each of us, I'm sure, not processing anything the Major said after those words were spoken. Some, I'm sure, not truly believing it. It took a while for it to all sink in. I'm sure it went something like this: "War Over. Home."

When we had come to terms with it, the whooping and cheering started. We all hugged each other and some even cried with happiness.

"I can't believe it!" Webster cried, swooping me up into his arms.

"You're not the only one!" I seconded, my face already beginning to hurt from beaming so much.

"Fellas! Fellas!" Popeye shouted out. "What are we all actually going to do now?"

There was a silence for a few seconds, while everyone seemed to ponder the reality of this question.

"Let's finish the game!" Bull shouted out suddenly. Everyone whooped and ran back out onto the diamond.

"Well, I actually meant what are we going to do when we get back home, but…okay! Wait for me!" Popeye cried out, running to catch up with them.

I didn't follow them. I collapsed happily into a heap on the grass, staring up into the sky. So many thoughts were rushing through my head. Seeing my family and friends again. Finally becoming a teacher. Hoping I'd done James proud. However, one other thought pushed it's way to the forefront of my mind as I stared up at the sky. The clouds seemed to blur together and spell out one word: Bill.


	23. Chapter 23 Goodbyes and Reunions

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

As we stepped out of the New York Royal Hotel and onto the sidewalk, the city seemed like an utterly different place than we'd arrived earlier that afternoon, when we'd trudged off of the ship (after what seemed like the longest-ever return journey ever), exhausted and in desperate need of showers, and straight into the hotel to sleep. We were all energised now, however, and ready for a wild goodbye night in this vibrant city, before most of us would leave the following day on trains home. I was utterly amazed by everything I saw around me, so far removed was it from anything I'd ever seen back home. A treat for the senses: aglow with light, despite being 9.30p.m. at night; filled with distant music and the excited chatter of US Army men returned home and out with their ladies and smelling entirely of perfume, gasoline and warm pretzels and nuts being sold by nearby street-vendors.

I was so happy to be wearing a dress again. It was a luxury I'd be looking forward to getting used to again. When we'd arrived in New York I'd actually had nothing even remotely girly with me except my Nurse's uniform, and I couldn't go out in that. When the Hotel Manager's daughter had caught sight of me ready to go out in my army uniform she led me up to her bedroom, saying "No, no, no. That won't do. Let's see what we can do for you". She curled my hair and dressed me up in a sequinned black dress and heels.

I stood there with Babe, Webster, Luz, Perco, Liebgott, Skinny, Floyd, Eugene, Malarkey and a few other Easy Company men on the sidewalk, no one really sure where to go first.

"So, Web, you're from the Big Apple. Where should we go?" Lieb asked, turning to him.

"I'm not actually from Manhattan," Webster pointed out. "But let's go, uh…this way"

We ended up a cosy club. I suppose to a veteran New-Yorker it would have been described as pokey, but to me it was incredible. Up on the stage, a swing band was in full…well, swing and soldiers and girls in brightly-coloured dresses were already tearing up the dance floor. Everyone looked so happy and in-the-moment. The women had been waiting a long time for their men (and men, in general) to come back, and were clearly determined to show them what they'd been missing. The atmosphere was infectious. It was as if no-one even remembered the war. Truthfully, if there hadn't been so many uniform-clad men everywhere, you wouldn't have been able tell it had happened.

"Well, it's a good thing I wore my dancing shoes tonight," Luz said, reaching for my hand. "You guys get the drinks in, we're hitting the floor."

"George, do you remember the _last_ time you and I tried to dance with each other?" I asked, as he led me to the floor.

"Yeah," He laughed, reaching for my hands. "But we were drunk then. I'm actually a very good dancer, sober."

"Wow, you actually are," I laughed, as we began to dance.

"This is nothing," He winked, spinning me round. "Wait'll you see me do the Lindy Hop later".

…………

Flushed from two hours of non-stop dancing with the guys. I made my way over to the bar to get something to drink. Sitting on a bar stool trying to catch my breath, I ordered an orange juice.

"An Orange Juice?" Babe asked, nodding disapprovingly as he walked up to me. He cancelled my order and leading me away. "We have champagne at the table."

"Ooh sounds nice," I said, sitting down and offering him a glass to fill for me. "Okay, woah! That's enough. What are you trying to get me drunk, Private?"

"I'm offended you'd accuse me of such a thing," He said, acting offended.

"Are you having fun?" I asked, sipping slowly.

"Yeah, I'm having a great time. But I'm avoiding that girl over there," He said, pointing to a woman in a bright red dress standing over by the band.

"Oh yeah, I saw you dancing with her earlier," I said, my heart twinging ever so slightly. "Why are you avoiding her?"

"She clearly hasn't had a good dance in a long time. She got so excited she almost swung me into the double bass!" He exclaimed. I burst out laughing as he continued. "The lady's a health-hazard."

"Well, you should be careful. You just made it back from the war in one piece, we wouldn't want to lose you now!" I laughed.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, looking at the other men dancing with ladies on the dance floor. Suddenly the lively music gave way for a moment as the band performed a slow song.

"Would you like to dance?" He said, standing up and extending his hand to me. "Come on, I haven't danced with you all night!"

"Okay," I said, setting down my glass and letting him lead me to floor, where we put one hand on each others' waist and shoulder and began to sway in time to the music.

It was a little too reminiscent of that night in the booze-cellar in Berchtesgaden. I felt the need to talk, to ease the silent tension. "So, are you excited for tomorrow?"

"Very," He replied. "My own bed, ma's home cooking. I've missed it all so much. You?"

"Excited for those things too," I said, but then added tentatively. "A little scared too, I suppose."

"Scared?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "I don't know, we've been away so long. Who knows what's changed."

"Are you talking about Bill?" He asked. "I thought you said you were 100 sure he'd be waiting for you."

"I know I did. I don't know though, I guess maybe it's just being in the US again it all seems more real and I feel a little less confident. Plus I'm worrying about my brothers too. I don't even know if they made it through the war or not. " I explained.

"Well don't worry…on both counts," He reassured me, sounding slightly unconvinced. "Everything will be fine, you'll see."

I wasn't convinced of his sincerity, but I was determined not lose my giddiness on this night, which had been such an amazing night. My face lit up as I looked over at Perco, dancing with a woman about twice his height, as he was attempting to have a sneaky feel of her derriere. I turned Babe and I round so he could see. "Babe, look at Perco."

He burst out laughing. I laughed along with him. As the song came to an end, I looked over at the table where some of the men sat, drinking and laughing. To the edge sat Eugene, all on his own and looking down at his hands. I pecked Babe on the cheek and thanked him for the dance, before walking over to see Gene.

"Hey," I said as he shifted up to make room for me in the booth. "Having fun?"

"It's alright," He gave a half-smile.

"Thanks for coming out tonight," I smiled. "I know you didn't really want to."

"It's not that I'm unsociable. New York just scares me a little," He said, looking around uneasily. "Things are very different in the Bayou."

"It is very different," I laughed. "But you should enjoy it, you might never be back here again."

"That's true," He said, swigging down the remains of his champagne flute. "So are you missing Europe?"

"Not even a little bit," I laughed. "I will miss all of you, though."

"Tell me about it," He agreed. "It'll be so strange after being with you all every day for years to suddenly be apart again."

"We'll have to promise to keep in touch," I said. "I'm also glad we have this moment to be alone so that I could thank you."

"Thank me for what?" He asked.

"Just for being there for over there. You really looked out for me and were one of the first people over there that I could _truly_ call a friend," I smiled, my lip almost quivering.

"Well, hey," He said, his cheeks reddening. "It's no more than you did for me."

I gave him a little smile. "Is this the part where we hug?"

"I think so," He laughed, giving me a hug.

"Excuse me," A pretty woman in a blue dress interrupted, looking at Gene. "I'm sorry if I've read the situation wrong and you two are together but I've been watching you all night and you don't seem to be with anyone. So…I was wondering if you'd like to dance."

Eugene sat there, stunned, unable to say anything.

"We're definitely not together," I laughed, speaking for him. "Oh, and he would _love_ to dance with you."

I stepped out of the booth, giving him space to get out himself. I sat back down, smiling happily as I watched them walk off together.

"Excuse me," Luz said, walking over to the table with a big grin on his face and and his hands on his hips. "Who said you could take a break from the dancing. Get your ass up there with me."

"But Luz," I protested as he frog-marched me to the dance floor. "Aren't you getting _acquainted_ with that girl over there?"

"Yes," He smiled. "Yes I am. But if she sees me dancing with you, she'll think there are lots of woman after me, which should convince her that she really wants to be with me. You see?"

"Ah, clever," I rolled my eyes.

"Besides," He beamed. "I promised you I'd save a Lindy Hop for you, so let's go."

………

The next day, we all went to the train station together, as our trains were departing within a few hours of each other. The Hotel Manager's daughter had lent me a blue polka-dot dress for my journey. I'd asked her to give me a return address for it but she'd insisted I keep it, laughing and saying it was a good excuse to have her father buy her a brand new one.

"Well, it looks like we should board," I said to the group, as our train (Babe, Spina and myself) was departing first.

I hugged them all individually, not able to hold back the tears, nor could a few of the others.

"You all better write!" I warned through tears. "You all have my address so there's no excuse."

"Count on it," Perco said, giving me a big hug.

"Bye," Malarkey said, kissing me on the cheek. "Give my regards to Bill."

"I will," I smiled.

A sharp whistle in the background told us it was our last chance to board. Sadly, the three of us boarded the train.

As it rolled out of the station, we kept our faces pressed to the window, taking in a final look (for the time being) at some of the best friends we'd ever have until their faces disappeared from view.

…….

An hour into the journey and Spina was in a deep sleeping, snoring loudly and using his backpack as a pillow. I had my eyes pressed to the window, taking in the rolling scenery of the US for the first in such a long time. Too long.

"It was good of the Manager's daughter to sort me out with this dress," I commented.

"I don't get it," Babe said, puzzled. "Why wouldn't you want to show up in Philly in your uniform, so everyone knows you're a war hero?"

"I guess I just want Bill to know that I have a feminine side, really," I blushed, then pointed to my Army Wings, which I'd fastened to the dress like a brooch. "Don't worry though, I still want people to know."

He laughed. "It's good of Bill to be picking us up at the Station, huh?"

"Yeah it is," I smiled. "How did he sound on the phone?"

"Sounded a little sleepy, but also happy to be seeing us again," He told me.

"Wow, I'm so nervous to see him again," I said, wringing my hands. "I'm all jittery!"

"Ok, I guess I shouldn't offer you a coffee from the bar cart anymore," He joked.

"Probably for the best," I smiled.

"So," He began, nervously. "I was just wondering if you were going to tell Bill about the way I've been feeling about you. I mean, obviously I'd understand if you felt you had to."

I paused. "No. I think it's for the best if I don't tell him about the way you've been feeling, and the way _I've_ been feeling too. You two are friends, and I don't want to do anything to ruin that between the two of you."

……………..

After what seemed like an age, the train finally pulled into the station.

"We're home," I whispered excitedly to Babe as the train came to a stop.

I began gathering my bags up when I noticed that Spina was still sound asleep. I tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Spina! Spina wake up!"

He woke up with a start. "What? What's going on?"

"We're home," I beamed.

"Finally," I yawned. "Man, you two slept the whole time."

"No, Spina," I said, raising an eyebrow at him. "_You_ slept the whole time."

He looked confused. "That's what I said."

I laughed and rolled my eyes as I gathered up my things and we made our way to the train door.

"I can't do it," I said, frozen to the spot. "Somebody else go first!"

Babe moved past me and opened the door, stepping out and holding it open for us. Nervously, I stepped off of the train.

"There he is," Babe said, waving back at Bill, who was waving at us as he walked towards us.

I spun my head round to look. There he was. Bill. I felt my knees go weak. He was still every bit as handsome as when I'd last seen him. I noticed him walking effortlessly, wearing an artificial leg.

He walked up to us, first grabbing Babe into a fierce hug.

"Good to see the Krauts didn't make mincemeat of you, Pal," He beamed at Babe, before giving Spina a manly hug and hand –shake.

Finally and tentatively he turned to me. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, taking in each others faces. A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek, followed by another. Instantly, he pulled me towards him and held me in his arms. I smiled contentedly as I laid my head into the crook of his neck and sniffed his jacket. It smelled of him. I'd missed that smell so much.

"I missed you _so_ much," He whispered softly as he began to stroke my hair.

"Well hello there," A woman's voice interrupted.

Quickly, Bill pulled away from me. Confused, I looked over at the woman, a beautiful raven-haired lady with olive skin and rosy-red lips. I wondered who she was, then raised my eyes and Bill went to her side and put his hand on the small of her back.

"This is Edward Heffron, or "Babe", Ralph Spina and this…this is Fiona," He said, avoiding my eye contact as he pointed at us. "And _this_ is Carlotta…my wife."

"Call me Carla," She beamed at us.

…………………

NOTE- Okay, there's a backstory to this so don't panic. All shall become clear. Also, I changed the name of Bill's wife as I know he's happily married to a woman named Frannie in real life so I wanted to change as much as possible here, to highlight that this is just a fiction.


	24. Chapter 24 Syrup Smiley Faces

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Your wife," I repeated, monosyllabically.

"Yes, his wife," She repeated, even though it wasn't a question. "I've been so looking forward to meeting you, Fiona. I can't wait to get to know the woman that Bill described as "The Bravest Woman He Ever Met"."

I couldn't respond. I was dumbfounded, and didn't understand what was going on. Looking back on it now, I wonder why I didn't lash out there and then. _"What?! You have a WIFE?!"_…but the simple fact is I didn't. I suppose at the time I didn't really believe it even though it was staring me in the face. People like to hear what they want to hear, and when they don't it takes them a little while for the reality to sink in.

"Are you okay?" She asked, looking at me concerned. "You're looking a bit queasy."

Babe stepped in and put his arm around my shoulder, supportively. "Shock of being home, I guess. Plus, she had a little motion sickness on the train too."

"Oh, you poor think," She said, taking my bag off of me.

I was so dumbstruck that I was barely taking any of this in. I only remember being vaguely aware when came round to my other side, put her hand on my arm and led me along with Babe to a car, presumably their car. They helped me into the car and Bill began to slowly drive us home, with an uncomfortably silent atmosphere in the car.

Carla turned around to face me. "Feeling better? You're still a little quiet back there."

"I'm fine, just looking at the scenery," I mumbled, never taking my eyes off of the window, not even being aware of the streets of South Philly rolling by me as I looked at them.

Eventually the car came to a stop.

Babe nudged me lightly in the sides. "We're here. Hey, Bill, I'll just get out here, too. It's not too far for me to walk down the street."

Bill didn't say anything, he simply hopped out of the car and trudged around the other side, opening the door to let us out.

On the sidewalk, he shook Babe's hand and patted him on the back. He turned to me. I stood there, not looking at him but instead staring straight into the kerb. Reaching out, he gave me a hug (one-sided, on his part not mine) and whispered into my ears "We'll talk soon".

Then, quick as a flash, he was back in his car and disappeared from my sight. I stood still, feeling rooted to the spot.

"Are...are you okay?" Babe asked tentatively, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I looked a him, blankly. "What do you think?"

He pursed his lips together and leant forward to pull me into a hug. "Come here."

"No," I resisted, pulling away. "If you hug me I'll just cry, and I don't want to cry right now. Not until I know what exactly has happened here."

"Okay," He said, giving me a quick hug anyway.

"Babe," I asked in a small, tired voice. "Can you talk to him for me?"

"Of course I will, don't even worry about it," He said, leaning in to give me a quick on the cheek goodbye, and whispering in my ear. "Don't worry…you're home."

That's what worried me.

……………………

Wearily, I trudged up the stairs to our apartment. Stopping in front of the door, I put my hand in my pocket as usual to fish out my keys, then remembering that, of course, I didn't have a set anymore. I knocked on the wooden frame.

In a flash, my Mother opened it and a huge smile spread onto her face.

"Fiona!" She said, opening her arms out to me.

All of a sudden the emotion of everything caught up with me and I burst into tears, collapsing in a heap on the floor in my mother's arm and crying out a word I hadn't used since I was about 14. "Mommy!".

……………………

Groggily, I opened my eyes and looked around me, a little surprised to find myself in my bedroom at first. Then, I remembered my father carrying my to my bed as I sobbed inconsolably and saying that I needed some sleep, then the memory of my mother tucking me in and kissing me on the cheek.

Climbing out of bed, I wrapped my blanket around me and made my way out to the living room. No one was there, but I could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. I trudged in, hearing conversation. I opened the door and my parents instantly stopped talking (I sensed it was about me), and just smiled at me.

"Hi, Sweetie," My mother said. "Feeling better?"

I nodded, lying obviously but I didn't want to alarm them any more than I already had.

My father pulled a chair out for me at the kitchen table and I sat down as my mother placed a plate in front of me. I looked down at the offering in front of me and smiled- pancakes with syrup smiley faces, my favourite breakfast as a child.

"Pancakes," I smiled up at them. "It's dinnertime."

"Sweetie, you've just gotten back from the war," My father chuckled. "I don't think anyone would deny you breakfast for dinner."

My mother smiled and then looked at my father, pointedly.

"Well, I'm going to take the dog out for a walk," My father said, taking the hint. He kissed me on the top of my head as he walked past. "Good to have you home, Sweetheart."

When he left my mother sat across from me at the kitchen table. "Taste okay?"

"Mmmm," Came my muffled, pancake-stuffed reply.

"So Sweetie," My mother said. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"

"What do you mean, Ma?" I asked.

"Darling, I've never gone to war and been on the front lines, so I don't know how bad that has affected you emotionally, and forgive me if that's all it is but, as your mother a woman, I recognise that kind of emotional bawling. That's to do with love, Sweetie, if I have it right," My mother said, putting her hand over mine.

I swallowed my mouthful of pancakes. "Well…you're not wrong."

"Does it have anything to do with the nice one-legged gentleman who came here a few months ago?" She asked, tentatively.

"What?" I asked, dropping my fork.

"I'll take that as a yes," My mother smiled, knowingly. "About three or so months ago, a uniformed man turned up at the door, said his name was William Guarnere."

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He just said that he was a friend of yours over in Europe and that he just wanted to tell us what a great job you were doing over there, and that when he last saw you you were happy and healthy," She told me.

"Did…did he say anything else?" I asked, looking down at my plate.

"No. Should he have?" She asked, inquisitively.

"Did he say anything about being married?" I asked, levelling with my mother.

"No, he didn't," She replied. "Can I take it that this is something you didn't know about either?"

"You've always read me so well, mom," I said, my lip quivering.

"I'm your mother, of course I can read you," She smiled, patting my hand.

"I love him, Ma," I said, a tear running down my cheek. "He said he loved me, too."

"I think he does," She admitted. "Certainly when he was here your father and I got the impression that he was very fond of you."

"Really?" My eyes lit-up.

"Yes, Sweetie, but married men…," She began.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't go there, right?" I finished for her.

"Now who's reading who well?"

"But Mom, I don't know the whole story. I just feel like there's more to this than meets the eye," I stressed.

"That's as may be," She nodded. "But Sweetheart, he's married. Is there really anything else you need to know?"

…………..

NOTE- Sorry if this chapter was a little short and boring. It didn't have a place in what I have planned for the next chapter though. I really should have just included it in the previous chapter. Anyway, hope you're enjoying it so far. Yes, things are going to be taking a bit of a strange turn from here on in, haha but I'm sure it will all come good in the end…or will it?


	25. Chapter 25 Can't hate her

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

In my bed, I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling. The curtains were firmly drawn. Bathroom breaks aside, I'd been in that exact position for what seemed like 3 months (In reality, about 3-4 days). I didn't feel like facing the real world, and it seemed easier to shut my self away in my little cave. Really I was just trading one foxhole for another.

A gentle knock came from the other side of the door.

"Come back later," I called out, rolling on my side to face the wall.

It came again.

"Mom, I just want to sleep!" I cried out.

She pushed open the door and walked right in, crossing over to the window and yanking the curtains open. Light exploded into the room and I groaned lightly, shoving my face into my pillow as the light burned at my eyes. She walked up to the side of my bed.

"Time to get up," She said, sternly.

"Mom, I just want to be alone for a while," I moaned, head still buried in my pillow.

She sighed, and sat down next to me on my bed. "Sweetie, I know you have things that are bothering you, and I know that you're also going through a readapting period at the moment. But, honestly, you want feel better until you get things resolved. And you won't resolve _anything_ sitting around here like this."

I sat up, wiping at my eyes. "I'm not ready to face him yet."

"Okay, that's fine. By all means, wait until you're ready. But, please, for the sake of your mother's sanity you have to get out of here for a while," She said, taking my cheeks in her hands. "If only because it's washday and I really want to wash these dirty bed sheets."

"Okay, fine," I sighed.

"Good girl. Besides, I think there is another visit that you have to make. A visit maybe that you've been putting off." She said, pointedly. "Sharon."

Sharon was James's mother. She was like a second mother to me, although when we received the news about James's death, I'd found it a little awkward to be around her. She was deep in the grieving period, and I didn't know what to say to her that could take away the pain of losing her son. I wondered how she was now, over a year later. I supposed a visit to her was long overdue.

"I guess I should pay her a visit," I said, standing up.

My mother stood up and put her hands on my shoulders. "Good girl. Now, give yourself a good shake, go have a good long soak in the tub and get some fresh air into your lungs."

…………….

_Ding Dong._

"Fiona!" Sharon opened the door to greet me, her eyes lighting up as she pulled me into the hug.

I smiled, glad to see the old Sharon back again. "It's so good to see you again!"

"You too. You look so different! Look at your hair, it's fabulous!" She said, ushering me into the apartment. "Come on inside, we have a lot to catch up on."

She led me through the sitting room towards the kitchen, passing James's father on the way. He was sitting slumped in his armchair, staring out of the window vacantly. Sadly, I recalled that he had been in exactly the same position the last time that I'd seen him…over a year ago.

"Hi Paddy," I said, friendly. No response.

Sharon ushered me into the kitchen, and pulled a chair out for me as she set about making tea.

"He still hasn't come to terms with it," She said sadly, setting the water on the stove to boil.

"I see that. I can't imagine how long the grieving process will be," I said, sadly. "How are you coping with it?"

"It's been hard, I won't lie. I was a broken woman for about 6 months, and I still haven't fully recovered. But it was people like your mother who helped to pull me back, making me see that I should be proud of what my son did over there. I have to ask you something though," She said, looking at me anxiously. "Did you find out anything over there? Did my son do lots of good over there?"

"Yes," I lied without hesitating, sensing that she needed someone to truly justify her son's death. I wasn't prepared to tell her that he died before actually making any impact on the war.

She smiled, contented, as she handed my cup of tea. "And you? Did you find any answers you were looking for over there?"

"Yes," I gave her a little smile. "I found everything I was looking for…sort of."

"Well that's good," She said, sensing that there was a topic there I didn't really want to talk about. "You know we were all so proud of you for doing what you did over there. James would have been so proud, too."

"No he wouldn't," I laughed. "Well, maybe he would. But he wouldn't have acted that way. He would have shouted me out for being irresponsible and stupid."

She laughed, heartily. "That sounds like my son. He was always trying to protect you. He would've been proud, really."

"I know," I smiled, my lip starting to quiver as we made eye contact.

"Hey now," She said, tapping me lightly on the hand. "Don't you start doing then, because you'll set me off."

"Sorry," I smiled, finishing my tea and standing up. "Anyway Sharon, I really should get going."

"Okay Sweetie," She said, leading me to the front door, where she stopped. "Oh, can you wait here for a second?"

"Sure," I said, as she rushed off to another room, running back and placing a key in my hand.

"What's this?" I asked, holding it up.

"It's the key to my parents' old apartment on Fennel Street," She said, smiling at me. "When my mother died, my father moved in with us. He wanted to give the apartment as a present to James when he got home but…well you know. I think he'd want you to have it."

"Oh, Sharon," I said, stunned. "Thank you so much, but I can't accept this. It's too much, I'm sorry."

"Please accept this for us," She pleaded. "I really think he would have wanted you to have it. I won't take no for an answer."

The look on her face suggested this meant a lot to her. "Okay. Thank you so much. This just means you better come and visit me very often!"

………………

I walked down the front steps rather stunned. I had my own apartment. Wow. I'd never even thought of living away from home. At the time it wasn't a common thing for a single girl of my age to do, and I wasn't even sure that my parents would let me. As I pondered this, I wasn't looking where I was going and smacked right into a woman walking down the street, sending her grocery bags flying to the ground.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, bending down quickly to help pick everything up.

"Don't even worry about it," She said, then stopped. "Fiona?"

I looked up. "Carla!...Hi."

"Well, isn't this such a coincidence," She said, laughing as we picked up the groceries.

"Sure is," I said, every hair on my arm standing on end. "I…I'm sorry I bumped into you."

"Oh don't worry, I wasn't looking where I was going either. Plus, I'm carrying so many bags," She smiled at me sweetly. She really was beautiful. I kind of hated her for it. "Say, I live quite nearby. I don't suppose you could help me out with these, could you?"

"Oh," I said, trying to think of any excuse. "Well, I really have to be…"

"Please," She said, cocking her head to one side. "It would really help me out a lot."

"I…I…sure," I said defeated, taking some of her bags off her. "Which way are we going?"

We walked mostly in silence, bar a few polite conversational questions about the weather and weekend plans. Eventually she led me up the pathway to a cosy, quaint little bungalow. _Perfect_, I thought a little bitterly to myself, _perfect for newlyweds_.

She led me inside and I placed the bags on her kitchen counter. "Well I should go."

"No, wait," She said, reaching for my arm. "Would you please stay for a cup of coffee?"

"I really can't," I said, instantly.

"Oh please," She begged. "I've been so looking forward to getting to know you, and we haven't really had a chance to talk."

"I…," I said, nothing coming to my mind. "Ok, that would be…nice. But, can I please use your bathroom first?"

"Absolutely," She beamed. "It's just past the sitting room on the left. I'll get the coffee started.

I walked to the bathroom, stopping dead in my tracks at the fireplace. Sitting on the mantle in front of me, was a wedding photograph of the two of them. Finally it was staring me in the face- solid evidence. My eyes welled up as I looked at it. Carla looked beautiful in her lace dress, her rosy cheeks positively glowing. Bill looked so handsome, although there seemed to be something hidden behind his eyes, something that was making his smile seem a bit forced. _I don't understand_, I wondered to myself, _why isn't that me?_

"Lose your way?" Carla's cheerful voice called from the kitchen, popping her head out of the door and pointing. "It's just there."

I ran into the bathroom and sat at the side of the bathtub, putting my head down between my knees and breathing deeply.

"I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this," I repeated, over and over.

I stood up and walked over to the sink, looking into the mirror as I splashed some cold water onto my face. It just felt so wrong. How could I be in the home of Bill Guarnere and his wife, especially when his wife wasn't me.

"Coffee's ready!" Carla called from the kitchen.

"Coming!" I called out, and walked back into the kitchen.

"I didn't know what you take in your coffee, so there are some bowls on the table. Help yourself," She smiled, setting down my coffee cup and a bowl of sugar.

"Thanks," I said, stirring in some sugar.

"So, are you happy to be home?" She asked, sitting across from me and pouring milk into her coffee.

"Yes," I said simply, staring aimlessly into my cup.

"Is it everything you expected?" She asked, unnervingly raising her eyebrows at me.

"More or less," I lied, mumbling.

"Can I just say, I admire you so much for having the guts to go all the way out there," She gushed. "I mean, when Bill told me about some of the stuff that you did out there, I just couldn't believe it."

"Bill told you?" I asked, looking up for a moment.

"Oh, Bill never stops talking about you," She told me. "He has so much admiration for you, as I'm sure they all did out there."

"Not really," I mumbled, looking back down at the bottom of my cup. "If anything, it was Bill and the other men that got me through out there. I don't think I could have done it without them."

"I highly doubt that," She giggled. "I learned from a very young age that the only thing that helps a good man function properly…is a good woman. I'm sure it was you that helped them get through out there."

I let out a little laugh, and then scolded myself. _You laughed? Don't laugh, it's wrong!_

I wasn't really sure if I wanted to know the answer to my next question. Maybe I didn't _want_ to know, but I think I _had_ to. "So…how did you and Bill meet?"

She beamed, proudly. "Oh you know how the story usually goes. We were childhood sweethearts. He proposed to me before he left. I thought it was _so_ romantic. It didn't even occur to me at the time that he might not make it back alive. Still, I waited. Faithful, like a dog. But I was going nuts waiting, so I kept busy by planning the wedding."

"Wow," I said. "You were planning a wedding to a man who might not have come back? You…you must really love him."

"Of course I do," She said.

"That's…great," I faked a smile. Inside, I felt absolutely sick. The whole time Bill and I were together in Europe he'd been engaged, whilst wedding plans were being set in motion.

"So," She said, interrupting my thoughts. "What about _your_ love life. Do you have a fella? Bill never mentioned one but I figured maybe he hadn't asked."

"My love life?" I squeaked. "No…nothing to tell there whatsoever."

"Oh come on…," She smiled slyly at me, but was interrupted by the sound of a car driving up the gravel pathway. "Bill's home, and I haven't even started dinner yet."

I stood up instantly. "I should get going."

I moved quickly for the door, stopping as it opened in front of me. There stood Bill and I, face-to-face.

"Hey there," He said, raising his eyes in shock.

"Hi Sweetie," Carla said walking up to us, drying her hands on a dishtowel. "I met Fiona on the streets and she helped me back with my groceries, wasn't that nice?"

"Uh…yeah," He said, still looking stunned.

"I have to go," I repeated, numbly.

"Well, say, Bill can drive you home," Carla offered, smiling at me.

I looked at him, panicked. "No, that's okay. I can walk, really."

"Nonsense," She tutted. "It's so dark outside. I won't hear of it. Bill, Sweetheart, take her home."

"O…okay," He said, pulling out his car key.

"No, really," I insisted, not wanting to get in a car with him.

"Fiona, please accept the lift. I'd feel happier knowing you got home safely," Carla stressed.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Okay. Goodnight, Fiona. Thanks for coming round and I hope we can do this again, really soon. I'll start dinner, Bill," She said as Bill led me out to the car.

Reluctantly, I climbed in as he opened the door for me. He got in his side and we began to drive. As we drove it was deadly silent at first. Part of me wanted to grab him, punch him and ask him why. But the other part of me could still feel the electricity buzzing between the two of us and wanted to reach out and kiss him.

"Look, I…," He began.

"Don't," I said, silencing him.

"I need to explain this to you," He said, pleadingly.

"Will you calm down. You're driving so erratically, you almost went up on the curb," I exclaimed.

"Fuck, I can't drive like this," He said, pulling over into a lay-by and shutting off the engine. "You have to let me explain. It's important that you understand that I…"

"Bill, I understand perfectly," I said, looking out of the window and not at him.

"No you don't. I still love you damnit and I…," He started.

"Don't say that," I said, whipping my head round to stare at him. "You don't have the right to say that to me. Besides, I'm not ready to talk to you about all of this yet. All I will say right now, is that Carla is a brilliant woman and, as much as it kills me to say it, I can see why you fell in love with her."

"It's not like that," He insisted, but stopped. "She _is_ a good woman, and this is all my fault not hers."

"Oh, I don't blame her for any of this," I said, sharply. "I want you to know that I blame you, entirely. You really hurt me, Bill Guarnere."

Feeling my eyes well up, I opened the door and jumped out. "I can walk the rest of the way. Goodnight."

………………

Twenty minutes later, I arrived emotionally exhausted back at my parents' apartment.

"Your father said you were out," A voice said.

I looked up to see Babe, sitting down on my front stoop waiting for me. "Hey, you."

"Hi," He smiled, bashfully.

I sat next to him on the steps.

"I talked to Bill," He said, simply.

"It's okay, Babe. I already know the story," I told him. "I spoke to Carla today and she told me everything."

"Do you hate her?" He enquired.

"No, I don't hate her," I sighed, putting my head in my hands. "I _wish_ I could hate her but I don't. She's beautiful and she's a nice person. Everything you could want in a wife."

"For what it's worth, I still think he's a fool. I mean, I love the guy, but he's a fool," Babe said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Is there anything I can do?"

I scooted closer to him and put my head on his shoulder. "Will you just sit with me for a little while?"


	26. Chapter 26 Painting a new place

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The next morning I walked into the kitchen at breakfast time to find the usual scene: my father reading the morning paper whilst my mother cooked over the stove.

"Morning," I said, sitting down.

"Morning Sweetheart," My mother said, not taking her eyes off of the bacon cooking. "You came in late last night. Did everything go okay? How is Sharon?"

"She's fine. She seems to be doing much better than when I last saw her," I said, sitting down across from my father and adding tentatively. "She gave me something."

"Oh really? What's that?" My father said, looking over his paper at me.

"The keys to her parents' old apartment. They were going to give it to James when he got back. She insisted I take it," I told them, slowly.

"What? She gave you an apartment?" My mother squeaked.

"Yes," I said, then paused before saying the next bit. "I think I'm going to move in."

My father set his paper down in surprise. "Say that again?"

"You heard me, Pop," I said, quietly.

"Absolutely not," My father said, angry. "It's out of the question!"

"Why?" I asked, calmly as possible.

"It's not safe for a start," He began.

"Besides, Honey," My mother said, worriedly. "What would the neighbours think?"

"Mom," I let out a little laugh. "I'm long past caring about what the neighbours think after the years I've just had. Besides, I think I've earned the right to live how I want."

My father paused. "Well, where is this place?"

"Its only on Fennel street. It's not _that_ far away," I said, convincingly.

My parents looked at me strangely. It was as if they were seeing me for the first time in a whole new light, as a woman who was finally making her own decisions that weren't up for discussion. They looked at each other, baffled.

"My little girl really grew up over there, didn't she?" My mother said, in a voice mixed with both pride and sadness. "You really won't be talked out of this, will you?"

"No," I said, smiling sympathetically.

"Then I think that's all there is to say," She said, simply, patting my hand.

"We get a copy of the key," My father insisted.

"Well, apparently _that's_ all there is to say," She laughed.

I smiled and walked back to my room to make plans, finally happy to have something to preoccupy me for the time being.

………………………

Three days later I walked to my new apartment, carrying a big boxful of paintbrushes and other decorating materials. I saw Babe waiting for my on the stoop, just as I'd asked him to.

"Finally," He said, rolling his eyes and smirking at me. "You'll need to learn some punctuality when you become a teacher you know!"

"Gee Babe, maybe it was this huge box that was slowing me down," I said sarcastically, setting it on the ground.

"Anyway, why did you want me to come here?" He asked.

"I have news," I said, smiling.

"That's a coincidence," He said. "I have news, too. You go first."

"Well," I said, taking the key out of my pocket and holding it up in front of him. "I live here now!"

"You do?" He asked. "How?"

"James's parents gave it to me, they were saving it for him but they said he would have wanted me to have it."

"Wow, and your parents are okay with this?" He asked, doubtfully. "Are you sure it's safe for you to live alone?"

"Well no, but they realised they weren't talking me out of it," I said. "And neither will you. What was your news?"

"Well, you kind of stepped on my toes with your news because I have a new apartment, too," He told me.

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a little boxed in ever since I got home, y'know? So anyway, the building superintendent in our block is leaving, so I got his job. I get his apartment almost rent-free and it's close enough to my parents that I can still get home-cooked food. Plus, I'll have time on the side to focus on my Police Recruitment." He smiled proudly.

"Wow and…wow! So you mean…?" I began.

"Yep, I'm officially a Police Officer Recruit. Family connections. My father's on the force, so…," He explained.

"That's great!" I said, giving him a quick hug.

"I know. I'm really excited," He smiled, then looked down at the box and raised an eyebrow. "Why _exactly_ am I here again, although I think I'm already starting to guess why."

I smiled sweetly at him. "Welllllllll, I need someone to help me paint my new place. So, naturally, you were the first person I thought of."

"Why, cos I'm the only one stupid enough?" He joked.

"No, because you're the nicest, sweetest, loveliest…," I flattered him.

"Okay, okay. I'll help," He smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Great! Okay, so the first thing I need you to do is…," I began, reaching into my bag and handing him some cash. "…go the hardware store for me. I need the paint, and I'd _really_ love not to have to deal with that sexist jerk who runs the store."

"No problem," He said, putting it into his pocket. "What colours d'ya need?"

"Ok, here's the list. I was thinking cream for the bathroom, blue for the living room, light blue for the bedroom and lemon for the kitchen." I told him,

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a second," He stopped me. "If I go in there and ask for lemon-coloured paint he's going to think I'm fruity! Can't I just say yellow?"

"No, Babe. Lemon isn't yellow.," I told him, rolling my eyes.

He screwed up his eyes at me. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," I smiled.

……………………….

Three hours later we were almost finished with the living room.

"I forgot to ask about your brothers, by the way," Babe said to me, breaking the silence we'd had going for about ten minutes.

"Oh, they're fine," I replied. "My little brother should be home any day now. My older brother, on the other hand, won't be home for a while. It's quite a sweet story really, although my mother doesn't think so. Apparently he met an American Nurse from Nevada in New York just before he went out to France. So, when he got back from the war recently, the first thing he did was look for her, but she'd returned to Nevada. So he went all the way out there, rekindled their romance and…to cut a long story short, got married to her there. He won't be home for a while."

"Are you serious?" He asked, surprised.

"Oh yes," I let out a little laugh. "Mom was _livid_. So, when they come over they have to have another ceremony here so that my mom can wear her hat."

Babe laughed. "I'll bet she was mad, jeez. So, what are you doing about the teaching?"

"Oh, funny you should mention that. I spoke to my professors and they said that I could make up the two months I had left starting Monday," I told him.

"Wow, that's fast," He said, impressed.

"Mmm hmmm, apparently you get lot's of special treatment when you're a _war hero_," I rolled my eyes.

"Still, looks like things are shaping up exactly the way we were hoping," He said, then looked at me apologetically, sensing he'd put his foot in it. "I just meant…"

"It's okay, Babe," I said, looking back to the wall to apply more paint. "Don't worry about it."

"You seem to be holding up a little better," He said, carefully watching his words.

"Do I?" I asked, letting out a laugh. "Who are you looking at, Babe?"

"What do you mean?" He asked. "I just meant you seemed to be coping a little better."

I put down the paint brush into the pot and sat on the newspaper-covered floor. "I'm not coping at all, Babe. Why do you think I'm doing all this? I'm just trying to keep myself busy, because every time I think about it…"

"Hey, hey," He said, sitting down next to me and putting an arm around me as I started to cry.

"It's just that," I choked out between sobs. "When he lost his leg and Bastogne and left, I really felt like I'd lost him. But then I felt better, thinking about how I hadn't really lost him at all and he was waiting for me. Who was I kidding? Turns out I was right the first time, I had lost him."

"I know. I know," Babe said, rubbing my arm comfortingly. "I mean, for what it's worth I truly think it's you he loves and he would be with you if he could."

"But that's the problem, Babe! He knew all along that he couldn't! So why did he do that to me? _How could_ he do that to me?" I stressed, blurting out all the questions that had been swirling around my head since that day at the train station. "Plus, now I feel really guilty because Carla is so nice and I've kissed her husband!"

"You've got nothing to feel guilty about," Babe insisted. "You didn't know! No, he's the only one to blame here. I don't know. I'm not defending him here, but it just seems that circumstances were out of his hands and he acted badly. You really need to sit down and talk this all out with him you know, if only for your own peace of mind."

"I know. I will…I think," I said, unsure. "I'm just not ready yet."

"That's understandable," He said. "I'm sorry I brought it up. It was nice to see you smiling again for a little while."

I smiled. "Thanks for making me smile again for a little while again."

"Always a pleasure," He smiled, then raised an eyebrow. "You got a little paint _right_ there."

"Where?" I asked.

He dipped his finger in the paint pot and smeared it across my cheek. "Right _there_."

I gasped then laughed. "Edward Heffron! How dare you!"

I dipped my finger in and smeared it on his cheek.

"You trying to start a fight?" He laughed. I responded by dabbing his arm with my paint brush. "Oh, the fight is on."

He stood up to run away and in excitement he tripped over the paint pot, sprawling hard over the floor as the paint seeped everywhere. He lay still for a moment.

"Babe," I said cautiously, standing over him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," He said, sounding a little winded.

"That's a relief," I said, wiping my forehead and smirking jokingly at him. "Because you owe me a new pot of paint."

He burst out laughing and thrust a hand upwards towards me. "Help me up, then."

Taking pity on him, lying there and covered in paint, I took his hand to help him up but instead he used it to pull me down to the floor with him. "You can call that payback for the pier in Austria!"

"Babe!" I wailed, one half of me totally covered in blue paint. "I look like half of a blueberry!"

"I like blueberries," He laughed at me.

"That's great," I rolled my eyes. "But I don't want to look like half of one.

"Well, here I can fix that. I'll make you into a whole one," He said, starting to turn me round so that my other side was in the paint.

I giggled as I struggled against his hands. Pushing against each other, we both stopped when we realised I'd rolled onto my back with him on top of me. Our eyes locked on each other and I swear there was a little spark of electricity that we both felt. I watched as his lips descended down towards mine.

"Wait!" I said, lightly pushing him away and sitting up. "You have no idea how much that would cheer me up right now, but I can't."

"Sorry," He said, embarrassed. "Just got caught up in the moment."

"Me too," I acknowledged. "But I have to be honest with you. Anything I did with you Babe would've been out of sadness over Bill and some kind of payback towards him. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry," He smiled, standing up and help me up for real. "Back to work?"

"Yes," I smiled, hoping things had smoothed over there then looking at the paint all over the floor. "Oh, well I guess we should move onto the bathroom?"

"Good idea," He said, reaching for the cream paint. "At least I can get washed up in there after we're done. This is going to be so hard to clean off!"

I paused. "Oh, I forgot to mention. I don't have running water yet."

"What?!"

……………

An hour later, I arrived at my parents' (strange to call it that, all of a sudden) door for dinner, having just done the Walk of Shame through the streets of Philly covered in blue paint. I could only imagine the reaction on my their faces when they saw me like this.

"Hey Pop, remember you used to talk about what would happen if I kept eating too many slices of Grandma's blueberry pie?" I said as I walked into the sitting room, trying to make a joke out of it.

I stopped dead in my tracks. The open-mouthed faces of my mother, Carla and Bill stared back at me.

My mother's face flushed deep crimson as she looked at me. "Er…your father isn't here. He's paying James's father a visit. But your friend Bill and his wife Carla came round."

I looked at my mother, trying to convey "how could you let them in?" in my facial expression. She seemed to sense this, and just looked back at me apologetically.

"Gosh, what happened?" Carla asked, looking at me from head to toe.

"I, uh….had an accident with a pot of paint," I said, seemingly finding my voice. "What…what brings you two here?"

"Well it's the funniest darn story you'll ever hear. Bill mentioned to me that your mother did some seamstress work and I noticed the other day that there's a very tiny hole in the back of my wedding dress. Naturally, I was devastated, so I had Bill bring me straight here to your mother. He insisted we shouldn't bother you, but I knew you wouldn't mind us popping round. Right?" She smiled at me.

"Uh…no, of course not," I muttered.

"So then," She continued, excitedly. "Your mother and I got chatting and it turns out there's going to be a wedding very soon in your family. So, money being tight as it is for all of us these days, I suggested that, if the bride and I are around the same size, why doesn't she just borrow my dress. Your mother was so grateful that she invited Bill and I to stay for a light supper."

Once again, I looked at my mother who seemed to slink down into her chair.

"Your mother tells me you have your own apartment?" Carla asked me, looking at me like she couldn't fathom why I would want to live by myself.

"Yes," I said, simply. "Nearby. Fennel Street. I was painting it today."

"Well," She chirped cheerily. "You'll need to have a little housewarming party when it's all ready. I could help you organise that?"

"Uh, I'm going to check on the soup," My mother said, standing up and walking to the kitchen, sensing I was at the end of my tether. "Carla, could you give me a hand? When I was making it earlier it tasted like it was missing something. Perhaps you could help?"

"Certainly," She hopped to her feet and skipped after my mother into the kitchen.

I stared lividly at the ground as soon as Bill and I were alone. "What the hell, Bill?"

"I'm so sorry," He instantly broke into an apology. "She kept saying she wanted to come over. I think she just wants to get to know you. Anyway, I kept telling her no and she started getting suspicious as to why and I panicked and said that we could. I'm so sorry!"

"Suspicious, huh?" I said sarcastically, staring at him. "Naturally you haven't told your darling little wife about me and everything we _had_ over there."

" No I…how could I tell her that?" He asked, staring down at the floor.

"Well, the fact that she has a right to know is the first thing that springs to my mind," I whispered shrilly.

He looked at me, panic in his eyes.

"Don't worry, Bill," I said sitting down on the armchair across from him. "I wouldn't do that to her."

He looked at me, a thousand emotions coming out in his eyes. "Fiona. I think about you all the time."

"What?" I asked, my eyes filling up.

"I'm so in love with you that I…," He began, his voice breaking with emotion.

"Ssshh," I said, putting up a hand to silence him. Hearing this would just set me off, and I couldn't have that with Carla right next door.

"Please…," He pleaded.

I stood up, forcing a look of steely resolve over my face. "Bill, don't come here again. You and your wife are _not_ welcome here."

Tears spilling down my cheeks, I ran to the bathroom to "wash up".


	27. Chapter 27 Family Reunions

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"I have to say, I'm actually very impressed," My father said, looking around my completed new place. "It's very homely."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to trade?" He joked.

"Well, I think it's very nicely done. Obviously her decorating skills she learned from her mother," My mother smiled, patting me on the back. "Come on, let's go back to ours for your last night at home and celebrate. I've got fresh pie."

As we neared our building we noticed a uniform-clad figure sitting on our stoop. Thinking the person kind of looked like Babe made me wonder why he would be wearing his uniform. I walked on ahead of my parents.

"Hey, why are you…?" I started, instantly stopping and gasping. "Doug!"

My little brother looked up at me and smiled, standing up and giving me a hug. "Doug! Mom! Pop! It's Doug!"

"Douglas?" My mother cried out, running up to us and pulling my brother into her arms in a fierce hug. "Douglas, it's true! My little boy, you're home!"

My father gave him a handshake, fiercely proud to have one of his two sons back home again.

Inside, we sat around the table, and drinking from a bottles of wine that my brother had picked up in Italy.

"Should I be worried that my children have brought back so much alcohol?" My mother laughed lightly.

"What were we supposed to do, Mom? They're the best of European wines and cost nothing," Doug laughed.

I laughed along with them but I did notice that my brother was onto his third glass of wine in about 40 minutes. I'd never seen him take a drink in his life before today. Still, I'd seen it out there. The soldiers (myself included, as you may have already read) would usually take a drink when it became available, dulling the pain. Still, it was a slippery slope. I made a mental note to keep an eye on him.

………

The next two months came and went very quickly for me, as I immersed myself into my studies to try and forget about what had happened with Bill. Luckily I was kept so busy that it seemed to work, to the extent that when I thought about what had happened I no longer had the impulse to punch or kick (or both) the nearest wall. Thus, I found myself at the end of November, graduating in front of my family. Admittedly this was all happening a few years after I'd actually intended. Again, being back from the war seemed to provide privileges in the fact that a graduation ceremony was even taking place in November. It had been arranged for ex-enlisted soldiers and nurses like myself who had had to abandon their studies for their country.

Finally, it was my turn to walk up onto the stage to collect my diploma. Trying to appear confident, I stepped on and walked to the podium. As I took the diploma, I turned to the crowd to smile at my parents. Scanning the crowd for them, my eyes fell onto Bill and Babe, sitting at the very back of the hall. I hadn't seen Bill in two months, and my heart started to race. Damn, he still had that effect on me.

After the ceremony, I quickly tried to locate my family. They rushed up to me, giving me hugs.

"Congratulations, Sweetheart," My dad said, beaming. "We're so proud of you."

"Thanks, Pop," I smiled, and turned to hug my mother. "Listen, I'm going to go out for the afternoon, alright?"

"Okay, Sweetheart," My mother said. "Go have fun with your friends, but remember to be back at 8 for your celebration dinner."

I walked up to the back to find the boys. As I walked towards them, I made eye contact with Bill. He gave me a smile, before he turned on his heel and walked off.

"Where is he going?" I asked Babe, as I walked up to him.

"He thought you wouldn't want him to be here," He told me. "But he wanted to see you graduate."

"Oh," I said, strangely happy in a way that he'd been there on my special occasion.

"Congratulations," He said, giving me a hug. "Very proud of you. Please also take a moment to appreciate that I put on a _suit_ for this occasion."

"I didn't fail to notice that, don't you worry," I laughed. "You look very handsome."

"I know," He joked. "So, Miss Anderson. You've graduated and can officially work as a teacher. What do you want to do now?"

"I'm kinda hungry," I laughed.

"O…kay," He said, thinking. He reached for my hands. "Follow me. I know exactly where you and I are headed."

……………..

"You are a genius," I smiled as I sprayed ketchup all over my cheeseburger. "You know I haven't come to the diner since I got back."

"Really?" He asked, shocked.

"Yeah. I haven't even had a cheeseburger," I told him.

"Are you serious?" He asked. "So much for it being the first thing you were gonna do when you got home, huh?"

"Yeah," I said, taking a big bite. "I guess I just got a little sidetracked. Oh my Gosh, though. This is _amazing_."

"Well it's on me, Happy Graduation," He said, adding more mustard to his. "So, Graduate, what's next?"

"Well," I said, between mouthfuls. "I've been offered a job at my old high school teaching French and Spanish, which is great. I loved that school. _But_, the job isn't available until the new school year next September, so I'm going to do some substitute teacher work until then."

"Great," He smiled, eating a french fry.

"I'm sorry I haven't had much time to see you recently," I apologised.

"Don't worry about it, I know you've been studying," He smiled.

"So how's your new place?" I asked.

"It's good. I've moved in now, but I was actually going to ask you something?" He said. "It's a bit plain and needs a few…finishing touches. Needs a woman's touch, if you know what I mean."

"Absolutely, I can do that for you. I guess I owe you since you helped paint mine," I laughed, finishing off my burger. "You wanna go walk these off by the river?"

"Okay," He said, throwing some money on the table and following me out of the door.

"So have you seen Bill a lot?" I asked as we walked.

"Sometimes, yeah. It's harder now that I'm working more but we've caught a few Eagles games together," He told me.

"So…how does he seem?" I asked.

"He's…honestly, he's not the same Bill. I mean, the sense of humour is still there but there's just something different about him. Because of you, I'll bet," He said. "Have you been thinking about him still?"

"No," I said, then wrinkled my nose. "Well okay, that's a lie. I think about him all of the time. I think I'm a bit more level-headed about it…I hope so anyway."

"You know if you just spoke to him it might clear up some of your doubts," He suggested.

"I know, but I don't want to hear about how he's in love with another woman," I said, honestly.

"I'm not even sure he's really in love with her, to be honest," Babe told me. "All I know is his eyes seem to light up more when he talks about you than her."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But hey, who knows. Maybe it could still work out between you two," He said, scratching his head. "Much as I hate to say it."

"No way," I said, rolling my eyes. "He's married, Babe, and you know he can't get divorced."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. We both knew it was the truth. I caught sight of Babe's watch poking out from under his shirt cuff and glimpsed the time. "Oh no! I gotta go! I have to be at my celebration dinner in twenty minutes".

"Okay," He said, standing up.

"Hey," I smiled. "Why don't you come? "

"What?" He asked. "No, no I don't wanna impose."

"You wouldn't be. Come on, please! My parents are anxious to meet you anyway, I've told them all about you," I said, persuasively.

"Well…okay, sure. That'd be great," He said as I began to lead him in the direction of my parents' apartment. "So, you told me about me huh? Just told them the usual, I suppose."

"Oh and what would that be?" I asked as we walked.

"Just that I'm smart, funny, amazingly handsome with a fabulous physique. The usual," He joked.

"You know what Babe, that's _exactly_ what I told them…oh, except for the smart, funny and handsome parts. Oh, and the physique part too," I joked.

…………………

"Mom! Pop! I brought a guest home for dinner, I hope you don't-" I began to say as I opened the front door, but I stopped. In standing with my parents in the sitting room was my eldest brother and a women I presumed to be his new wife. I run up to him, hugging him. "Duncan!"

"Fiona! Good to see you, Squirt! Sorry we didn't make it back in time for your Graduation. We tried to but there were delays on the roads," He said, hugging me back. He pointed to the woman. "This is Sandra."

She was very pretty. Tall, almost as tall as my brother. She had auburn hair and sparkly, bright as that were full of life. I liked her instantly.

"Nice to meet you," I said, throwing formalities aside and pulling her into a hug. "Welcome to the family."

"It's nice to finally meet you," She said.

I motioned at Babe. "Everyone, this is my good, good friend Edward Heffron. I invited him to dinner if that's okay."

"Edward," My father said, giving him the once-over. "Nice to finally meet you."

…………….

"So Fiona comes on the stage with the other backing singer," Babe explained at the table. "The song starts and the lead singer begins her song. It's all going really well until it gets to the part where the backing singers are meant to step in. Fiona just goes into this trance and, for the _entire_ song, stares open-mouthed at the back of the hall. I mean, I've heard of stage fright but this, this was something else."

My entire family burst out laughing. I looked around the table. Everyone was in utter hysterics. Babe was a hit!

"Yep," Babe said, laughing as he put another forkful into his mouth. "We had a lot of good times out there. I remember when we tried to throw Fiona a surprise birthday party."

I burst out laughing at the memory. "They tried to bake me a cake but, I don't know what they did wrong. Make they completely forgot to add flour or something because it looked like a rock."

"Tasted like one too," Babe added.

My parents exchanged some kind of knowing glance.

"I have to say, Edward," My Mother said. It's so refreshing to see a soldier coming back and reminiscing on the good times as opposed to the bad, when obviously it must have been very difficult for you all out there. I mean, since our Douglas has come home he's been very down."

"No I haven't," Douglas muttered from the end of the table.

"Well ma'am, I've found that it's the best way to deal with it. It's is horrible and you see so many things that you'll never forget. But if you let them clog up your mind then you'll never forget and they'll just take your soul, entirely. So, I find that if I remember all of the good times I had and the good friends that I made, I can keep myself more together and it helps me feel like the person I was before I went out there," He explained.

"Well. I'll toast to that," My Father beamed, holding up his glass. We all did the same.

"So about this surprise party…?" My brother asked, intrigued.

"Uh, I think Edward has embarrassed me quite enough this evening, Thank you very much," I said, silencing Babe before he could speak. "Besides, he just likes to tell these stories because he knows he has to do it before I get the chance to talk about all of those times I beat him at darts _and _poker!"

"You play poker now?" Duncan asked, raising his eyebrows. "Wow, you turned into a proper little army girl didn't you."

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Sandra. "Shall we wash up?"

……………..

Sandra and I were washing dishes whilst the others sat in the sitting room, enjoying a bottle of Port that my father had opened especially for the occasion.

"I hope we didn't overwhelm you too much," I said to her. "Meeting us all at once like this."

"No, not at all," She insisted. "I'm from a big family myself so I do okay in big groups. I'm just relieved that your mother doesn't hate me. I thought she would because we got married in Nevada and not here. Honestly, I didn't mean to hurt her. It just felt so right at the time is all."

"I can understand that," I sympathised. "Especially after returning from the war like we did. You feel like you need to everything quickly, because you don't want the chance to slip away from you."

"That's exactly it," She agreed.

"Don't worry either, my mother doesn't hate you at all! She was a little mad when she thought she'd missed the wedding but when she heard you would be doing it all over again over here she was thrilled. A chance for her to wear her hat, it's all she wants really," I laughed.

"I'm so excited about the wedding," She said. "The first one was quite simple. I didn't even have a proper wedding dress. Your Mother showed me the one that I'll be wearing and it's _beautiful_. But, I keep thinking that we better have the wedding sooner rather than later."

"Really, why's that?"

"Because the dress is lovely but it's very figure-hugging and I'm worried I won't be able to hide the fact that I'm pregnant in it soon," She said, waiting for my reaction.

I dropped the plate I was drying.

"Everything alright?" My mother asked, popping her head round.

"Uh…yeah Mom, everything's great!" I said, waiting for her to leave again before I turned back to Sandra. "You're pregnant? That's fantastic!"

"I know! I'm so excited," She gushed. "But _please, please, please_ don't tell your mother."

"Why not? She'll be thrilled!" I assured her.

"I know but I kind of get the impression that, in her head we won't _really_ be married- even though we are- until after the ceremony here. So I think I'll tell her after then," She told me.

"Okay, I won't say anything. Oh my God, I'm going to be an Auntie," I beamed, hugging her.

……………………….

A few days later I found myself sitting in Babe's apartment, admiring my work. He'd left me his key that morning whilst he went to work so that I could add some of those finishing touches I'd promised him I would. I stood up when I heard the front door opening.

"Welcome home," I greeted him and pointed around me. "Ta-da!"

"Oh, let's see what you've done," He said, walking into the sitting room. He pointed at the couch. "What's…what's that on the couch?"

"It's called a throw," I said, confused that he didn't know what it was.

"What does it do?" He asked.

"Well it's really good because it protects the sofa, for example if you spill anything on it you're not spilling it on the sofa but o the throw instead. Plus, if you have a nap on the couch, you can use it as a blanket," I explained.

"Well that's good, I guess. Practical," He said, following me into the kitchen. He stopped when he looked at the teapot. "A tea-cosy? Oh Fiona I don't know about that."

"What?" I asked, surprised. "What's wrong with the tea-cosy?"

"Well it's a little girly and, hey, what's that smell?" He asked, concerned.

"It's potpourri," I told him. "It makes your apartment smell nice for when you have guests over. No offence but when I got here all I could smell was this sort of cooked chicken smell."

"I guess," He said, slightly unconvinced. "Kind of messing with the bachelor-pad atmosphere I was trying to create, but okay."

I burst out laughing. "Bachelor pad? Babe, like you've even had any girls back here."

"Hey, you don't know," He said, defensively.

"I'm sorry," I laughed. "But…have you?"

"…No. But I could if I wanted to," He said, trying to be aloof. "So, any mail?"

I reached for the pile of letters I'd placed on his kitchen counter. "Here."

"Bill, bill, another bill…hey what's this one?" He said, flicking through them and picking out one in particular.

"Oh, I got mine in the post this morning," I said. "It's an invitation to the first Easy Reunion in New York in two weeks time."

"First Reunion, huh?" He laughed. "Weren't we all supposed to have that about 2 months ago?"

"Yeah, I guess everyone finally got it together," I laughed. "I can't wait. It'll be so good to see them again."

………….

NOTE- next chapter…Easy Reunion : )


	28. Chapter 28 Lost in a Moment

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Here's a free one," Babe said, opening a carriage door as we all shuffled into it.

Babe, Spina, Bill, Carla and myself were all catching the train to New York City for the Easy Reunion. What a journey that would make for.

"I'm so excited," Carla mused. "I've never been to New York City in my life."

"You'll love it," Spina told her. "It's the best city I've ever been to. Full of life!"

"So, Bill, what are you working in these days?" I asked in a friendly manner, not wanting Carla to notice anything untoward, especially in this confined space where we were very much in each others' faces.

Bill paused from putting his suitcase into the storage compartment and blinked at me, seemingly at the friendly tone of voice I was using.

"Bill's doing contract work," Carla answered for him. "Getting a lot of work, too."

"Very nice," I said, smiling amicably at him and turning to Carla. "So, did you bring a nice dress for the party?"

I couldn't help but wonder as I listened to her reply why on earth Bill would bring her with him to this reunion, an event where she would most definitely find out what had happened between us. I supposed that she'd strongly insisted on coming along. As I pondered this, what shocked me more that, where normally I should be happy that he could potentially be found out, I was already hatching a plan in my head to stop Carla from hearing about it.

……………..

Upon arriving at the Station, we made our way to the New York Royal Hotel to check in. The same hotel we'd stayed in several months previously. The only hotel we actually knew in New York.

"Okay, so everyone is meeting in the Hotel Bar at 7.30 p.m.," I told Carla and Bill, as we got off of the elevator at our floor.

"Okay, well we'll see you tonight then," Carla smiled as she and Bill disappeared into their room.

"Why'd you tell them that?" Babe asked me, as we walked further down the corridor. "We're meeting at 7."

"Because I want them to be late, Babe," I told him, before opening my room door with the large metal key. "See you tonight."

I shut my room door behind me.

………………….

I walked down to the hotel bar at 7 p.m on the dot, dressed to the nines in a knee-length red silk evening dress, a black-feather Fascinator attached to my head and long black evening gloves. Yes, I was still in a period of compensating for the years of wearing grubby Army Scrubs.

"Evening Ma'am," The Man on the door said, as he opened the door to let me in. Fancy place.

I walked inside, loving the atmosphere. Low-lighting and excited chatter, with a woman singing "We'll Meet Again" on a small stage, accompanied by a man with glasses on a large, white Grand Piano. Scanning the room, I spotted a familiar person standing by the bar, nursing a glass of Bourbon.

"George Luz," I smiled, walking over to him. "So this is what you like in Civilian clothes."

"Why Miss Anderson," He said, turning round to look at me. What a difference. He looked young, and youthful again and it seemed he had lost the worry-lines that we'd all grown during our time there. "Of all the bars in all the world…"

"Yeah, yeah," I laughed, giving him a hug. "It's so good to see you. Are you the first one here?"

"Yes, indeed," He said. "I was ready early and I couldn't sit in my room, there was a cockroach _this _big and…"

"Argh, don't tell me anymore," I said, screwing up my face. Maybe not such a perfect hotel after all.

"So, can I expect a dance later?" He asked, moving his feet around in a little jig.

"Well gee, George, maybe if you buy me a drink first," A voice interrupted behind us.

"Don!" I smiled, hugging him.

"Nice to see you two," He smiled and motioned to the pretty brunette next to him. "This is my girl, Irene. Irene, this is George and Fiona."

"Nice to meet you," I shook her hand.

"So where do you suppose everyone is?" George asked.

Suddenly we were all disturbed by a high-pitched whistle coming from a nearby table. We all turned round to see more or less the entire company sitting at a nearby table, sipping champagne and waving us over.

"Guess you weren't the first one here after all," I said to George, laughing as we walked over.

"What? Were you all wearing earpieces?" Perco asked sarcastically. "We've been trying to get your attention for ages!"

"Sorry," I laughed, hugging and kissing them all in turn before taking a seat and a big glass of champagne. It was nice to see that that a lot of the men had brought their wives and girlfriends with them. It was nice to see them getting on with their lives after the war.

"So, Fiona, where's Bill?" Buck asked.

"He's upstairs, I think," I said. "He should be here soon."

"Huh," He said, confused. "You didn't come together?"

"No," I said, simply. Confused glances were exchanged around the table. "Bill and I aren't together anymore."

"What?" Perco asked, raising his eyebrows. "What the hell happened?"

"Oh, you know," I said, lying and trying to act blasé. "It just didn't work out."

"Shit," Malarkey said, simply.

"It's okay," I smiled. "These things happen. It was mutual. We're still friends, thought. He's actually married now."

"He is?" Johnny Martin asked. "Wow, I didn't see that one coming."

"Wait until you meet her, she's really nice," I said, praying my acting ability was keeping the fact that I wanted to cry discreet. "But I have to ask a favour. When they come down, which should be any minute, don't mention that anything happened between us. She doesn't know and we're good friends now so I don't think it would do her any good to find out."

"Okay," they agreed, uncomfortably.

I looked up and saw Babe and Spina giving me odd looks. They, of course, knew the truth. I just gave them a little smile and a pleading look, which they responded to with small nods as they sipped from their glasses. I took an extra big swig of my champagne as normal chatter resumed. I hated to lie to the guys but I really felt it was for the best, with regards to all aspects.

Suddenly I looked around the table, realising for the first time that Eugene wasn't there. "Isn't Eugene coming?"

"No, he said he couldn't make it," the Major replied. "He said he had to work."

"Oh," I said, disappointed.

"Hey fellas," Bill said, appearing out of nowhere, Carla in tow.

They all stood up to shake hands with him. I smiled as they couldn't conceal their excitement at seeing their old pal again.

"This is Carla, my wife," Bill said, nervously, as if waiting for the big gasps to sound out. They didn't. The men simply kissed her, one-by-one, on the cheek and introduced themselves. Confused, Bill looked at me. I gave him a small smile and he looked back at me, overwhelmed.

"Carla, have some champagne," I said, offering her a glass.

"Ooh fantastic," She said reaching for it then stopped, wrinkling her nose. "Actually, I think I'll just have some orange juice."

"Hey hey, Fellas!" Liebgott cried out, coming up to us open-armed. Fashionably late, it seemed. "Wow, the journey I had to make to get here. I had to change trains FIVE times! That's right, FIVE. So I could really do with a beer."

The men cheered as they saw him, hugging him and shaking his hand.

"Hi, Lieb," I said, standing up to kiss his cheek.

"Fiona! Or these days should I be calling you Mrs-" He started.

"Lieb! Come to the bar with me so we can catch up! I need to get Carla an orange juice," I panicked, standing up, taking his hand and near-dragging him to the bar.

"Woah, what gives!" He gasped, near ramming straight into the railing at the bar.

"Sorry, Lieb. It's a long story," I said, explaining the "cover story" to him as we waited for the juice.

"Geez, I'm sorry to hear that," He said, patting my shoulder sympathetically after I'd told him everything. "I won't say anything but, I gotta tell ya, that's a shocker. I thought you two would be married by now."

"Well, these things happen, Lieb," I said, shrugging my shoulder. And the award for the best actress goes to…

…...

As the night went on, we ended up back in that same bar we'd ended up in on our Goodbye Evening, insisting we just _had_ to as we had history there. This was all much to Webster's chagrin though, because, after coming up short with the Manhattan knowledge last time, he'd researched and sourced several of the cities hottest nightspots for us all to try but we'd ended up back there.

The fellas with partners took to the dance floor for slow waltzes, most of them presumably happy they didn't have to work hard to get a dance partner like last time.

"Come on," Luz said, reaching for my hand to lead me to the floor.

"No, I think I'll just sit for a while!" I yelled in his ear against the noise. I squeezed his hand and made for the table some of the others were sitting at. I sat at the far end, alone, surveying the happy couples. I watched as Malarkey and Irene sang happily together along with the music cheek-to-cheek, as Lip and his wife swung each other around the floor, full of laughter and reckless abandon. Finally, I looked at Bill and Carla, as, giggling and rosy-cheeked, she tried to coerce him into dancing more freely than he was. Although the seething anger I'd initially felt had more or less disappeared, the hurt was very much still there, and I couldn't shake the nagging feel that it should have been me out there. I reached for a glass and the bottle of whatever was in the Chill Bucket and filled it up, taking a long drink. I sat through three songs, just watching the dancers, as if in some kind of trance.

"Wow, the table's going to need a new bottle soon," Babe remarked, sitting down across from me, blocking my view of the floor and snapping me back to reality. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, as if on auto-response.

"Why did you lie to all of the fellas?" He asked.

I took another swig. "It's better this way, Babe."

"Not better for you," He pointed out.

"It's better this way," I repeated, firmly. "I wouldn't want her to find out this way. In fact, I don't want her to find _at all_."

"Okay," He said, reaching across the table and putting his hand over mine and looked me square in the eye. "You know Fiona, you say over and over that you've accepted they're married and you'll never have him. So why can't you just move on? I know it takes time but you just seem to be letting yourself wallow more and more in a pool of self-pity. It's time to move on."

He stood up and walked off to the bar, leaving me with those parting words. Reflecting on this, I re-filled my glass.

"Drowning your sorrows?" Luz asked, motioning for me to scoot up so that he could sit.

"What?" I asked, moving up the booth as he sat down.

"Nothing. Beautiful couple, aren't they," He noted, motioning at Bill and Carla.

"Very," I swallowed hard.

"So why didn't it work out?" He asked, casually.

"Oh, you know…," I began, but stopped. I couldn't think of any more lies to tell.

"You know, Fiona, I think I must be a better judge of character than all of the other guys here because I may be the only one who noticed how badly you were lying earlier," He said, matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, appearing confused.

"Don't bullshit me," He said, cocking his head to the right. "You and Bill. What _really_ happened?"

"I told you what happened, George," I said.

"No, you told us what you wanted us to believe. I'm asking you what actually happened," He said, giving me a sympathetic smile that told me he wasn't going to let up on any of this.

"George…," I started, then looked at the ground, embarrassed.

"Hey, it's okay. You can talk to me," He said, putting a hand over mine and giving it a supportive squeeze.

"Bill was engaged to Carla the whole time we were in the forces. Now, I don't deny that he was in love with my over there, but I just think maybe his past caught up with him when he got back," I said, spilling out everything.

"Shit," Luz said, putting his hand over his mouth in shock.

"It's okay, George," I said. "I've had time to deal with it."

"I'm so sorry," He said, giving me a hug. "I never should have pushed."

"It's fine. They say what's for you won't go by you. I'm a strong believer that you can't shape your own future. Fate brought us together, and it's up to fate to decide if we'll ever be together again," I said, pushing my empty glass away from me.

"I suppose," He said, then nudged me in the ribs in an attempt to lighten the increasingly dour atmosphere. "You know, I always thought you should be with Babe anyway."

"What?" I asked, embarrassed.

"Come on, you know he's crazy about you," George chuckled.

"Let's not discuss this, George," I let out a small laugh. "I think my love life should be void for the next few years. I'm not very good at it."

"Don't be silly," He laughed, re-filling my glass. "I think you could use another drink."

"Fiona, will you dance with me a moment," Toye asked, walking up to the table.

"Uh…sure, why not," I said, following him over to the floor. At least it was a slow song.

We danced the first half of the song in silence.

"I'm sorry," He suddenly blurted.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry, Joe?" I asked, a little taken aback.

"I have to tell you something, and I don't think you're going to like me after I do," He admitted, nervously. "But I have to tell you, it's only right."

"Okay," I said, bracing myself.

"I…I knew about Carla," He said, quietly. "Over in Europe. I knew Bill was engaged."

"You did?" I asked, stiffening.

"Yes. I'm so sorry. I should have told you," He said.

"Why didn't you?"

"Honestly, you and I were good friends but we weren't close like I was to Bill. I just thought it was a wartime fling, we all had 'em, and that afterwards you'd go your separate ways. It wasn't until I was in the hospital with him when our legs were blown off that I saw how much he missed you and how much he loved you," He told me.

My lip quivered a little but I stiffened it. "It's okay, Joe."

…………….

After the dance with Joe I made straight for the ladies room. Locking myself in a cubicle, I sat down and pointed my head straight down, catching teardrops in my hand so that they wouldn't make my cheeks puff out. I wondered if anyone else had known that whole time. I didn't blame Joe. He was right, I hadn't been that close to him and it made sense that he could have assumed it to be nothing more than a fling. A lot of the attached soldiers had taken comfort in other women whilst out there. I knew though, in my heart, that with Bill it had been more.

I walked out of the cubicle and over to the sink where I took a long drink of water. Suddenly, the sound of someone being sick in the other cubicles distracted me.

"Are…are you alright in there?" I asked, knocking on the door.

The door opened, and Carla walked out.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine," She said, washing her hands slowly in the sink before turning to me. "I've just been getting my morning sickness as night."

I froze to the spot. "I'm sorry. Your what?"

"My morning sickness," She repeated, calmly.

"You're…," My legs felt like they were going to buckle from under me, so I grabbed onto the ceramic basin. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes," She burst into a big smile. "I haven't told Bill, but I know he's going to be so thrilled to be a daddy."

"I…," I stuttered, utterly lost for words as all of the colour drained from my face.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" She asked, squinting at me.

"I…I don't know what to say. I…. Congratulations," I choked out, before turning on my heel and out of the restroom.

…………….

Without stopping, I ran as fast as I could in my heels back through the club and out onto the street outside. Breathing uncontrollably, I leaned against the wall and tried to process everything. Pregnant? She was pregnant? How could that be? Well, obviously I knew _how_ it could be but…_how_! No matter how I tried to reason it in my head, it just seemed like the final nail had been hammered into the coffin of the relationship that Bill and I had once had.

"Fiona! There you are!" Babe said, running outside and grabbing me before my legs buckled once more. He led me over to a nearby bench. "Sit down."

"T-thanks," I mumbled, clinging onto him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," I said, clearing my head a little. "Babe…I want to go back to the hotel. Do you think that you could take me?"

"Uh, yeah sure," He said, helping me up. "Let's go."

……….

He physically had to help me to the hotel, it seemed, with one arm around my waist. He led me along the corridor and to my room door.

"Do you have your key?" He asked.

I didn't even bother looking for it, shaking. "B-Babe, I don't really want to be alone tonight. Could I sleep in your room?"

"In my room?" He said, his eyes shifting. "Uh…yeah, no problem."

He opened his room door and led me inside, sitting me down on the bed, before getting me a glass of water from the bathroom.

"Thanks," I said, taking a sip before setting it down on the floor and putting my head on his shoulder.

He rubbed my back, comforting me. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," I said, monotonously.

"Come on," He said, turning round to face me, putting his hands on either side of my shoulders. "Talk to me."

Suddenly, I looked at him. I mean really looked at him. I could see genuine concern and feelings for me in his eyes. He really cared about me. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to kiss him. He kissed me back for a few seconds.

"Woah, wait a second," He said, pulling back. "What's going on here?"

I sat back, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I thought you wanted…"

"Oh, you know I've always wanted it," He said, emotionally, avoiding my eye contact. "But you need to tell me what's happened."

I looked into his eyes. "Please, Babe. I don't want to talk. I don't want to think. Please just…be with me tonight."

He paused for a few seconds before opening his mouth to say something. But he stopped, looking into my eyes. No more words were spoken as he pulled me towards him in a deep kiss. It was soft and gentle, and I felt my mind begin to clear. Standing up, we fumbled around, peeling off each others' clothing clumsily. Desperately and hungrily, we fell backwards onto the bed, the kissing never stopping. As his hands explored my body and began tugging at my underwear, all of my worries melted away and I was lost in the moment. That very moment. Consequences? They were for tomorrow.


	29. Chapter 29 Alive

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

As the sun began to rise the following morning, I stirred to the sound of a bird chirping on the window ledge. Rubbing one eye I heard breathing behind me and the memories of the previous night flooded back to me. Feeling Babe's hard chest at my back and his arm draped securely across my waist, I was surprised that the first thing I felt was warm and safe and, surprisingly, no regret. Despite this, however, all I could think about was the consequences I was going to have to face over this. Lightly, I turned myself round to face him, careful not to wake him. Watching the illumination the rising sun was casting on his face, I lightly stroked his forehead. He mumbled in his sleep- he would soon wake up. I didn't feel like dealing with those consequences right now. I was happy in enough just to be in the moment. Kissing him on the forehead and gently detangling myself from him, I quickly dressed and left the room to shower.

………………

After showering, I walked down to the hotel restaurant to have breakfast, hopefully with some of the other men if they were there, too.

I walked in and spotted some of them, looking worse for wear, all seated around a long table. Babe hadn't come down yet. I waved over at them and walked over towards the breakfast buffet. Yawning, I placed some fruit on my plate.

"Morning," Carla said, joining the queue behind me.

"Oh, hi," I said, turning round to greet her.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked, concerned. "We couldn't find you last night. I was worried because when I saw you in the bathroom you didn't seem like you were feeling okay, when I was…telling you my news."

"Your news? What ne-" I said, and stopped, as it all flooded back to me. Carla was _pregnant_. I almost dropped my plate. "You're pregnant."

"Ssssh," She said, looking around. "Keep your voice down. Sorry to be harsh there, but I haven't told Bill yet…or anyone actually. I just want to wait until the timing is perfect, you know?"

"I understand," I said, looking away. "I won't say anything."

"Thanks," She said, smiling at me. "So, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, quietly, pouring myself a glass of juice and almost wishing I had some vodka to mix with it. "I'm sorry I left, I just wasn't feeling well. Too much drink, I suppose."

"Oh, you poor thing," She said, sympathetically. "Guess I won't be drinking for a while."

"No you won't," I said, dryly. I picked up cutlery as I walked past the end of the buffet table. "Congratulations, again."

I walked over to the table with my plate and glass, sitting down at the nearest seat.

"Kill me now," Luz moaned from across the table.

"Sore head?" I asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe,"

"What were you drinking?" I asked.

"Whatever was going. Beer, rum, whiskey _and_ wine," He said, head in his hands.

"Luz, luz," I scolded, jokingly. "What did I always tell you? _Never_ mix the grain and the grape."

"You're one to talk," He said, throwing a piece of fruit at me. "You were drinking it last night like it was going outta style. What gives? Why aren't you like me this morning?"

"I don't know," I lied. "But I feel really great this morning."

"Morning," Babe said, sitting down next to me.

It took me by surprise, and I coughed, a piece of pineapple getting stuck in my throat. "Uh…good morning."

"Sleep well, buddy?" Luz asked him.

"Like a log," Babe said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I looked away.

"Hey, where did you two go last night? We were lookin' for you but we couldn't find you," George asked.

"Oh, I drank too much, like you said, and Babe found me outside feeling pretty ill, so he took me home," I said, too quickly.

"Oh," George raised an eyebrow. "I see."

"I'm gonna go get some more juice," Babe said, going back to the buffet table.

"Okay, what's going on here?" George asked as soon as we were alone again.

"What do you mean?" I asked nonchalantly, eating a grape.

"Come on! I'm not stupid, you two can't even look at each other!" He cried. "Did something happen?"

"No!" I insisted.

"Yeah right," George rolled his eyes. "I know I'm no David Webster but I'm not completely stupid. You can't look at each other, but you both have the rosiest cheeks and neither of you can hide your little smiles."

"Sshhh," I hissed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't I?" He said, smiling coyly, beginning to stand up. "I guess I'll just have to go ask Babe then.

"Waaaaait," I said, pulling him back down into his chair. "Alright, I'll tell you. Babe and I…we had a moment, okay?"

"A moment?" George repeated. "Enlighten me. What's a _moment_?"

"Ssssh," I said, watching Babe walk back to the table. "You know what I'm talking about. Now ssshh, he's coming."

"They ran out of apple," Babe said, sitting down.

"Shame," George said, giggling a little at everything as he stood up. "Well, I'm off to get my things together before I have to check-out. I'll leave you two…alone."

"Bye George," I said curtly, my eyes spitting fire at him as he left. I'd have to get him back for that.

"Did you sleep okay?" Babe asked, awkwardly.

"Uh, yeah," I said, shyly. "You?"

"Yeah"

Silence.

"So why did you leave this morning?" He asked me, sounding hurt.

"I'm sorry," I said, still not able to look him in the eye. "I didn't know how you'd feel, and I was feeling a little embarrassed at how forward I was last night and…"

"Do you regret it?" He asked, bluntly.

"No, I don't regret it, Babe," I said. "But it was very irresponsible and for that I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," He said, emotionally. "I'm not."

"I…," I said, standing up. "I better go and pack my things, our train leaves in two hours."

I walked quickly to my room and sat down on the bed.

_Knock knock._

Slowly I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. It was George.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Sure," I said, motioning him inside.

"I just wanted to talk to you some more about what happened downstairs. I know I kid around, but I can see this is really getting to you," He said. "Sorry for giving you a hard time."

"Hey, I've given as good as I've gotten in the past," I joked. "Don't worry about it."

"So…," He said, motioning for me to start talking.

I sighed as I sat down in a nearby armchair. "I had a really good time. A _really_ good time. But, who knows what it means."

"Well he likes you," George said.

"Maybe. Maybe I like him too. But I don't know what that means, and I don't know if I'm in the right frame of mind right now to offer him anything more. Know what I mean?"

"I know," He said. "It's okay though, you don't have to figure all of this out at once."

"No?" I asked.

"No, the guy's waited over a year for you," George laughed.

"I don't want to hurt him, George," I said. "And I really think I have the potential to."

"Hey," He said, patting my hand. "Don't worry so much. We fought a war so that you could be worry-free!"

I mumbled in reply.

"Hey," He said, looking at his watch. "I need to take off if I'm going to be back in Rhode Island by dinnertime."

"Okay," I said, walking him to the door. "Thanks for stopping by George. It was so good to see you again. I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. Come here, give me a hug." He said, pulling me into a bear hug and whispering into my ear. "I know things haven't worked out the way you wanted them to, but look around at what you _do_ have. The guy's a 10, Fiona."

……………..

The train ride home was fairly uncomfortable. No one really spoke, but then most of us were hung over so, like Spina, I slept during the whole thing more or less. Or I pretended to, at least.

When we got back to Philly, I headed straight for my parents' place. I needed to talk to my mom.

"Mom, did you ever have anything that you regretted?" I asked, sipping a cup of coffee.

"What do you mean, Sweetie?" She asked.

"Have you ever done anything that felt right at the time but that might really have been a mistake?"

"Is everything okay?" She asked, concerned.

"Oh, yeah," I put on a smile. "I was just asking hypothetically."

"Okay, well to answer your question…no, I don't regret anything I've ever done. I'm a big believer in everything happening for a reason." She said, smiling.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. I've always believed that everything that happens to you, happens for a reason."

…………….

As I trudged home that evening, when I got to my apartment door I felt like I didn't even want to open it. Instead, I turned on my heel and headed for Babe's apartment without even thinking about what I was going to say when I got there.

I stood outside for a few seconds, building the courage to knock on the door.

"Stupid," I whispered to myself, turning around to walk away.

"Is someone there?" Babe asked, opening the door and looking out. "Fiona?"

"Hi," I said, turning round, feeling stupid. "Surprise."

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Do you want to come in?"

I nodded, and followed him inside to the kitchen, where he gave me a glass of water.

"I'm sorry," I said. "For not being honest with you this morning. The truth is that I was scared. I didn't want to deal with the consequences of what happened."

"Consequences?" He asked.

"I had a wonderful night with you, Babe," I said. "But I don't think I have anything to offer you, or anyone, right now."

He looked down. "That's okay."

"No, it's not. I don't want you to think you mean nothing to me, because you know how I feel about you. It's just that I don't think I'm in the right place to give you what you want."

He just looked down.

"I was also scared because I thought I'd feel guiltier about sleeping with you than I did," I admitted.

"You didn't feel guilty?" He asked.

"No, Babe. I didn't. What I felt was safe, protected, loved…and alive."

"Alive?"

"Yeah, you made me forget everything. When I was with you, it was like everything just melted-" I said, but stopped as he reached forward, pulling me into a deep kiss.

"Woah," I said. "What are you doing?"

"Making you feel alive," He breathed into my neck.

"But I told you that I can't…," I began to say, despite willingly letting him fumble at my blouse buttons.

"Shut up," He said, sighing. Picking my up and kissing me again. "I want you so much.

"Even if it means …," I asked, slipping my hands under his shirt.

"Even if it's meaningless," He said.

"Babe?" I breathed, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Yeah?"

"Where's the bedroom?"

………………………


	30. Chapter 30 The Truth Will Out

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

The next morning, I awoke (after what had turned out to be an extremely sleepless night) to the tickling sensation of Babe running his finger down my nose.

"Wakey wakey," He whispered.

"Babe?" I whispered, groggily. "What time is it?"

"it's 10 a.m.," He said, setting a large tray down in front of me.

"What's all this?" I asked, surprised. I sat up to look down at the tray of bacon, eggs and a large muffin.

"Breakfast," He said, sheepishly.

"Awww," I gushed. "I've never had breakfast in bed before!"

"It's no big deal," He said, flexing his muscles. "Doesn't make me any less manly."

"Of course not," I said, laughing and nodding firmly. "Even the little napkin here that you've folded into a flower doesn't make you any less of a man."

"Hey that's quick thinking is what that is," He laughed, defending himself. "I don't exactly keep flowers in my one-MAN apartment."

"Well, I appreciate it all," I said, reaching for the muffin. I held it out to him. "First bite?"

He let out a little laugh and leaned forward, placing a kiss gently on my lips.

"What was that for?" I asked, taken aback.

"For actually staying the night," He laughed, biting into the muffin.

I gasped, jokingly. "You didn't think I would?"

"Well," He rolled his eyes, smiling. "Your track record isn't exactly…"

"Sometimes people surprise you," I laughed, cramming the muffin into his mouth to shut him up.

He took the tray out of my hands and set it down on the bedside table.

"Hey, I was eating," I laughed.

"You can eat later," He said, pulling me into another kiss. "Besides, you need to work up an appetite."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, flirtatiously. "What are you suggesting?"

"I think you know what I'm sug-" He started, laying me back down on the bed.

_Ding Dong._

He kept on kissing me.

"Babe, the door," I laughed.

"I didn't hear anything, honest," He said, kissing me.

_Ding Dong_.

"Did you hear _that_?" I asked sarcastically.

"Just ignore it. They can write me a letter," He said, kissing my neck.

_Knock Knock Knock._

"It could be work. You're the building superintendent, remember dummy," I laughed. "Someone might have a pesky maintenance problem."

He groaned, pulled on his pants and walked to the door. "Geez alright, I'm comin'! I'm comin'!"

"I'll put some coffee on," I shouted after him, grabbing his shirt (the nearest piece of clothing) and putting it on before walking to the kitchen.

I put the water on to boil and starting searching through his cupboards for everything else.

"Where's the sugar?" I whispered to myself, rooting through the cupboards. "If I was sugar, where would I be?"

I gave up, and shouted through the living room, where I could hear voices talking. "Babe! Where do you keep your sugar?"

I heard the muffled voices suddenly getting louder.

"Is that Fiona in there?" A voice said, sounding as though it was getting closer. "What's she doing here? She should come to the game with us. Hey, Fiona!

"No buddy, wait. Don't go in there," Babe called out after whoever it was.

"Hey, Fiona! What are you do-," The person burst into the kitchen and immediately stopped talking.

I turned round and gasped. "Bill!"

Bill stared at me, mouth agape. I was suddenly very aware that I was wearing nothing but Babe's shirt that was too big for it. Embarrassed, I immediately started tugging at the bottom of it.

Babe burst into the kitchen, immediately sensing the awkward atmosphere. "Hey. I totally forgot Bill and I were going to see an Eagles games today."

"Oh," I said, putting on a smile. "That's nice."

"So, I'll just get dressed and we'll get going, okay buddy?" Babe said, looking awkwardly at Bill.

Bill was silent for a few seconds, then snapped back to reality, clearing his throat. "Uh. I actually gotta go. Sorry. I can't make it today. I gotta do…a thing. See you later, pal."

He turned and walked quickly out of the apartment.

Babe and I looked at each other anxiously.

"_That_ wasn't good," I said, biting my nails. "I should get dressed and go talk to him."

Babe sighed, and held his hand up. "No, it's okay. I'll go."

"Do you even know where he'll be?"

"I don't know," He said, pulling on his clothes. "I'll check the usual places. He might go to the Irish bar down the street. We went there a few times for beers."

"Okay," I said, a little shaken.

"It'll be okay," Babe said, kissing me on the forehead before going after Bill.

When he was gone, I hunted out my clothes and dressed myself. Despite what Babe said, I knew it was time for Bill and I to talk, too.

………….

Now, I wasn't actually there but the following is what happened between Bill and Babe, according to what they've told me over the years.

Babe walked into Paddy's, their local drinking haunt, to find Bill slumped over a bar stool, downing a whiskey.

"You alright, buddy?" Babe asked, putting a hand on Bill's shoulder.

"Get off me," Bill said, angrily, shaking Babe's hand off.

"Hey," Babe said, cautiously.

"How long, Babe?" Bill said, spinning round on his stool to face him. "How long after I left did you wait until you got into her pants?"

"That's not fair, Bill," Babe said, firmly.

"No?" Bill asked. "You crossed a line here, Babe!"

"_I_ crossed a line? You got married!" Babe shot back.

"You know what happened there, Babe," Bill said dryly.

"Yeah, I know, but you still have to accept some responsibility. You don't have the right to be angry at me,"

"I just think it's wrong if you're just doing it for the sex, taking advantage of her when she's had a shock," Bill said.

"You think I'm doing it for the sex?" Babe asked, seething.

"Well, why else would you be?"

"What the hell do you know. I'll tell you why- I love her. Okay? That's why!"

"You love her?" Bill asked, squinting. "When the hell did that happen?"

"Oh, about the same time you did," Babe spat out. "That's right, but you got there first! And just so you know it kills me that she doesn't love me back because she's too hung up over you! _You_, a guy who never even deserved her. If anyone here didn't have the right, Bill, it was _you_, and you knew it all along! You knew you had a fiancée waiting for you!"

This, if I can point out, was the precise moment that I walked into the bar.

"I had no idea. I also had no idea I couldn't trust _you_, Babe! I'm just surprised you didn't tell her straight away after my accident about Carla, so you could get into her pants faster!" Bill shouted.

I gasped. They both looked over at me. Babe's face fell.

"You…you knew?" I asked him, shocked.

"Fiona, I…," he stuttered.

"Babe, did you or did you not know about her when we were over there?" I demanded.

"I…I knew, but…," He started.

"You bastard," I whispered, before running out of the pub.

He caught up with me almost instantly, grabbing my arm. "Wait a second!"

"No!" I shouted, ripping my arm away. "You knew and you didn't tell me! All of that time of there you saw me crying my heart out and banging on and on about how I was looking forward to a life with Bill when I got back and you never said a thing! How could you, Babe? When Bill left, I trusted you more than anyone! I never expected this Babe, not from you," I said, before running off.

He watched me, looking crestfallen, as I ran off.

…………….

I ran back to my apartment, opening the door and running inside. I went into the kitchen and splashed water on my face and dried it off with a towel.

_Knock knock._

I walked over to the door and leaned my back against it, sighing. "Who is it?"

"It's Bill."

My heart began to thump. I turned round and opened the door. "Come in."

He walked in slowly. "Nice place. Like what you've done with it."

"Bill, you didn't come here for small talk," I said. "Let's just talk this thing out."

"So you've been sleeping with Babe," He said, instantly.

I looked down. "It's not really any of your business…but yes. Does that bother you?"

"What do you think?" He asked.

"I don't know, that's why I asked you," I said, pointedly.

"I just want to know why you're sleeping with him! If it's to get back at me or what? And yes, it bothers me!"

"Why?" I asked.

"It bothers me because...," his voice cracked. "Because he's had a part of you that I'll never have."

I suddenly felt rage coursing through my veins, and I exploded. "And whose fault is that, Bill?! It's a part of my you _could easily_ have had! It's a part I _wanted_ to give you! But you messed it all up, Bill!"

"I told you, I can explain…," He started, but I cut him off.

"And you wanna know why I've been sleeping with Babe? Because when I do, I get to be with someone that I know _really _cares about me. I get to feel like a whole, complete person for a while," I ranted. "Because, for a while, I can forget the excruciating pain of the hole that was ripped out of my heart the day that I found out the man I was in love with had married someone else whilst I thought he was back home waiting for me, waiting for our future to begin!"

Unable to control them, the tears began to spill down my face. Bill looked at me, horrified, seeing firsthand for the first time the real effect that his actions had had.

He sat down, dumbfounded on the couch and patted the space next to him. "Please sit down."

I sat next to him, wiping at my eyes.

"I…I know you spoke to Carla about all of this, but I've been wanting to tell you my side of the story. Carla and I were together before I left for Taccoa. Yes, I proposed to her before I left," He said. "I realise now it's not really what I wanted but…"

"But you must have meant it at the time," I said, matter-of-factly.

"I did," He nodded. "I was a kid, though. I didn't really know what I wanted it. I was just about to go fight a war, and, much as I didn't think so at the time, I was scared shitless. I didn't know if I was coming back and I guess I just needed something hang onto, something to steer me home."

"That's…understandable," I had to admit it.

"When I came back to South Philly after getting my leg blown off in Bastogne, she met me at the airport. She was so happy to see me again, and I couldn't find the right time to tell her about you and that I couldn't marry her. I mean, don't get me wrong I still cared about her, but it wasn't like you and I, nowhere near it," He explained further.

"So then you married her why? Because you couldn't tell her?" I asked.

"No, I was definitely going to tell her that I couldn't marry her. But one day she'd told me we were going to a birthday party for her grandfather, so I had her suit on and her brothers were meant to pick me up. They took me to the church and the next thing I knew I was standing opposite her in a wedding dress in front of all of our family and friends."

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"It turns out that she'd been planning the wedding the whole time I was in the paratroopers. She wanted it to be a surprise for me when I got back. A surprise wedding, can you believe?" He said, sadly.

"Oh my God," I whispered. What a situation. A nightmare for Bill but Carla must have thought he would have been so happy to get a surprise like that!

"So like I said, there I was in front of a church-full of people, all of them waiting for me to recite my vows. How could I explain to her_ then_ about what had happened. I couldn't embarrass her like that. I _had _to marry her," He said, his lip quivering.

I put my head in my hands and sighed deeply. "This is all so messed up."

He reached out and held my hands. "When I met you over there, I found my soul mate. A woman who I loved and still love today, more than anything or anyone. "

My heart melted. "Really?"

"Yes," He smiled and looked deep into my eyes, before blinking and turning away from me. "But when I came home after Bastogne and was standing at that altar, I realised I couldn't just abandon the life I'd left. I couldn't devastate my family with my actions. I made a promise to a lady and, whether I regret it now or not, in my family that means something."

"I…I understand," I said, not able to believe I was actually saying that. "But, Bill, you made a promise to me too when you said we'd be together in Philly one day. You shouldn't have done that, not when you knew you had a girl back home. You really should have told me about her."

"Again, I am _so_ sorry. At the time, I thought it was the right thing. Or maybe it's just because I'd just fallen so madly in love with you that I didn't want to mess it up," He said, and looked sadly down at this artificial leg. "Besides, I didn't know what I could offer you like _this_…didn't know if you'd even want me like this…."

"I did want you, Bill," I said, firmly. "I did and I still do and…."

Bill silenced me, pulling me towards him and kissing me. My heart leapt, it was like drinking that first sip of water after you've gone days without it. I crawled onto his lap and put my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I'd missed this so much. I could tell he had too, the urgency in the kissing was unreal. In one slick move, he whipped off my blouse and picked me up. It seemed like nothing else mattered at that moment exact Bill, myself and getting to my bedroom. He traced kisses along my collarbone as we stumbled clumsily around the apartment towards the bedroom. Holding me around his waist with one strong arm, he never stopped kissing me as he fumbled to open the doorknob.

All of a sudden, an image flashed into my head: Carla. Carla with a full-term pregnancy belly. Immediately I stopped, and prised myself out of Bill's grip and onto my own two feet again. I'd had a temporary moment of thinking that things could work out between Bill and I somehow, but I knew there, in my heart of hearts, that we could never be together. There was a child involved now, and I would never wish for that child to be born into a broken home. I came from a loving family. My best friend James hadn't, and I'd grown up seeing the difference a good home could make on a family.

"This isn't right, Bill," I said, moving away from him.

"But, I thought you…thought you wanted…," He said, crushed and breathing heavily.

"Bill, you said that you couldn't stand that Babe had had a part of me that you hadn't," I said, my lip quivering. "…and I think it should stay that way."

"W-What?" He asked, quietly.

"_I'm_ not your wife, Bill. Nothing in this world would have made me happier than to call myself your wife, but I'm not…and I never will be," I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I understand that what happened was somewhat beyond your control but it happened, and you have to take responsibility for that. I can be your friend but nothing more than that. You and I will never be together."

He looked down, his eyes welling up too now. "No. This can't…this can't be the end."

"It is, Bill. You feel sore about it now, I know. But you're gonna find out something that'll change your mind, I guarantee it," I said, crying.

He reached for my hands and started kissing them. "Please no, this can't be."

Tears running uncontrollably, I removed my hands from his grip, kissed him once on the lips and walked slowly over to the front door, opening it.

"I think you should go now," I said.

"But, I-" He began to argue.

"**Go home to your wife, Bill**," I said firmly.

He had nothing else to say. His lip trembling, he walked out of the door and possibly out of my life forever.

When he left, I walked numbly to my bedroom, throwing myself onto the bed, weeping and trying to will myself to fall asleep.

………………………….


	31. Chapter 31 Escape to Louisiana

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The next morning I woke up and tried shower away the events of yesterday. Not possible. I decided to go for a walk in the park to cheer myself up.

_Knock knock_.

I walked over to the door and peeped through the keyhole. It was Carla. Shit. I wondered if she knew about the day before.

"Face things head-on," I whispered to myself, as I opened the door. "Carla!"

"Hey, Stranger," She smiled. "I was in the area and dying for a hot chocolate and a chat. I saw a nice little coffee shop just down the street from you. Oblige me?"

I chewed my lip and grabbed my coat. "Sure, okay."

………

"Mmmm, nothing better than a frothy hot chocolate on a cold winter day," Carla smiled contentedly, sipping from her mug. "What are your plans for Christmas?"

"I think I'll just be with my family," I said absent-mindedly. I'd forgotten it was Christmas in like two weeks. "You?"

"Big family Christmas this year," She gushed. "We're having Bill's family and mine round. I don't even know where they're all going to sit, our house is so small! I'm so excited though, my first Christmas cooking for the whole family. I've always looked forward to that!"

"Great," I forced a smile, playing with the handle of my cup.

"Fiona, you don't really like me do you?" She blurted out.

"What?" I looked up, taken aback.

"I so wanted to get to know you and be your friend but you just don't like me, do you?" She said, looking down.

"No, Carla. I really like you! It's just…," I said, not sure if I had it in me to tell her about Bill. "It's just…"

"It's because you have feelings for my husband," She said, looking me square in the eye.

My face paled. "What?"

"I'm not naïve, Fiona. The way Bill talks about you, the way you looked at the station when he introduced me as his wife. Come on, you don't expect me to believe that _nothing_ went on between you?"

"Carla, I can explain. Look, it's just…," I stuttered.

"It's okay, I think I know what happened. Bill didn't tell you about me, did he?" She asked, wisely.

"Well, no…," I said. I couldn't believe she'd sussed it all along! "But I just want you to know, Carla, that if I _had_ known…"

"I know," She smiled, patting my hand. "I don't blame you for falling in love with him, he's the most amazing man you'll ever meet."

"Carla," I asked, confused. "How can you stay with him when you know…"

"Because I love him," She said, without skipping a beat. "I know he still cares for me, deep down, and he will even more when I tell him about the baby. I don't blame him, Fiona, for falling for you. When you're away from the one you love, you crave affection.

"Oh," I said simply. I wanted to grab her, shake her and tell her it wasn't like that, that he really loved me but I didn't. If it made her better to think that then fair enough.

"I think it's very big of you to have backed off when you realised the truth and that you didn't create a scene, as it were," She said, calmly patting her growing bump. "I trust that you know family is more important than anything else.

"I never planned to say anything about it," I told her.

"I always knew Bill and I would get married," She said. "but in a way I have to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"Yes, for keeping him _company_ over there. Had it not been for you, he might have come back to me an empty shell.," She smiled at me, with genuine gratitude in her eyes.

I was stunned. "I…"

"Truth is," She continued. "I'm a little jealous of you. Bill doesn't really talk much about what happened to him over there, all of the horrible experiences he had. But you, Fiona, you shared them with him so you will always be connected. You share something with Bill that I'll never get to experience."

"Then _you're_ the lucky one," I said, dryly.

"I suppose that's why I wanted to be your friend so badly," She said. "I guess I thought somehow if I could keep you close, I'd feel closer to him, though. Truth is though, I really do like you. I know it must be hard for you to be around me, but I hope we can still be friends?"

"Of course," I said, numbly.

"Good, you're such a brave person. To be my friend when you know you'll never have Bill. Oops, look at the time, I better get going. It was so good to see you again, and I'm glad we had this chat. Let's see each other soon, okay?"

I watched her walk off, my hands on my cheeks. Everything seemed to be a mess. I couldn't stand this situation I was in. I had to get out of here. Standing up, my head spinning, I went off to make a call.

……………

"Mom!" I called, as I walked through my parents' front door, carrying a small suitcase. "Are you here?"

"Yes, Sweetie. What's wrong," She asked, wiping her hands as she walked through to greet me. She looked at the case. "What's going on?"

"I have to go away for a few days," I said. "I just need to clear my head."

"Should I be worried?" She asked, concerned.

"Not at all," I reassured her. "I just need to do a little soul-searching."

"Okay," She said unconvinced.

"So, can you water my plants for me whilst I'm gone?" I asked, making my way back to the front door.

"Wait, how long are you going to be away?" She asked, pressing me for more information.

"Just a few days," I said, opening the door and pushing my suitcase out.

"Wait, where are you going?" She demanded.

"Louisiana," I smiled, walking out the door. "Bye, mom."

……………….

"Hey, Eugene!" I said, hugging him as I got off of the train. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too," He said and indicated to the pregnant lady next to him. "This is Vera, my wife."

"It's nice to meet you," I said, shaking her hand and motioning at her pregnant belly. "Congratulations, both of you."

"Thanks," They smiled, happily.

"And thank you so much for letting me stay for a few days," I said, turning to Vera. "Especially to you. I know with the baby and Christmas coming soon, you're probably very busy."

"Don't even worry about it. Any friend of Gene's is a friend of mine," She said, smiling and motioning at Eugene. "Get her case, honey."

We drove to their house, a quaint and home white wooden house, with a swing chair on the porch. An idyllic family home.

"Fiona," Vera said when we went inside. "Eugene will show you where you can sleep. Feel free to have a shower and a nap, you must be tired after that long journey. I'll shout you when dinner's ready."

Eugene led me up the stairs into a tiny room with just a single bed and a dresser. I smiled, collapsing onto the bed. Silence. Bliss. I fell into the first peaceful sleep I'd had in a long time.

……………….

"Vera! This is fantastic," I exclaimed, shovelling forkfuls of food into my mouth. "What's it called?"

She beamed. "It's called Gumbo. It's prawns, shellfish, vegetables and a secret ingredient."

"Secret ingredient?" I asked, intrigued.

"Oh sorry, honey, I can't tell you," She laughed. "Family secret that I can only pass down to my daughter."

"I don't even know what it is," Gene laughed.

"Well, whatever it is, it's delicious," I smiled, shovelling up more of it.

"So how are things?" Gene asked. "We never had much time to speak on the phone yesterday. How is Bill?"

"Oh," I said, putting my fork down. "Bill and I aren't together anymore. It didn't work out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," He said, looking at me unconvinced. He knew I was telling the whole truth, but I didn't want to get into it tonight. I'd tell him tomorrow.

"You poor thing," Vera said sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. Is that why you wanted to come here? To get away for a few days?"

"Something like that," I said.

"Poor girl, so misguided," She said, patting my arm. "You know what you should do?"

"What?"

"You should go and see Madame Serena," She said, looking over at Gene to see if he agreed. He shrugged his shoulder.

"Madame Serena?" I asked.

"She's a sort of fortune teller. Very wise woman in our community," She told me.

"Oh," I said, sounding a little sceptical.

"No seriously," Vera said, sensing this. "Madame Serena is never wrong. She lives across the creek. Eugene could take you tomorrow, couldn't you honey?"

He nodded.

"Sure," I said, figuring what could the harm be. "That would be good. I'll take any advice I could get right now."

………………

The next day Eugene led me down to the little pier at the back of their house, where a small canoe-type boat was tied up. I looked at it, worriedly.

"What?" He asked, as he began to untie it.

"Is that thing safe?" I asked, doubtfully.

"I'll built this thing myself, I'll have you know," He laughed.

"Sorry," I said, feeling a little queasy and looking out at the water. "So…are there crocodiles in there?"

"I don't know, " He said, rubbing his chin. "You'll be able to tell once we're out there."

"How?"

"Well, if one bites off one of your limbs then we'll know there are crocodiles," He laughed at me.

"Funny man, Eugene," I said sarcastically.

He got into the boat and looked at me. I just smiled at him, rooted to the spot. He motioned to the boat. "This is the part where you get into the boat."

"I'm not sure," I said, uneasily.

"What's the prob-" He said, but burst out laughing. "Oh, I forgot you're not good on the water. I remember the way you were on the boat back to New York. I've never seen such a green face!"

"Thanks for the reminder, Gene," I laughed, stepping carefully into the boat.

"You'll be fine," He said, helping me in. "I'll go slow."

We started off on a slow paddle down the creek.

"So why didn't you come to the reunion in New York?" I asked. "I was really looking forward to seeing you."

"I was going to," He said, rowing. "I even had a case packed but, in the end, I couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

"Honestly, I didn't want the memories back," He answered. "Over in Europe, as I'm sure you know, wasn't my best time. I was so tormented. Then I came home, met Vera, got married and everything just seemed to fall into place. I thought that if I went back there it would all come back to me."

"I understand," I said, nodding.

"I did miss you though," He smiled. "I was so glad when you said you wanted to come and visit."

"I'm just sorry to come here under strained conditions. I would have paid you a social visit eventually, I promise," I smiled meekly.

"It's alright," He said. "So…Bill? I assume there's more to that story than you said last night? If you don't want to talk about it I understand."

"No, it's okay and yes, you're right," I admitted. "Things soured with Bill. Now I want you to know that he and I have sorted things out but…he had a fiancée the whole time and he married her."

"He what?" Gene asked, confused.

"I know, it sounds extreme, but we talked it out and he explained it all to me," I reassured him. "It took a while but I'm trying to put it behind me now."

"O…kay," He said, raising his eyebrows. "So if that's not why you had to come here then why did you?"

"That would be the other "B"," I said, hoping he knew what I meant.

"Babe?"

"That's the one," I said, embarrassed.

""What happened?" He asked.

"Oh God, Gene, I don't want you to think badly of me but…I've been sleeping with him," I told him, nervous to hear his response.

"My, my. Well, do you like him?" He asked.

"I do, I really do. When I'm with him I feel so safe and happy, even but…I know what he wants from me and…,"

"You don't know if you can give it to him?" He asked.

"I don't know if I have the right. I spent so long talking to him about Bill, you know? Just over and over and…,"I stuttered. "I'm only just getting over Bill and the other day I got in a huge fight with Babe, when I didn't even mean to. He did something but for the right reasons and I knew that, but I still lashed out at him."

"Don't worry," He laughed. "Rome wasn't built in a day."

"I suppose," I sighed, noticing we were approaching land. "This is us?"

Eugene nodded. I turned round to see a similar looking house to Eugene's, only a little small and more weathered. Eugene pulled up to the shore and docked. I climbed out of the boat, and realised he hadn't.

"What? You're not coming with me?" I asked.

"No, sorry," He said. "I'd never say this in front of Vera because she worships her but that woman in there scares the shit out of me. You're on your own, kid."

"What?" I asked, alarmed. "Well, I don't really want to go in now! You're going to make me go in there alone?"

"I'm sorry, but yes," He laughed. "Don't worry, she's not evil or anything. She just unnerves me."

Gulping, I slowly walked up to the house. I climbed the porch steps and stood outside the door.

_Knock knock_.

"Who's there?" A voice came.

"I'm a friend of Vera Roe," I called out. "She told me to come here…for guidance."

"Come in, my darling," The voice replied.

Gulping, I slowly opened the door.

……………………..

That night, after another dinner, the Roes and I wrapped up warm and went to sit out on their porch with hot chocolate. She and Eugene sat on the swing chair and I sat on a nearby rocking chair.

"So what did she say to you _exactly_?" Vera asked me.

"She said I had _a cloud of confusion_ around me, but that I shouldn't worry, because the right man was on his way to find me," I told her.

"I wonder what that means," She mused. "Didn't she say anything else? Madame Serena is usually so specific."

"No, she said she couldn't get a clear reading on me," I told her, and grinned wickedly at Eugene. "Right, Eugene? You can back me up on this because you were there the whole time, right?"

"Uh yes, sitting right there," He said, smiling at Vera and giving me a look that promised payback.

"Well, if that's what Madame Serena said then you'll eventually see that she was right," She said. She suddenly sniffed the air. "Oh Gene, the air is so crisp tonight. We need to get a Christmas tree this week."

I smiled. They were such a contented couple, you could tell they really loved each other. "So what do you two have planned for Christmas then?"

"Oh, I don't know," Vera sighed. "It's all muddled. Honestly we just wanted a little family Christmas, just the two of us but I think we'll have to visit our parents' house for a big family dinner. It's not worth the grief if we don't."

"Sounds lovely. So, can I ask how you two met?" I asked, hoping I wasn't probing too much.

Vera laughed. "Well, it's the usual story. We met in Church. I saw him for the first time when I was 13, sitting two pews in front of me with his family and let me tell you I was smitten! But I didn't have the courage to talk to him and he seemed like the shy type. So I just admired him from afar for years, but little did I know-"

"That I was admiring her too," He said. I loved that they finished each others' sentences.

"Right," She agreed, squeezing his hand affectionately. "So then I heard through some friends that he'd gone to fight in the war and I was distraught. I thought I'd never see him again and I was kicking myself because I'd never spoken to him and would never get the chance to. Still, he made it back home and when I saw him in Church again almost 2 and a half years later the first thing I did was talk to him. I wasn't letting him get away twice."

Gene put his arm around her. "Vera really helped me out when I got back. It was a pretty dark time for me."

I nodded, understanding. "I guess you really get to know what's important when you don't-"

Suddenly we heard the sound of a car driving up the gravel. I turned round to look. Eugene stood up and walked to the stairs to see who was driving into his home.

We squinted to see. Suddenly, the door opened and Babe hopped out. My mouth dropped open in shock.

"Thanks for the lift, buddy," Babe said to the driver. He turned to me. "…Hi."

"Eugene, who is he?" Vera whispered to her husband.

"It's Babe," I answered for him.

She gasped with delight. "I guess Madame Serena was right after all."


	32. Chapter 32 Enjoying the Bayou

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Note- I just realised how it looks with my sign-in name being Fiona1987 and my main character being called Fiona. Haha, I promise I'm not trying to write about myself and these characters. My name isn't Fiona, I just love the name and the music of Fiona Apple, so that's where the sign-in name came from, hehe

………………………….

"Good to see you, Heffron," Eugene said, walking over and shaking his hand,

"Geez, Gene, after all this time you should be calling me Babe," He smiled, shaking the medic's hand heartily. "Good to see you, buddy!"

"What are you doing here, Babe?" I asked, standing up to see him properly.

"Well, I came to see you," He said, embarrassed and very aware of the audience. "I had to see you."

"Well, Gene, how about you and I wash these cups," Vera said, standing up and picking them up. "Hello there by the way, I'm Vera. It's nice to meet you, please feel free to stay the night."

"Yeah, no problem Heff," Gene said, following Vera inside. "We'll set you up with somewhere to sleep."

"Thanks," He said, watching them walk inside until we were alone.

"You had to see me?" I asked.

"Yes," He said. "I have so much that I need to say to you."

"So say it," I said, nervously.

"I…I can't," He said, rubbing his forehead as though he was in pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked, walking over to him.

"I'm so exhausted," He said, sitting down on the porch steps. "I haven't slept well since we had that argument, the long train trip today and then trying to actually find this place. I'm seeing spots. I have so many things I want to say but I'm afraid they wont come out right if I say them now."

He looked really ill. I helped him stand up. "Come on, Babe. Let's get you inside for some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

I led him inside, where Vera and Gene were washing the dishes. I explained to Eugene the situation and he led us to the box room under the stairs, where a small camp bed was set up.

"I was thinking we'd set you up here, Heff," He said to Babe who smiled graciously and sat down on the bed.

"Night, Babe," I said as we shut the door.

"Sorry," Eugene said to me, smiling as we walked back over to Vera. "Singles in single bed. Roe Family House Rules."

"Very funny, Gene," I said, digging him gently in the ribs.

"Are you okay?" Vera asked as I picked up a towel to help her dry.

"We'll see," I smiled at her.

……………………………

The next morning Vera and Gene said that they were going to an early Fish Farmer Market, leaving me alone with a sleeping Babe.

"You'll find things in the pantry for pancakes," Vera had whispered in my ear as she left.

After a morning walk along the creek, I set about making breakfast. As I was serving them onto the plate, I heard the door of the room under the stairs room. Babe emerged, bleary-eyed and stretching.

"How long was I out?" He asked, yawning.

"About ten hours," I laughed. "Hungry?"

"Starving," He said, sitting down nervously as I placed a plate in front of him.

I sat down in front of him, placing a jug in front of him. "I found this in the fridge. I _think_ it's syrup. If not it's some kind of cough medicine."

"Well I do have a sore throat so either way is fine with me," He said with a little smile, followed by a short silence. "You know, after what happened the last time, I thought you'd kill me this morning instead of making me breakfast."

I smiled amicably. "I overreacted."

"No, I should have told you about Bill and Carla. I _really_ thought that he would finish with her. Besides, I couldn't do that to you, not _there_, not in that situation. I thought I was protecting you."

"I know that," I told him. "I know it was for the right reasons."

"Is there going to be a "but" here?" He asked.

"_But_," I laughed. "In future, I'd rather know. Saves the trouble for later."

"Okay," He promised. "I'll always tell you."

I smiled, squeezing his hand. Suddenly I let out a laugh. "I can't believe you came all the way here to see me. How did you even know where to find me?"

"I went to your place to talk to you and you weren't there, so I went to see your mother and she told me you'd left a few hours ago. I didn't really think about it after that, just packed a bag and hopped on a train," He said, between bites.

"Hey, do you wanna go for a walk along the creek afterwards?" I asked, feeling perked-up.

"Sure".

……………………….

Wrapped up for the weather, we walked out of the back of their house.

"Hey!" Babe said, jogging over to the pier. "Look at this boat!"

"Yeah, Eugene made it himself," I said. "Impressive, huh?"

"Definitely," He said, looking at it excitedly. "So, you wanna go for a ride in this thing or what?"

"No way," I laughed. "Once was enough for me."

"Oh yeah," He said, running over to catch up with me. "I forgot you have that boat _thing_."

"I don't trust them," I said, firmly. "People should have learned from the Titanic."

"Oh of course," He said sarcastically. "You're right, that's why we shouldn't take the boat out on the creek. All of the icebergs on it."

I dug him in the ribs as we began a long walk along the creek.

"Ok, we've been walking for about twenty minutes and every single one of these houses look the same to me," He said, disappointed. "Not a whole lot to see out here on the creek."

"You want to sit on that bench?" I asked.

"Sure, let's get the excitement off to a flying start," He said dryly as we sat down. "So, did you talk to Bill?"

"I uh…I kissed Bill," I blurted out, looking down.

"You did?" He asked, looking upset.

"It just happened," I said. "But it made me realise that it was wrong, so I stopped."

"It's okay," He smiled. "You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"I want to explain to you," I said.

"Why? Because you care about me?" He asked seemingly jokingly but I suspected otherwise.

"You know I do," I said. "It wouldn't be fair for me to be with you now, though. You'd never know whether I was just with you because I can't be with Bill. So let's just see where we end up, okay?"

"Okay," He smiled, sighing. "So you think you're getting over him?"

"He was never really mine," I said. "He was always hers, even if I didn't know it. So, I guess keeping that in mind is all I really need to get over him."

"Well you'll always have me," He said, putting an arm around me. "And, as your _friend_, I'll do anything I can to help you get over him."

"I'll bear that in mind," I smiled, standing up. "Come on, I'm freezing. Let's go home and see if Vera's cooked up some of that _amazing_ Gumbo."

"What's Gumbo?" He asked, as I led him home.

…………………..

"Is this ok?" I asked, re-appearing at the top of the stairs in a somewhat demure button down dress.

"Oh, you look beautiful," Vera said, clapping her hands together. "Now, it's not that the one you wanted to wear was indecent or anything, it's just the neckline was a little bit lower than most folks around here are used to."

"It's okay, Vera," I laughed, walking down the stairs.

That evening, Vera told us that there was a dance in the local town hall and that we should all go. Babe and I figured it would be a good idea, but after Vera had told me they wouldn't take kindly to my style of dress, I was a little unsure of what I was walking into.

I walked out onto the porch to find Babe and Eugene.

"I'll just go and see if Vera's ready," Eugene said, walking back inside.

"Well, how do I look?" I asked Babe, twirling.

He looked at me, grimacing slightly. "You look…like my ma!"

"What? It's Vera's," I said, shifting uncomfortably.

He laughed. "Well you just make sure you give it back before we head home."

…………..

"Oh my God," Babe whispered to me as we walked inside the hall. "We are definitely not in Philly anymore, Toto."

I laughed uneasily, feeling his pain as I looked around. A hall full of men wearing practically the same shirts, women wearing practically the same dresses, all doing what looked like some kind of cult ritual dance on the dance floor. Others who weren't were sitting around at the wooden tables looking bored.

"Isn't this fun?" Vera beamed.

"It's great," Babe and I replied in unison, with big fake smiles.

Vera walked over to some of her friends who were motioning her over.

"Hey, Gene?" I said, grabbing his attention. "That dance they're doing…what do you call that?"

"That? That's the Cajun Jitterbug," He said.

"Wow," I whistled. "Everyone's really good at it. Eugene, can you do that?"

"Much as I hate dancing, yes," He sighed. "Vera made me learn."

"Made you?" I laughed.

"For the wedding," Eugene told us. "I'm sure she'd be happy to teach you."

"No, it's okay," Babe insisted, shaking his head. "I think if I attempted that I'd break both my legs!"

"And I aint carrying you back to Philly!" I laughed.

"I can see how that would be terrible for you," Babe rolled his eyes, leading me to one of the tables. "Let's you and I just sit down here and try to keep a low profile."

"Excuse me! Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen," Vera's voice rang out loud from the stage to catch the attention of the room. "Thank you. I'd just like to introduce some guests to the Bayou. They are ex-army friends of my husband, thus making them war heroes. That's right, _both _of them. Let's have them up here onstage to say hello. Edward and Fiona! Where are they?"

Babe and I looked at each other.

"So much for a low profile, huh?" I whispered to him as we walked up to the stage where we waved shyly.

"Now," Vera said, as we all stepped off of the stage. "Would you like me to teach you the dance? With the baby inside me I'm not as fast as I used to be but I can still hold my own."

"No, that's ok, Vera," I said. "We're just going to sit down with a drink."

Babe and I rushed back to the table.

……………………..

"Coo-eee, Edward," Vera came up to us an hour later. "I have a surprise for you."

"What's that?" Babe replied, curiously.

"Someone in my family wants to dance with you," She smiled, coyly.

Babe put on his most charming smile. "Well jeez, Vera, if you wanted to dance with me all you had to do was ask!"

"Oh hush now it's not me," She giggled. "It's not me. It's my grandma."

She stepped aside to reveal a small-framed lady with white hair.

"She said she'd love to dance with such a handsome soldier for our country," Vera smiled.

"Lovely to meet you," Babe shook her hand and looked around nervously. "I don't know this dance, Vera."

The song suddenly changed to a slow song. Vera beamed. "Well now that's not a problem. Off you go."

"Well," Babe said, going into charming-mode again, offering his hand to the lady. "It would be my pleasure if you would dance this next dance with me."

"Thanks, Edward!" Vera called as they walked off, and then whispered. "Oh and don't break her hip! She's 89, you know!"

I laughed lightly as she sat down next to me. We watched Babe gently move the elderly lady around the floor, a worried look on his face that he might injure her.

…………………

After the dance they walked back over to us, stopping at our table.

"Thank you very much for the dance," He enunciated loudly to Vera's Grandmother.

I smiled, it was quite sweet of him, really. Then I noticed something that I just had to take advantage of. "Uh, Babe. Look up."

"What?" He asked, looking up to see the piece of mistletoe sticking for the ceiling.

"Well, isn't it my lucky night," Her Grandmother smiled, looking at Babe expectantly.

Mildly horrified, he turned slowly towards her and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Contented, she walked away.

"Easy, Soldier," I laughed as he sat down opposite me.

"Very funny," He rolled his eyes. "Oh and thanks very much for that by the way, I don't even kiss my _own_ Grandma anymore!"

Suddenly, a little girl with a cherub-like face in a gingham dress and matching gingham bows in her hair skipped up to our table and rested her arms on the table in a very business-like way.

"Hey there," She smiled. So angelic.

"Hi, Sweetie," I said.

"Are you married to him?" She asked me, pointing at Babe.

I looked at Babe, amused. "No we're not married."

"Then can I dance with him?" She asked bluntly.

"Oh," Babe said, awkwardly. "I'm not very good at dancing, Sweetheart."

Her little face fell.

"Babe," I whispered, giving him a pleading look. "Dance with her!"

"I'm a real good dancer," She promised, smiling.

"Oh okay, well in that case I'd love to dance with you," He said, standing up and leading her to the dance floor. "The reason I said no earlier is because I can't be seen on the dance floor with someone who can't dance!"

My heart melted slightly at the scene.

……………….

Back at the Roes that night, I lay in my bed unable to sleep. I was seriously contemplating going down and sleeping (just next to!) Babe on the couch. Suddenly I was interrupted by a light knocking at the door.

"Come in," I whispered.

Babe walked into the door. "I couldn't sleep."

"Afraid of the dark?" I joked.

"Afraid of the silence," He laughed. "Don't you find it really unnerving."

"Starting to," I admitted.

"I was just wondering if I could lie with you for a while?" He asked, holding up his hands. "Nothing implied this time."

"Babe, I'm shocked. That would be a blatant disregard of the Roe Family House Rules."

"Well," He smiled. "I won't tell if you won't."

"Deal," I chuckled, moving over and lifting the blankets to let him in.

He climbed in next to me and held me. I had to admit to myself that I'd missed the feeling. I playfully punched him in the chest. "I still can't believe you came all of the way down here to see me."

"Sweetie," He laughed cockily. "If it had come to it, I woulda swam here to see you."

"What a smoothie," I rolled my eyes, but my heart melted at the sentiment.

"Will you kiss me?" He blurted out.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't sleep because I've known what it feels like to sleep next to you, and I like it. I have all of these feelings for you, and I've come all this way. Please, cut a guy a break," He said, smiling.

I didn't say anything, just leant forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. Then I turned round, facing my back to him and he put his arm around me. Together, we fell into a deep sleep., our chests rising and falling in the same pattern.


	33. Chapter 33 Jealousy?

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

We'd gone back to Philly the next day, figuring we had no need to stay any longer when the Roes were under pressure to get ready for Christmas. So, after fond farewells, we caught the train back to a Philly that was much snowier than when we'd left.

One week later, and I found myself getting teary-eyed with happiness as I helped Sandra into her dress on her wedding day. We'd had to pull a lot of strings to get everything ready in such a short space of time but the heat was on, what with her bump getting bigger.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, "I giggled. "You're _already_ my Sister-in-Law, it's not like anything is going to change today, but still it feels like this is your first wedding."

"It's okay," She smiled, hugging me. "You cry all you want. But you're crying on your dress, be careful. Do you like it, by the way?"

"Yeah, I love the colour," I said, looking down at the lilac dress.

"My mom picked the colour," She laughed.

"So you're going to tell my mom today?" I asked.

"Probably tomorrow," She told me. "So, I noticed Bill and Carla RSVPed that they were coming."

"Yeah," I said. "Bumping up the number of pregnant guests in attendance. Wow, it seems like everyone is pregnant these days!"

"Why who else is pregnant?" She asked, interested.

"Eugene, the friend I visited in Louisiana," I told her. "His wife is pregnant too."

"Uh oh," She teased, pinning her hair back. "You're not getting broody are you?"

I laughed. "Oh no. Definitely not. I'm perfectly happy being Auntie Fiona for the minute."

"Soon enough," She laughed, patting her belly and standing up. "Okay, so tell me honestly- you really don't notice it?"

"Nope, I said, reaching for a box. "That's why I got you the long veil, so it covers more."

"Ok," She said, as I fastened it around her head.

"Also," I said, reaching for her flowers and handing them to her. "Make sure you hold these low and slightly to the side."

"Okay, I got it," She smiled.

Suddenly we heard the strains of music beginning inside the church. I grinned at her. "You ready to marry my Brother…again?"

She took a deep breath, laughing. "I'm ready."

The doors opened as Sandra began to walk down the aisle.

………………………

After the wedding, we were all gathered in the local church hall for the Reception.

"Hello there, Mr Heffron," I said, greeting him as he was loitering around the champagne trays. "Did you enjoy the ceremony."

"Yeah I did, although if I'm honest I didn't really see any of it," He admitted, taking a sip of champagne.

"You didn't?"

"No, I was sitting right behind your mom and…her hat is _big_," He laughed. "She kept leaning her head to one side and poking your dad in the side of the face with it."

I laughed. "She was determined to have a nice, big hat."

"Nice bridesmaid dress," He smiled. "You suit the colour."

"Thanks, although I have to give it back," I laughed. "Sandra's sister is getting married next month and she wants them back."

"Bill and Carla are walking over," Babe told me. I couldn't see because I had my back to the room.

I turned round to find myself face-to-face with them. "Bill. Carla. How are you?"

"Very well thanks," Carla smiled, the pregnancy making her cheeks rosy. "Lovely wedding."

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Well," Carla said, looking at Bill and then at Babe. "We were just wondering if you two would like to dance with us? So, Mr Heffron, can I have this dance?"

"Uh, sure," He said, looking back at me as he walked with Carla to the floor.

Bill and I looked at each other a little awkwardly.

"So," He said, motioning to the dance floor. "You wanna?"

"Ok, sure," I smiled, letting him lead me.

"So, I hear you already know the news," Bill said quietly, as we began to dance.

"That congratulations might be in order?" I asked, wondering if we were talking about the same thing.

"Yes. She told me about the baby," He told me.

"Well then, Congratulations Bill," I whispered in his ear. "You're going to make a wonderful father."

"Thanks," He said. "I'm really excited. I've always wanted to be one."

"This isn't how I really wanted things to go…," He started.

"But you have to take life as it comes," I finished for him.

"Yeah," He said, simply. "But if there _was_ a way..."

"Don't," I smiled. "My mother always says that what's for you wont go by you. Fate brought us together, Bill Guarnere and it dictates our future too. Right now, fate seems to want you to be with Carla and your baby. You know what Bill, as futures go, you could do a lot worse. Carla is a wonderful woman l, and there's no one else I'd rather see you with….besides me, of course. "

He chuckled softly. "You're right. I will be the best husband and father I can be, but I can't tell you how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love so much."

"You don't have to tell me," I said. "I already know."

"I never thought I'd see us deciding together to give up on this," He admitted, holding me closer.

"For what it's worth," I smiled at him. "I don't think you and I will ever give up on each other. Just not now, it would seem."

"So tell me," He asked. "What does fate have in store for you, Miss Anderson?"

I laughed. "I wish I knew."

"You sure there's not a certain soldier we know in there somewhere?" He asked, squeezing my hand. "A certain red-headed soldier."

"I don't know," I said, honestly.

"Well, if we're going down the same road of what you said to me then I'd have to say right back at you. I know I reacted badly when I saw you two together, but the more I think about it if you have to be with someone else, there's no better man than Babe."

"I know that," I said. "He's incredible."

"I know you think he's incredible, and I know you truly feel for him," Bill said to me.

"How?"

"Because you've been looking at him almost non-stop since we started dancing," He replied, offering me a small smile.

"Oh, I…," I said, flustered.

"Don't get yourself in a fuss," He chuckled. "I'm just saying you have my blessing."

"Oh, I do, do I?" I laughed at the phrase.

"Certainly do," He laughed. "You have the official confirmation that he's good enough for my girl."

"I'll bear that in mind, Bill," I rolled my eyes. "So…have you two made up?"

"Yeah. We had the make-up beer," Bill told me.

"Phew," I said. "Because if that dragged on any…"

"EXCUSE ME! Ladies and Gentlemen, please excuse me," A drunken voice came from the small stage near us.

I looked over to see my little brother, Doug, who had swaggered up to the stage holding a glass in one hand, with his tie half-undone.

"I would like to make spee…toast to the happy hic couple," Doug said out loud. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please raise your glasses in celebration of the new couple. Cheers! Also, let's toast Sandra, the new addition to our family. Oh, and let's not forget the other addition to our family- the little baby, soon to be joining our family in a few other months. So, congratulations Duncan and Sandra!"

"Shit," I said out loud, as Doug blabbed the news.

Bill looked at my expression. "Something that was meant to be secret?"

I nodded.

"And also…," Doug continued.

"Alright Buddy, I think you've had enough let's go sit outside," Bill said, walking up to the stage and leading my brother outside. I smiled in gratitude as they walked by.

I looked at Sandra, who looked like she might cry.

"Oh my…! I'm going to be a Grandmother?!" My mother squealed. "That is…excellent!"

The whole room burst into applause. Sandra smiled over at me, happy and relieved. I smiled back at her, pretending to wipe my forehead in relief.

"Hip Hip Hooray!" The room cheered as I walked outside to find Bill and Doug.

"What the hell were you thinking, Doug?" I cried as I found them outside, Doug sitting down on the snow-covered ground.

"S-sorry," He hiccupped.

"You almost ruined their big day," I told him.

"Everything okay in there?" Bill asked.

"Yeah, luckily my mom was ecstatic so no one seemed to dwell on his speech," I smiled over at him.

"Can I do anything?" Babe asked, walking outside to find us.

"Yeah, he's just had too much to drink," I told him. "We should probably get him to bed."

"I'll take him," Bill offered.

"No, it's okay, I don't want you to leave Carla inside alone," I said. "I can take him myself."

"I'll walk with you," Babe said.

"No, it's alright. Go enjoy the party," I said.

"No, let me help," Babe said, helping my brother up. "He can't even walk and you can't carry him alone."

"Okay, thanks," I smiled and looked at Bill. "Tell my mom I'll be right back?"

"Sure," He smiled, walking back inside.

……….

After putting my brother to bed, Babe and I began walking back to the Hall.

"He was really downing the alcohol, huh?" Babe asked.

"It's becoming a bit of a problem," I admitted. "Ever since he got back to the US, he drinks so much. I never saw him drink _once_ before. Someone needs to have a chat with him, but I don't think he'll listen to me. Plus, I don't think I even have any right to. I was guilty of it too over there, getting drunk to shut out pain."

"I could have a chat with him if you want," Babe offered.

"Really?"

"Well sure, I'm not family so I won't take any of his backtalk," He pointed out. "He might listen to me."

"That would be great," I smiled.

"I'll set something then. Maybe tomorrow I…oh wait, I can't tomorrow," I said, thinking.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked, interested.

"Oh," He said, awkwardly. "I kind of have a date."

"You have a date?!" I squeaked, then composed myself. "I mean, great. Who is she?"

"Relax, I didn't ask her or anything," He laughed. "My mom's been giving me it in the ear about not having a girl for a while now, so she set me up with a friend's daughter."

"Oh," I said, trying to sound casual. "So where do you think you'll take her?"

"Just coffee or something," He said, looking at me knowingly with a little grin on his face.

"Well, that's…neat," I said, not liking the way this news made me feel. "I hope you have a really great time."

"We can hang out afterwards if you want, though?" He offered. "Maybe grab a bite?"

"Sure," I said. "I mean, you know whenever with you're finished with your date and all…"

………….

Later that night, when all of the guests had gone, Sandra and I sat with our feet up on the seats, drinking the last of the champagne and cake. We were shattered after cleaning up the hall (part of the agreement in booking it) , and it was only half-done!

"But is it a real date, though?" Sandra asked, shovelling cake into her mouth with her fingers, long given up the hunt for a clean fork.

"He said his mom arranged it for him," I said, shaking the bottles on the table to see which still had champagne. "But a date is a date, surely?"

"Well, not always. He can't say no to his mom," She suggested. "He might not even really like her."

"Or he might," I argued.

"Yeah, and I might win a million dollars tomorrow, you just never know," She said. "Don't let it bother you."

"Oh, I'm not bothered," I said defensively. "Not in the slightest."

"Sure you're not," She rolled her eyes, adding sarcastically. "And I _don't_ want anymore cake."

"Very funny," I said dryly. "Don't you have a second Wedding Night to get to."

"Crap!" She exclaimed, jumping up and running off.

……………………

"Eggs, sweetie?" My mother asked as I emerged bleary-eyed and hungover into the kitchen the following morning.

"No thanks," I said. "I couldn't stomach it. I'll just have a glass of water."

"Nothing to do with alcohol I hope," She scolded knowingly, putting a glass down in front of me.

"Of course not, just a stomach…thing," I lied, taking a sip.

"Of course it is, dear," She said, sarcastically. "Wasn't it a great night?"

"Yeah, I had a really nice time," I said.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a Grandmother," She beamed. "I've always wanted to be."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to being an Auntie," I said, laughing. "All of the affection, none of the work."

"That's a terrible thing to say," My mother scolded. "Having children is one of life's beautiful gifts. When are you going to give me grandchildren, huh?"

"Not anytime soon, Mother," I said, dryly.

She tutted. "Are you seeing Edward today?"

"No," I sighed. "He has a date."

"A date? Really? That's…odd," She said. "He always had such a crush on you."

"It might not be a real date," I said, sipping more water nervously. "His mom just set him up on a blind date is all. He might not even like her. He _probably_ wont even like her."

"True, although you know, Sweetie," She said, tilting her head to one side. "If his mother set it up then they're probably pretty compatible. No one knows her own children like a Mother does."

"But do they know the value of a white lie, _Mother_?" I said, tutting.

"Sorry," She laughed lightly, patting my hand. "Although, you could foresee this coming."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Sweetheart, did you really think he was going to wait forever?" She asked.

"Well, I…," I stuttered. "It's not really like that with him and I. We're not together, we're just friends right now. I'm not even that bothered, actually."

"Then why do you sound so bothered?" She challenged me.

I squiggled uncomfortably in my chair. She sensed I was feeling uneasy, and reached over to the kitchen worktop, picking up an envelope.

"This came for you yesterday," She said, handing it to me. "I don't think they have your new address yet."

Anxiously, I opened it and read it's contents. My mouth dropped open in shock.

…………………

Later that night, despite my best efforts to stop myself, I found myself walking to Babe's apartment.

_Knock knock_

He opened the door and smiled. "Hello there."

"Hi," I said, a little lost for words.

"What can I do for you?" He smirked.

"I just…wanted to come and see how your big date went, Stud," I said, trying to act cheerful.

"I see, come on in then," He said, standing aside.

I walked in, casually.

"Coffee?" He asked.

"Love one," I smiled. "So…did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," He said simply, smiling.

"What was she like?" I pressed.

"She was nice," He said, busying himself making the coffee.

"Well are you going to see her again?" I asked, probingly.

He laughed and said nothing.

"You're not giving me much," I said.

"Why are you asking so many questions?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I'm just interested," I said defensively, sitting down. "So give me something."

He walked up to me, and kissed my hand. "You've made me so happy."

"What?"

"Because you're jealous," He smiled.

"I am not," I said defensively.

"You are!" He insisted. "You came all the way over here to ask me all these questions. You've clearly been thinking about it all day."

"That's not true," I said unconvincingly.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "It's exactly what I wanted."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I didn't even have a date today," He admitted, sheepishly.

"You what?!" I asked, surprised.

"I'm sorry but…I just had to make you realise…"

"Realise what?" I asked.

"How much you like me and how much you don't want to see me with anyone else," He said. I opened my mouth to protest but he put a finger to my lips. "Am I wrong?"

I paused for a moment, looking him in the eye. "No. No you're not wrong."

"Victory," He said joking, smiling nervously.

"I do want you," I said, standing up and looking at the floor.

"Do me a favour?" He asked. "Don't give me a "but", not tonight."

"No buts," I smiled, looking into his eyes. "I promise that I-"

"Sshhh," He said, silencing my by putting a finger to his lips. Slowly he pulled me towards him, pulling my lips to his and kissing me softly. I ran my hands up his arms, enjoying the muscly feeling. As his kisses trailed down my jaw, I knew the inevitable was coming.


	34. Chapter 34 Christmas Dishes

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

"Okay, where do you want it?" Babe asked, struggling with the huge tree that was slung over his back.

"Hmm, here, maybe," I suggested, then shook me head. "No wait, here. Or hmm, maybe by the window would be nice because then everyone can see it when they walk past."

"By all means, take your time," He said sarcastically, struggling under the weight. "It only feels like it's a two-tonne elephant I'm holding here, after all."

I laughed. "Put it by the window."

"Okay," He said, lugging it over.

"You know, Babe, I really can't believe you never thought to put a tree up in your apartment. Christmas is in _two_ days!"

"Give me a break, I've been a little preoccupied, " He smirked, winking at me.

Turning around, blushing slightly, I reached for a nearby box. "Ok, lets decorate."

"What you got in the box?" He asked, peering in.

"Tinsel. It's red, my mother had some spare. A few baubles I got from the corner store," I said, pulling out an red stained glass bauble. "This one was my favourite one as a little girl, I thought you could borrow it for a while."

"Wow," He said, touching it lightly. "Nice to know you trust me. What's in that bag?"

"Popcorn," I said absent-mindedly, pulling out strips of paper.

"You brought snacks?" He asked, smiling.

"No," I laughed, handing him a threaded needle. "You thread it like this. Try it!"

"I have to do this?" He asked. "What are you doing there?"

"Making paper chains to hang over your doorway," I said, looking in the box for glue.

"This isn't easy," He moaned, looking down at the popcorn. "So, are you coming to the party?"

"What party?" I asked, looking up from what I was doing.

"My folks are having a Christmas Eve party tomorrow night," He said. "They sent your invitation to your parents' house."

"They invited my parents and I?" I squeaked.

"Of course," He laughed. "I talk about you enough, why wouldn't they finally want to meet you?"

"Oh, so I suppose you've told them that we're…that you and I…," I stuttered, uncomfortably.

"…are good friends," He said, reassuringly. "Don't worry, I haven't taken out an announcement in the local paper just yet."

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes.

"So you'll come?" He asked.

"Sure, I guess I could swing by," I said. "My mom never even mentioned anything to me, although I haven't been there in the last few days."

"They RSVPed to the invitation," He said. "I figured they would've…OOOWWW! Okay, I can't do this. All I'm doing is threading my fingers."

I laughed and offered him my Paper Chain. "Swap?"

…………………………

"I love a party," My mother sighed, happily. "When did we last go to a party?"

"Ready?" I asked, as we stood outside of the Heffrons' door.

"I hate this tie, Moira, it's too tight!" My father exclaimed, tugging at his tie.

"Leave it be!" My mother warned.

"Oh my God," I sighed, ringing the doorbell.

Babe opened the door. "Good Evening."

"Edward," My Mother chirped. "How lovely to see you!"

"Mrs Anderson," He greeted, kissing her cheek and shaking my father's hand. "Mr Anderson, good to see you again. Come on in."

He led us inside to the Heffron's home, which was bursting at the seams with Christmas decorations.

"See," I whispered in Babe's ear. "_This_ is decorating for Christmas! You could learn a few things from your mother, Mister."

"I'll bear that in mind," He said, letting his hand wander to my side but removed it as a lady walked towards us.

"Ed, Sweetie, is this them?" She asked. "The Andersons?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, Ma. This is Mr and Mrs Anderson."

"Call us Moira and James," My Mother insisted.

"Moira, James, so lovely to meet you both!" She said, kissing them both on the cheek. "Helen Heffron. My husband is around here somewhere. I'll need to introduce you."

"This is Fiona, Ma," He said, pointing his head towards me.

She cocked her head to one side, looking her son in the eye and smiling before taking my hands. "Lovely to meet you, Sweetheart. Ed's told us so much about you!"

"Oh, really?" I smiled, embarrassed, as though I'd suddenly become an eight-year-old girl.

"Don't worry," She chuckled. "All good things. Say, Ed, why don't you take Fiona over and get her a glass of fizzy. I'll see to her parents."

We watched as she led my parents away, presumably to meet Mr. Heffron.

Babe laughed at me. "Look how shy you get!"

"What?" I asked defensively. "I didn't get embarrassed."

"Please," He laughed. "Your cheeks went as red as the Christmas decorations!"

"They did not!" I protested, laughing. "Anyway, where's that drink I was promised?"

…………..

Losing Babe to a tipsy and affectionate Uncle, I walked through the throng of people, looking to see if Bill and Carla had arrived. Scanning the crowd, I spotted Carla standing next to the buffet table, alone.

"Merry Christmas," I said, walking over to her, kissing her cheek. "Are you here alone?"

"No," She said, pointing across the room. "Bill's over there, talking to Ralph Spina."

"I actually wanted to see you tonight," I told her. "I have a little something for you."

"You do?" She asked.

"I handed her a parcel. "Just a little Christmas present. Something I made for the baby."

"Oh, that's so sweet!" She gushed.

"Oh, don't thank me yet," I laughed. "I'm sorry, it's not very good. I made it myself, but…I can't really knit. So, when you open it, if it looks really oversized, I'm not trying offend your baby, I swear! I'm just not very good."

She laughed. "Well thanks for the thought. Very sweet of you."

"So are you having a good time?" I asked.

"A lovely time," She said, yawning. "I'm very tired though, I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I think we'll go when Bill comes back over. So what's this I hear about you and Babe?"

"What did you hear?" I asked, inquisitively.

"Uh…nothing," She said, seeing the look on my face.

"Hey Carla," Babe said, coming up from behind us and kissing Carla on the cheek. "Mind if I borrow Fiona for a minute?"

"Not at all," She smiled, grateful for the interruption. "Bill's coming back over anyway. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight Carla! Merry Christmas," I called back, as Babe led me away. "Babe, where are you taking me?"

"Look over there," He pointed.

I looked over to see our mothers chatting in hushed conversation on the sofa.

"Hmmm, what do you suppose that's about?" I asked.

"Probably nothing good," He said, chuckling lightly. Frowning, he added. "Probably talking about us."

"Oh what that's now?" I said, mock-offended. "Are you embarrassed by me or something?"

"Of course I'm embarrassed," He joked.

I pointed to the mistletoe above my head. "Well, I _was_ going to…but since I'm _such_ an embarrassment…."

He put his hands on either side of my shoulders and planted a kiss on my lips. After a few seconds, I pulled away, giggling but red-cheeked.

"You know I'm not embarrassed," He said, stroking my cheek. "I just know you don't want any gossip."

"Ed, Sweetie!" Helen called over.

We looked over to see our mothers signalling us over. We looked at each other, wondering if they'd seen what just happened. From the looks on their faces I guessed so.

"What's up, Ma?" He asked, leading me over to them.

"Could you be a dear and show Fiona' Mother where the bathroom is?" She said.

"Uh, sure," He said, uneasily. "Come with me, Mrs Anderson."

"Sit down with me a second, Honey," Helen said, patting the seat next to her after they'd left.

I sat down. "Great Party, Mrs Heffron."

"Now, now. Call me Helen!" She said. "You know, Edward speaks so highly of you."

I smiled, unsure of what to say. "Well I think he's a great person."

"He is," She smiled fondly, letting out a laugh. "Oh, I could tell you some stories about him!"

"Really?" I laughed, feeling more at ease. "Like what?"

"Oh, he did some really goofy things when he was a little boy," She said. "Once when he was 7, his dad took him to the Circus and…"

"Mom!" Babe said, walking quickly over to us. "Fiona doesn't need to hear about what happened at the Circus."

I laughed. "No, I _really_ think I'd like to."

"So, kids," Helen said, changing the subject. "Tell me what's going on here, between you two."

"Mom!" Babe exclaimed. "You're so embarrassing."

"What, Honey? I'm just talking to your friend," She smiled innocently.

He laughed. "Sure you are, Ma. I'm taking Fiona away now."

"Spoilsport," She laughed. "Lovely to meet you again, Dear."

"You too," I kissed her cheek as he led me away. "Feel free to tell me that Circus story next time I see you!"

"Shush!" He exclaimed, reaching for my hand. "I'm trying to get you away from the embarrassing Mother here!"

"She's not embarrassing," I protested, laughing. "She's lovely!"

He led me out onto the landing. "Wow, noisy in there, huh?"

I smiled coyly. "A little."

"Wanna go chat for a while downstairs at my place?" He asked, motioning towards the stairs.

"You're just trying to keep me away from your Mother, aren't you?" I laughed as he led me to his apartment.

"Maybe," He said, kissing me as we got to his front door. "Is it working?"

"Maybe!"

……………………

"Okay," My mother said stressed, putting a bowl of potatoes down on the table. "Does everyone have a full glass?"

"Yes, Mom," I smiled, patting her seat. "Sit down now, you've worked so hard."

"Our most Christmas Guests to date," She beamed, proudly.

It was Christmas Day and my Mom was right, we'd never had so many people over for Christmas dinner before. Mom, Dad, Doug, Duncan, Sandra and James's parents.

"A toast," My father announced. "Merry Christmas everyone!"

"Merry Christmas!" We said in unison.

"And a toast to the new baby," My mother added, smiling.

"To the new baby!" We all repeated.

"And to James," I said, smiling over at his parents.

"To James!"

……………..

"Will you ladies be alright with the clean up?" My mother asked, bringing in another pile to Sandra and I.

"Of course, Mom," I smiled. "Go talk to James's Mom."

My mom came up and hugged me, whispering in my ear. "You know, I couldn't say this earlier, it didn't feel right with James's parents sitting there. But I'm so happy this Christmas. To have my whole family back together again, I'm a very lucky Christmas. Last Christmas was so awful."

I hugged her back. "Tell me about it, Mom. Last Christmas I was sitting in a foxhole freezing my as…er, rump off."

She chuckled. "Things to celebrate all round, then."

Straightening her apron, my mother smiled at us and walked off to the living room.

"That brought a tear to my eye," Sandra admitted. "Pregnancy hormones, I suppose."

I laughed. "Have you had a good Christmas?"

"Very good," She said. "I didn't know it was possible to eat so much."

"I know," I laughed. "I'll sleep well tonight."

"Your mom told me about the letter you got," She said, reaching for a dishtowel. "I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I haven't really decided yet, though."

"Are you kidding me?" She exclaimed. "It's a brilliant opportunity. You'll always regret it if you don't."

"I know," I said, looking down.

"Ouch," Sandra said, sitting down.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just my feet. They've swollen up so badly since I got pregnant," She said, sighing. "I find it hard to stand up for long."

"Oh, Sandra," I said, sympathetically. "Look, go sit down in the sitting room. I'll be fine here alone."

"Are you sure, it's a lot of dishes to do," She said, unsure.

"Of course, now off you go," I said, pointing to the door.

She walked off and I set about tending to the pile of crockery and cooking utensils piled high in the sink.

Suddenly I heard a tapping at the window. I jumped back, almost dropping the plate I was holding. I looked out to see Babe's face at the window.

"You scared me," I said, opening up the window. "What are you doing here?"

"Merry Christmas," He smiled. "How's it going?"

I motioned to the pile of dirty dishes around me. "Answer your question?"

"Too bad," He said, sympathetically. "I was just wondering if you might wanna get out of here for a while?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You and me, let's go. I have a surprise for you," He smiled.

Intrigued, I raised my eyebrows. "Really? Oh wait though, I have to finish and it'll take me hours!"

"Well," He said, patting his hand on the metal stairs next to him. "We have this perfectly good fire escape here. They won't miss you for a little while. I promise I'll have you home in an hour."

"Oh, you promise?" I joked sarcastically.

"Come on, whaddya say?"

Unsure, I looked over at the kitchen door and then smiled, reaching out my hand for him to help me out of the window. Moving swiftly and carefully down the fire escape, we burst out laughing as we hit the ground.

"We made it," He laughed.

"It was looking a little shaky up there," I exclaimed. "When was that thing even made?"

"Before we were born, I think," He said.

Feeling very free and liberated out here in the night air, I looked at him menacingly.

"What?" He asked, nervously.

Slowly I bent down and picked up a handful of snow, rolling it into a ball.

"Don't do it," He said, warningly.

Laughing, I took aim and threw it.

"That's it," He laughed, shaking the snow off. "Run!"

I took off running down the straight, Babe in hot pursuit of me. As it happens he's always been a faster runner than me and he caught up with my easily at the stoop of a tenement house. He ran in front of me, blocking my path.

"Caught you," He said, breathlessly.

Laughing, I tried to run past him again but he caught me easily in his arms, forcing me up onto the first step of the stoop.

"Okay, I'm officially caught _now_," I laughed, putting my arms around his neck.

"That's right," He chuckled, moving into to kiss me softly.

Lost in the moment, I fell backwards, dragging him with me and smacking my head off of the front door as I fell.

"Ouch," I exclaimed.

He couldn't conceal his laughter. "I'm sorry but _that_ was funny."

"Oh thanks," I said dryly.

He pulled me to my feet and moved closer to me. "Need me to kiss that better for you?"

Suddenly the front door opened and we found ourselves face to facebwith a lady in her mid-50s. "Can I help you?"

"Oh," I said, looking around panicked. Babe and I looked at each other, nothing coming to mind.

Suddenly I broke into song. "We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."

I paused. She blinked at me. I dug babe in the runs.

"Good tidings we bring to you and your king. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year," We sung, in unison and very out of tune.

"Well," The lady said, wrinkling her nose a little. "That was…nice."

"Thank you, Ma'am," Babe said.

"Here," She said, handing us a dollar and quickly shutting the door again. "Merry Christmas."

We moved quickly down the street, laughing.

"That was funny," He said.

"I guess a dollar is worth the sore head," I said.

"My offer still stands to kiss it better," He offered, smiling.

"Let's wait until we get to your place, it's very cold and I don't happen to be wearing a coat."

……………………..

We walked into Babe's apartment, where I was ecstatic to see a fire roaring in the hearth. I walked up to it, holding out my hands to warm myself.

"So what was this surprise that I risked hypothermia for?" I asked, jokingly.

He held out a bow-topped parcel at me.

"What's this?" I asked, shocked. "We did presents three days ago."

"I know, but the scarf was just a stand-in until I had this one ready," He said. "It took a while for me to get it together."

"Babe, you shouldn't have," I said excitedly, sitting down to open it.

Ripping off the wrapping, I looked down at a colourful scrapbook.

"What is this?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Look through it," He told me.

I leafed through the pages and gasped. It was a scrapbook filled with mementos from my entire time with Easy Company: various coasters and matchbooks from pubs that we'd drunk in in England and Germany; letters from the men, detailing their best Easy memories; bits of a pinecone from the Ardennes; some pictures of me and the men and so much more. I was speechless.

"Do you like it?" He asked, nervously.

"Do I like it?" I asked incredulously. "I love it! You got them to write to you?"

"Most of them," He smiled. "A few never replied."

"And the pictures?" I asked.

"Had a word with the Major," He smiled, sheepishly.

"Oh Babe," I said, not knowing how best to describe my feelings so I just leaned out and kissed him.

………….

As promised that night, he had me home within the hour. Walking home hand-in-hand, we stopped at the fire escape again.

"Nice timing," He praised himself, looking at his watch.

"You delivered," I smiled, kissing him on the lips. "Thank you so much again for the present. It's, hands down, the best gift I've ever gotten."

"So, if anything it won me points?" He asked cockily.

"Lots of points," I smiled.

"So does that mean I get to call you my girlfriend," He asked, nervously.

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

"No, hey, it's fine," He said, shaking it off. "If it's too soon."

"No Babe, it's not that," I smiled. "I'd really love it if you called me that."

"Really?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes," I said. "But it's just…"

"What?"

"Babe, I have to tell you something," I said, nervous myself now. "A little while ago, when things were really bad between Bill and I, I started applying for teaching jobs…teaching jobs outside of Philly."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I just thought it would be easier if I got away from it all, made a fresh start," I explained.

"You never said anything to me," He pointed out.

"I know but I didn't expect to hear anything, as a newly qualified teacher. I didn't expect anyone to hire me. But a few days ago, I got a letter from a Private School in Pittsburgh, and they want me to start right away after the Christmas Vacation," I said, unsure how he'd react.

"You're thinking of taking it?" He asked.

"…yes," I said quietly. "I'm going to. It's such a good opportunity that I can't just let it go."

"I understand," He said, confused. "What…what about me?"

"I don't wanna lose you," I said, moving closer to him, holding onto his jacket lapel.

"But if you move away…," He said, trying to work things in his head.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

He moved back, shaken. "Why don't we talk about this tomorrow, okay?"

He kissed me on the cheek and walked off, leaving me standing there in the snow. Hoping I hadn't blown it, I climbed sadly up the fire escape back to my pile of dishes.


	35. Chapter 35 Flying Solo?

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The next day I waited anxiously at my apartment. Babe said he'd talk to me "tomorrow", and there were about five hours left until "tomorrow" was all over!

_Knock Knock_.

"It's open," I called out. I knew who it was.

He opened the door and sat next to me on the couch. Silence.

"I thought you were going to teach at your old high school," He said suddenly.

"I was…I mean, I _could_," I replied.

"Then why don't you?" He asked, not understanding.

"You don't understand. They don't normally give jobs in Private Schools to such inexperienced teachers, because parents are paying top dollar and expect the best education for their children. So for them to hire me is just…better than any opportunity I'll likely ever get again in my life," I said, trying to make him see my point.

"Why can't you just be happy here with me?" He asked.

"That's not fair," I argued. "I have to do this. If the last few years has taught me anything, it's that you have to grab these chances before they pass you by, because often you only get one shot!"

He was silent for a moment, looking down into his lap. "So this is it then?"

"No," I insisted, reaching over and grabbing his hand. "I don't want this to be over at all! Why…why don't you come with me?"

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"It could be really great," I said, smiling enthusiastically. "We could be together out there, like a fresh new start for both of us."

"I'm not the one that needs a fresh start here," He pointed out. "Besides, I have a job here, a career path that I've chosen to follow. What the hell would I do in Pittsburgh?"

"Well, Babe, they _do_ have cops in Pittsburgh too," I said pointedly.

"Yeah but I'm a _Philly_ cop, these are the streets I know," He said, looking at me heartbrokenly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I know it's a lot to ask but I really think this could be something, and I want the chance to explore that with you. I'll understand if you can't, but _please please_ at least think about it whilst I'm away."

"Away?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah," I said, distractedly. "I'm going Nevada with my folks, to meet Sandra's family."

"How long?"

"Just a few days," I replied. "I should get back for New Years."

………………

"Could you move over a little bit?" My little brother, Doug asked me.

"I would but there's no little bit for me to move to," I said, indicating how on-the-edge of my seat I was.

We were all literally squeezed into a booth on the train.

"So where is it you actually stay?" My mother asked Sandra.

"A town called Henderson," Sandra replied.

"And your parents really don't mind all of us coming up like this?" She asked, worried.

"No, not at all. They're very excited to meet you all. But we don't have a lot of space in our house so we've arranged for some of you to stay with my Aunt and Uncle next door," She told us.

"Oh, speaking of houses," My mother said, turning to me. "Your father spoke to his friend in Pittsburgh, and he can arrange rented accommodation for you. It's an upper- level apartment and the rent is quite reasonable, according to your salary."

I forced a smile, thinking about Babe.

"Pittsburgh," Sandra said, patting my hand. "What an adventure. I'm so jealous."

"Cheer up," Duncan said, rolling his eye at me as he peered over his paper. "It might never happen."

"Duncan," Sandra scolded. "Listen, Fiona, I have a surprise for you."

"What?" I asked.

"Well tomorrow night, my parents want to take your parents out for dinner, so I was thinking that you, Duncan, Doug, my brothers and I could all take the train up…Las Vegas!" She said, beaming.

"Wow, Las Vegas? Really?" I said, perking up.

"Yup, and I was hoping you'd be glad about it because whilst the boys do some gambling, I booked a show for you and I," She told me.

"What show?" I asked, excited to be going to a Las Vegas show!

"Well my mother told me about a show at the New Frontier that I thought you might be interested in, headlining…a Mr. Frank Sinatra!"

"Frank Sinatra?" I squealed. "Are you kidding me?!"

………………..

"This place is so fancy," I remarked, looking around the candlelit room.

"Isn't it?" Sandra agreed. "I'm feeling a little underdressed."

"Tell me about it," I laughed. "Oh well, who cares. We might never get to come here again."

"True," She laughed, sipping from her glass. "Oh, but don't tell Duncan that. I've told him I expect to be taken to lots of shows in our younger married years. Sets the bar you see, shows him he needs to earn lots of money."

"That's so evil," I laughed. "Such a pretty picture of marriage you paint there, Sandra."

"Oh, I'm just foolin," She smiled. "Really, marriage is lovely. You'll see that yourself someday."

"I don't know about that," I said, honestly. "I see myself as the spinster teacher with lots of cats…except that I'm allergic to cats. Maybe birds."

"Don't be silly, you'll get married," She said. "Babe will realise that he can't live without you, you'll both swan off to Pittsburgh and live happily ever after."

"I don't know about that," I sighed. "He doesn't seem very keen, and if I'm honest I don't blame him. I've put that man through so much…maybe he'd be better off without me."

"Don't start that," She said. "I'll tell somet-"

She was cut off by the strains of music coming from the stage.

"Ladies and Gentleman," The stage announcer boomed. "Please welcome to the New Frontier Hotel…Mr. Frank Sinatra!!"

………………

A few days later, as I'd told Babe, we were back in Philly on New Years Eve.

"I can't believe the delays on that train," My mother complained as we walked through the door, laden down with suitcases. "I was hoping to be home much earlier than this."

"What did you expect? It _is_ New Years Eve," My father pointed out.

"Well, if you don't mind I'm going to head straight down to the party at the diner," I said, checking my hair in the mirror. "Coming along?"

"No dear," My mother sighed, flopping onto the couch. "I think your father and I will just stay in instead."

"Okay, Bye!" I said, turning to the door. "Happy New Year!"

…………….

_Wow, I think everyone in South Philly is here_, I thought to myself as I walked into the packed diner.

"Cutting it a little close aren't you, Stranger?" A voice called out behind me, blowing a party hooter into my ear. "Five minutes until New Years?"

I turned round. "Spina."

"Where you been?" He asked, giving me a hug. "I aint seen you or your brother in a while."

"We've been in Nevada," I said, distractedly. "Ralph, you haven't seen Babe have you?"

"He was here a while ago, but he said he was going to take off," Spina replied. "He wasn't in the best mood."

"So he left? When?" I asked, anxiously.

"About three minutes ago," He said, pointing to the window. "But Bill and Carla are over there."

"I'll say hi later," I said. "Look, I'm going to go outside for some air."

I walked outside and sat on the bench, breathing in the night air.

"Fiona!" Babe cried, running outside and looking around frantically.

"Here," I said, as though I was replying to a roll call. Idiot.

"Spina said you were here," He said, adding a nervous chuckle. "Figures. I've been waiting for you all night and you turn up when I go to the bathroom."

I walked over to him, throwing my arms around him in a tight hug. I stepped back, blushing. "Sorry. Had the impulse."

"I want to go away with you," He blurted out.

"My heart skipped a beat. "Are you sure?"

"I'm so sure," He said, breaking into a smile. "I miss you too much when you're not around. Even these past few days, I was going crazy without you."

"Oh good because I was too," I smiled, so relieved.

"I need you in my life," He continued. "So I'll follow you anywhere. I love you."

"I love you too," I said, hugging him and whispering in his ear. "It just took me a while to see it."

"Yeah, well," He laughed. "It's nice to hear you say it."

"I can't believe this," I said excitedly. "And listen, if you don't like over there at all just tell me and…it's not a problem and…"

"Shhh," He said. "Everything will be perfect."

Suddenly the sound of the bells rung out and an explosion of cheering erupted from inside the diner.

"Happy New Year, I guess," I said, laughing.

New Year. How much had changed since the last one.

………………………..

"Okay, so the apartment is ready, everything is packed, I'm giving my apartment keys to my mom. Argh, we leave tomorrow and I feel like I'm forgetting something," I said anxiously, as Babe and I walked along to my parents' apartment. "Oh that's it! You're _sure_ your landlord knows you're leaving?"

"Yes, Sweetie," He laughed, holding my hand. "Calm down, you're going to lose your head if you keep going like this. Everything is taken care of."

"Ok, you're right," I said, breathing deeply. "Why are we going here again?"

"Well," He said, as we stopped outside the door. "They planned…well, you'll see."

I looked at him oddly as he opened the door, ushering me inside.

"BON VOYAGE!" A crowd jumped up and shouted as we walked in.

"Oh my God!" I screamed happily. I turned to Babe and whispered. "You knew about this?"

"Well yeah," He whispered back. "But I couldn't tell you about it, I'm trying to get on your parent's good side, remember?"

"You already are," I laughed, walking over to my parents. "Mom!"

"You think we'd let you leave for Pittsburgh tomorrow without a Goodbye Party?" She laughed, hugging me.

"Well, Edward," My father said, putting his hand on Babe's back and leading him away. "Let's you and I have a little word."

Babe looked fearfully over his shoulder at me as my father led him away for "The Talk".

"I wouldn't worry," My mother chuckled. "I'm sure your father will give him back in one piece."

"I'll miss you, Mom," I said, the emotion catching up with me.

"Now, don't start with that, you're not going that far away. Plus, I'm so happy for you," She smiled, then wrinkled her nose. "_Well_, as happy as any Mother can be about her only daughter moving to a new town where she will be living with her male _companion_ out of wedlock."

"Mom," I laughed, rolling my eyes. "I just won't listen to what the neighbours say."

……………..

"So, can you answer me something honestly?" Carla said, sitting down next to me with a glass of juice. "Are you leaving because of the Bill situation?"

"Carla," I said, feeling a little giddy with the situation and squeezing her hand. "I'm not going to lie. Originally, I thought it would be better if I left. But now, it's not about that at all."

"It's not?" She asked.

"Nope," I said pointing over at Babe, who was still listening to my father's lecture. "It's a great opportunity, and it's about that man over there. He loves me so much, and I've realised now that I love him too."

"Can I let you in on a little secret?" She asked, chuckling. "I always knew you like each other, him more so but I knew part of you _always_ liked him. I was hoping you'd realise it eventually."

I smiled.

"Well, it's a shame you won't be here for our little arrival," She said, patting her belly. "And I truly mean that. I'm not saying it sarcastically."

"I know," I said, smiling at her. "Don't worry, though, I'll be back _a lot_. I'll get to know them."

"I'm glad," She said. "For what it's worth, I'm sad you and I never got to be closer, although I _do_ understand."

I smiled. "Maybe we got as close as we were ever meant to. But I do think you're a wonderful woman, Carla. I want you to know that."

Bill walked over and sat next to us.

"And I think you're going to be a wonderful mother," I said, looking at both of them, tearing at the eyes.

"Thank you," She said, her own eyes watering. "Oh now, look at the state I'm in."

I handed her a tissue.

"Thanks," She said, wiping her eyes and patting Bill's shoulder. "I think I'm going to go to the restroom and tidy up. I'll leave you two to say your goodbyes."

She walked away and Bill and I smiled at each other.

"So, Bill Guarnere," I smiled.

"Miss Anderson," He replied, that twinkle in his eye.

"Happy New Year, by the way," I said.

"And to yourself," He smiled, kissing me on the cheek. "Jeez, how different from the last one, huh?"

"I was just thinking that the other day!" I said, a little over-excitedly. Stupid Champagne. "Still, that's life, huh?"

He smiled. "Apparently so."

Babe walked up to us, finally free from my father. "Mind if I sit with you?"

"No, Sweetie, sit down," I smiled, patting the chair.

"I'd better go find the Missus anyway," Bill said, all three of us standing up.

"Ok, Bill," I said, hugging him. "See you next time I'm home, okay?"

"Knock em dead out there, Kiddo," He said, hugging me. I think we both took a little inhale of each others' scent. He released me and moved to hug Babe. "You take care of her out there, Pal…and look after yourself too, huh?"

"Will do, Bill," Babe said, smiling at me over Bill's shoulder.

We watched him leave. I looked at Babe. "So, are you ready then?"

"Absolutely," He said, kissing me.

"So…," I said, as we sat back down. "What exactly did my father say to you?"

…………………

NOTE- okay, from here on out I'm going to start jumping forward in time, to follow my story plan lol. I'll try and keep it as simple as possible, because I think I have a tendency to complicate things. I don't know how I do it but I do, haha. I'm starting to cruise this story towards its end now, but there's still a way to go yet haha


	36. Chapter 36 Hollywood Moments

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

_**(FOUR MONTHS LATER)**_

Babe an I found ourselves living in Greenfield, a neighbourhood in the South- East End of Pittsburgh, in a cosy second floor apartment (cosy aka. "Small"). We'd set off from Philly on the understanding that we'd give it a three-month trial (which, by that point we'd surpassed)…oh, and that we'd stay faithful to the Philadelphia Eagles and, no matter how badly neighbours tried to persuade us, to never convert to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

As it turned out, life out of Philly together was bliss. Away from past history and the watchful eyes of all of our friends and family, whilst being dependant on each other in this new place, we were able to get to know each other on so many levels. It was the little thing, for example I found out that Babe could easily spend all morning in the tub unless coerced out of there (something I may have found out in Europe had we been on holiday and not fighting for our country). I was four months into my new teaching position at James Alverson Private Academy and, despite some snooty students who occasionally needed putting in their place, I was having a great time. Babe had successfully entered into the ranks of the Pittsburgh Police Department, mostly thanks to his involvement in WW2 and the grateful Police Chiefs, who _normally_ preferred long-term Pittsburgh residents who knew the streets well. Turns out, he actually liked being a Pittsburgh cop. "Same job, different badge", as he put it. Turned out, since he'd come from somewhere else and wasn't well-known amongst the local residents, to his delight a few rumours started to circulate about him, rumours that made him sound quite hard-ass. Although I knew they were untrue, it made me chuckle because it reminded me so much of Lieutenant Speirs.

………………………….

"A mule is an animal with long, funny ears. He kicks up at everything he hears. His back is brawny and his brain is weak. He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak," I sang along to Bing Crosby on the radio as I stirred a pot over the stove, adding in some more pepper.

A pair of arms slipped around my waist, singing along with me. "Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better of than you are, or would you rather be a pig?"

"I didn't hear you coming home," I smiled, not turning round but continuing to stir my stew.

"Stealth, all part of the job," He said. I could tell her was smiling cockily without even looking at him.

I rolled my eyes. "How was work, Sweetie?"

"Ah you know, the usual. Few more scumbags behind bars and the streets are that little bit safer," He laughed.

"My hero," I said dramatically, turning round to face him and forcing a spoon in his face. "Taste this. Be honest."

"Okay," He said, eating from the spoon and screwing up his face slightly. "Lovely."

"You don't like it?" I asked.

"Well…,"

"It's horrible, isn't it?" I said, laughing and putting the spoon down. "I guess I have a way to go until I'm a domestic goddess."

"It's okay," He said, moving me out of the way of the pot. "Why don't I cook us up something?"

"What do you know about cooking, you're Irish," I laughed, quoting Buck, who used to say the same to Malarkey all the time.

"Oh fine then," He said, acting offended. "You can go hungry…or eat your _stew_. I know which I think is worse."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips. "Forgive me?"

He opened his eyes after the kiss. "No."

I kissed him again. "Now?"

"Okay," He said, laughing. The song changed on the radio, as Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy came on. "Oh, I love this song."

"You do like your Andrews Sisters, I've noticed," I laughed.

"Let's dance," he said, reaching for my hand and leading me into the sitting room and swinging me round in an over-enthusiastic Hollywood fashion.

"Now the question is," I laughed, as we danced around. "Will the gentleman finish in the traditional Hollywood kiss?"

He dipped me down, kissing me. "The gentleman _always_ finishes with a Hollywood kiss."

Laughing, he positioned me upright again.

"Okay," He said, kissing my forehead. "Let's see how I can fix that stew."

…………..

Stuffed, we lay on the couch, cuddled up as we listened to the radio.

"That was lovely," I said, snuggling into his arms. "How did make _that_ tasty?"

"Chefs don't reveal their secrets," He said, tapping his nose.

"…You added salt didn't you?"

"Maybe," He laughed, stroking my hair. "But when the kids ask on day we tell them I added all sorts of exotic spices."

"The kids?" I asked, turning round to look at him, raising my eyebrows.

"I only meant…you know what I…it was a joke," He said, trying not to scare me.

"You think about us having kids?" I asked, trying to sound casual as I settled back into his arms.

"Sometimes," He said.

"What do you think about?" I asked, anxiously.

"What every man thinks about. Nice, big house with a white picket fence. Three kids maybe running around," He said dreamily.

"Three?" I asked, surprised. "You want three?"

"I've always wanted three," He admitted, hugging me closer. "Probably two boys and then a girl."

"No," I argued, laughing. "Boy, girl, boy."

"Ok, we'll agree to disagree," He laughed, adding. "As long as they have Irish names."

"Excuse me, " I laughed, surprised. "I'm not Irish."

"I know, but Irish names are more…you know," He said, trying to dig his way out of the hole.

"No, I don't know…care to fill me in?" I asked, digging him in the ribs.

"Okay, a mix of Scottish and Irish," He laughed.

"Deal. Sure is idyllic, huh?" I said, dreamily.

"Sure does," He agreed.

"Mmm," I yawned lightly, snuggling drowsily into his chest.

"We could have it, y'know," He said, but I'd already fallen asleep.

………………………..

"Okay," I said to my class two days later. "Verb revision. Who can tell me the verb for 'to drink'?"

Martha, a slender girl with long brown hair raised her hand. "Beber?"

"Correct," I smiled. "Now can you conjugate it in the preterite for me?"

"Ummm, bebí, bebiste…," She started.

"Miss, there's a man at the door," One of the boys said, pointing over.

I looked over to see Babe loitering outside in the hallway, in his Police uniform. He must have come straight from work.

"Okay, revise for a few moments," I said, furrowing my brow as I walked to the door, opening it slightly. "Edward?"

He raised his eyes slightly at me calling him "Edward".

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I uh…how are ya?" He asked, nervously.

"Um…I'm okay," I said, confused. "But I'm kind of teaching a class here."

"Oh," He said, his eyes darting around. "Uh…right, sorry. I was just wondering if we could eat out at a restaurant tonight…maybe, if you want?"

"O…kay," I said, still confused.

"Miss, is that your husband?" John, one of my rowdier students, piped up from the back of the class.

"Don't be stupid, John," One of the girls cut in. "Of course he's not her husband. She doesn't wear a wedding ring."

"Class!" I said, taken aback.

"Is he a cop?" John asked.

"Yes…yes he is," I said, hurriedly. "He's very busy as well, so…"

"Man, I wish I could be a cop one day," John said, moving forward in his desk to get a better look at Babe's uniform. "What kind of things do you do?"

"Uh, well…," Babe said, looking anxiously at me for approval to enter. Relenting, I nodded. He walked over to the desk. "Well, buddy, we do a lot of different things."

"But killing bad guys is most of it, right?" Billy, with a face full of freckles, piped up.

"Well, it's not really about that specifically," Babe said, sitting down on the desk and folding his arms into a firm Police-Officer "No nonsense" look. "Really what we do is maintain order on the streets, making sure laws are obeyed and, yes, doling out punishment where it's needed but ultimately, kids, our main duty is to make Pittsburgh a safer place for _you_."

I rolled my eyes, what a superhero answer. He was clearly enjoying himself here, though.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" John asked.

"Well," Babe sighed. " I was a soldier in the war."

"Wooooow," The kids' voices echoed around the room.

_What the hell_, I thought, _why not make their day._ "That's right. In fact, you could say Officer Heffron was something of a war hero. He was a paratrooper in the war. Paratroopers were the men who parachuted _behind_ enemy lines and into the most dangerous areas."

"No way," Billy breathed, impressed.

Babe blushed, and smiled at me. "It's true. I did do this. But, did you know that I'm not the _only_ paratrooper in this room. You're very own teacher here was an army Flight Nurse during the war, so she _also_ parachuted with my regiment."

"Is that true?" Billy asked me, eyes wide-open.

I let out a laugh and nodded. "Yes, Billy, that's true."

"Shit, Miss," John said, raising his eyebrows at me.,

"John!" I scolded.

"I mean…shucks, Miss," He corrected himself.

Diana, a blonde with curly hair sitting near the front tentatively raised her hand. "Miss?"

"Yes, Diana?"

"Is that how you and the Officer met?" She asked, putting her head in her hands excitedly on her desk.

Babe and I looked at each other, red-faced.

"Oh my," Martha gushed. "That is _so_ romantic."

"Oookay," I said, standing up and trying to regain order in the classroom, ushering Babe to the door.. "I'm sure Officer Heffron has a lot of work to do and we certainly have some very important verbs to do so, we'll say goodbye to the good Officer now."

"Goodbye!" They called out to him.

He turned to face me before leaving. "So…dinner in a restaurant?"

"Yes," I whispered, closing the door behind him, composing myself and turning back to the class. "So…verb conjugation."

A chorus of groans sounded around the class.

………………………..

After leaving the restaurant, Babe suggested we go for a walk in Schenley Park. Entering through the plaza, we made our way up to Flagstaff, Hill- my favourite area.

"Dinner was lovely," I said, reaching out to take his arm. "But what was the occasion?"

"N-no reason," He smiled, absent-mindedly as we walked.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "Your mind seemed to be elsewhere during dinner."

"I'm fine," He smiled. "Honestly. So, any news from back home?"

"Oh, yes," I said, remembering. "I got a letter from Eugene. They had a little girl."

"They did?" Babe smiled.

"Yeah, little Maxine," I said, as we reached the hill. "Pretty name."

"Very pretty," He agreed, laying out his jacket on the ground. "Here, sit on that."

"Thanks," I smiled, laying down on my back and looking up into the night sky. "I love this place."

"I know you do," He said. "Why?"

"Because you get such a nice view of the stars," I told him. "You can just sit here and think about everything that's going on in your life."

"Oh, yeah," He smirked. "What do _you_ think about?"

"You," I replied, rolling my eyes at the slushiness of it all.

"I think about you too," He said, laying next to me and taking my hand. "I think about you a lot."

"Is that right?" I asked teasingly, moving in and gently kissing him.

"I think about how happy I've been since we've been together. I mean _together_ together. I mean, I was always happy to have you in my life but things have changed so much for the better," He smiled. "When I left to join the 101st, I doubted I'd make it back alive at all, much less that one day, I'd be living with the love of my life."

"Oh," I smiled, unsure of where this was going.

"I think about the future," He said. "And when I think about it all I see is you."

"Really?" I asked, my stomach filling with butterflies.

"Really. I've always thought it but it really became clear to me the other night when we were talking about children and the house with the picket fence. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want all that, yes…but I want it with you. Only you. I want the house with our names on the door, our white picket fence around it…and I want to have children with you," He said, shaking.

I couldn't speak as nervously got onto one knee. Literally couldn't speak, save a sharp intake of breath as he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small, wooden box.

"Nothing would make me happier than having you as my wife. So, Fiona Anderson, will you…marry me?" He asked, face paling with nerves.

"I…I…," I stuttered, absolutely shocked. I was quiet for several seconds, my eyes as wide as saucers.

"Come on, put a guy out of his misery here," Babe said, letting out a little laugh.

"I…uh…_of course_ I'll marry you," I said, rushing to give him a hug.

"Oh thank God," He said relieved, sliding the ring onto my finger. "I thought my heart was going to burst with fear there!"

"So…we're doing this?" I asked excitedly. "We're getting married?!"

"Looks that way," He said, standing up. "Shall we celebrate this with a Hollywood moment?"

"The dip-kiss?" I asked, smiling.

"No, " He said, picking me up into his arms. "Let's try a new one for a new start."

"He swung me around on the spot, but lost his footing and we fell together to the ground.

"Almost," He said, as we laughed, rolling around on the grass.

So. Back to Philly sooner than I thought, it seemed.


	37. Chapter 37 Wedding Part 1

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

_**(THREE MONTHS LATER)**_

"_We are here today at the wedding of the season! All the cameras around the world are poised in anticipation, waiting for Fiona Anderson to enter the Church The groom, Edward Heffron, waits patiently at the church. The doors have and opened and…"_

"Tickets, please!" A conductor's voice rang out, waking me up with a start and out of my dream.

"Good dream?" Babe asked from the seat opposite me, amused.

"Wh- how long was I out?" I asked, drowsily.

"Couple hours, we should get there in an hour," He said, picking up his newspaper.

Yawning, I sat up properly in my chair. "Are you a little nervous?"

"Why, are you getting cold feet?" He asked looking up, alarmed.

"No," I chuckled. "I don't mean about the wedding, I mean nervous about going back to Philly. We've been away a long time now."

"I know, but it'll be good to see everyone again," He replied. "Good to get the families together, and where better to do that than a wedding, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm glad it's finally happening, it's so much hassle organising a wedding in Philly from Pittsburgh," I said, trying to get me head around it.

He burst out laughing. "What work, Sweetie? Your mom and Sandra did everything, you just told them colours you wanted."

"Hey, thinking of colours is really….difficult," I joked, rolling my eyes and playfully hitting him with his paper. "Excuse me, organised all of the guest list and sent out the invitations!"

"That's true, I guess you did at least 1/15th of all the tasks," He joked, winking at me. "Who from Easy RSVPed?"

"Quite a few," I smiled, reaching into my bag and pulling out the RSVP slips. "the Malarkeys, Joe Toye, Buck, Lieb, Perco, The Roes, Webster, Bill and Carla, Johnny Martin, Spina and the Major RSVPed."

"He did? " Babe asked, impressed.

"Yeah, he wrote on the underside he'd be coming but that he might be late," I replied. "Quite exciting."

"Guess it's all arranged now," He laughed, joking. "Definitely no cold feet?"

"No," I laughed. "Definitely not."

……………………..

After Babe and I dropped our things off at his parents' apartment, I left them to catch-up and made my way over to see my own parents, quite nervously.

"Anyone home?" I called, out opening the door.

"Fiona, is that you?" My mom called out from the kitchen.

"Yes," I laughed, calling back to her. "The Wanderer has returned."

She ran through to greet me in the hallway, squealing with delight as we hugged.

"Sandra!" She shouted out. "Fiona's here!"

"Welcome home!" Sandra cried, bounding through and joining in the hug.

"Oh now," My mother said, disentangling herself and dusting down her dress. "Come on, let's have a nice cup of tea."

"It's so good to see you," Sandra said, squeezing my hand as they led me to the kitchen. "There's someone you have to meet."

"Ooh," I smiled, excitedly. "Could this be my niece?"

Walking into the kitchen, Sandra indicated to the Moses Basket in the corner.

"Oh Sandra, she's precious," I smiled, admiring the cherubic sleeper nestled amongst a pink blanket, admiring the name sewn into it. "Jane Anderson, what a beautiful name."

"She's angel, isn't she Moira?" Sandra said, glancing over at my mum.

"An absolute angel," My mom agreed, laughing. "Except when she's screaming the place down."

"That's true, enjoy this quiet…because soon she's gonna be awake again," Sandra smiled affectionately at the basket.

"Anyway," My mother side, motioning for me to sit down next to her where she filled my cup with the teapot. "Let's get down to business- The Anderson-Heffron wedding."

"Everything arranged?" I asked.

"Well…," My mother said, looking over at Sandra, who looked down at the table.

"What?" I asked, nervously.

"It's Edward's mother…," She sighed, looking down. "We're not agreeing at all."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Sandra, what's going on?"

Sandra held her hands up defensively, suggesting she was taking no part in it.

"Let's just say we have some differences in opinions," She said, dryly.

"Oh Mom," I frowned. "I really thought you two got along well! I wanted everyone to get along. What differences?"

"Oh, we get along perfectly well, it's just some differences in opinions with regards to the wedding traditions?"

"What traditions?" I asked.

"For a start they're a Catholic family, we're protestant," She said, exasperated.

"Oh," I said. It was something that hadn't really registered with me before. "And?"

"The Lord's Prayer! She wants their version!" She exclaimed.

"There's a difference?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"Yes! They stop after 'But Deliver us from Evil'," She said, looking pointedly at me. "But you knew that, right?"

"Oh, of course I did," I lied, blatantly. "Is this really what you've been arguing about?"

"Yes, it's critical, dear," She said.

"Why?"

"Because all of our family and friends sitting on our side are Protestants and they'll want to say the full version," She said, agitated.

"Mom, calm down," I said, patting her hand. "This isn't a big deal. When everyone stands up to say The Lord's Prayer, the Catholic guests can say as much as necessary for them and sit down, and the Protestants can continue until _they're_ done. Okay?"

"That's what I said!" Sandra cried out, then looked down when my mother glared at her.

"I suppose," Mom said. "But people standing and sitting at different times...it's a bit messy."

"But at least then everyone's happy," I chuckled, squeezing my mom's hand. "What else have you been arguing about?"

"Oh!" My mother's eyes flew open. "Scottish/Irish differences!"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "What differences, Mom? As far as I was aware Scotland and Ireland had many similar traditions."

"She wants you to wear a garland of flowers in your hair," Mom told me, angrily. "Apparently _it's an old tradition_."

"Ma, I don't mind doing it if it keeps the peace,"

"That's not the point," Mom ranted. "You're _Scottish_, not Irish. By all means, if she wants _Edward_ to wear flowers in his hair then that's fine, but…"

"It might be pretty," I argued, trying to reason.

"But I…I wanted you to wear the veil I wore when I married your father," She said, sadly.

I broke into a smile. "Oh, Ma! That's lovely! Of course I'll wear your veil…we'll just work something out with Ed's mother."

"Okay," She said, finally cracking a smile.

"But _please, please_ try and make the peace with her. I'd love for us to all get along. What does dad think about all of this?"

"Oh, he doesn't care," She chuckled, rolling her eyes. "He and Ed's father are suddenly best of friends, and don't care at all about any of it."

"Okay, so my veil is taken care of…what about the dress?" I asked, nervously anticipating the words "Carla's dress" to be spoken.

"Well…," My mother smiled at me and turned to Sandra. "Time to get the box."

Sandra walked over the curtained space under the sink and pulled out a large box. She lifted the lid on it, and lifted out a gorgeous long white dress with sequins sewed onto the ruffled waist, with long lace sleeves.

My mouth dropped open. "Is that…do I…can I wear that?"

"Well we made it for you, so I don't see why not," Sandra laughed.

"But it's so beautiful…how did you…you made this?" I asked, shocked. "How could you afford the material?"

"Oh we didn't really, we made it from old bits and pieces. Some people in the neighbourhood donated old bits and pieces, I used my wedding dress and Helen Heffron gave us hers. We took the bits we needed and made this," Ma said, proudly.

"You used your wedding dresses?" I asked. "Oh, I feel so bad. I didn't want anyone to give up their wedding dresses."

"Oh it's okay," Mom smiled. "Mine was out of style and Helen doesn't have any daughters. We thought you could use this one to pass down to your daughter, if you have one."

"It's so beautiful," I breathed, moving closer to inspect it. "Look at this detail!"

"Well I don't call myself "The Best Seamstress in South Philly" for no reason," She chuckled. "But you shouldn't thank us though, thank Carla."

"Carla?" I asked, shocked. "Why?"

"Well we couldn't afford to buy you a new one, so we thought we'd just ask her to lend us hers again. We went to ask her and she seemed insistent that you wouldn't like that, with the history, obviously. It was her suggestion."

I smiled. "That was nice of her."

………………..

I was stunned by Carla's thoughtfulness. Truth be told I'd expected that I'd have to wear her dress and I dreaded it. It was just wrong on so many reasons, for all four of us- Bill, Babe, Carla and myself. I felt I had to go and thank her personally. So, the next day I found myself walking up the gravel path to the Guarneres' front door.

_Knock knock_.

Opening the door, a bleary-eyed Bill appeared at the door. His eyes lit-up. "Fiona!"

"Hey Bill," I said, smiling as I kissed him on the cheek. "Is the Missus home?"

"No, she went out to her Mother's for the day," He said, wiping his eyes. "Want to come in for a minute?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said, worried it might be a bit inappropriate now.

"Come on, you have to meet the little guy," Bill smiled.

"Oh," I said, it all coming back to me that Carla had been pregnant. I guess I'd conveniently forgotten. Bill had a _son_. "Okay."

He led me inside into the sitting room.

"Here he is," Bill said, lifting the baby out of the crib and facing him towards me.

My heart melted. "Bill! He looks just like you! How adorable! Can I hold him?"

"Sure," He said, gently placing him in my arms.

"Oh, Bill," I gushed, sitting down on the couch, cradling the baby. "What's his name?"

"Henry," Bill said, proudly looking at his son.

"After your brother?"

"Yeah, my Ma liked it," He told me. "So how's Pittsburgh treating you? Obviously pretty well, you're glowing."

"It's going well," I said. "Life's going well in general."

"Yeah, I guess congratulations are in order," He said. "The Big Day soon, huh?"

"Thank you," I smiled. "It'll be good to see you and Carla there. How is she doing?"

"She's alright," He said, looking down, sadly.

"What?" I asked, concerned.

"Things haven't been going so well lately," He admitted, looking away. "We've been fighting and arguing a lot."

"I'm sorry, Bill," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Having a baby is difficult at first. It's a lot of added strain on a marriage...or so I hear, anyway."

"Don't get me wrong, kid, I love being a father and I love that little guy with all my heart but…I can't get over the fact that nothing's working out as it should. I just wish it could be…"

"Could be what?" I pressed.

"The way I wanted. I wish it was you and I had just had a kid," He admitted, quietly.

"Shut up! Don't say that!" I scolded him, though it tugged slightly at my heartstrings. "You can't say things like that, Bill. That is _Carla's_ baby, and it's disrespectful for you to wish otherwise. Besides, you're only saying it because you're having problems with Carla. You and I have gotten past all this, Bill."

"Have we? You don't sound convinced," He shot back. "Tell me honestly…does any part of you still love me?"

I looked away, floored. "Part of me will always love you Bill, you know that."

He smiled.

"But you're not the only man I love anymore, Bill," I said, bluntly. "I've got a chance to be happy with a man I truly love and _nothing_ is going to stop me from doing that, got it?"

He stared at me as I angrily stood up and set the baby back down gently in the crib. I put my hands on the crib bars, fuming.

"Sorry," He mumbled. "I didn't meant to upset you or nothin'."

"You say these things to me _two_ days before my Wedding and expect me not to get upset. What the hell are you trying to do? Ruin my Wedding?" I exploded. Angrily, I started to walk towards the door. "I'll see you at the Wedding."

"I don't think I can come to your Wedding," He said briskly, catching up to me at the door.

"What?" I asked curtly, turning back round to face him.

"How can I watch you marry someone else?" He asked simply.

I tried to remain as calm as possible, despite my blood boiling. "Again, Bill, I thought we'd gotten past this but obviously not. I'm gonna say this only once, alright? I'm marrying Babe in two days time, and when I say yes at that altar I'll be saying it sincerely. Now, I _really_ want you to be there. I think you _owe_ it to me to come."

Looking warningly into his eyes, I left. I'd have to thank Carla another day.

…………………….

The next evening, Babe and I headed to the train station in my Father's car to pick up Eugene and Vera at the train station. In the car, the previous day's events were spinning around in my head, making me sit in silence, simply staring out of the windows at the rolling streets.

"So…my mom is still going on and on about this head flower thing," He said, trying to fill the silence. "She was hoping you'd wear the one she wore when she married my dad."

"Mmm hmmm," I said, not really listening.

"I think it's because she doesn't have a daughter so she wants someone in the family to wear it," He said, letting out a chuckle.

"Of course I'll wear it," I said, staring out the window absent-mindedly, not even remembering I'd already promised to wear my mother's veil.

"It's up to you, Sweetie, but I know she'd b happy," He smiled, reaching over and squeezing my hand. "Are you okay, you seem a little preoccupied."

"I'm fine," I said, smiling at him as we drove into the station. "We're a little bit late, they might be there already."

Hurriedly, we walked into the station just as their train pulled in. We watched the crowd of people disembark in their droves, looking out for the Roes.

"There they are," Babe said, pointing over to a couple struggling to get a stroller, a Moses basket and a suitcase off of the train. "Hey, Eugene! Over here!"

Setting the Moses basket inside the stroller, they walked over to us.

"Hi!" I exclaimed, hugging them each. "It's so good to see you. We can't thank you enough for coming all the way out here to come to our Wedding."

"Are you kidding," Vera beamed. "We wouldn't miss it, Honey."

"And who is this lovely little thing," I said, crouching down to peer into the Basket. "Hello, Marlene."

"Adorable, huh?" Vera beamed, proudly. "A little angel all the way up here on the train, too."

"Good job, you two," I said, standing back up. "She's a cutie pie."

"Good to see you, Gene," Babe said, shaking his hand and picking up the suitcase. "Car's this way."

"So, the big day is tomorrow, huh?" Vera smiled at me as we walked behind the men to the car. "Nervous?"

"No," I smiled. "Of course not."

…………….

Babe dropped the Roes and myself off at my old apartment. Sandra and Duncan were now living there with baby Jane. It was nice for them to finally have a family home and it seemed pointless for it to be lying empty whilst I was in Pittsburgh.

Trudging all of the Roes' belongings behind us, we walked along the corridor to the front door. Ushering the Roes inside, I turned around to say goodnight to my husband-to-be.

He pouted. "I don't wanna sleep without you tonight, it'll be too weird."

"It's bad luck for you to see me before the wedding," I chuckled, kissing him. "I wish we could sleep next to each other too but hey, we have the whole rest of our lives to do that."

He smiled, pulling me close. "No cold feet?"

"mmmm…nope," I said, confidently.

"Not even a little nervous?" He pressed further, stroking my cheek.

"Nope. Not even a little bit," I said, adding on jokingly (ish). "But what's with all the questions, honey? Are _you_ having cold feet?"

"Not in the slightest," He laughed. "I guess I'm asking so many questions because I can't believe it's finally happening. I never thought you'd actually be my wife."

"Well, surprise," I laughed.

Smiling, he took both of my hands and kissed them. "The only thing I'm feeling right now is excitement. Excitement at getting you to the church, down that aisle and making you Mrs Heffron."

Pulling me into a hug, he kissed me goodbye and walked off, pumping his fist into the air. "Whoop! Mrs Heffron! Finally!"

I watched him leave, laughing happily.


	38. Chapter 38 Wedding Part 2

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

I woke up the next morning, feeling a tapping on my nose. Looking up drearily I saw that it was Sandra, sitting by the edge of my bed and tapping my nose.

"What are you doing?" I asked, snuggling back into my pillow.

"You're getting married today," She reminded me gently.

I sat bolt upright in bed and squealed. "Oh my God, I'm getting married today!"

"Calm down," She laughed, patting my shoulder. "You have a few more hours yet."

"Phew," I said, relaxing. "Wow, that was a deep sleep last night."

"Really?" She said, unconvinced. "I heard you tossing and turning all night. What was wrong? Nerves?"

"No, not nerves," I said, ready to spill the truth. "Bill said he might not come."

"What?!" She exclaimed. "But they RSVPed! Plus, he's the best man! How can he not show up?!"

I looked at her.

"Oh, right," She said, snapping out of it. "Why wouldn't he come?"

"I went round to visit Carla, but she wasn't in, it was just him and the baby. Anyway, he started telling me that they aren't getting on so well and then started talking about the way things were with us and how he missed it," I explained.

"That bast…bad man," She tutted. "So he said he isn't going to come?"

"He said he didn't think he could watch it," I said. "Am I wrong for thinking that he owes it to me to watch it?"

"Of course not," She said, kissing me forehead and standing up. "But if he comes he comes, he doesn't he doesn't. I'm sure he'll do the right thing, and if not, who cares? You're spending the rest of your life with the _right man_."

I chuckled. "I know Babe's the right man."

"Just wanted to stress that," She smiled. "Don't want you doing anything dramatic on your Wedding day! Now come on, your mom arrived at 7.30 a.m. this morning and she's bossing everyone around. Now, I love your mother and I'd never say this to her face but- if nobody knew Hitler died in Germany, they'd think he was sitting right out there in the sitting room in the form of you mother. Get your butt out there and help me!"

I laughed, tossing the covers to one side. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

………………

After a long soak in the tub, I emerged fresh-faced and ready to be beautified, if that's a word. I walked out to find Sandra arranging bouquets on the sofa, and my mother pacing up and down the room, scrutinising her To-Do list.

"Ok, I'm ready to be…," I said, but was interrupted by the sound of sharp knocking on the door.

"That'll be Helen Heffron here to do your hair," Sandra said, not looking up from what she was doing.

My mother literally "harrumphed" from the corner as I went to open to the door for her. "Be nice, Mother."

"Morning, Sweetheart," Helen greeted me with a big smile, holding up a bag. "Big day!"

"Come in, Helen," I said, kissing her on the cheek.

She walked inside, greeted Sandra warmly and looked at my Mother. "Moira."

"Helen," My mother replied curtly, nodding her head to acknowledge the new guest.

"O…kay," I said, trying to keep the mood upbeat. "So, Helen. What did you have in mind for my hair?"

"Curls," She smiled. "I thought I could have curls near the top of your head…so that the _floral headband_ could sit on the top of them."

"Now you just…," My mother started.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Sandra sat, interrupting my Mother and standing up, walking over to a drawer. "I hope no one minds, but I took the liberty of I had an idea about the headband/veil issue."

She opened the drawer and pulled out the artificial floral headband…that had my mother's veil attached to the back of it.

"Oh my God!" My mother exclaimed. "Is…is that permanent?"

"No, no," Sandra reassured her, demonstrating. "It's just clipped, see!"

"See now, isn't that nice?" I said, exaggeratedly. A knock came at the door. "Oh, that'll be James's mom."

…………………

Hair done, I slipped the dress over my head and slowly walked back into the sitting room.

"Well?" I asked.

"Lovely," Sandra said, smiling.

"Very beautiful, Sweetheart," My mother said, clapping her hands together.

"My son'll flip his lid," Helen said, smiling emotionally.

"Your father's outside with the car," James's mother said, looking out of the window. She turned to me. "Well kid, I always hoped you'd marry my James but, I think it's a very nice man you've chosen there."

"He's the best," Helen cried out, as we all shuffled out of the door.

……………………..

Outside the church, I stood nervously next to my father.

"Nervous?" My father asked. "That big church, all those people…"

"Trying to make me nervous, Daddy?" I joked.

He chuckled. "Of course not. It's good that you're not nervous. You know you're doing the right thing when you don't feel nervous about it."

"When you married Mom did you know you were doing the right thing?" I asked, curiously.

"Oh, yes. I marched into that church like a regimental soldier," He said, reminiscing fondly.

Suddenly strains of music flowed out from the church.

"Ready, kiddo?" He asked.

"Ready, daddy," I said, confidently.

The doors opened and I stared down the length of the church. Left-foot forward, we began walking down, past all the faces of my family and friends. Approaching the altar, my mouth broke into the largest smile ever…to see the men I loved standing at the end of the altar. Bill stood in his rightful place next to Babe, just the way I'd hoped he would.

"Thank you," I whispered to him as I walked past.

"knock em dead, kid," He whispered, smiling back at me.

Kissing my father on the cheek, I let go of his arm and stood next to my future husband. The man I'd promise to love together. We smiled at each other, before taking a deep breath and turning towards the Priest.

………………….

The ceremony passed quickly in a haze for me, and before I knew it I was in the Church Hall at the reception, watching everyone guzzle down champagne and canapés. Escaping from the dance floor, where family members had been pinning me down to dance with them every time I tried to leave, I managed to make my way over to the champagne table.

"So, Mrs Heffron, was I right or was I right?" A voice sounded out behind me. I recognised it instantly.

"Why whatever do you mean, Mr Luz?" I joked, turning around.

"About you and Babe," He laughed. "I _knew_ it would happen. Didn't I tell you he was a ten?"

"Yes, you did," I laughed, jokingly. "The All-Seeing, All-Knowing George Luz, ladies and gentlemen!"

He laughed. "It's a victory I'll cherish."

"So, Luz, are you enjoying the party?" I asked.

"Yeah although, is it me or does everyone suddenly have a kid?" He asked.

"Yup," I laughed. "I've been introduced to so many babies tonight, I can hardly remember their names."

"It'll be your turn next," He smirked at me.

"Say what?" I giggled.

"Heff'll see to it that you're squirting out the kiddies next," He laughed crudely.

"George!" I laughed at his bluntness. "Me? A Mommy? Scary, huh?"

"Not really, I think you'll be a good Mom," He smiled genuinely.

"You do?" I gushed.

"Of course. You took care of us over there and we're alright," He laughed. "How hard can it be with a kid?"

"You'd be surprised," A voice came from behind us. I turned round to see Bill, standing with his hands in his pockets. "Good to see ya again, Luz."

"Hey Bill," Luz shook his hand. "Congratulations on the little one, she's a real looker."

"_He_, Luz…_he_," I whispered.

"Mind if I borrow the bride for a dance?" Bill asked, offering out a hand.

"The Bride would be honoured," I smiled, letting him lead me out onto the dance floor.

"You look a million bucks in that dress, kid," He said as we began to sway to the music.

I beamed. "Well, actually, I ripped it a little during the first dance. I don't know if that knocks anything off of the value…"

"Well," He laughed. "You look at least $999,999.99…and no, I'll never be able to say that number correctly again."

I laughed, enjoying the witty repartee I'd previously enjoyed with the _old_ Bill. "Thanks for coming."

"You kiddin me? Was the least I could do after the way I behaved the other day," He said, embarrassed.

"Bill…"

He cut me off. "I was just tired and so happy to see you again after all that time. I'd heard all about the engagement but I guess it wasn't until I saw you that it really sunk in. I didn't realise how hard it was gonna be to see the woman I love marry someone else."

"Bill, I _know_ how that feels," I said, pointedly. "I understand."

"Guess I had it comin then, huh?" He laughed uneasily.

"It's not like that," I said. "It's not about scoring points. It just is what it is, we don't have a say in anything. But what you _do_ have, is a beautiful little boy and a wife who loves you so much. You know how I feel about you, Bill, but apparently we're not meant to be together. But, we've been given two amazing partners. I'm going to love Babe with all my heart, and you should do the same with Carla."

"I will," He whispered in my ear. "I promise."

"So you're happy for me?" I asked.

"I'm…," He pondered. "I'm…contented in the fact that you'll be well taken care of, since I can't do it."

"I'll take it," I smiled.

………………………………

"Hello there, Stranger," I smiled, sitting next down to Carla, who was cradling baby Henry in her arms.

"Hi!" She said, kissing me on the cheek. "Great party. Sorry I haven't had a chance to come over and say hi, but I've sort of had my hands full with the little man here. You haven't met little Henry yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't," I lied. There was no reason for her to know. "Hello there."

"Say hello, Henry," She purred to her baby.

I smiled at how besotted she was with her baby. "He's beautiful, Carla. He's the spitting image of Bill."

"Isn't he just," She gushed.

"Listen, Carla, I just wanted to thank you for the wedding dress idea," I told her.

"Oh, don't even worry about it, it was my pleasure," She reassured me. "I didn't really do anything. Your mom asked me if you could wear my wedding dress and of course I had to step in. How could I let you get married in the dress I wore to marry the man you once…you…well, you know….sorry."

"It's okay Carla," I smiled awkwardly, looking down at the ground. "You're right. That dress is about you and Bill. I needed memories of my own."

"See, that's exactly what I thought," She cried, smiling from ear to ear.

There was an awkward silence. We'd said all we had to say. Luckily this is the moment that Babe chose to step in.

"Hey there, Carla," He said. "Little Henry, too. Mind if I borrow my wife for a dance?"

"Not at all," She smiled, immersing herself in cooing at Henry.

Babe and I walked to the dance floor, and I wrapped my arms around my new husband as we began to sway in time to the music.

"You know, Sweetie, it's _our _wedding and I've hardly seen you all night," He laughed as we swayed.

"It's all the relatives," I said. "Although I may not have spent any time with you, I have met several of your aunts and uncles."

"Probably more than I've actually met anyway," He chuckled. "Big family."

"I noticed," I laughed, move closer into arms and purring in his ear. "Thanks for marrying me."

"It takes two to tango. Thank _you_ for marrying me!" He whispered back. "Is it me, or does everyone have a baby?"

I laughed. "It's been noticed, yes. George was asking when you and I were going to start _squirting_ out kids."

"Hmm, well," He joked. "How soon can we get out of here, Mrs Heffron?"

"One step at a time, Soldier," I laughed.

He winked at me. "So…I think we need to cement this marriage, and I think you know what I mean?"

"Oh," I said, blushing. "Well later, obviously, of course."

"_That's_ not what I mean, although later of course," He chuckled. "I mean the other thing."

"What thing?" I asked, confused and then opened my eyes as I realised what he meant. "No, not in front of all these people."

"Sorry, honey, I have to. Every marriage should end with a Hollywood kiss," He said, dipping me backwards and planting a kiss on my lips. The room erupted into applause and wolf whistles.

……………….

The next morning the sun shone through the window, so bright that it woke me from my sleep. Rolling over, I looked at the sleeping Babe. My new husband. He opened his eyes to look at me, giving me a bashful smile.

"Morning Mrs Heffron," He said, groggily.

"Good Morning yourself, _Mr Heffron_," I whispered, stroking his cheek.

"That was some night," He said, stretching and yawning. "Any chance of a repeat performance?"

"_Again_?" I asked, shocked. I laughed, adding jokingly. "_What stamina you have, Mr Heffron_."

"Well you should be used to it by now," He joked, leaning in to kiss me. "But it's okay, because we're not _living in sin_ anymore."

I laughed as he wrapped his arms around me, deepening his kisses.

_Knock knock_

"Ignore it," He whispered between kisses. "I didn't hear anything if you didn't."

_Knock knock._

"If we answer it they'll go away faster," I groaned, throwing on my robe and walking over to the door. I opened it to find a man in a Chauffeur Uniform. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here for a pickup," He said, looking at his clipboard. "A Mr. and Mrs Heffron, to be taken to the Honeymoon Suite at the Philadelphia Excelsior?"

"I, uh," I scratched my head, confused. "We didn't make any such arrangement."

"Compliments of a Mr. William Guarnere," He said, indicating to his clipboard."

I clapped my hands over my mouth. "What?! How…how could he ever afford this?"

"I guess he had a little windfall," The Chauffeur said, winking. "Plus he got some of it for free…I'm his brother."

A massive smile spread over my face. "I can't believe it."

"I'll wait in the car, take your time," He said, dipping his hat at me and walking off.

Dumbfounded, I closed the door and ran back to the bedroom. "Babe!"


	39. Chapter 39 Nine Months

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

_**THREE MONTHS LATER**_

A mere three months later into my marriage, I found myself back in South Philly with Babe for my parents' 30th Surprise Wedding Anniversary Party. It was a surprise because, what with all of the weddings and travelling, they didn't have a lot of money left for a party, so Babe, Sandra, Duncan and I chipped in together to arrange a surprise party for them, inviting all of their friends and neighbours.

"I can never do these things," Babe sighed, fiddling with his tie.

"I noticed," I laughed, rolling my eyes into the mirror as I pinned my hair up. "Sweetie, I've explained this to you a hundred time. Loop it round!"

"I can't do it," He said, throwing it onto the dresser in exasperation.

"Give it to me," I said, sitting in front of him on the bed and wrapping it round his neck. "It's quite simple when you know how."

"And where did you get this _know how_?" He asked, pushing a loose tendril of hair behind my ear.

"I used to do it for my brothers," I smiled. "…and a few of the Easy fellas."

"Wow, if I'd have known that I woulda gotten myself a piece of that," He joked.

"Well, Babe, all you had to do was…oww," I moaned, putting my hand to my stomach.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, it's just my stomach…I feel a little queasy," I said, putting a hand to my mouth.

"Something you ate on the train?" He asked, concerned.

"No, I've had it for a few days now," I said, trying to perk up. "Comes and goes."

"Maybe we shouldn't go," He said, stroking my cheek as he studied my face. "You _do_ look a bit peaky."

"No, it's okay. I'll be fine. Besides, we _have_ to go, it's their anniversary," I reasoned, climbing off the bed and extending my hand to him. "Come on, let's go."

………………..

After surprising my parents (although I think they had a sneaky idea, what with Babe and I randomly showing up a day or so before in Philly again), the party was in full swing, but I couldn't enjoy it. I was still feeling quite queasy. I sat in the corner, in the dark and as far away from the music as possible, nursing a glass of water on the rocks.

"Fabulous party, Honey," Helen Heffron appeared besides me, tipsy and waving a glass of wine around manically. "Oh my, everything's spinning. Mind if I sit a spell?"

"No, on you go," I smiled at my mother-in-law, patting the seat next to me.

"Thanks," She said, collapsing into the seat. "Where's that son of mine?"

"Dancing with my mother," I said, pointing over to the dance floor.

"Hmmm," She said, her voice dripping with disdain.

"Helen," I chuckled. "When are you going to make it up with my Mother?"

"We get along," She said, unconvincingly.

"All due respect, but no you don't," I said, letting out a little laugh. "You haven't gotten along since our Wedding."

"Well, it is what it is," She said, defensively.

"And what is it?" I probed.

"It's…," She said, stopping for a sip of wine.

"It's that you're both ladies who are very proud of their families. Matriarchs, if you will," I laughed, supplying the answer.

"That's it exactly," She said, drunkenly.

"You two should make up. You were such good friends before," I reasoned.

"Weren't we?" She said, emotionally.

"In fact…I would go as far as to say that, together, you could be an utterly unstoppable force," I laughed.

She burst out laughing and held out her glass to me. "I like you, kid. You're funny. Here, have a sip."

My stomach lurched at the thought, making me nauseous all over. "No thanks."

"Hey you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine," I said, putting on a smile.

"Hey Ma," Babe said, bounding over. "You love this song, wanna dance?"

"Sure son," She smiled, standing up. "Let's show your father how it's done."

Babe looked at me. "Okay Ma, I'll get you out there on the floor in a second."

"Okay," She chirped, dancing off.

"Feeling better?" He asked, crouching down to look at me, stroking my knee.

"Not really," I said, yawning.

"You wanna get out of here after this song?" He asked.

"No it's okay, let's stick around a bit longer for my mom," I said, weakly.

"Okay Sweetie, but crack a smile if you can," He said, sympathetically. "She's worried about you."

I smile an over-exaggerated grin.

"There's my girl," He said, laughing, kissing me on the forehead as he went to dance with Helen.

Alone again, I sipped my water, closing my eyes and leaning back in my chair.

"Someone's ready for a bed," Carla's all-too-familiar voice rang out.

"Hi Carla," I said, forcing my eyes open and a smile on my lips.

"Happy to be home for a while?" She asked cheerfully, sitting next to me.

"Yes," I said, not wanting to be rude but not in the mood for making polite conversation.

"How's married life going?" She said, questioning me further.

"Going well, thanks," I said, pinching the top of my nose below my eyes, my stomach lurching violently at that point.

"Are you okay?" She asked, furrowing her brow.

My stomach hurtled and the blood rushed to my head. I put my hand to my mouth as if to block out the inevitable. "Carla…I'm gonna be sick!"

"O…kay," She said, panicking, standing me up. "Come with me."

She rushed me to the ladies room, ushering me into a cubicle where I vomited so much I felt as if my body was trying to free me of some internal organs.

"All done?" She asked tentatively. Hearing the response of more sickness, she called out to me again. "Okay, take your time."

When I finally felt done, I pulled the chain, lingering for a second before leaving the cubicle sheepishly.

"All better?" She asked, handing me some paper towels.

I nodded, wiping my face and leaning weakly against the ceramic sink.

"Food poisoning?" She asked, turning to face me.

I shook my head, staring blankly into the mirror as I wiped water onto my face.

She crossed her arms, pondering. "Had this for a while?"

I nodded.

Her eyes widened a little as she blinked. "Have you had your monthly…?"

"No," I said, cutting her off. I knew what she was getting off and I already knew what the answer was.

"So you're…," She said, shifting her weight awkwardly. "You're…"

"Yes, Carla," I said, looking into the mirror. "I'm pregnant."

She was silent for a moment. "Well…this is quite a role reversal from New York, huh?"

I laughed. "Yeah. Yeah it is."

"I promise not to run from the bathroom in horror," She said jokingly but pointedly.

I smiled.

She paused awkwardly for a few more seconds. It was good news but we both knew we weren't close enough to be celebrating the news together. "So…congratulations."

"…thanks,"

"Does Babe know?" She asked.

"Not yet," I said quietly, looking at the ground, tracing the tile lines with my shoe.

"He'll hit the roof with happiness," She said simply.

"You're right," I said, looking over and catching her eye. We shared a little laugh together.

…………………….

_**ONE WEEK LATER**_- _**PITTSBURGH**_

"Come on, Babe!" I shouted from the stands, watching as he stepped up to the plate. "Show 'em who's boss!"

I was watching him and some of the other fellas from the precinct take on the Pittsburgh Fire Department in their annual baseball game.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, prompting me to turn round. Two women were smiling at me, one mid-40s and the other one seemed just a few years older than myself.

"Hi there," The younger one said, pointing at Babe. "Are you his wife?"

"Yes," I said, smiling. "I'm Fiona."

"Alice," She said, shaking my hand and indicating to the older woman. "This is Martha."

"Martha Palmeri," She said, holding out her hand to me.

"Oh, you're married to Babe's…I mean, Edward's boss?" I asked, shaking her hand. She nodded.

"I'm Jimmy O'Malley's wife," Alice told me. "I think our husbands are partners on the force."

"Yeah, Ed's mentioned Jimmy," I said, smiling at them.

"So are you enjoying Pittsburgh?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, it's nice," I smiled. "Nice way of life here. I miss Philly sometimes, though."

"That's normal," Alice smiled sympathetically. "It takes a while to get settled. I'm actually from Minneapolis myself, but I came here when I married Jimmy. Now we have two little ones and I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"I have to say," Martha said, honestly. "You seem a lot calmer than a lot of the younger wives with husbands on the force."

"What do you mean?" I asked, curiously.

"Just because it's a dangerous job," She explained further. "No one wants to be a widow at such a young age."

What she was saying suddenly rung true in my head. I'd never even thought about it like that before. I shrugged, worriedly. "I…I guess I never really thought about it before. I guess…I always thought that since he made it through the war…"

"I could tell," Martha said, nodding. "Well, that and my husband told me. I wouldn't worry, dear, he looks like a strong one."

"He is," I said smiling, not feeling so convinced on the inside.

……………

After Police Department's narrow loss, everyone emptied the stands and made their way over to the buffet. I remained in the stands, lost in thought and with no desire to move my ass off of the seat.

"So close, huh?" He said, referring to the game, as Babe climbed the rows to sit next to me.

"Yeah," I said, snapping back to reality. "Bad luck."

He nodded. "You don't want anything from the buffet before it's all gone?"

"In a minute," I said, absent-mindedly staring into space.

"Hey, anyone there?" He joked, snapping his fingers at me. "What are you thinking about?"

I looked at him. "You're careful, right?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"With your job," I explained. "You're careful, right? You wouldn't do anything stupid, right?"

"Well, of course not," He said, cracking a smile. "I'm not looking to get myself killed if that's what you mean."

"Because…I couldn't bear it if I lost you," I said, my eyes welling up (pregnancy hormones!).

"Hey, hey," He said, putting an arm around me. "You won't lose me. Not ever."

"Good," I sniffled, deciding it was time. "Because…we're gonna really need you now."

"We?" He asked.

I smiled.

"What do you mean _we_?" He asked, hesitantly.

"I'm pregnant," I said, my face erupting into a smile.

He put his hands to his face, dumbfounded for a moment. "Say that again."

"I'm pregnant," I repeated, waiting to gage his reaction.

Suddenly he lunged forward and pulled me into a kiss then sprang up out of his seat, whooping. "Woohoo!!"

"…we lost, Jackass," One of his team mates nearby said dryly.

"I'm gonna be a father!" He ran down the stand and shouted to everyone eating the buffet. A round of applause erupted. I laughed from the stand.

"Hey Chief," Babe said, running over to his boss. "I'm gonna be a father!"

"Congratulations, Son," His boss said affectionately, reaching over and grabbing the bottle of Victory Champagne from the boss of the Fire Department. "Gimme that!"

"Hey!" The Fire Chief responded, making a grab to reclaim his bottle, which Babe's boss had handed to Babe to toast the news.

……………………

_**ONE MONTH LATER**_

Babe and I decided to keep the news to ourselves (and out Pittsburgh friends and colleagues of course), until we could go back to Philly and break the news to our parents face-to-face. It was going to be hard one weekend though, when Sandra and Duncan paid us a surprise visit with baby Jane in tow.

"Should we tell them?" I asked Babe as we lay in bed the morning after their arrival.

"It's up to you," He said. "Do you want your mom to know first."

"I'm not sure," I said, putting a hand to my stomach. "I mean, I'm only two and a half months, it's not very obvious yet."

"They probably won't suspect anything if we don't say anything," He reasoned, putting his hand over mine.

"Okay," I said, climbing out of bed. "I'd better go get breakfast started."

Walking downstairs, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Sandra sitting at the table, feeding Baby Jane. She looked up when I came in.

"Sorry," She said. "I thought I'd come down early and get her fed before she screamed the whole house down and woke you up."

"Don't worry about it," I said, busying myself in making coffee for everyone.

"I'll help with that in a minute," She said suspiciously, patting the wooden chair next to hers. "Come have a seat and we'll catch up."

"O…kay," I said, sitting cautiously down next to her. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I'm pregnant again," She said, smiling at me.

My eyes lit up as I hugged her. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, we're really excited," She smiled. "So is your mom. Grandchild number two."

I let my guard down a little, getting all emotional. "That means our kids…"

"What?" She asked sharply.

"Nothing," I said, trying to act casual. "I forgot what I was going to say.

"No you didn't," She said firmly. "Finish that sentence!"

"I…," I stuttered, slightly alarmed by her tone. I couldn't lie to her. "I'm pregnant too."

"I know you are," She said, smiling knowingly. "I found out from Carla. Had to prise it from her like bubblegum under a coffee table…but I crack her in the end. Shame on you for not telling me!"

"I'm sorry," I laughed apologetically. "I didn't mean for Carla to be the first to know it was an accident, and we wanted to wait until we could come back to Philly so that we could tell everyone to their faces."

"It's okay," She laughed, hugging me. "I'm so excited. The two of us pregnant together!"

"I know!" I said, beaming. "Just so you know, you're gonna have to walk me through this. I'm gonna have a _lot_ of questions."

"Ask away whenever you like," She laughed, then her eyes lit up as she remembered. "Oh my God, I forgot to tell you! Carla's pregnant again too!"

"She is?" I asked, my stomach feeling a little funny for a second as I thought about Carla and Bill having sex.

"Yeah," Sandra said, shifting the baby in her arms. "Happened just after your mom's birthday funnily enough. Best I can figure is Bill found out from her that you were pregnant and decided that the best way he could _be a good husband_ as you asked of him was to knock her up again. Maybe they'll eventually have a football team."

"Sandra!" I exclaimed, shocked at her crudeness.

"Sorry," She said, blushing. "It's the hormones."

……………………….

_**FIVE MONTHS LATER**_

Huge and officially on maternity leave from work as a result, I found myself with a lot of spare time on my hands, making me a bit down as I had nothing to do. One Tuesday, I found myself travelling down to the precinct to meet Babe after his shift so that we could go for dinner in a restaurant. A proper night out, he said, to cheer me up. Walking in, I realised the true extent of my size when I noticed people moving aside as I walked through, like Moses walking through the Red Sea. I walked up the front desk, where we'd arranged to meet. I recognised the man on the front desk, Frank Verrachia. Babe had mentioned him a few times.

"Evening Frank," I said, offering him a smile as I leaned against the desk, taking the weight off of my feet.

"Hey Fiona, how's it going?" he asked, sorting through some papers.

"Not too bad," I replied. "Yourself?"

"Can't complain," He said, looking up at me suddenly. "Oh, so congratulations!"

"Thanks, Frank," I smiled, patting my pregnant belly. "Although, I kinda would thought that you'd have already known by now."

"What? Oh no, I didn't mean that. _Of course_ I know about that, it's all Ed talks about. I meant congratulations on the…"

He stopped, realising I had no idea what he was talking about.

"On the what?" I probed.

"Nothin," He said, insistently. "I didn't say anything. You heard nothing from me. Ed can tell you, and look here he comes now!"

"Hey, Sweetie," Babe said, walking over and kissing me on the lips as he put on his cheek.

"What do you have to tell me?" I asked straightaway.

"What?" He asked, looking over at Frank, who just whistled and looked away.

"Frank said you had to tell me something," I said, curiously.

"Did he know?" Babe said, drawing daggers at his colleague. "Thanks a lot, buddy! Come on, Sweetie, I'll show you on the way."

He led me out to the parking lot, with me still probing him all of the way.

"Where are you going?" I asked for the 100th time as we drove.

"Calm down," He laughed. "We'll get there."

Looking at a street sign, I noticed we were driving into the Beltzhoover neighbourhood and into a street of beautiful wooden and slate houses with large porches wrapping the full length around around them.

"Wow, pretty," I whispered as the car crawled slowly along.

"What do you think of _that_ one?" He asked, stopping outside and pointing.

I looked over at where his finger pointed to see a two-storey white-coloured house with white windows and a large white door. I could see a large garden at the back of it.

"It's beautiful," I said, nodding. "Very nice."

"I'm glad you think so," Babe smiled. "Because I just put a down payment on it."

I froze. "What?"

"It's ours…," He said, smiling meekly.

"Oh my God!" I squealed, hugging him, but I pulled back. "Wait, can we afford this?"

"Yeah," He nodded. "The savings account we had to buy a house was growing pretty large and I got a really good deal on the house. It needs some work to it, that's why, I think. But I can do everything it needs to make it perfect for us."

"Wow," I smiled, cuddling into his chest as I looked at our new home. "We could paint the door and windows red."

"If that's what you want," He smiled, kissing my cheek. "Anything to make a comfortable little nest for our family."

"It's a very comfortable nest," I smiled enthusiastically. "…a comfortable nest with a huge garden and a wraparound porch!"

…………………..

_**ONE MONTH LATER**_

Pouring lemonade into glasses, I placed them all individually onto a tray. We'd started the work on our house. Well, I say _we_, I was becoming massively pregnant, so more or less just Babe. But I _did_ watch and offer constructive criticism- funnily enough not everyone appreciates that! I had to admit that I'd wondered how on earth he was going to do this whole house by himself. Turns out his plan had been to rope in some of his buddies on the force, which is why that day I found myself with at least a dozen off-duty officers milling around, with paintbrushes and screwdrivers in their hands. I wondered how he'd managed to persuade them all to do this on their day off- I hoped that they were doing it out of the goodness of their hearts and that Babe wasn't paying them. No way could we afford that! Picking up the tray of lemonade, I walked through the house.

"Lemonade?" I asked one of the officers fixing a lighting fixture.

"Yeah, thanks," He said, climbing down his stepladder and taking a glass and motioning at my stomach. "Not long to go now, huh?"

"Just over a month or so," I smiled, continuing my walk down the hallway.

"Hey, what do you got there?" Jimmy O'Malley, Babe's partner, stopped me.

"Lemonade," I said, holding out the tray. "Want one?"

"Yes, please," He said eagerly, reaching for a glass. "I'm parched."

"How's Alice?" I asked as he drank. "And the kids?"

"They're fine," He said. "Not here this week, though. Alice has taken them to Minneapolis to visit her parents."

I smiled at him as I continued around the house, passing out lemonade to all of the hard workers. Walking upstairs, I found Babe in overalls walking out of one of the back rooms.

"Hi, Sweetie," I said, walking over to him. "Working hard?"

"Making good progress," He said, spying my tray with one glass left. "Ooh, lemonade."

"Here you go," I said, handing it to him and putting the empty tray down and leaning against the banister. "Sweetie, how did you get all of these police officers to do this?"

He laughed as he scratched his chin, jokingly. "_Well_, either they're just really nice guys or that reputation of mine is more powerful than I thought."

"It has it's benefits then," I winked at him, leaning in for a kiss. I looked at the door he'd just come out of. "What were you doing in there?"

"Just something I was working on," He smiled, coyly.

"Can I see?" I asked sweetly, pursing my lips.

"Okay, wear me down," He laughed, kissing me.

He led me over to the door and opened it slowly. There were coloured stripes on the wall in one corner and scribbled writing in various places.

"What's this?" I asked, curiously.

"Working on the baby's room," He said, moving into the room further.

"Oh, really?" I gushed, clapping my hands together. "What did you have planned, then?"

"Well," He started, leading me over to the coloured stripes. "I started with the colour. Pink if it's a girl, or blue if it's a boy. Obviously I can leave that until last because we don't know the sex yet. Or, I tried this yellow, in case you wanted to do it now?"

"Let's wait," I smiled, pointing at the scribblings. "What are those?"

"Oh, this is just where I had ideas to put the furniture," He said. "Like, we could put the crib here and the changing table over there. Maybe a rocking chair, too."

"Very nice,"

"So you like it? I picked this room because I thought the view was really pretty," He rambled, leading me over to the window.

"I like it a lot," I smiled as he pulled me into his arms. "In fact, it's perfect."

……………..

_**ONE AND A HALF MONTHS LATER**_

Over a week overdue. I was huge, uncomfortable and couldn't wait to give birth, if just to stop the pain. I came home one night from the nightly walk that I forced myself to do just to keep up some exercise.

"Babe!" I called out, shutting the front door behind me.

"In the kitchen!" He called back.

I walked in to find him stirring something around in a pot.

"Good walk?" He asked, looking up.

"Yeah," I said, flopping onto a wooden chair, glumly. "People keep looking at me, though. It's because I'm so big. They must think I'm such a whale!"

He chuckled, adding pepper. "No they won't. They'll think you're a glowing pregnant woman!"

"Hmm, I don't think so," I insisted. "I look like a whale. Every time I walk down the street I keep thinking someone is going to harpoon me!"

He burst out laughing. "Aww, Sweetie. Why don't you go on upstairs. I drew you a hot bath while you were out."

"Thanks, darling," I said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before trudging upstairs, relishing the thought of a hot bath. Disrobing slowly, I put one foot into, testing the water. Suddenly a whooshing feeling went through me.

"Ow," I said, worriedly, looking down and raising my eyes at the puddle of water on the floor. It was time. "Babe! Call the midwife!"

……………….

Unable to make it downstairs, I found myself on my bed, legs akimbo with the midwife fussing over me and Babe at my side. Pain racked through my body with every contraction. Sandra really hadn't stressed to me enough how much this was going to hurt.

"Ow! Oh my God this hurts!" I screamed out, squeezing Babe's hand as he stroked my sweat-covered face.

"Okay, I think it's time," The midwife said, looking over at Babe. "Would you like to leave the room, Sir?"

"No!" I insisted, looking pleadingly at me. "Please don't leave me."

He sat back down next to me firmly.

"Okay," The midwife said, getting herself into position. "Ready to push?"

"No," I admitted, sobbing.

"Well I'm sorry, but you don't have a choice. This baby wants to come out now," She smiled. "Come on, let's give it a try. One big push, come on now."

Using every bit of force I had, I pushed as hard as I could. Turns out she lied about _one_ big push, and I found myself pushing over and over, harder every time until…finally…the sound of cries pierced the air. Amid tears and sweat, I looked down to see the midwife handling a small baby in blankets.

"You have a son," She smiled at us. "Congratulations."

"Can I see him?" I asked weakly.

"Uh…not yet," She said, passing the baby quickly to Babe and looking back at my downstairs area. "Did you know there were going to be two?"

"What?" Babe and I asked in unison.

"We're not done down here," The midwife said, getting back into position. "Another one on the way?"

"What?" I asked, too weak to process this and certainly too weak to push anymore.

"We've got two, Sweetie," Babe said, his voice cracking with emotion as he cradled his son.

"You have to get ready to push again," The midwife said, urgently.

"No, I can't" I said, sobbing. "I can't."

"You have to," She insisted.

"Come on, honey, one last time," Babe said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "For our family!"

Sobbing with pain, I found the might somewhere inside to push again and as another contraction racked through my body I bore down as hard as possible.

"Okay, we have the head," The midwife smiled. "One last time. Let's go."

Pushing again, I smiled happily as the second set of wails filled the air. I fell back onto my pillow, exhausted and soaking. The midwife bundled up the new arrival, cut the chord and brought her over to me.

"Would you like to meet your daughter?" She asked, placing the bundle in my arms.

"Daughter?" I sobbed happily. "Babe, we have one of each!"

"Yes, we do," He said, fighting back the tears too as he put our son into my other arm as well.

I cradled my son and my daughter in my arms, with Babe at my side, cooing over them.

"Look at those little fingers," I sniffled, smiling.

"Do we have any names?" The midwife asked, wiping her hands on a towel.

I looked at Babe. "Well, we planned names for a boy and a girl because we didn't know what we were having."

"So who am I saying hello to then?" She asked, smiling.

"Finlay and Orla," I said, smiling down at them.

"Beautiful," She said, walking over to the door. "I'll give you some time alone. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

"I can't believe it," Babe said, shaking his head unbelievingly.

"I know," I laughed, looking over at him. "So…did you plan space for a second crib in your room plan?"

He laughed, leaned over and kissed me.


	40. Chapter 40 Raising the Children of Easy

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

NOTE- sorry this chapter took so long to get up! I've had to work a few more shifts recently and it's harder to think out these chapters these days because I have all of these ideas, lol! I'm going to be flashing into the future like crazy in these next chapters, so that's why it might seem like I'm rushing the story. But it would just take too long if I went slowly . Hope you enjoy!

……………….

_**THREE WEEKS LATER**_

One morning, I slept soundly in the rocking chair in the nursery, stealing a rare moment when I could rest assured that they were peacefully sleeping in their cribs. Deep in a dream that transported me back to Europe, I awoke suddenly with the feeling of something being placed over me. I looked up to see Babe, home from the Night Shift at work, grinning at me sheepishly and holding a blanket in his hands.

"Sorry, you used to be a heavier sleeper," He whispered, sympathetically.

"_Used_ to be," I smiled, amused.

"They sleep through the night?" He asked, peering into the cribs at the sleeping babies.

"About 45 minutes more than last night," I yawned.

"You look exhausted, Sweetie," He said, frowning.

I smiled and looked at him mischievously. "I'm more hungry than anything else."

"Well," He said, smiling and extending a hand to me, helping me to my feet. "Let's see what we can do about that. May I propose the idea of pancakes?"

"Hmm," I said thoughtfully, playing along as we walked down the stairs. "I'm listening, would you care to elaborate for me?"

"Big fluffy ones, with butter and syrup," He replied.

"Mmmm, sounds good," I said as we walked into the kitchen.

Babe set about making the pancakes as I sifted through the mail he'd collected and placed on the countertop. Gas Bill, Water Bill, hello. Something caught my attention. I opened it to find an invitation.

"Sweetie, did you know about this?" I asked, showing him.

"What is it?" He asked, mixing batter.

"An invitation the _Mommy Club_, a club for women with husband on the force and their children. Introduction meeting one week from today," I said, reading aloud.

"Oh yeah," He said, absent-mindedly. "I remember Jimmy saying something about that, his wife's idea I think."

"Oh," I said, putting the invitation back down on the table.

"You should go," He said, heating up the frying pan.

"I don't know," I said, stretching. "They're still so young."

"They're old enough," He laughed, looking over at me. "Besides, it'd do you good to get out and meet some of the other mommies. You've had a lot of one-on-one time with the babies and me recently."

"I suppose you're right," I said, leaning against the counter, joking. "I guess it would be good for me to actually talk to some _grownups_ for a change."

"Hey," He said, pretending to be offended, placing a steaming plate in front of me. "There you go- The Mommy Order."

"Yum," I said, reaching for a fork.

He looked over at the kitchen clock and raised his eyes wide open. "Oh, I gotta go?"

"What? Where?" I asked, confused.

"Uh, work thing," He said, reaching for his coat and running from the house. I stared after him, confused.

……………….

The next morning I awoke to find Babe sleeping soundly next to me. I wondered when he'd come home from his "work thing", as when I'd gone to bed the night before, it had been alone. I'd ask him later, I decided, as I threw on my robe and went to check on the babies.

"Morning, Sunshine!" I purred into the crib at Orla. Gurgling, she smiled back at me. I moved over to Finlay's crib to find him wriggling uncomfortably on his back before he began wailing. I picked up. "What's wrong little guy? You hungry?"

I jiggled him around in my arms, but he continued to cry, setting Orla off as well.

"Hey, who's screamin in here?" Babe appeared at the door, chuckling. "Does someone need his Daddy?"

"Go say hi to Daddy, Finlay," I said, handing him over to Babe and picking up Orla.

"Hey Buddy," Babe cooed at Finlay, making funny faces at him.

"There there, Sweetie," I hugged Orla.

"So you're going out this morning?" Babe asked.

"I wasn't going to, but the other teachers asked me to bring the babies in today so they could see them," I told him, shifting Orla in my arms. "I thought it was a little strange today, the first day of the new semester but they seemed insistent."

"You should go," He said, firmly. "It uh…it'd be good for you to see them again."

"I guess," I said. He was acting strange. "What was your work thing yesterday?"

"Just…something down at the precinct," He said, shiftily.

"Oh, I see," I said, furrowing my brow. "Well, do you want to come into the school today with me?"

"Oh, sorry honey but I can't. I have to get back down to the precinct." He tried to change the subject. "How about I make you a nice big breakfast before you head out?"

………………

After a rushed breakfast, Babe seemed to usher me out of the house as quickly as possible. Confused, I took the babies to the high school, where they were cooed and purred at by all of the staff and some of the students. It was strange to be back at school without working there, but I still had a few months of maternity leave left. Afterwards, I found myself with nothing else to do and so headed back home with my brood. Pushing the stroller up the driveway, I noticed the car was still there. I thought he'd had to go to the precinct. Suddenly, he pulled the door open and ran out to meet me.

"What's going on?" I asked, noticing he seemed all flustered.

"Nothing, I'm fine," He said, putting on a smile.

"Can you help me with the babies?" I asked, unstrapping them from the stroller.

"Hey no, don't worry I'll get them," He said, taking the handles of the stroller. "Can you run inside a second, I think I can hear the telephone."

"I don't hear it," I said, listening.

"Check," He said, smiling mischievously.

Looking back at him strangely, I walked up the stairs and into the front door. Suddenly a stream of confetti went up into the air and at least a hundred people jumped out, screaming "SURPRISE!". I jumped back, shocked. I looked at all of the faces staring back at me: my mom; my dad; the Heffrons; Doug; Carla; Bill and most of the rest of Easy Company.

"Oh My God," I smiled. "What is this? Why are you all here?"

Perco stared at me blankly and pointed to one of the banners behind him. "It's…it's your _birthday_."

"My _birthday_?" I repeated doubtfully, then thought. "Oh My God, it _is_ my birthday!"

"You forgot it was your birthday?" Webster laughed.

"Honestly, yeah," I laughed. "I've just been so busy with the babies that I genuinely forgot. This was such a surprise."

"That was kind of the point," Babe laughed, walking in, a baby to each arm. "Now you see why I took the babies. Not ready to be juggled in the air!"

"You did all this?" I asked, turning round to face him with a big smile on my face.

"Ed did everything," Carla piped up from the back.

"You," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

"Are those…are those the babies?" Lieb said, mirroring what everyone else seemed to be thinking whilst on tenterhooks.

"No, these are just some spares. The real ones are out in the car," Babe joked

"Babe," I rolled my eyes. "Yes, this is Finlay and Orla. Come see."

En masse, everyone surged forward to get a look, the rooms filling with "ooh"s and "aah"s.

…………….

Spotting my mother tearing up whilst holding Orla, I walked over to her. "Okay mom?"

"She's just so beautiful," My mother sobbed, happily. "She's got your nose!"

"It's your nose too," I smiled. "Mine is like yours. It's funny, Finlay is an exact little version of Ed, red hair and all, but Orla has brown hair like me."

"Both are little lookers," Mom smiled.

"Sandra and Duncan couldn't come?" I asked, scanning the crowd. I hadn't seen them.

"No," She replied, shaking her head. "She apologises but she couldn't make it. She had the baby two days ago."

"Really?" I asked excitedly. "What did she have?"

"Another little girl," She said proudly. "Margaret."

"Beautiful name," I smiled.

"I can't believe it," She said. "Four grandchildren. A few years ago I wasn't sure I'd see any of my children alive again and now I have _four_ grandchildren."

"And there will be more to come, I've no doubt," I said, reaching my hands out to take Orla, who'd started to fuss in my mother's arms.

"Darling," She said, her tone growing serious. "Now that you have the babies…you don't ever think about moving back to Philly do you?"

"Why do you ask," I said, cradling the baby.

"It's just, with the family growing, I love to have everyone around me. I feel safer that way," She admitted.

"I understand, Mom," I said, sympathetically. "But Ed and I, we're doing very well here. We've got the babies, the house…things are just going really well."

"I understand," She smiled, acceptingly.

"One day we'll come back," I said, firmly. "But in the meantime, I promise to visit a lot more, so that you can see these little guys as much as possible."

Spying Luz in the corner, I walked over to say hi.

"George Luz, welcome to my neck of the woods," I joked.

"Happy Birthday," He said, kissing my cheek.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I don't know if I walked into a birthday party or a Day Care centre," He laughed, indicating. "There are so many babies in here…and no booze!"

"Come with me," I laughed, and led him into the kitchen where I reached into a cupboard, pulling out a bottle of Scotch.

"Secret stash?" He asked as I poured two glasses.

"Something like that," I laughed, handing him one. "Sometimes Babe and I need a nightcap after a hard day of looking after the babies."

"Well here's to you," He said, clinking my glass. "So how'd that going by the way? All the baby stuff. Are you getting enough sleep?"

"I'm sorry," I laughed, jokingly. "I don't remember what that word means."

"Well if it's any consolation you still look a 10," He smiled.

"Thanks George. It's tiring, but _so_ worth it," I beamed.

"I always knew you'd be a good mother," He said, knowingly.

"What about you, George?" I asked, changing the subject. "When are you going to settle down and have some kids?"

"Ah well," He said, taking a long sip from his glass. "Unfortunately I cant commit myself to one lady. They all want a piece of George Luz and who am I to deny them it? "

"You're so full of it," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"Hey," Perco said, appearing from the sitting room. "What are we drinkin over here?"

"Apple juice," Luz lied, standing in the way of the bottle.

"Sure," Luz said, disbelievingly.

"How's it going, Perco?" I asked.

"Excellent, but what's with all the babies. Everyone from Easy seems to have had kids!"

"Years without sex will do that, " I laughed.

"Seriously though, there are so many out there I'm worried people are gonna go home with the wrong ones," He replied, his face serious. "I think we need to get some kind of tagging process in place here!"

"You wanna put tags on the babies?" George asked, dryly.

"Why not?" Perco asked.

"Fi, slap him for me please," George rolled his eyes and poured himself another drink.

……………………

"So, baby number two, huh Bill?" I asked, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

"That's right," He said, swallowing a canapé. "A little girl, two weeks ago."

"Two weeks," I said, impressed. "I take it she's not here then?"

"No, she's with my ma back in Philly,"

"So what'd you call her?" I asked, tentatively.

"Marie," He said, coughing.

"Pretty,"

Silence.

"Little Finlay's a livewire, huh," He chuckled. "And the other one's gonna be a real looker just like her Ma."

"They're great babies," I nodded. "Still not sleeping through the night, but still…"

"Yeah, it's about to get worse," He laughed along with me. "You're still glowing though…and you seem really happy here."

"I am," I insisted, smiling. "I am. What about you? Are things okay with you and Carla?"

"Yeah," He said, offering me a half-smile. "Two kids and she wants to try for a third."

"Is that what you want?" I asked, curiously.

"It makes her happy," He said.

……………….

Later that night, when everyone had gone back to whatever hotel they were staying in and our spare bedrooms were filled up with the rest, Babe and I sat with our feet up on the couch, scoping out the debris and cleanup that had to be done.

"I say we do it tomorrow," I said, snuggling into his chest and looking at his wristwatch. "Or this morning, rather."

"I second that," He said, yawning. He nuzzled my neck. "Did you have a good birthday?"

"Yes, I did," I replied, kissing him gently on the lips. "Thank you for the party, you didn't have to arrange all that."

"Ah I thought you could use a little celebration," He said. "Having two babies is hard work."

"It is, but I think we're coping with it really well," I said, proudly.

"Oh we are," He agreed. "We make quite a team."

"I'll drink to that," I laughed.

"Oh, a drink," Babe said, his eyes lighting up. "It's been a long day. Join me in a nightcap?"

"Ooh, yes please," I said. He detangled himself from me and walked into the kitchen in search of the Scotch. Suddenly I remembered George, Frank and I had finished it off earlier whilst we were talking. "Oh!"

"Hey, it's empty!" came the cry from the kitchen.

…………………………….

_**SIX YEARS LATER**_

"Orla, take daddy's hand!" I instructed as we entered the busy train station.

"Okay, Mommy," The bouncing mini-brunette chirped as she took Babe's hand.

"Okay," Babe said, stopping to look at the large screen. "I think we want to be on _that_ one there."

Hurriedly, we ushered the kids and suitcases onto the train, finding an empty compartment where we unloaded everything and sat down wearily. We were taking the kids to New York for the annual Easy Reunion. It was something they looked forward to every year- the train ride, the hotel, seeing the Easy men.

"Daddy," Orla said curiously. "Is there a giant apple in New York City?"

"What Sweetie?" Babe asked as he loaded the suitcases onto the storage racks.

"Suzie Gibson in my class says that New York is called The Big Apple because there's a big apple in it, but I told her I've been there _five_ times and never sawed it," She rushed out.

"_Seen_ it," I corrected, tousling her hair.

"That's stupid," Little strawberry-blonde Finlay stated, poking his tongue out at his sister as he ran his toy car up the window.

"Sweetie, there's no big apple there," Babe laughed. "They just call it The Big Apple."

"Oh," Orla said confused, trying to process it. Her eyes lit up. "Is Uncle Bill going to be there?"

"Uh…yes," I said distractedly. "I think so."

"Uncle Bill's a pirate!" Finlay exclaimed, covering up on eye with his hand and making pirate motions. "Arrr!"

"How do you figure that?" Babe asked.

"Because he told me," Finlay insisted.

"Sweetie, I think Uncle Bill was just joking around with you," I smiled affectionately at him.

"No no, it's true mama," Orla said excitedly. "He says it's because he had a peg leg!"

"I guess that would make Joe Toye a pirate too," I smiled, rolling my eyes at Babe.

……………………….

The kids raced full speed at the door into the function room for the reunion.

"Woah, kids," I called, running to catch up with them. I bent down to fix the bow in Orla's hair. "Okay, what have you to remember for tonight?"

"Best behaviour," They chorused, jumping up and down.

"Very good," I smiled. "On you go then."

Opening the door, as usual, Finlay raced inside with Babe in hot pursuit and Orla hung shyly at my side. She would always be shy at first, but would come out of her shell by the end of the night.

"Sit down here, Sweetie," I said, leading her to a table and helping her sit down.

"Hey," Webster said, turning round from a table nearby after hearing my voice. He moved over and sat next to us. He tousled Orla's hair. "Hey kid."

She stared back at him shyly.

"You remember David Webster, Orla," I said, winking at Webster. "You saw him last year. He likes to read… a lot!"

"Thanks," He replied, rolling his eyes at me.

Orla's eyes lit up. "I love to read!"

"Really?" He asked, putting on excitement for her. "What books do you read? Dickens? Proust?"

I laughed. "Web…"

Orla sat deep in thought for a moment. "I like…"Daisy says Moo"."

"Ooh," He said, looking troubled. "Really? "Daisy says Moo"? Oh I cant read that one, far too difficult for me."

"I've read it _eight_ times," She smiled, proudly.

"Wow," He said, playing along with her.

"And _who do you read_?" She asked sitting up straight in her chair, trying to copy him.

"I'm going to get some water," I said, standing up. "I'm parched."

"I'll watch her," Web smiled reassuringly at me as I walked off.

Standing at the bar, waiting for someone to give me a glass of water. I noticed Carla standing at the bar, heavily pregnant again and trying to sit little Henry Guarnere on a stool.

"Hi Carla," I said, walking over to her.

"Oh, hi!" She said, smiling as she turned round to look at me, kissing me on both cheeks.

"How are you, Henry," I asked him. He was determined not be sat on the stool, struggling to get free. He looked more and more like Bill every time I saw him.

"Hi Mrs Heffron," He said, finally succeeding in struggling free and standing on his own two feet. "Is Finlay here?"

"Yes he is," I said, scanning the room for my son. "He's over there next to his daddy, climbing over…your daddy."

"We're supposed to have another race this year," he said excitedly, running over to see him.

"Number four, huh?" I said, pointing to her stomach.

"Yeah," She smiled. "What can I say? We can't get enough. What about you, Fi? You never think about having any more?"

"Not right now," I laughed, staring affectionately at Henry and Finlay as they play fought with Luz. "Those two are quite a handful as it is."

Babe and Bill walked over. "Evening ladies."

"Finally managed to get free from Finlay?" I asked Bill, laughing.

"I escaped, yeah," He replied.

"He thinks you're a pirate, you know," I winked at him.

Suddenly the song changed to a slow waltz. Babe held out his hand to me. "Dance?"

"Why I'd love to," I smiled, letting him lead me to the floor.

………………………….

After the dance, Babe kissed my hand and then looked over his shoulder at Orla, who was serenading an uncomfortable Webster very loudly. "I'd better go and get her."

I walked over to the bar and sat down at the bar. Luz appeared to minutes later, slightly breathless.

"Scotch," He rasped at the bartender.

"You okay, Luz?" I asked.

"Fine, except your son keeps beating me up," He said chuckling. "What, are you two raising a son or a boxer? Someone should tell him it's his _dad_ that's the cop, not him. Oh, and that Henry Guarnere, too. After what Bill did on D-day, I _really_ hope he doesn't take after his father! He seems to like roughing me up too."

"Oh, they just love their Uncle George," I laughed, patting him on the shoulder.

"I'm not so sure," He laughed. "I was going to offer to babysit sometime but I'm not sure I'd make it through alive!"

I chuckled as I sipped some water.

"Oh, that's cute," He said, pointing out to the dancefloor where Orla was dancing on Babe's feet in time to the music.

"So, George?" I said, looking out to the floor. "You still don't want to settle down?"

"Maybe," He said, honestly. "I've been dating a girl."

"Really?" I asked excitedly. "What's she like?"

"She's pretty, funny and she's a secretary. It's early days yet but who know, she could be the one!"

"Could be," I smiled. "I'm happy for you, George."

……………

"Vera!" I cried, running up to my old friend as she walked into the room with daughters Maxine and Marlene at either side, hugging her. "How are you?!"

"I'm good, it's so good to see you," She smiled. "Sorry we're late, little Eugene jnr has been a bit sick, this evening."

"Oh so no Eugene?" I asked.

"He's upstairs with the baby," She told me. "We're going to do the evening in shifts."

"Marlene! Maxine!" Orla cried, running up and throwing her arms around the excited girls. "Come on, we're talking to the Major!"

"Come on, you look like you could you a drink," I laughed as I led her to the bar. "Spritzer?"

"Oh, yummy," She said, happily letting me lead her.

……………….

Yawning, I walked up to Babe. "About ready to go, Babe?"

"Yeah, I'm ready for bed," He said, standing up, rubbing his eyes. "Let's get the kids and head back to the room. Where are they?"

"Over there with Major Winters," I smiled, pointing over to them. "Hang on, I'll go get them."

I walked over to the Major, who had managed to attract a crowd of all of the _"Easy Children"_, who were all listening intently as he spoke.

"Finlay, Orla," I whispered, holding up a hand to Dick to apologise for cutting in on him as he spoke. "Bedtime."

"No, Mama," Finlay complained. "The Major is telling us all about parachuting into Holland!"

Dick looked at me amused, and then looked at the little crowd. "Tell you what kids, you all go to bed now and I'll continue tomorrow at breakfast!"

"Okay," They chorused, standing up. I took Finlay and Orla hand's in each of mine.

"Mama," Finlay asked, looking up at me. "Can the Major come for a sleepover?"

"Oh, please Mama!" Orla piped up.

I laughed. "I don't think the Major would enjoy that very much."


	41. Chapter 41 Life's Curveballs part 1

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

_**6 YEARS LATER- MID- SUMMER 1958**_

Over the next six years, whilst the US was embroiled in the Korean War, Suez Canal and gripped in racial segregation, Orla and Finlay grew from inquisitive pre-schoolers to just-as-inquisitive kids on the verge of entering Junior High. Orla had proved to be a very good student, taking an early interest in politics and economics. She would often sit at the radio, listening to the latest news broadcast. Finlay, whilst trying his hardest in school, found that his talent lay more in the sports field, taking an active interest in football and soccer. He was adamant that he wanted to be a soldier like his daddy when he grew up. I think this was, in part, due to the fact that several years previously Babe had strongly considered going off to help the Korean War Effort, an idea that I, myself, put a stop to, telling him that to not try and be a hero twice. He'd been once lucky but he had too much to lose this time. Thinking it over, he decided not to go, instead focusing all of his attention on climbing the ranks of the Pittsburgh Police Department where, a year previously in 1957, he'd been promoted to Police Commander of the South Side District. Nothing changed much for me, however, still working in the same job at the same school. I loved it all the same, though.

…………………..

One evening during the School Summer Holidays, we sat around the dinner table, eating a light dinner of chicken salad.

"Mom, it's Suzie Johnson's birthday party this Saturday," Orla told me, putting her fork into her mouth.

"I know, Sweetie. I got the invitation in the post a few days ago," I said, pouring more water into my glass.

"I can't go," Finlay said, hungrily spooning forkfuls into his mouth.

"Why?" I asked.

"My soccer game," He said, looking up at me.

"Oh, that's right," I remembered. "Who is it you're playing again?"

"The boys from Squirrel Hill. This time we're gonna get those scumbags!" He said, fired up.

I raised my eyebrows and looked over at Babe, amused. "And just where did you hear that word, mister?"

"Nowhere," He said, looking at Babe and then looking down.

I chuckled. "Well, I don't want to hear it again."

Suddenly we were interrupted by the phone ringing. Wiping my mouth with my napkins, I went over to pick it up.

"Heffron Residence," I said into the receiver.

"Fiona?" Came the voice at the other end. "Fiona, it's Bill."

"Bill," I said, my stomach twinging a little as it always did when I spoke to him. "How are you?"

"I'm good…you?" He asked tentatively.

"Can't complain,"

"Look, Fiona, I kind of need to ask you a favour," He said.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, intrigued.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I was just wondering if you'd be able to take Henry, Marie and Tony for a week or so," He said, referring to his three oldest children. "Carla's due to go into labour any day now, and there's just too many kids milling around."

"What about the rest of them?" I asked, my stomach diving as I recalled that Carla had been pregnant _again_.

"They're going to stay with my Ma, but she can't take them all," He said. "She's not been too well recently."

"Gee Bill, I'm not sure," I said, looking over at the dinner table, not sure how Babe would feel about it.

"Please," He pleaded. "I hate to ask but I'm really backed into a corner here. You're my last hope, and I thought it'd be good for them to see Finlay and Orla for a while, what with the summer holidays and all."

"It's quite far away though," I pointed out.

"I'd bring them up on the train tomorrow if it was okay, and come back the next day" He told me.

I grimaced, looking back over at the table, but I couldn't not help out a friend in need at a time like this. "Sure Bill, that'd be no problem."

"Oh thank you," He said, relieved. "Ok, the Train timetable says the train from Philly gets into Pittsburgh at 5.30 p.m."

"Okay," I said, scribbling it down on a nearby notepad. "Babe will be working at that time but I'll come down with the kids and pick you up."

"Thanks, Fi. I really owe you one," He said gratefully. "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," I said, hanging up the receiver and going back into the dining room, sitting down on my seat.

"Who was that?" Babe asked.

"It was Bill," I told him. "Carla's in lab-…about to have her baby and he was wondering if Henry, Marie and Frankie could come and stay with us for a week."

Orla squealed in delight.

"What did you say?" Babe asked.

"I said of course," I smiled at the kids, giving Babe a look to show I'd had no choice. He nodded understandingly. "Isn't that great, kids. You get to see Henry, Marie and Tony."

"I can take Marie to Suzie's party," Orla buzzed.

……………………

The next day, after picking the Guarneres up from the train station, we drove them back to our house.

"Mrs Heffron," Henry said in a thick Philly accent like his father, leaning on the back of my seat as we drove. "You were originally from Philly, right? You and Mr. Heffron?"

"That's right, "I laughed.

"Then how come Finlay supports the Pittsburgh Steelers?" He asked, tutting jokingly.

I gasped jokingly, adding sarcastically. "Never! Finlay Heffron how could you?"

"I never said that," Finlay grumbled, jabbing Henry in the sides.

"Boys," I laughed as we drove up the driveway.

Walking inside, the kids ran upstairs immediately to their respective rooms to unpack their belongings.

"Coffee?" I asked, looking over at Bill.

"Love one," He said, following me to the kitchen.

He sat down on a kitchen stool as I busied myself preparing coffee, purposely trying to avoid his eye contact. It was strange but, even after all this time, I still felt quite vulnerable when on my own with Bill.

"So…number 6, huh?" I said impressed, whistling as I referred to his children.

"Yep, we're a factory," He chuckled, shifting in his chair.

"I take my hat off to Carla," I smiled. "Delivering two was hard enough, but _six_."

"She's a machine," He joked.

I chuckled, not thinking what I was saying as I was lost in the joke. "That could have been _me_! Oh! Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay," He said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled.

He put his hand over mine affectionately and our eyes locked. I can't deny that butterflies filled my stomach as we looked at each other. As much as I loved Babe, I suspected Bill would always provoke this reaction within me. We stayed there, just looking at each other, for several seconds before a small voice brought us crashing back to reality.

"Uh…," Henry Guarnere said, looking at us strangely, as if not understand what was happening.

Bill and I snapped our hands away.

"What's wrong, pal?" Bill said shifting uncomfortably, looking at his son.

"I…uh….I forgot my toothbrush," He stammered out, looking at the floor uncomfortably.

"That's okay, Honey," I said, not looking him in the eye as I spooned sugar into the mugs. "We keep spares. I'll pop one up to you later."

"O…okay," He said, turning on his heel and leaving quickly.

"Didn't look too good did it," I said to Bill once we were alone, worried.

"Don't worry about it," Bill said. "He's fine."

"Okay," I said, trying to put it out of my mind.

…………………….

The next day Bill was preparing to make his return back to South Philly. He kneeled down at the front door to say goodbye to his children.

"Say hi to Momma for me," Marie said, hugging him.

"Will do, kid," He smiled. He turned to Tony, giving him a hug. "Have a good time, Tony. Good Behaviour, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Came the reply.

Bill turned to Henry, who stood awkwardly with his arms folded. "Got a hug for your old man?"

Henry stood rooted to the spot.

"Okay then," Bill said, giving his son a reassuring smile as he patted him on the back. He stood up, shaking Babe's hand and turning to me.

"Give our best to Carla," I smiled, deciding it was best we didn't touch.

"I…will do," He said, turning on his heel as he walked out of the door, waving goodbye.

…………………..

The next day the children hadn't felt like doing much, clearly missing their parents and feeling homesick, so two days later I woke up early to make them a big breakfast before a big day out, starting with a visit to the zoo, picnic in the park and then the evening show at the picture house.

"Good Morning," I said, as they all trudged bleary-eyed down the stairs.

"Morning," They chorused, sitting around the dining table.

"I made pancakes for everyone. Something to set you up for a nice day out," I said, placing their plates in front of them.

"Where are we going?" Orla asked.

"I thought we could go to the zoo, then have a picnic and then go see the evening show at the movies," I said, place a jug of syrup down. They all whooped and cheered, except Henry, who simply pushed the food around his plate. "Sound good, Henry?"

"What? Uh…yeah," He said, looking up, his mind somewhere else.

……………………..

At the zoo, Babe and I walked hand-in-hand several paces behind the children, who ran excitedly from exhibit to exhibit.

"Henry seems a little…on edge," I said, anxiously.

"Probably just misses Bill and Carla," Babe suggested, leading me excitedly over to the monkeys.

"I think you're more excited to be here than the kids," I joked, tickling his side as I walked up behind him.

"Maybe," He said, putting his arms around my waist as we watched them. He nuzzled my neck. "Do you remember we used to come here when we first moved to Pittsburgh?"

"How could I forget?" I smiled, reminiscing.

"Do you remember that _one_ time…," He whispering into my ear.

"Sssh," I giggled, stroking his hand. "Of course I remember. We could never get away with that now, though."

"Oh, I don't know," He chuckled. "You never know."

"Yes, I do," I laughed, indicating to the kids who were walking back over to us.

"Mom! Dad! They have a new lion since we were last here!" Finlay said, excitedly. "You have to come see it."

He dragged Babe rapidly by the hand towards the lion's cage, with the rest of us following behind. I hung back to talk to Henry. He crossed his arms almost defiantly as we walked.

"So, Henry, are you having a good day?" I asked.

"I s'pose," He said simply.

"Are you alright, Henry?" I asked, concerned. "You seem a little…distracted these days."

"I'm not," He insisted.

"Do you miss your mom and dad?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess," He replied.

"At least when you see them again you'll have a new brother or sister," I smiled cheerfully. "You must be excited about that."

"Not really," He grunted.

"No?" I asked, pressing cautiously.

"Nope," He said. "I don't see the point in another kid."

"You don't?"

"No, they already have a lot as it is," He said. "Besides, I was looking at you and and Mr. Heffron there when you were watching the monkeys…and my mom and dad don't act like _that_."

"You mean they're not affectionate?" I asked.

"Exactly," He replied, snapping his fingers.

"Well, Henry, just because couples aren't affectionate doesn't mean they don't…," I began to say.

"It's not just that. Something's _always_ been wrong between them," He said, stopping to look me pointedly in the eye for the first time. "And it's only recently I've been wondering _why_ exactly."

I opened my mouth, shocked, to respond but he'd already walked quickly ahead to catch up with Finlay and Babe. Too stunned, I didn't attempt to catch up. I just watched them walk.

………………………

I decided the best thing to do was to leave Henry until he decided whether he had something he wanted to say to me. Perhaps nothing had happened between Bill and I but Henry may have been getting several inklings into our past, besides the way he'd found us in the kitchen that day. I didn't really feel it was me who should have explained it to him, it was up to Bill and Carla. If my own children ever enquired one day, it would be me who should tell them. So I left him to his own devices, simply cooking his meals and letting him enjoy the company of Babe and Finlay.

Two days after the zoo trip, I sat inside preparing lunch Babe organised a game of Softball between all of the kids in the backyard. I watched them from the window as I prepared a light salad.

"I simply can't play! Not in _this_ dress!" I heard Marie squeal.

"Come on, Marie! Let's do it for the girls," Orla growled proudly. "Let's do this!"

I chuckled as I watched them, slicing tomatoes all the while. Suddenly the sound of the telephone rung out. Putting down the knife and wiping my hands, I reached across and pulled the phone off of the hook.

"Heffron residence," I chirped into the phone. I instantly recognised the voice. "Bill! Good to hear from you. Any news?"

I continued to watch the game in the backyard as I listened to Bill. Suddenly, upon hearing what he said to me, I dropped the phone in shock and horror.

"I did it! I did it!" Came Henry's excited cheers from the backyard. Through wide-open eyes, I saw him jumping up and down in the air in celebration.

"Oh My God," was all I could whisper as I watched absent-mindedly, putting my hand over my mouth as the sound of Bill repeating my name over and over came from the phone, which lay upside down on the floor.


	42. Chapter 42 Life's Curveballs part 2

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

"Fiona, Fiona," Bill's voice came out over there phone, wracked with emotion. "Are you still there?"

Leaning over the sink, reeling, I turned on the faucet and took three quick gulps, breathing deeply. I bent down slowly and picked up the phone.

"I'm…I'm here," I said, my voice croaking. "What…uh…how…?"

"I'm not even sure," He whispered, his voice cracking.

"I'm so so…," I paused. "Should I…_should I tell them_?"

"No," He said. "I'll tell them myself. Please, if you could just get them on a train tomorrow and get them back here."

"Of course," I said, nodding to myself.

"…okay," Came his reply. He sounded so lost.

"Um…tomorrow, then. Bill, I…I…I'm _so_ sorry," I said, slowly pulling the phone away from my ear. My heart hung so heavy as my eyes fell upon the excited yells and smiles of the children outside that I couldn't even hang the phone on the hook, simply placing it instead on the countertop. I couldn't look at them right now. My legs carried me into the sitting room somehow and I sat down shakily on the sofa, putting my head down into my hands, trying to calm my nerves.

Babe bounded in, whistling. "Just getting some juice for the…. Fi? Where are you? Fi?"

I couldn't reply, but I heard him going room-to-room calling my name until he finally walked into the living room. "Hey, what are you doing in here?"

I looked up at him, wide-eyed, and whispered. "Are the children with you?"

"No…they're outside. Why, what's wrong?" He asked, moving closer and squatting down in front of me.

"Babe," I whispered, panicked. I reached out and grabbed both of his hands desperately. "Carla…Carla's dead."

"What?" He said, scratching his head. "How do you…how?"

"I…I don't know, during the birth I assume, but…" I said, my mind racing.

"Oh my God," He said, putting a hand to one cheek in shock. Suddenly, he pointed out towards the Garden. "Should we tell…."

"No, Bill says don't. He says just bring them back tomorrow so he can tell them but…," I burst into tears. "How are we going to be able to keep it from them?"

"Hey, hey, hey," He said pulling me into a hug, stroking my back supportively. "It's ok. We'll get through this. We _have_ to…for them."

……………………….

The next day we set off for Philly, as arranged. As if sensing the horror that lay ahead for us there, the skies had opened and rained down heavily, despite being mid-summer. Urgently, we'd bustled the children onboard and into the first empty carriage available. I'd decided to just level with them, telling them I didn't know why their daddy wanted them back, just that he did. Tony, too young to know otherwise, was just happy to be going home…as was Marie, more or less. Henry, naturally, being a quizzical youth, had his doubts and bombarded us with questions that we just couldn't answer.

I sat in my chair, pretending to read my book so as to fend off any more questions, but I couldn't stop thinking about Carla. However much of it I'd been indirectly responsible for, she'd put up with a hell of a lot. More than any woman should have to. I respected her greatly, and felt guilty when I remembered that there were so many times after the War when I wished she would just disappear, but things had changed now and she didn't deserve _this_. However, such are the curveballs life throws at us. A tear ran down my cheek before I could stop it.

"Are you okay, Mom?" Orla asked, looking over at me, her head cocked to one side.

"Oh, I'm fine Sweetie," I said, coughing. "Just a sad bit of my book.

Henry looked at me suspiciously. "I just don't understand. I thought we were supposed to be here for a week."

"I don't know, Henry," I said simply.

"Don't worry about it, Henry. Just try and enjoy the trip," Babe said, patting the boy on the shoulder.

"Maybe Mommy and Daddy just miss us too much," Marie said, cheerfully.

Babe and I exchanged a heartbreaking glance.

……………………….

Back in Philadelphia with heavy hearts. After dropping Finlay and Orla off at my parents' apartment, we made the painful journey to the Guarneres' house with Henry, Marie and Tony.

An older woman opened the door. "Edward?"

"Good to see you again, Mrs Guarnere," He said, kissing her on the cheek. I'd never met Bill's mother before. Here she looked broken, nothing like the fiery housewife Bill often described her as.

The children hugged their grandmother and bounded inside.

"This is my wife, Fiona," Babe said, pointing at me.

Strangely, she looked me up at down. "Nice to meet you at last."

"You too," I said, sticking out my hand to her before following her into the kitchen. Babe went in to the sitting room.

"I've heard a lot about you over the years," She said to me, wiping the kitchen countertops in an effort, I believe, to keep busy.

"Oh," Was all I could say.

"Don't worry, I won't jump all over you. I don't know exactly what's happened but it's all in the past. This is a time when the family needs to stick together," She said, turning round to face me.

"Yes," I agreed, numbly.

"The problem with that is that I can't get the family here," She said.

"What do you mean?"

"Bill. He's at the hospital with his sister. He has to come home and talk to those kids but he won't leave the baby," She sighed.

"The baby? It survived?" I asked, shocked. I felt ashamed that the fate of the baby hadn't even occurred to me in all of the madness.

"Yes, and healthy too," She said. "At least that's something. Bill won't come home, though."

"I see,"

"Someone needs to go get him, set him straight," She said, looking me in the eye. "I don't know why _exactly_, as I've said, but I know you have some kind of connection to my son. He holds you in very high regard. He _listens_ to you."

"You…you want me to go?" I asked quietly.

"And to not come back without my son, yes," She said, handing me a set of car keys. "The black one outside."

"O…okay," I said, taking them from her and leaving immediately.

……………….

Driving to the hospital, my mind raced. How was I going to convince him to come home? He, a grieving husband and father. What could _I_ possibly say?

Parking, I slowly made my way inside and to the maternity unit. I didn't even have to ask anyone where to he was. He was standing, head leaning on the glass window, looking into the viewing room with all of the other newborn babies. I simply watched him for a few seconds, before tentatively walking over to him.

"Bill?"

He turned round to look at me. He was unshaven, and looked exhausted. We stared at each other for a few moments, before falling into an embrace.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered into his ear as I held him close.

"Thanks for coming," He breathed into my ear.

"I'll stay as long as you need me," I promised.

Slowly, we pulled apart. I turned to look through the window. "Which one?"

"Middle row, third one from the left," He said, pointing at the sleeping baby. "Little girl."

"She's beautiful," I said, managing a smile.

"Shame she'll never get to know her mother," He said, looking down.

I turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Bill…you have to come home with me. The kids are there."

"I can't," He said, turning away.

"Why not?"

"I'm too scared," He admitted. "There you ago, I said it. Never thought I would but I can't hide it. I'm terrified."

"Terrified of telling them?" I asked, trying to understand.

"Yeah," He sniffed, trying to hide his face. "How can I tell them they're never going to see their Ma again. Besides, if I tell them…then I have to admit to myself that she's really gone."

"Bill…sit down," I said, leading him to some nearby chairs. I took his hand. "She _is_ really gone…but you have kids back home that are gonna wanna know why."

"How can I…," He stammered out exasperatedly, putting his head in his hands.

"All you can do is be honest with them," I said, rubbing his back.

He looked up at me. "Will you be there when I tell them?"

"If you want me there," I said. He nodded. "Then of course I'll be there."

"Thank you," He said quietly. He looked at me, pointing toward the viewing room. "What about…"

"Your sister can stay with her," I said. I stood up, holding out my hand to him. "Come on, let's go."

Reluctantly he stood up and let me lead him to the car.

…………………

"Daddy!" Tony flung himself at Bill as we walked through the door.

"Hey kiddo," He said softly, picking him up.

"Where's Mom?" Henry asked from the sofa.

"She's…," Bill looked back at me. I gave him a firm nod. He motioned for his children to gather around him. "Sit down, kids."

Mrs Guarnere stood in the kitchen doorway almost out of sight, trying to hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. I walked over to Babe, standing next to him whilst he put a supportive arm around me, kissing my head.

"Well, first I have to say that you have a new baby sister," Bill told them. They let out a whoop.

"How's Mom?" Marie asked.

"Well," He said, looking down. "There was a bit of a…problem…during the birth."

"What happened, Dad?" Marie asked concerned. Henry folded his arms, steeling his facial expression as if he knew what was coming.

"Mom…mommy…she lost a lot of blood," He said, looking down. "Too much blood."

"What are you saying?" Henry asked, demandingly.

"The doctors they…they tried real hard but…they couldn't make her better," Bill explained, tears rolling down his cheek. He looked at the younger kids. "Mommy went to heaven."

"W-what?" Marie said, lip trembling. Eyes rolling down her cheek, she leapt from her chair and into the arms of her grandmother, who held her close.

"I don't understand, daddy," Tony said, wide-eyed and confused. "Isn't she coming back?"

"No, he means she's dead, Stupid," Henry suddenly exploding, standing up with his fists clenched in frustration. "She'll never be back."

"Henry," Mrs Guarnere said, warningly looking over at him.

"This is such bull. I'm outta here," He shouted out, jumping over the back of the sofa and making his way to the door. He passed Babe and I.

"Henry," I said, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "I think you should stay.

"_Let go of me,_" He said, his eyes spitting daggers into mine.

I let go of him, watching him run from the house.

"I better go get him," Bill said, standing up but his leg buckled, making him fall to one side with the artificial one remaining rigid. As he'd done once for me in Bastogne, I instantly ran over to catch him as he fell.

"He's just upset," Babe said, turning to leave. "I'll go see if he wants to talk.

I held the grieving Bill in my arms, as Tony climbed onto his lap and threw his arm around his neck.

…………………..

Two days later we gathered en masse for Carla's funeral. Malarkey, Luz, Toye, Buck and the Major had turned up to support Bill. Standing with Orla and Finlay on either side of me, I looked over at Bill, sitting with his head down, deep in thought as he seemingly said his own goodbyes to his wife. To his side, Henry sat limply in his chair. A totally blank expression on his face. My heart went to him, he seemed to be taking it much worse than everyone else, if that was even possible.

When it was over we went back to the Guarneres' for the wake. Trying to be as helpful to Mrs Guarnere as possible, I busied myself by setting out the buffet on the tables. I felt a tugging on my dress. I looked down to see Tony. I crouched down to look at him.

"You okay, buddy?" I asked, stroking his cheek.

"I don't like this," He said, sucking on his thumb. "I'm tired and I want Mommy."

I picked up him and carried him to his bedroom, laying him down on the bed. "Try and have a nap, Tony."

I got up to leave.

"Is mommy coming back?" He asked. "Henry said she isn't."

"Well…," I said, thinking. "She's gone to heaven, but she'll never leave you, Tony. She'll always be looking out for you, kind of like a guardian angel."

"So is she here now?" He asked, curious.

"I think so," I smiled. "I think so. Now try and sleep."

Tucking the covers around him, I left him to sleep.

……………………

Back downstairs, I felt shaky. It was horrible to have to tell a five-year-old that, especially when I didn't really believe the words I'd said. Nervously, I necked a nearby glass of wine. Hands on either side of the kitchen sink, I stared out into the back garden.

"I guess we could all use a drink," Luz said, appearing next to me.

"You said it," I replied quietly.

"I hate funerals," He said, pouring himself a glass.

"Join the club," I said, sipping some water from the faucet.

"He seems to be staying strong for the kids," George said, referring to Bill.

"I think he's doing the best he can,"

"I don't think that little one's doing so well, though," He said, pointing out into the garden. I looked out to see Henry, sitting glumly alone on the rope swing Bill had made.

"No, he's not," I said. "Luz, would you excuse me a minute?"

I walked out into the garden next to Henry. I put a hand on the tyre swing next to the one he was on. "Mind if I sit?"

"Do what you want," He said, coldly.

I sat down, swinging gently. "Henry I know what a horrible day this must have been for you."

"Do you?" He asked me.

"Yes, I do," I said firmly. "It's a horrible day for everyone."

"Funny, I thought you'd almost be happy," He said, rolling his eyes.

"How can you say that?" I asked, tutting. "Look Henry, I don't know what you think you know but I'll have you know I haven't done anything wrong and neither was your father. I love my husband and he loved your mother, despite what you think."

He swallowed painfully, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You know what I think Henry. I think you're a confused little boy who misses his mother," I said. "Am I wrong?"

Another tear.

"And if that was the case then there's nothing wrong with that. It's normal. And you know what? If you're looking for someone to blame right now, and blaming me makes all this easier for you then that's okay too. Blame away, I'll understand," I said, reaching out and patting him on the shoulder. He flinched and pulled away. I crouched down in front of him. "I know you must feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders right now, but it's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad. But just know that I'll be here anytime you need me, for whatever. If you want to yell at me, cry at me, talk about your mother or...if you just need a hug, all of it is okay."

I stood up to leave him be.

"Thanks," Came his tiny reply.

I turned back round. He stood up, and ran into me for a cuddle. Slightly taken aback, I hugged him back as he sobbed. "It's okay, Henry. It's okay."

"I just miss her and I don't understand," He wailed.

"I don't understand either," I said sympathetically, hugging him closer. "But you'll get through this, Henry Guarnere. I promise you will."  
……………………..

"Sleep well, my darlings," I said, kissing Orla and Finlay in turn as I tucked them into bed that night. I stood up to leave.

"Mom," Orla said worriedly, making me turn around again.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"Don't have any more children, okay?" She said, pleadingly.

"What?"

"Promise you won't have any more kids," She repeated. "I…I don't want you to die like Marie's mom."

"Sweetie, I'm not going anywhere," I reassured her.

"You promise?" She asked.

"_I_ promise," Babe said, appearing in the doorway. He took my hand. "I won't let anything happen to mommy."

"Thanks, Dad," She smiled, yawned and rolled over to go to sleep.

Babe and I turned off the light and shut their door, walking down the hall to our room. I sat down on the bed, tired from the emotion of the day. He sat behind me and began to massage my shoulders.

"Quite a day," He speculated.

"Yeah," I said, looking at my feet. "Those poor kids."

"I know. Still, I think everyone held up pretty well…given the circumstances," He continued.

"Mmm Hmmm," I said, lost in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"I was thinking Bill was in a terrible state at the end of the day. I didn't really check on him," I said, concerned. "So I was thinking I…."

"…should go and check on him," Babe finished for my, as if he knew what I was going to say.

I turned round to face him. "You don't mind?"

"No," He sighed, smiling wearily and tensely. "You won't sleep otherwise."

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Yes, go," He said, pointing to the door.

"Okay, I won't be long," I smiled, pulling him into a kiss before running out to grab my coat.

……………………..

_Knock Knock_.

"Who is it?" Bill's voice grunted from the other end.

"It's me," I said, hoping he'd recognise my voice.

I heard the chain being pulled back, and Bill opened the door. "Come in."

I followed him into the kitchen. He looked terrible, with a less-than-half-full bottle of whiskey grasped in one hand. No glass necessary, I imagined.

"Where are the kids?" I asked.

"At my Ma's," He said, sitting down on a stool. "They didn't want to stay here tonight, in the house."

Understandable, I supposed. Too many painful memories of their mother in that house. I pointed to the bottle. "Do you think that's the best solution?"

"I'll let you know," He said, taking another gulp.

"No need," I said, prising it from his hand and placing it on the counter. "I can tell you right now that it's not."

Seeing no more available stools (must have been moved elsewhere for the Wake), I removed my heels and sat down on the floor, leaning against one of the cupboards. Unladylike, perhaps, but the heels had taken their toll on my feet and I relished the chance to sit down wherever possible.

"Well if you're going to sit down on the floor," He said, moving off of the stool and sitting next to me on the floor. "You know the last thing she said to me was nagging me about mending some curtains in the front room. She nagged on and on and I remember thinking "_Just shut up_". Funny. What I wouldn't give to hear that nagging now. It's strange…the things you miss."

I nodded. "The last time _I_ saw her was at the last Easy reunion. I showed her the dress I was going to wear and she said "_Oh no, Dear. Don't wear the polka dots, stripes are so much more slimming_"."

We laughed.

"She was a hell of a woman, Bill," I said, fondly.

"Yeah," He agreed. "I don't know how I'm going to go on without her. How I'm going to cope…with the kids and the house and work."

"You'll learn," I said, reassuringly.

"I was really fond of her. I say fond because, you know…I could never truly love her," He said, looking at me pointedly.

I tried to change the subject. "I think you loved her in your own way."

"True, but it was never the same. Never the same to how I felt about _you_," He said, reaching for my hand. Our eyes met, electricity crackling between us. Before I knew what was happening, he leaned in to kiss me. I have to admit that part of me was tempted but I snapped my head away just before our lips could touch. "_That's_ not the answer either."

He looked away, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just wanted…just thought… just needed a little…."

I held my hands up. "Look, Bill. I can be there for you, but not like that."

"Sorry. I really am sorry," He said, letting out a chuckle. "It's funny, all this time Carla was the one thing standing in the way of us being together. I can't believe I'm single again…free."

"Yes, but _I'm_ not," I said, raising my eyebrows at him. "Don't say things like that, Bill. It's the whiskey talking. I know part of you loved that woman in some way."

"Course I did," He slurred. "She gave me my kids."

"And Babe gave me mine," I said. "Kids that I'm very grateful to have."

He reached up to the counter for the whiskey bottle, grabbing it and taking a gulp. He held out to me. "Drink to life's curveballs?"

Pausing for a moment, eventually I reached out to take it, pointing it to him in toast before taking a slug. "To life's curveballs."

……………………….

An hour later, I'd made my way home to my loving husband. Walking into our bedroom, I found that he was in bed already. Changing into my slip, I climbed in next to him. He stirred as I got in.

"What time is it?" He asked, sleepily.

"Just after midnight," I said, moving closer to him. "Hold me."

He put his arms around me. "Did everything go okay with Bill?"

"Yeah, he's fine," I said. "Downed the better part of a bottle of whiskey, but better…I think."

"Poor guy," Babe said, stroking my arm.

"I couldn't bear if that happened to one of us," I said, nuzzling into his neck.

"Don't think about it," He said, comforting me.

We were silent for a few seconds as I began to doze off.

"Fi…?" Babe asked. He stopped stroking my arm momentarily.

"Yes?"

"Bill's hurting and is emotional, and we know how he feels about you. He didn't…try anything, did he?" He asked, clearly ashamed to be asking. I was silent for a bit too long. "He did, didn't he?"

"He…_attempted_ to kiss me," I said. I couldn't lie. I felt Babe's whole body stiffen. "But you _know_ I didn't do anything, right?"

"I know _you_ didn't," He said. "But I know how he feels about you and…"

"Calm down," I said, kissing my husband. "He was just grieving. I set him straight. You're the man I love, the man I had kids with and the man I vowed to love for the rest of my life. Okay?"

He grinned. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

I smiled, leaning in to kiss him.

"Say it again," He joked, pulling away.

Rolling my eyes, I chuckled as I leaned in to kiss him again.


	43. Chapter 43 Moving On

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Note- More flashing into the future I'm afraid, but necessary though. Just let me know if it gets too confusing.

………………….

_**3 YEARS LATER- 1961**_

After Carla died, Bill seemed to have withdrawn from anything romantic in his life, throwing himself into taking care of his children and his career. Or so I'd thought. You can imagine my surprise when a wedding invitation appeared in my mailbox….an invitation to _Bill's_ wedding! What?! I hadn't even known he was seeing anyone. Who exactly was this _Pamela?_

Still, it's not like I wasn't going to go. I had to. So, a month later, I was back in Philly with my family to watch Bill get married for the second time. I couldn't help but thinking slightly sourly to myself, _at least I know about it this time_.

"I didn't even know he was dating anyone," I said to my mom, as her, Orla and myself got ready for the wedding at her apartment.

"Well, I didn't either," Mom said, removing the curlers one-by-one from Orla's hair. "I haven't seen him out with anyone."

"It's _so_ bizarre," I said, applying lipstick.

"I suppose but did you really think he'd stay single forever?" She asked, taking out the final roller.

"Actually…sort of," I admitted, putting the cap back on the lipstick.

Mom chuckled, rolling her eyes.

Orla looked over at my lipstick. "Mom, can you put some of that on me?"

"Why, Sweetie?"

She blushed. "I…I just want to look really pretty tonight."

"Any particular reason?" I asked, applying a light coating to her lips.

My mom chuckled. "Fiona, Sweetheart, she's a 14-year-old girl."

………………………………

Not to stereotype Bill in any way, but the bride was the type that, when I first met him, I imagined he'd go for. Blonde, beautiful…but definitely not Italian. Though I hadn't spoken to her, from what I could see she seemed quiet, attentive to Bill and amicable to those around her. A perfect housewife it would seem.

"Spina," I said, tapping his shoulder.

He turned round, smiled and hugged me. "Good to see you!"

"You too," I enthused. "It's been a long time."

"Too long,"

"So…Bill remarried, huh?" I said, indicating around chuckling.

"Looks that way," He joked.

I pressed for information. "I was a little shocked. I didn't even know he was seeing anyone."

"Well I think we were all a little shocked," He replied.

"Wow, really? What do you mean?" I asked, a little shiftily.

"Well they've only been together about four months," He replied. I raised my eyes in shock. "I know, it's pretty damn fast. I think they were engaged about 2 and a half months in."

"I can't believe it," I said, shocked.

"I know, I couldn't either. But I figure he's doing it for the right reasons, this _is_ Bill we're talking about here."

I knew that much was true.

"Hey, hey, what's going on over here?" Luz's voice sounded behind us.

"Luz!" I turned round to greet him, my mouth dropping open when I saw the baby wrapped up in his arms.

"I want to introduce you to someone," He said, a grin erupting on his face.

"Luz, is he…is he…or she… yours?" I asked, smiling as I pointed to the baby.

He rolled his eyes at me, going into classic sarcastic George Luz-mode. "No, this one fell off the back of a truck and I decided to keep it. _Of course_ he's mine!"

"He's adorable!" I gushed, looking at his tiny fingers. "What's his name?"

"Daniel,"

"Beautiful," I told him. A thought suddenly flashed into my head, and I reached out to grasp his free hand, checking his wedding ring finger. "Oh, I know you didn't get married without inviting me!"

"What do you think?" He laughed as I looked as his bare wedding ring finger. "You're a contender for my best man, how could I _not_ invite you. Wedding's in November?"

"Is she here?" I asked, excitedly. "I'd love to meet her."

"No she's not," He said, shifting the baby in his arms. "She had to work. She's a nurse, y'know."

"A nurse, huh?" I winked mischievously at him. "Well I can't wait to meet her."

…………….

"Dance?" Bill asked, finding me seated at one of the tables and extending out a hand to me.

"Sure," I said, letting him lead me.

We began to dance in silence, swaying in time to the waltz.

"So," I said, trying to fill the silence. "Where did you two meet?"

"Parent-teacher night at Henry and Marie's school," He said. "She has a son that goes there, too. He and Henry are in the same class. We started talking, turned out she's a war widow…and things just went from there," He explained.

I smiled. "Pretty fast engagement, I hear."

"Well, yeah," He said, averting his gaze.

"How come you never let me know," I said, jokingly tutting.

"Just happened so fast, I got caught up in things," He replied honestly.

"Fast, yeah. Why so fast, out of interest?" I asked, not wanting to bombard him with questions but my curiosity took control of my mouth.

"The kids need a mother," He said, simply.

It was as good a reason as any, I supposed. "Well, fast as it was, I suppose that much is true."

He laughed. "Damn right. And cut a guy a break about the speed, will ya? At least I let you know in advance this time!"

I burst out laughing. "You know, I was thinking that myself this very morning."

Suddenly I felt a tugging at the back of my dress. I let go of Bill's hands and looked down to see Finlay staring at me.

"Mom, I'm bored," He said, crossing his arms sulkily.

"Finlay," I said warningly. I looked at Bill, embarrassed. His wedding wasn't that bad.

"Why don't you go find Henry?" Bill suggested.

"Well I _would_," Finlay sighed. "But he's been dancing with Orla all night."

He pointed over to the corner of the dance floor where Orla and Henry, true to Finlay's word, swayed in time to the music.

"All night, huh?" Bill asked, looking over at me, amused.

……………………………

_**2 MONTHS LATER**_

"Post!" I shouted out into the house as I walked in with a pile of letters.

I walked into the kitchen where the kids were eating breakfast. Flicking through the letters, I stopped on one. One with a very interesting return address of a Mr. Henry Guarnere from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. One that was addressed to a Ms. Orla Heffron.

"Oh, Orlaaaa," I teased, setting the letter down in front of her.

She squealed in delight, then reddened as she realised all eyes were on her.

"Orla has a _boyfriend_," Finlay teased, poking his sister in the ribs.

"Shut up! What are you, eight?" She rolled her eyes, picking up the letter and running from the kitchen. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me!"

I winked at Babe as I continued to thumb through the pile. Another one caught my eye. This one was addressed from the Major. It was a surprise, the Major never wrote us, except when the Easy reunions came around. Opening the letter, a newspaper clipping fell out and onto the floor. I bent down to pick it up.

"What do you have there?" Babe asked, looking up from his coffee.

I studied the page, my eyes immediately drawn to the section Major Winters had circled in red. I gasped as I read the headline: **"Saturday Evening Post Writer Lost At Sea"**_**.**_

Webster missing at sea? What was happening to the men of Easy Company? First Alton More at had died three years ago and now Webster was gone? It all served as a grim reality check for me. Despite being surviving the war and becoming "war heroes", we were all still very much susceptible to the unpredictability of life.


	44. Chapter 44 Opportunities we never had

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

_**4 YEARS LATER**_

Life carried on. Bill had divorced and remarried…_twice_. It was becoming a running joke in Philly that he was the most unmarriable man to ever get married…all in fun, of course. Anyway, as Bill flitted from relationship-to-relationship, one had formed from under our noses between Orla and Henry. It was a sweet relationship, growing out of a series of letters, summer visits and stolen phone calls. I hadn't taken it to be a_ serious_ relationship, however, until the my now 18-year-old daughter received a letter of acceptance from the University of Philadelphia to study politics in the coming semester.

"I…I didn't even know you'd applied there," I said, shocked. With her outstanding SAT results, Babe and I had been hoping she'd go Ivy League.

"Well," She shrugged casually, taking out her hair clip and letting her long brown hair spill over her shoulders. "It was just a last minute decision."

"What kind of last-minute decision?" Babe asked knowingly, in the way only a father can. "A Henry Guarnere kind of last minute decision?"

"Well…," She stuttered, looking for the right words.

"Uh…no," Finlay piped up from the other end of the table, in defense of his sister. He held a letter of his own. "She's going for me."

"Oh?" Babe asked, his face softening as he looked at his son, taking the letter. "You got a baseball scholarship to Philly University?"

"Yup," He said, proudly. Our son wasn't the brightest cookie in the jar, but he sure could hit a ball.

"Hey, look at you," Babe beamed. "Playing ball in your old man's old haunt."

"Congratulations, sweetheart," I said, kissing Fin on the cheek.

Babe turned back to Orla. "And this is _really_ the reason you want to go to Philadelphia?"

"Look Dad, I just miss Grandma, okay?" She said, her eyes glazing over. I knew she was lying, in a way only a mother can identify.

"Come on Orla," I said, standing up. "Help me clear up these plates."

We carried the plates into the kitchen. I put my stack down and leaned on the countertop, staring at her. "Grandma, huh?"

"Yes," She insisted, averting her eyes, knowing she'd been rumbled.

"Liar," I laughed, sticking my tongue out at her, tossing a dishcloth at her.

"Okay, okay," She laughed, blushing as she put the dishcloth on the table. "Mom, I love Henry. He's been through a lot but I think that, when we're together…things are really good, y'know?"

"I know," I said, nodding firmly. "Love is all about sacrifices…"

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking at me puzzled.

"I don't think I ever told you or your brother…but daddy moved to Pittsburgh to be with me," I smiled.

"He did?" She asked, shocked.

"Yes," I nodded. "He had a job in the Police Department in Philly…but he gave it all up to come here and be with me so that I could take my dream job."

"I had no idea," She gushed. "That is _so_ sweet."

"Isn't it," I reminisced.

"On the other hand," She added, dryly. "Had you stayed in Philly I wouldn't have to be in a long-distance relationship."

"Hey," I chuckled, poking her gently in the ribs. "Don't ruin the story."

She laughed, then her face grew more serious. "Mom, look, I know you wanted me to go to an Ivy League school but…"

"It's alright," I said, smiling. "Really, your father and I just want you to be happy. Actually, it's kind of nice in a way. _I_ went to the University of Philly, so it's nice that my children are too."

"Thanks, Mom," She said, ambushing me with a hug. "I'll make you and Daddy real proud, I promise."

"We already have, Sweetie," I said, grabbing her hands. "And you listen to me…if Henry Guarnere is the man for you then you grab hold and don't let him go, okay?"

"Okay," She said, frowning at me. "Mom?"

"It's important to be with the man you love."

……………………………..

_**ONE YEAR LATER **_

And so my children had flown the nest, making the journey from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, where, although staying in dormitories, I knew they'd be under the watchful eyes of Grandmas Anderson and Heffron.

They came back to visit often though. One particular visit has always been particularly significant to me. After completing their end-of-year exams, Orla and Henry had made the journey back to visit us by car. It was a bit of an impromptu visit and Babe and I couldn't fathom why they'd decided to come _now_. All would become clear, though.

"Daddy!" Orla cried, jumping out of the car and into Babe's arms.

"Hiya, Sweetheart," He embraced her back. He raised an eye at Henry. "Safe journey?"

"I drove _very_ carefully, Mr. Heffron," Henry chuckled, shaking Babe's hand.

"Come on inside, kids," I said. "I'll make some tea."

"In a minute," Babe said, taking Orla's hand. "Come on, I want to show you my new garden shed."

"Your new shed?" Orla repeated.

"Yes," I laughed, gently nudging my husband in jest. "Your dad's has filled the void of you kids being gone by building all sorts in the yard."

Orla laughed, leading Babe. "Show us then, Dad."

As they walked off I grabbed Henry's arm, leading him inside. "Don't bother. Come help me make the tea. Trust me you'll thank me for it. It's more of a shack than a shed. During the heavy rain a few weeks ago it rained into it and flooded…we had a little muddy pool in the year for _two_ weeks."

After making the tea and make polite conversation (turns out Bill was remarrying _again!_), I set a cup in front of Henry as he sat at the kitchen table.

"Mrs. Heffron," He blurted out suddenly.

"Yes Henry?" I asked, adding sugar to my tea.

"I…I want to ask Orla to marry me," He said, his words rushing out in one huge nervous sentence.

My face softened in delight, but then I suddenly gasped. "Oh no. She's not pregnant, is she?"

"What?" He gasped. "No! Oh God, no!"

"Just checking," I smiled, stirring the contents of my cup. "Well I think that's great, Henry, but you're both still so young."

"I know, I know," He replied. "But I love her, and I think I make her happy and could continue to do so for the rest of our lives. And if talking to my dad is anything to go by then I've learned that life's too short to take anything slowly."

"Talking to your dad?" I repeated.

"Yeah," He said, looking down. "I know…about you and my father."

I paused. "He told you?"

"Yeah," He replied, opening up to me. "I was feeling like I wanted to propose to Orla, so I went to talk to my dad and see what he thought. We ended up getting drunk together and talking all night…in a way that we _never_ have before. He told me all about you two during the war, and how he never really wanted to marry my mother."

I looked down, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Henry."

"No, it's not your fault. He told me you hadn't known about my mother," He said, waving his hands emphatically. "I feel like such a jerk, though. I was so horrible to you for a while there when I was younger after I saw you and my dad in the kitchen that way. I didn't realise how hard it must have been for both of you. I thought it was really noble of you, though, to step back and realise that my mother got there first."

"Well she did, " I nodded, chucking. "Even if I didn't know it."

He laughed. "Besides, if you hadn't then I never would've gotten to meet Orla."

"Too right," I said, realising this was true and then gasping again. "I might've been your mother!"

We looked at each other, horrified.

"Let's never say that again," I said, frowning.

"Have to say I'd agree with ya on that one," He laughed.

"So Henry," I said, changing the subject. "I'm flattered that you brought this up with me but shouldn't you really be talking to Mr Heffron about this?"

"Well, traditionally but, I dunno. It felt more appropriate to ask you," He smiled.

"Thank you," I smiled, touched. I added jokingly. "Well anyway, I think I can decide for both Mr Heffron _and_ myself and…we say yes."

"Thank you," He chuckled. "I always thought it was you who wore the trousers."

"Oh, that's always been fact," I laughed along.

Suddenly we looked up, hearing someone loitering in the little hallway between the kitchen and the garden.

"Orla?" I called out.

Orla appeared, flushed, walking into the kitchen.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "Where's Dad?"

"Oh," She said, sitting down distractedly, as though her mind was somewhere else. "He went to find the blueprints for the gazebo he wants to build."

…………………

That night, I found it hard to drift off to sleep, tossing and turning all night. Suddenly I heard the sound of crockery being moved down in the kitchen. I got, putting my robe on to go and investigate.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw Orla filling up the teapot in her pyjamas.

"Orla?"

She jumped, turning round to look. "Oh, Mom. You scared me."

"Sorry," I apologised. "What are you doing up, Sweetie? It's 3 a.m.."

"I couldn't sleep," She admitted, sighing.

"What you making there, tea?" I asked, peering over.

"Uh…yeah," She said. "You want a cup?"

"Well okay, since I'm up anyway," I said, sitting down at the table. I patted the empty chair next to me. "Come sit with me whilst it boils."

She sat down, looking very pale.

"What's wrong, Sweetie?"

"Ma," She said, queasily. "I heard you and Henry talking earlier….about you and his dad."

"Oh," I said, my stomach turning.

"I asked him to explain and he did. He told me everything, about you and Mr Guarnere during the war and coming back to find he was married," She said, a hurt expression clouding over her face. "Why didn't you tell me, Ma?"

"I…I didn't think it was something you needed to know," I said. "It was something I'd have preferred to keep to myself."

"What?" She said, slightly angrily. "You didn't think I deserved to know that you love another man over Daddy!"

"Now you listen here," I said, raising my voice and pointing at her. "I love your father! I love him with all my heart."

She looked down, hurt and embarrassed.

My expression softened and my eyes filled up. "Orla…yes. As it happens I've had two loves in my life. I fell in love with Mr Guarnere but he was already taken. Life moves on Orla, I fell in love with your father. I see now I was meant to be with him. I'm glad I am, because he makes me so happy."

"But how could you go on?" She asked, confused. "Knowing the man you loved was married to someone else. That would kill me, ma."

"Life is what it is, Orla," I said, stroking her hand. "It works in mysterious ways. But I'll tell you what…I trust it. It was actually Henry's father who introduced me to your dad. So if I hadn't have met him, I'd never have had you and Finlay…and you'd never have been able to have Henry in your life."

"Gee Ma," She mused. "I never thought of it that way. But wow, Ma. You once told me that love is all about sacrifices…and you sacrificed the man you loved so he could be with someone else. You must have _really_ loved him."

"I did," I said, looking down and knowingly getting the tense wrong. "I did."

……………………

_**SIX MONTHS LATER**_

Walking into the smoky South Philly Italian-American bar, I spied Bill sitting at the Bar eating a plate of spaghetti.

"Bill Guarnere," I said, fondly. "I can't believe you still drink in this dive."

He looked over, beaming. "Fiona! Good to see ya again, kid."

"You too," I said, sitting down on the stool next to him.

"And of course I still come here," He said, holding up his fork to show me. "Food's good!"

"Yuck. I think I ate better-looking dishes at training camp… and that's saying something. Now, from what I hear you're getting married again," I said pointedly. "Why aren't you at home getting some home-made grub?"

"She called it off," He said, rather nonplussed, shovelling another forkful into his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Bill," I said. Then I chuckled, he'd had enough weddings to have developed a sense of humour about them. "Shame she passed up on the chance to become the _fifth_ Mrs Guarnere."

"Yeah, shame," He said, rolling his eyes. "Don't you worry about me, I'm just biding my time."

"How so?" I asked.

"Nothing," He smirked, sipping his beer.

"Anyway," I said, rolling my eyes and changing the subject. "Who'd have thought it, huh? Our kids getting married tomorrow."

"Yeah," He smiled. "Looks like they succeeded where we failed."

"Where _you_ failed," I corrected him.

"Fine, fine," He said, holding up his hands to show no protest. "Still, I suppose you're right. Whilst you know I love Babe, it's nice to know that they're doing what you and I never got to."

"Lucky Bastards," Bill laughed, handing me over his beer for a sip.


	45. Chapter 45 EPILOGUE

Chapter 45- EPILOGUE

Chapter 45- EPILOGUE

_**13 YEARS LATER**_

"So will there be a party tonight after work?" I asked, straightening my husband's tie for his last shift as a Pittsburgh Police Officer before retirement.

"Not a party, but a few of the guys are taking me out for a beer after," He said, smiling at me mischievously, his face still every bit as handsome despite the wrinkles revealing his age. "Or two…"

"Or could it be three?" I joked, smoothing out the tie. "Ready"

"Okay," He said, putting on his coat. "I better get going."

He walked towards the door but I called him back, wagging my finger in a "come here" motion.

"What?" He asked playfully, putting his arms around me, thinking I just wanted a kiss.

"Don't be a hero," I said. "Not on your last day."

"As if I would," He chuckled, leaning in for a kiss.

"Good, because the tickets to Acapulco are already booked," I laughed, giving him that kiss.

"Noted," He said, releasing me. He kissed me on the cheek before he left. "I love you."

"Love you too," I called back.

……………..

After a trip to the supermarket, I made it back just in time to answer the ringing telephone. Dropping the paper bags, I launched for the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mom?" Orla's voice came over the other end.

"Orla," I chirped happily. "How are things in Philly?"

"Good ma," She said. "What about Pittsburgh? Is dad sad it's his last day?"

I chuckled. "He says no, but I think really that means yes."

"I thought he would be," She said, fondly.

"How's Henry?"

"Not bad, the company's doing really well. He's expecting a high turnover this year," She said happily.

"Good, good. And little Eddie?" I asked, referring to my grandson.

"Good. Keeps asking when he's going to get to see you and dad again. I told him we'll come visit after you get back from Acapulco," She replied.

"Okay, Sweetie," I said, hearing a car pulling up outside in the driveway. "Well, someone's outside so I'd better go. Call you soon."

I hung up the phone and walked over to the window, pulling back the lace curtains to see a police car in the driveway. My stomach flipped. Babe's boss emerged from the car, looking sullen as he walked up the steps to the front door.

My head spun as I waited for the knock.

_Knock, knock_.

Hesitantly I walked to the door, pausing my hand at the doorknob before pulling it open to look him in the eye.

"Fiona…," He said, tipping his hat lightly. We were on first name terms. "I'm…I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"Don't," I said, holding my hand up in protest. His face said it all. "It can't be true. It just can't be."

"I'm sorry but…,"

"No!" I said, a single tear sliding down my cheek. "Don't say it. _Please_ don't say it."

"I'm…I'm so sorry," His voice cracked.

"But…but…he was supposed to retire," Was all I could think to say, before falling to my knees in floods of tears.

…………………………

I stood at my husband's grave in South Philly. The funeral had come and gone two hours previously, yet I hadn't been able to find the strength to move myself. Instead I just stared at headstone, my arms limply by my side. It wasn't supposed to go like this. He may not have been the first man I'd fallen in love with, but he'd certainly ended up being the man in my life. The one who'd stuck by me whenever things were going wrong. My soulmate. What was I going to do without him? I couldn't even begin to fathom things.

I heard footsteps behind me. "Hey kiddo."

I knew the voice. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Why do you still call me that, Bill?"

"I'll always call you that," He said, soothingly and affectionately. He came to my side. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it in time for the funeral. I caught the first flight I could but I was still too late."

"Doesn't matter," I mumbled.

"I'm so sorry," He said sincerely, holding out his arms to embrace me.

I lost it. I fell into his arms, sobbing. "I really loved him Bill."

"I know you did," He said, comfortingly stroking my back.

"I feel so alone," I whimpered.

"You're not alone," He insisted, releasing me and looking into my eyes. "You'll always have me. I'll always be by your side, kiddo."

"What do you mean?" I asked, all of my combined emotions confusing me.

"Oh, no," He said, defensively but then stopping, changing his expression to an emotionally exposed one. "Just that I'm there for…in any way you want me you can have me."

I was confused and not sure what he was getting at, but my emotions made me react badly. "In what way would I want you, Bill? What are you getting it?"

His eyes widened. "No…jeez. I didn't mean…"

"I can't hear this right now," I shook my head, turning to walk off.

"Where are you going?" He called after me.

"Away!" I shouted back, then whispered to myself. "I need to get away from here.

…………

And that's exactly what I did. I couldn't stay in Philly, too many memories there. I certainly couldn't go back to Pittsburgh either. Without Babe there was nothing there for me, what with our kids living in Philly. No, I had to go further than that. So, taking early retirement from my job and selling the house, I packed a few things and headed for Europe. I needed to go somewhere where I could be free all of all distractions and get my head back together and connect with myself. Little did I know I would take the next five years travelling to do this.

With this in mind, the first place I headed was Scotland. I'd always felt a great connection to my homeland despite never having visited it. I knew I had family in Glasgow, cousins of my mother's sister Margaret. I'd spoken to them several times before on the telephone over the years. So, landing in Glasgow Airport, I was greeted warmly by my cousin Shirley.

"Nice to put a face to the voice finally," She'd laughed in her Glaswegian brogue, very similar to the way my Grandmother had spoken.

A widow herself with children who'd already flown the next, she immediately took me in under her wing, taking my to her apartment where she assured me I could stay as long as I wanted. I was so grateful to her, immediately taking up shifts at the family bakery she ran with her children- named Andersons' Bakery, to my utter delight- in an attempt to pay her back in some way.

……………..

_**6 MONTHS LATER**_

"There we go then, one cheese and onion pasty," I said, handing over the bag to a customer. "And your change, there."

"Thank you"

"Have a nice day," I waved her out of the shop.

"Mornin," Shirley's chirped, appearing from the back curtain.

"Hi," I smiled back, wiping the countertop with a cloth.

"This came for ye today," She said, holding out a letter.

"Oh," I smiled excitedly, thinking it might be from the kids or grandchildren. I took the letter from her, and gasped when I saw from the return address that it was from Bill.

"Surprise?" Shirley asked.

"Big one," I admitted.

She took the cloth from me. "Okay, well why don't you take a break and go sit in George Square. Take as long as you need, the sun's shining."

……..

Sitting on a park bench in a packed Friday afternoon in George Square, still in my apron, I opened the letter.

_Dearest Fiona,_

_Long time no see, kiddo. I'd have been in contact before if I'd actually been able to find you. With Henry's helpful hints of "her postal address is with a Shirley Anderson". Do you know how many Shirley Andersons there are in Scotland?! Anyway, hopefully this reaches you well._

_I hope you are finding everything you hoped to in Scotland. I realise now you had to go for personal reasons, but for so long I was worried I'd scared you off the continent. I didn't mean to suggest that I could replace Babe in your life. I would never be so bold as to claim that. I just meant that I'll always be here for you if you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on. _

_I miss you very much. We all do. The grandkids too. Eddie keeps asking when you're coming home. I told him that you'll be home when you're ready. We hope that'll be soon. _

_Yours_,

_Bill._

_PS- Don't forget the Philly Eagles! I know it's all about soccer over there, but the Glasgow Rangers and Celtic (that's right, I did my research) don't have nothing on good ol' American football._

I laughed at the last part. The whole letter made my body glow with happiness. I had wonderful people waiting for me…but I still wasn't ready to go back yet.

That night, I put pen to paper myself and wrote him back:

_Bill,_

_Thank you so much for your letter. _

_I'm sorry for the day of the funeral. Emotions got the better of me and I overreacted. But I had to get away anyway, so please don't think that you forced me to leave in any way. _

_Scotland is wonderful. The people are wonderful and it's beautiful. The only fault I can find is the diet (remind me to tell you about Haggis Fritters) … oh, and maybe the weather. It is absolutely shocking. Today was probably the third sunniest day I've encountered since coming here…every other day has been pouring down with rain. My spirits remain high and dry, however. I need this just now, but hopefully I'll be back to you all someday._

_Oh and by the way, you should know that if there ever was a man who could replace Babe then you'd be the leading contender. _

_Fiona_

_PS- I don't know, Bill. Scottish soccer is pretty exciting. Football Hooliganism is quite shocking however, and I thought Eagles fans could be violent!_

…………………

I stayed in Scotland for two years in total, before deciding it was time for me to move on somewhere else. I didn't go too far, just across the sea to Ireland. I thought it might help me feel close to Babe again, filling the gap I'd felt since losing him. It didn't really. Whilst Ireland was beautiful, I realised that he'd had no real connection the place. In his heart he was a proud, patriotic American.

From there, I decided to head to mainland Europe. I bypassed France, Austria and Germany, too many war memories there that I was strong enough to visit alone. Instead, I headed to Spain. After travelling around, settling temporarily in various cities over two years, I eventually settled down in Valencia. I loved it there, slotting in nicely amongst the locals. What with house prices being so cheap at the time, I got a great deal on a beachside cottage. I decided this could be a place I could settle down permanently. Or, that _was_ the plan, at least.

………………………

"Hola Vicente," I said, sitting down for my daily café con leche at the local cafe. I'd come to know the owner, Vicente, very well. He was charming, handsome and we'd become very close. I know what you're thinking, but our relationship wasn't of that nature…he was gay! No, we were merely confidantes, spending the days gossiping and giving each other counsel. It was Vicente who had begun to help me stop wallowing over Babe, instead celebrating and remembering fondly all of the good time we'd had together and how fortunate we'd been to have them.

"Good morning," He chirped, setting a cup down in front of me and planking himself on the chair across from me. "Do you want to come for lunch today when I close? The lady from the library handed me a paella and it's too big for me to eat myself."

"Oye, Vicente!" I chuckled. "I think she likes you."

"Don't say that!" He said, recoiling in horror.

"Anyway, I can't have lunch today. I have to go to airport, my daughter and son-in-law arrive today," I smiled excitedly.

He slapped his forehead. "Dios Mio, I forgot. I can't remember anything these days!"

"Waiter!" An impatient voice called from the corner in an English accent. "Can we order?!"

"In a minute!" Vicente called over, rolling his eyes at me.

"Don't look at me like that," I laughed. "They're not from my country!"

"Every time you say that," He laughed, standing up and smoothing his apron. "Well, be sure and introduce them to me when they get here."

…………………

I waited at the Airport, my stomach in knots. It had been so long since I'd seen them last. The Christmas visit seemed so long ago.

"Mom!" Orla cried, running over to me.

"Sweetie!" I smiled, both of us falling into a tight embrace. "I missed you so much!"

"Me too, Mom," She whispered back.

We pulled away, wiping our eyes and trying to compose ourselves. "So…uh…where's Henry?"

"Um, well, he's there," She said nervously, grabbing for my arm. "Mom, you should know…we decided to bring someone else with us. I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind? Who did you bring?" I asked warmly, looking around. I saw Henry, red-faced and dragging the luggage…_Bill_ in tow. "Oh."

"Are you sure this is okay?" She asked quickly before they reached us. "He just really missed you and…"

I silenced her with a quick hand wave. "Of course it's fine, darling. Happy to see him."

I walked over. "Bill!"

"Hey kiddo," He said, kissing my on the cheek and offering me a warm smile. Into his twilight years but still every bit the looker he had always been. "Hope you don't mind me tagging along like this."

"Of course not," I smiled. "It's so good to see you."

"Don't forget me," Henry winked at me, smiling cheekily. A cheeky smile that I recognised from his father.

"Of course not," I kissed him on the cheek. "Good to see you too, Henry."

Why was my stomach front _and_ back flips?

………………………

The next morning I walked into my kitchen surprised to see Bill already sitting there.

"Morning," I said, a bit taken aback. "You're up early."

"Actually _you're_ up late," He said, his eyes glinting with amusement as he looked at the wall clock. I looked over- 11 a.m.. Sheesh.

"Oh my," I said, laughing. "Guess I was sleeping soundly."

"Getting too into the relaxed way of life around here, more like," He joked, pulling out a chair for me.

"Ha ha," I said dryly, sitting next to him. "Where are Orla and Henry."

"Headed off to the beach at about 9," He said.

"You didn't want to go?" I asked.

"Nah. I'm not very good in the hot sun these days," He said, wiping his forehead. "I must be getting old."

"Then I can't imagine why you wanted to come to Spain," I joked, then quickly changed the subject, standing up. "Ok then. Give me five minutes to get dressed and we'll head out and do something fun."

…………..

"This place looks nice," Bill said as we walked in Vicente's café

"I come here every day," I said, looking over and catching Vicente's eye as we sat down. "The owner is a very good friend of mine.

"Lady with connections, huh?" Bill winked at me as Vicente walked over to us.

"Buenos dias, Fiona," Vicente said, taking out his notepad. He turned to Bill. "Who is your friend?"

"This is my very dear friend, Bill," I smiled, introducing the two. "Bill, this is Vicente."

"Very nice to meet you, _Bill_," Vicente said, amused, as he shook Bill's hand. He beamed at me. He knew all about Bill. "Fiona has told me so much about you."

"Nothing bad, I hope," Bill joked.

"No, quite to the contrary," Vicente said, eyeing up Bill.

"Two coffees, please," I laughed, raising my voice a little to distract Vicente. He could moon over Bill later.

"Coming right up," Vicente smiled warmly at us. He leaned over to me before he left. "Oye, que guapo!"

Watching him walk away, I laughed at his calling Bill handsome. What a flirt.

"Nice fella," Bill said, pointing over to Vicente standing at the cash register. He shifted in his chair. "So…life's treating you well here?"

"Very much so," I smiled. "It's a beautiful place to grow old."

"Where's that Philly loyalty?" Bill joked.

I yawned jokingly. "The beautiful sunshine and the beach just make it so hard…"

"Shaddup," He said, jokingly tossing one of the sugar sachets at me. His eye suddenly caught Vicente's over at the cash register, who had his eyes fixed on us. "Say, Fi…you and…Vicente?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"Are you two…y'know?" He asked, trying to indicate with his hands. "…together? It's just, he keeps looking over at the table."

"What?" I burst out laughing. "No, Bill. We're not together. If anything, he's looking at _you_!"

"What do you mean?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"He's gay, Bill," I said, drying.

"Oh!" Bill said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I see. Well, heck of a nice fella."

I laughed at him squirming. "So, Bill…what about you and _your_ love life?"

"What do you wanna know?" He asked.

"How many wives is it now?" I asked, jokingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, eight. But no more. I'm past it!"

"You're never getting married again?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Nope," He said, leaning back. "Time to admit defeat."

"Well at least you ended on an even number," I joked, swallowing the rest of my coffee. "Want to go get something a little stronger.

"Read my mind," He said, standing up.

………………..

I exploded with laugher as I poured more sangria into our glasses. "I'll just never forget your face when you saw me on the day of the jump into France and you knew I'd joined Easy!"

"_You'll_ never forget it," He laughed, dramatically pointing to himself. "_I_ thought I was gonna have a heart attack. Either that or I thought I was hallucinatin' from the airsick pills!"

"Not telling you in advance, if I'm honest…," I hiccupped. "was half about protecting you…and half just to see your face!"

"Evil!" He said, laughing.

"But," I said, composing my face into a more serious expression. "If I may be serious for a moment. I think the one thing we learned about our early time in England was…I kick your ass at darts!"

I clinked his glass with mine, teasingly.

"Evil," He repeated, laughing!

"I'm not!" I smiled innocently, sitting back in my chair. The laughter began to subside and we just looked at each other, smiling.

"I've really missed just sitting and shooting the shit with you, kiddo," He smiled at me, contented.

"Me too," I said, looking back at him. I could blame it on the sangria all I wanted, but I couldn't hide my amazement at how much I could feel myself falling in love with Bill Guarnere all over again. Or had I ever really stopped? He always had that power over me in some way. Although I couldn't deny what I was feeling, it still felt wrong because of Babe.

I looked over at the clock. "We should get home. The kids are going to be going spare worrying where we are. They're going to be so mad at us for being so drunk!"

"Hey," Bill slurred, standing up and offering me his arm. "Who are the parents h-here?"

We walked home, laughing drunkenly at every semi-funny thing we passed by. To us, it was all hilarious.  
………………….

The next day, Bill and I under a very large parasol on the beach, nursing some bad hangovers. Henry and Orla sat further down from us, basking in the sun on loungers.

"We're getting too old to be drinking," He said.

"Speak for yourself, " I laughed, but quickly stopped as the pain coursed through my head. I took a big swig of water.

"At least it's quieter here than in Philly," He reasoned. "Philly's too noisy when you have a hangover!"

"True," I said, letting my eyes drift over to Orla and Henry. "You know, Bill, if you'd have told me years and years ago that one day I'd actually be happy that you and I never managed to get it together when we were younger I would have called you crazy."

"Tell me about it," He nodded, looking over at them, where Henry was feeding Orla a strawberry as they laughed happily. "You're so sure about what you want, but you don't know where it's going to lead."

"It was meant to be this way," I nodded. "It might not have been our time, but at least they can have theirs."

He looked down, thinking. "Do you think _now_ might be our time?"

I stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"You and me," He explained earnestly. "Do you ever think about us…getting together. You know we're both single now…"

"I think about it more and more these days," I admitted, looking him nervously in the eye. Damn it, Bill had this ability to make me feel like I was in my 20s all over again, nervous and unsure.

"So…?" He said, moving in closer to me.

"Let's just see how things go, okay Bill?" I said. "There's a lot at stake here. We're in the same family now."

…………………….

On their last night in Valencia, we decided to go out for dinner and dancing to make the last night really special.

"So I guess it's pointless me trying to convince you to come home with us?" Orla said, moving closer to me as Henry and Bill got a brandy at the bar.

"Yes," I said, nodding almost apologetically. "My life is here."

She looked at me slightly confused, then pointed my attention to Bill. "No one else that you could be convinced to move back for?"

"Orla…," I said, nervously sipping my wine.

"Mom, it's okay you can talk about it," She smiled understandingly at me. "Henry and I are both okay with the fact that you and Bill will always have _feelings_ for each other."

"Bill and I do have feelings for each other," I told her. "But, I don't know. To me it just doesn't feel right, like it would be wrong."

"Because of daddy?" She asked curiously.

"Partly, yes," I admitted.

"Mom, you know he'd want you to be happy," She said.

"I know but…,"

"In fact, I'd think that, out of everyone you could be with, he'd actually rather you were with Bill," She speculated.

"How do you figure that?" I asked, intrigued.

"Well…daddy was madly in love with you and I think he always knew that the only other person out there who loved you as much as he did…was Bill!"

Interesting…

"Care to dance?" Bill interrupted.

"Mom would love to dance," Orla said, looking at me mischievously.

Smiling, I took Bill's hand as he led me to the dance floor. He put his arm around my waist as we began to dance.

"So…home tomorrow," I said simply.

"That's what my ticket says," He chuckled. A few more seconds passed then he pulled my closer, whispering into my ear. "I love you."

My body tingled. "I love you too, Bill."

"Wow, I said it," He laughed, making relieved noises.

"Oh God, you're not going to propose are you?" I joked.

"No," He laughed. "I'd never propose to you?"

"You wouldn't?"

"No, I respect you too much to marry you," He said. "You had a husband. He should be your only husband. Besides, I've never been able to make marriage work…and I really want to make things work with you?"

"Make things work with me?" I asked hesitantly.

"I want you to come back to Philly with me," He blurted out.

"What?"

"I love you so much. You're the only woman I've ever loved and I've waited my whole life to be with you. I think we owe it to each other to give it a shot."

"Bill I was so in love with Babe, but I can't deny that I've loved you my whole life too," I said.

"So you mean…?" He asked, excitedly.

My chin trembling, I shook my head at him. "No. I'm sorry but I can't come back to Philly with you."

"But…"

"No, Bill. Please. My decision is final."

…………………….

The next day was overcast, perfectly fitting to all of our moods as we said goodbye at the airport.

"Bye Mom," Orla said, hugging me. "Sure you don't want to come home?"

"No, Sweetie," I smiled, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I have to stay."

"Okay," She nodded, knowing she couldn't change my mind.

I turned to Bill, more tears flowing down my cheeks. "Well, give me a hug then."

"I hate saying goodbye to you," He whispered.

"Tell me about it," I said tearfully.

"I love you, kiddo," He said.

"Love you, too," I said, kissing his cheek as I released him from my grasp.

The goodbyes had been said and it was time to board the flight. Tears streamed down my cheeks. "Well, you all better get going. Give my love to the Grandchildren, won't you?"

They turned off to walk but Bill turned back. "Fiona?"

"Yes?"

He strode over to me, confidently pulled me into his arms and placed a soft but eager kiss on my lips. I hadn't been kissed like that in _quite_ some time. Eventually we pulled apart.

"Just think about it. There'll always be a charming old gent in South Philly waiting for you if you choose to grow old with him" He whispered, walking back to join Henry and Orla.

My stomach lurched. I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

………………..

Three days passed since they left and I felt so low. Since Bill had left I felt like something was missing in my life. I'd spent the last five years trying to patch up gaps and now it felt like a huge one had been torn open when he left. Naturally, I turned to Vicente for advice.

"I can't stand feeling like this," I moaned.

"Why didn't you go with him, fool?" Vicente tutted. "That gorgeous man, and he was so in love with you as well!"

"I know but…,"

"What? What's holding you back?" He asked. "Your husband?"

"Partly," I said.

"Well don't worry about that," He insisted. "You know he would want you to be happy and for sure he wouldn't want you to be alone, you know?"

"I know," I nodded.

"So what else is scaring you?" He asked, cocking his head to one side, concerned.

"Well…I remember all those years ago when I found out Bill and I couldn't be together because he was married, I was so low. For a very long time. I'd never felt like that in my life and I wasn't prepared for it. What if it didn't work out? I don't know that I could go through all that again," I said, worried.

"Hmm, you're not children anymore, though," Vicente reasoned. "and he's not married this time! Besides, you've both waited so long to be together that I don't think either of you will mess it up."

"So you think…?" I asked.

"Well, it's about what _you_ think. I think you know what you should do, but I'm afraid to say it out loud because it means I'm going to lose you," He said sadly.

I knew he was right though. I knew what I had to do. Tears of happiness falling down my face, I pulled him into a hug. "You'll never lose me."

………………………..

_**THREE DAYS LATER**_

_I cant believe I'm doing this._

_Knock Knock._

"Fiona," Bill asked shocked, eyeing me as he opened his door. "You're here!"

"That's right," I smiled, a tear running down my cheek. I couldn't control them these days. Slowly, I placed my suitcases on either side of me. "Back in Spain, you said something about always being here for me in case I wanted to grow old with you. I…I was just wondering if that offer was still valid."

"You bet it is," Bill beamed, pulling me into his arms and giving me a lingering kiss. Ecstatically, he picked up my cases and motioned for me to follow him inside. "Get in here!"

……………………….

And so, readers, that takes us up to the present day. I've come to accept I've always had two men in my life, and I loved them both with all my heart. I thought my romantic life was over after Babe passed on, and I certainly never thought I'd end up with Bill after all that had happened. But, they say what's for you won't go by you and this time Bill really _was_ waiting for me in Philly, like he'd promised me all those years ago. Promise fulfilled…finally.

We never married, and even to this day we have no intention to. He was right, Babe was my husband and I wanted him to remain the only husband I ever had. Bill and I are simply happy to spend the remainder of our lives being with each other and making each other happy…and watching our family grow, of course.

………………………………………………………..

NOTE- Well, that's it! Finally made it to the end. What a ride, eh? Well, I've had so much fun writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed it. Please, please let me know what you thought :D.


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